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Hi community, I have a short story to tell and one request that please don't judge me. I know that I can get very useful advice here because many of you have read great scriptures and some of the wisest people on internet can be found here. I was in a relationship with a girl for last 8 months. She was from a conservative family and her mixing with boys was not liked. I was in relationship with her for last 8 months. Recently, I got to know she has been in a relationship with some other boy also for last 5 years. So she was cheating me and also the other guy. Her past is shady and has two or three relationships like this in the past. When I got to know about the other boy I was so furious and wanted to take revenge in some way. But a wise lady suggested me to control my anger and wait for a few days. I did the same but somehow I could not stop thinking about revenge and finally told everything to her mother. She was beaten and scolded, though I insisted to her mother that please don't punish her and let her free. Tbh, I wanted an end to this story so I thought that may be her mother will marry her with that boy and I will make my mind understand that she is no more mine. But things happened the other way. Her mother called me in the evening and said to me if I will marry her daughter. I didn't say yes but I know she is never going to marry her daughter with that person and I am always a option for them because I am highly educated than her and also earning a lot more. Now my question is I am totally blinded by the beauty of that girl. She has become like a priceless possession for me and I want her at all cost. Until I have that choice to marry her I can't stop thinking about her. May be I sound foolish but that's the true story. I sometimes think what if she stays with me for a short time (if cheats me) ,in any case relationships are not absolute in nature. Couples cheat each other so many times in life. Would I be wrong if I decide to marry her? because in any case she is not going to get married with her choice of boy. Moreover, I know her and love her too so please enlighten me on this situation. Thanks in advance.
grabmywrist4 posted a topic in General DiscussionI have had this problem for so many years. I have been to monks, I have been to teachers, I have seen my guru many times, nothing ever, ever, permanently fixes this problem. When I meditate, energy moves into my head, it builds into a giant ball of pressure, and then anger, delusion, confusion, and insanity start to arise as a result. For years I have tried to fix it, I have been taught so many techniques to fix it, nothing fixes this problem. When the pressure builds up in my head, it starts to hurt my heart and lungs below. I have felt like I was going to have a heart attack before. Every morning I wake up, there it is, the big ball of pressure stuck in my head, i meditate, it gets worse and worse. Everyday is another day of suffering and misery. Horrible horrible emotions constantly arising day after day due to this energy being stuck in my head. Is there anyone in this world that knows how to fix this problem? I haven't met one yet :\
I don't know if you guys really call it a plateau. Anyway I've done progress with Dantian breathing (The range of the sexual energy used to increase after every time) However, nowadays I only feel the energy in my hands and arms. Also a slight circulation between arms and legs. But that's it. What do I do to make it easier for the energy to expand?