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In my youth, I loved the mystical.  I believed in the magick powers that we hear about, I believed I had some advantages.  I liked the tarot, and saw my life as an adventurous journey.  Then the unthinkable happened;  a God replied to my call for aid.  This sent me on a perilous journey of deeper discovery, and wound up with demonic possession.  This demon destroyed me over and over again.  During this stage I started to predict major world events and it seemed like I had some control in the matter.  I wound up hallucinating and delusional and broken.  I now know the dangers of working with deity and mysticism.  I have some unanswered questions that will always be a mystery- in fact, most of the unknown still remains answerless.  I now see mysticism as a sort of mental illness, that can lead to dangerous decisions.  

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When dealing with matters such as these, to me it's always good to remain grounded and continually health check the direction of contact and always always remind oneself.

 

Just because they don't have a body, does not mean they are smart, or necessarily have a desire to help.

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17 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

In my youth, I loved the mystical.  I believed in the magick powers that we hear about, I believed I had some advantages.  I liked the tarot, and saw my life as an adventurous journey.  Then the unthinkable happened;  a God replied to my call for aid.  This sent me on a perilous journey of deeper discovery, and wound up with demonic possession.  This demon destroyed me over and over again.  During this stage I started to predict major world events and it seemed like I had some control in the matter.  I wound up hallucinating and delusional and broken.  I now know the dangers of working with deity and mysticism.  I have some unanswered questions that will always be a mystery- in fact, most of the unknown still remains answerless.  I now see mysticism as a sort of mental illness, that can lead to dangerous decisions.  

 

Helpful Demon, I am glad that you have come to at least part of the realization that you have.  From the time you started posting here I realized that you were a serious case of Demonic Obsession, but not Possession.  I followed your posts, copied them for documentation and wondered what to do.  Confronting you on them would lead to nothing of value, and create a lot of defensiveness, which would have only made matters worse.  I have been very busy so I just been byding my time until now.  I am still not sure how to proceed in your case, but in your final judgment about mysticism you have gone to far and I hope that you can come to a more balanced appreciation of its value.  In all of these matters you must always ask questions and the most important person to ask is yourself, to ask yourself what you believe and why you believe it.  Good luck in the rest of your journey.

 

ZYD

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The way I see it, mysticism is a method of getting you in line with a certain faith, one that cannot be proven.  It is inspiration to action, and it isnt always rational, and that is why I call it a mental illness.  We want to believe God has our backs, but in my case, God has betrayed my love and sent demons to torture me, for reasons unknown.  

 

I think that life is either random, or a test of our righteousness.  Why else would a God create such a place of ills and evils?  It might be that we are here to understand free will, I accept that answer too.  Still, mysticism leads us down a path of thinking that is dangerous, in my opinion.

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I am wondering if you , HD , remember any previous correspondence ?

 

Anyway, doesnt matter .

 

I have a friend that wants to build a house for his family here . It is well possible, many other people have done it . I know how to navigate through all of that, been here over 30 years and helped many a person on many a level bring it to manifestation .

 

I have drawn up architectural plans , built models and worked on building .  My new forest bath house is 98% finished  now ... its VERY swish. People  admire it  and ask 'Did YOU build that ? ".  Yes, and I designed it and did all the interior design , materials and color matching , etc .  I said I would help him.There are certain rules that need following , which I know ,  a certain 'flavor of approach ' needed  for approval , which I am very familiar with .  I point to another neighbor and say to look  what she has done ; we have a friend with a lot of land and timber , and a bush saw mill ; " Look at that huge stack of cut lumber  he has delivered  over there for the new shed and house extensions . I have a near by shed ,  a bench saw, wood working tools, a generator  ..... what more could could  one want ?  Oh yes, the land is for free as well .    I even helped his partner for 3 hours write out the suitable proposal to get things underway .

 

She came back with a different proposal .  I  said it was worded strangely and would give people the wrong impression. She said "Well, what would you have written ? "

I responded " I would have written what was on that sheet that we wrote out together that I spent a few hours with you on. "

She mumbled something about 'loosing it '     WTF ?   I dont think she lost it at all . I detected  HIS  hand in that and I believe he has rejected my advice .... he wants a 'tiny house' ..... because he has seen them on TV and likes them . ( And I know why ; he likes all the little gadgets and innovations and space saving ideas  ... but that can be put into any house ).

 

There is some type of obstinacy there . Well, he went ahead and started trying to get approval signatures on their proposal. But it didnt work .... it was pointed out to him  that he left out all these things people  wanted to know about ( exactly those things I included in the original proposal ! )  ... and of course it has failed . So he amped up, yelled said stupid  angry things now people are off side .

 

Ho - hum . What ya gonna do ?

 

Hand some  people a HEAP of help, knowledge ,personal  experience ,  advice   .... but  - nope !   They will INSIST on failing their own way .

 

 .....      Sorry for being 'off topic " .

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On 8/20/2021 at 11:29 AM, helpfuldemon said:

Why else would a God create such a place of ills and evils? 

 

 

You've chosen to look at it this way.  There are many here who understand that once the egoic overload is removed, that the Real is found.

 

Please consider that there is no 'thing' out there in the Duality that is going to save us.  In fact, we are the Thing.  The incredible intelligence that created all this is that which formed our bodies, tells the trees how many branches to have, and whispers to turtles when to go down to the beach and lay their eggs.  We are It.  It's not a theory.  It's what you find after you've removed all the dross from your inner being.  The blueprint for everything.

 

There are many here that understand that there is no such thing as ills or evils.  That is a value judgment set up by either our collective or personal agreement.  Things just Is.  What appears horrible at one moment turns out to be the greatest thing that ever happened to you.  The trick, I guess, is to keep our minds open, realize that all other beings are You.  If you punch a guy in the face, you're punching yourself.

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On 8/21/2021 at 5:42 PM, manitou said:

 

 

You've chosen to look at it this way.  There are many here who understand that once the egoic overload is removed, that the Real is found.

 

Please consider that there is no 'thing' out there in the Duality that is going to save us.  In fact, we are the Thing.  The incredible intelligence that created all this is that which formed our bodies, tells the trees how many branches to have, and whispers to turtles when to go down to the beach and lay their eggs.  We are It.  It's not a theory.  It's what you find after you've removed all the dross from your inner being.  The blueprint for everything.

 

There are many here that understand that there is no such thing as ills or evils.  That is a value judgment set up by either our collective or personal agreement.  Things just Is.  What appears horrible at one moment turns out to be the greatest thing that ever happened to you.  The trick, I guess, is to keep our minds open, realize that all other beings are You.  If you punch a guy in the face, you're punching yourself.

You would choose to look at it this way too if you had been through what I have been through.  I dont say it lightly when I say I have been possessed by demons.  Im not looking for attention and Im not some guy overstating something small.  I mean these things literally; there is something to fear out there.  In the end I realize you have to love AND fear God, and should be cautious about what you say and do.

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16 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

 In the end I realize you have to love AND fear God, and should be cautious about what you say and do.

 

 

This is exactly how I was brought up as a kid to believe.

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F**k that 'fear God' bullshite !       More like  'fear us' !   (us being the people that installed whatever messed up programme they wanted to put in your head ) 

 

You cant really blame mysticism , as there have been many successful mystics  that have NOT had the experience you claim to have had .

 

Just like there are many electricians  that have not fried themselves by getting electric shocks .   If they are fried , do we blame the electricity  or their  lack of  preliminary research and caution ?

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Posted (edited)

Well, I was chosen for something, I don't know what...  this spirit entered my body and drew out a diamond shaped symbol and left.  I went out looking to understand symbols and found a book on glyphs.  It said to disassemble a symbol to discover what it means, so I did that.  As I did it, I travelled back in my mind wondering what I knew about God.  Why did this spirit hand me this symbol?  I travelled back to my foundations, which was "God is love", and "God made the world" onto which I pasted "The world is love"  that's when the lady from Al Queda, the girl with the blue eyes from the cover of National Geographic flashed in my mind, and I suddenly travelled across the whole world in my mind seeing how things were, and realized that maybe love wasn't the dominant force in the world.  I then foolishly blurted out "Youre not the God of love!  Give me the power to bring love here!"  and then a voice spoke.  It came from everywhere; inside and outside of me.  It wasn't from one direction.  It spoke a language I did not know and its voice sounded more than human, it was two voices, male and female, speaking as one, and as it spoke the words trailed off and other voices repeated what it was saying.   Now, this scared the hell out of me and I instantly replied "Whos there?" but all I got was silence.  I thought I had doomed myself and I went to lay down, hiding under the covers, expecting to die.  I woke up and decided to go on a quest.  I became paranoid that America was going to get attacked by Muslims (this was pre-911) and so I went on a mission to warn our nation.  A month later, after franticly searching and telling people, I found a website with some Qabalah and one of the symbols was the seven pointed star of Gnosticism rotating, animated.  I stared at it and went into a trance as it rotated.  I went to lay down and was thinking about order, that the world was order, that I was being called to an order.... then I realized "Wait!  Its all chaos!"  and then I saw a blue jewel and the seven pointed star superimposed itself onto it and cracked it open.  I felt pain in my groin and saw me running over a field,  and an angel flying above me, raising me up.  I heard "Chesed, Chesed" and came before a throne of gold and color.  Then in my mind I heard "I am the Sephiroth, I am all that is"  to which I naively said "No you are not!"  and then it went black.  Then something pierced my right ear and I heard terrible crashing/crushing/grinding and something entered my brain.  There were wires coming now from my groin and my ear, and they have overtaken me and caused me to hallucinate and become delusional over a dozen times.  These periods last for months, and when I finally get on some medicine, the depression that comes after quieting the hallucinations lasts for months.  Its been a roller coaster of delusions and depression, for twenty years.  During this time I predicted some things that later happened, like predicting that Al Quida would attack America.  Im finally stable today, Ive learned to denounce much of what I read as I researched, and I realize that all is not as it appears in books or in reality.

Edited by helpfuldemon

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HD, it seems like you're entertaining a brillo pad of neural pathways in your head.  It would be nice if you could unravel some of this stuff.  Your dedication to the path is wonderful.  You are obviously a very intelligent person, which sometimes works against us.  Your mind is filled with possibilities but you tend to extend them out to extreme places.  I have a friend who does something very similar to what your head does - he extends things out to the extremes and then frets about it.  And he manages to extend his thoughts out to where they always cancel each other out, rendering him powerless and stuck in the belief that there's nothing he can do about anything.  It's like everything points to "See?  I told you this wouldn't work."


When you're able to find some mental peace, all of your concerns will fuse together in an orderly way.  If I had a suggestion to make to you now, at this moment in time, I would suggest that you stop living in the mental for a while, and get into the physical.  Just forget this stuff for a month.  Pick up some free weights.  Go for a run.  Shower.  Carry wood, chop water :)

 

Rx:  Ignore head for 30 days.  Chop wood instead.

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I've learned how to quiet the mind, to the point where I have no thoughts unless I bid them.  Words and thoughts are pain to me, so I avoid them.  However I am still in my mind because this device that was placed inside me activates my mind with its wires and energy.  I am depressed because I cannot use my mind for anything.  I tried to read but closed the book after two sentences.  I don't watch television or listen to music.  I mostly sit in a meditative place all day long, avoiding information and thought.

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What I do on the internet is small pieces of information.  If its too lengthy I tune it out.  If its too challenging, I stop reading.  

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3 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

I've learned how to quiet the mind, to the point where I have no thoughts unless I bid them. 

 

 

That shows a lot of adeptness that your mind can be stilled.

 

If words are paining you, then you are taking the words of others personally.  that's one of the shamanic four agreements:  Don't Take Anything Personally.  The reason being, is that nobody is really thinking about you or trying to hurt specifically you.  There is no need for paranoia there, because people just act out of their own conditioning and impulses.  People just care about themselves, unless they're refined people, in which case they do care for others.  They're usually thinking about their own stuff, not you.   I care for you, for I know that I am You.  That's the whole reason.

 

You have the ability to still your thoughts.  Why give them sway when you consider that outside influences are coming in, demons?  You have the ability to still your thoughts and laugh them off.  Start training your mind to do this.  Find one defensive stance, and take that stance mentally every time one of these things makes an appearance.  And consider that this mental torture may have started long ago in childhood as a means to escape something else.  If that's the case, then following the twine ball back to the original incident(s) will give you a starting place to make the corrections you need to make.  

 

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Words don't pain me emotionally, they are physically painful to me.  If I use my mind to think, there is pain.  I cannot just shut it off or laugh it off as you suggest, though it would be nice to think so.  This isn't something I can control, except that I can not think.  When the voices come, I cannot control them at later stages.  I am fine right now, except that I do not want to do anything but sit quietly, which is hard because the wires make it hard to rest.

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Posted (edited)
16 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

I am fine right now, except that I do not want to do anything but sit quietly, which is hard because the wires make it hard to rest.

 

Are you able to read without too much discomfort?   If you're inclined towards the western religions and perceptions of God, you may find relief in the book of Psalms.  One tradition I read about recently listed psalms 109, 20, 90, 91, 4, and 65 in that order as helpful for some of the problems you're describing.  For a stronger effect recite the Psalms in a whisper before going to sleep at night.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Daniel

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19 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

Words don't pain me emotionally, they are physically painful to me.  If I use my mind to think, there is pain.  I cannot just shut it off or laugh it off as you suggest, though it would be nice to think so.  This isn't something I can control, except that I can not think.  When the voices come, I cannot control them at later stages.  I am fine right now, except that I do not want to do anything but sit quietly, which is hard because the wires make it hard to rest.

 

 

You've been to a doc, right?  There may be a med out there with your name on it.

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4 hours ago, Daniel said:

 

Are you able to read without too much discomfort?   If you're inclined towards the western religions and perceptions of God, you may find relief in the book of Psalms.  One tradition I read about recently listed psalms 109, 20, 90, 91, 4, and 65 in that order as helpful for some of the problems you're describing.  For a stronger effect recite the Psalms in a whisper before going to sleep at night.

 

 

 

 

I choose not to read anything, just to avoid the words.

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52 minutes ago, helpfuldemon said:

I choose not to read anything, just to avoid the words.

 

This may sound weird, but have you tried taking a cool shower for the pain?  Maybe start out luke warm, and slowly decrease the temperature?

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The only thing I can do for the psychic pain is sleep, and its hard to get sometimes.  The pain is always there in some form, but if I get good rest I don't notice it so much, though after being awake for awhile it comes back.  It leaves me suicidal.  As long as I can go to sleep I endure.

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3 hours ago, manitou said:

 

 

You've been to a doc, right?  There may be a med out there with your name on it.

I am on medicine, it doesn't fully take away the symptoms though.

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22 minutes ago, helpfuldemon said:

The only thing I can do for the psychic pain is sleep, and its hard to get sometimes.  The pain is always there in some form, but if I get good rest I don't notice it so much, though after being awake for awhile it comes back.  It leaves me suicidal.  As long as I can go to sleep I endure.

 

Well, you may be surprised how refreshing a cool shower can be.  Think of it like an athlete who sprains their ankle.  Ice is nice :)

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1 hour ago, helpfuldemon said:

I choose not to read anything, just to avoid the words.

 

Except what on the internet .

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Posted (edited)
40 minutes ago, Nungali said:

 

Except what on the internet .

It isn't as though every word is pain.  Its more like ideas are pain, and thinking or being creative, curious or an elevated mood causes pain and hallucinations.  The wires are always there, and always cause discomfort.  When I think or am creative they get active and travel around in my brain and cause pain.  The thoughts and the pain cause hallucinations, and then I become delusional and psychotic.  At the worst stages of psychosis I lose control of myself and do irrational things without knowing.  That is rare, but it has happened.  Typically I am in control, but because I am delusional, I do irrational things too.  

Edited by helpfuldemon

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