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20 years ago I had a vision of an Angel that took me before a throne, where the figure upon it said "I am the Sephiroth, I am all that is".

 

Since then I have witnessed many amazing things, and not all of them good.  Ive come to realize that God is the good and the evil, and that we are just pawns in a scheme of creation that is meant for us to experience and endure.  God is sickness, and health, God is war, and peace, God is life and death, and we are at His mercy.

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God can be a heavy/loaded word, filled with pre-conceptions.  Every now and then it's not a bad mental exercise to substitute another word.  

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If Ive learned anything about God through all of this its that no one can put words in Gods mouth, and God is free to do what He wills to do.

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9 hours ago, Nungali said:

So ...     a  'he'   is  'he'  ?

 

Thats an interesting problem.  Prior to my vision, I heard a voice.  It was masculine and feminine, but the masculine half spoke first.  The vision of the throne was male, I believe- it caught me by surprise and I barely got a glimpse of the entity.

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Maybe you had a vision of    A   God  . . .   claiming in a jealous, over ruling , male way , that he was all there is .

 

I knew a God like that once ... he was named Jehovah. I knew him via indoctrination  .....  but that  eventually failed .

 

Later I met     female God  . . .  she had a much nicer message .

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Its funny, and perplexing, because when I had that vision, I thought He was saying He was the only thing in existence, but in reflection, I think He meant that He made up the totality of all things in existence- that we each, that everything, has its own existence, but that He is the body that holds it all together.  I am all that is, I am everything.  I think this because He would have otherwise said "I am all there is"  by saying that, it makes me think Hes saying all that is is there, and I am that- I am in it all, it is in me, we are all that is.

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It occurs to me that a lot of our cruelty comes from our pursuit of perfection.  If something isnt perfect, we mock it, we kill it, we attack it, we ignore it.  The pursuit of perfection... is it connected with our concept of God in some way?  God, being perfect, having perfect reasons for existence and creation.  We are not born perfect, we are born ignorant, and have to learn as we go.  We do not die perfect, we suffer faults and failures of action, mind and body.  It seems that this pursuit of perfection is out of our reach, and yet we try.  This world is Chaos, and perfection is a construct of the mind.

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Ever since this started I have had vivid, real time dreams that were very organized and often seemed scripted, and Ive realized that its entirely possible that we exist in many worlds, with different laws of reality.  Today I was dreaming and they descended upon me and started drilling into my brain and implanting things.  I think they are from the future, or possibly from another planet, probably both.

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You put up a sad emoji, it is sad, what Ive been through but trust me, I never thought Id be that guy that heard voices, or believed in aliens, or would go around telling people theres  a device implanted in me from the future.

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I dont need to 'trust you '  on that .   It can happen like that .  I recently posted this :

 

 

" ... one  woman was working in a garden when an unseen man addressed her. Another man described sudden loud noises and voices he heard while riding in a bus.. All patients describe voices as having the quality of a real voice, sometimes louder, sometimes softer, than normal voices. The experience they describe is quite unlike thoughts or fantasies. When things are seen they appear fully real. For instance a patient described being awakened one night by Air Force officers calling him to  service of his country. He got up and was dressing when he noticed their insignia wasn't quite right; then their faces altered. With this he knew they were of The Other Order and struck one hard in the face. He hit the wall and injured his hand. He could not distinguish them from reality until he noticed the insignia. Most patients soon realize that they are having experiences that others do not share, and for this reason learn to keep quiet about them. Many suffer insults,threats and attacks .... "

 

 

https://selfdefinition.org/hearing-voices/Wilson-Van-Dusen-The-Presence-of-Spirits-in-Madness.pdf

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Its difficult.  In observing the voices, I see how a lot of it works:  I have trained myself to imagine a personality with a history found in books that speaks to me in response to words I think, according to the theme or story that has developed over time.

 

This doesnt mean that something is actually happening to me that has some other worldly context, but really, it seems ridiculous that any sentient thing would bother with a lot of what I have imagined to be happening to me.  Im probably being used as entertainment, is what I figure.  Aside from that, there have been very real things too- like the drilling in my brain- that was no hallucination.  Either I exist elsewhere, or there is a device in me that they come and tinker with.  Also, I predicted a lot of things that came to pass, and this is difficult to understand and live with.  Thankfully the medicine I am on has been working, Ive learned to not take the voices seriously- though when new thoughts come about, or a strange dream- I cant help but ponder it, though with every passing day I am learning to ignore.  This takes a lot of effort and rest on my part.  

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I just decided that since none of this has ultimately been helpful to me, that regardless of where this might be happening; until I am in that place, I am labeling it all as fantasy, and ignoring it.

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6 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

 I am labeling it all as fantasy, and ignoring it.

 

The more you give it attention and believe it to be real, the more power it has over you.

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Its extremely hard to ignore.  I fall right into the pattern of listening, thinking, responding, reacting, mood changes.  I dont even see it happening until it overwhelms me and gets dark, and then it becomes painful.

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15 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

Its difficult.  In observing the voices, I see how a lot of it works:  I have trained myself to imagine a personality with a history found in books that speaks to me in response to words I think, according to the theme or story that has developed over time.

 

This doesnt mean that something is actually happening to me that has some other worldly context, but really, it seems ridiculous that any sentient thing would bother with a lot of what I have imagined to be happening to me.  Im probably being used as entertainment, is what I figure.  Aside from that, there have been very real things too- like the drilling in my brain- that was no hallucination.  Either I exist elsewhere, or there is a device in me that they come and tinker with.  Also, I predicted a lot of things that came to pass, and this is difficult to understand and live with.  Thankfully the medicine I am on has been working, Ive learned to not take the voices seriously- though when new thoughts come about, or a strange dream- I cant help but ponder it, though with every passing day I am learning to ignore.  This takes a lot of effort and rest on my part.  

 

Dont be put off by the word hallucination .    It has picked up wrong connotations ; basically its an experience a person swears is real .... that others cannot  witness .  This doesnt mean  the experience isnt 'real' .    IMO it makes little difference whether we use the word hallucination, possessed ,  demon,   fantasy, etc . They are tags for a process not many understand .    What is needed is to understand what is going on and treat the cause and not the symptom .

 

The link I gave you , if you read  it carefully offers  a   self  treatment and  a  solution .

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Thanks for that article.  I found a lot of similarities in myself and what was spoken of.  Thankfully, I am not tormented as some of those cases, though the experience itself is bad enough, I dont often get assaulted by my voices, or told evil things.

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The thing of it is, is that if I did have a vision of a Deity that thought it was all that there was, the very fact that I existed to meet Him would let Him know that Hes not all that there is.  That leads me to conclude that He meant He is everything that is.

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Interesting situation.....opening otherworldly perceptions, can be difficult, if there is no cultural framework for engaging with the spiritual ecosystem. Making these "events" part of the mundane is a helpful way to see them in the proper context. Spiritual neighbors reaching out and giving you a tap...not always helpful without proper paradigms. 

 

Not sure what triggered these luminous experiences.....but intelligences tend to reach out if there is a past relationship, contracts, your in there domain or your just making enough energetic noise to merit attention. Best of luck. 

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Ive decided that spirits like to play tricks.  They hardly say anything when they speak, and it usually has double meanings.  They dont answer you when you call, and they deceive you into believing contrary ideas to what is normally established as good.  Ive learned to abandon my hope in them, and call them demons now, though they were never too cruel in the sense of belittling or threatening, it was still a cruel experience what they did to me.

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Consider the following  ( and forgive me 'interfering' with your writing )   ;

 

Ive decided that many people  like to play tricks.  They hardly say anything (of substance ) when they speak, and it usually has double meanings.  They dont answer you when you call, and they deceive you into believing contrary ideas to what is normally established as good.  Ive learned to abandon my hope in them, and call them demons now, though they were never too cruel in the sense of belittling or threatening, it was still a cruel experience what they did to me.

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