liminal_luke

How do you stay close?

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

For me, one of the most difficult aspects of the pandemic is social distancing.  The public health messages about staying away from people outside our "households" may be protective of our physical health, but they come at a cost to our mental health.  (Assuming, for the moment that physical and mental health are separate animals, a dubious proposition.)  I´m feeling the strain.

 

So I´m wondering what innovative strategies my fellow Bums have used to strengthen interpersonal connections this last year, both with household members and loved ones farther afield.  The common thing seems to be videochatting.  Does this work for you?  I haven´t been much of a Zoomer myself.  One of my pals says that it counterproductively highlights the fact that people aren´t actually together, kind of a so-close-and-yet-so-far kinda thing.  

 

What have you been doing to nurture relationships lately?  How have you sustained the sense of social interconnectedness so essential to wellbeing?

Edited by liminal_luke
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

My neighbor and I get together weekly for a distanced jam session in his garage. Drums at one end, guitar amps at the other, the mic smells like disinfectant but I sing through a mask anyway. 

 

We're very careful, almost exaggerated in our precautions. We decided early on that if we two couldn't manage this, then nobody else could be expected to. There's a wood stove and a Labrador involved.  I bring my own pipe and coffee cup. It's not bad.

Edited by Sketch
  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

At my age and the age of most all of my friends phone calls are how we stay in touch.

That and the occasional gift dropped off personally, with a call from the phone upon delivery, and a wave from the vehicle.

Postcards are traded with the youngsters, who draw pictures as they learn to read my scrawl style.

 

I treasure my friends and family, and it is an effort to keep in touch.

But it so worth any effort!

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One thing I do that feels good is email back and forth with my mom daily.  We started years ago when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She´s long recovered now, but we found we liked it and never stopped.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We message back and forth among the family, and have occasional zoom meetings. 

I'm at an open mic on zoom with friends abroad now. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In my neck of the woods folks carry on their daily activities mostly like they always have. Maybe some elderly are left to their solitude, I find that sad.

The past couple of days I’ve been visiting with a few folks I barely knew; couple or three day sleepover. 
sometimes, living as if you were dying, is the remedy. No fear.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, zerostao said:

In my neck of the woods folks carry on their daily activities mostly like they always have. Maybe some elderly are left to their solitude, I find that sad.

The past couple of days I’ve been visiting with a few folks I barely knew; couple or three day sleepover. 
sometimes, living as if you were dying, is the remedy. No fear.

Enjoying a pot of coffee, the snowfall, and new camaraderie, this morning; live and in person.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@zerostao

 

I think enjoying a pot of coffee and snowfall sounds like a wonderful way of feeling connected -- with or without the company of actual other people.  I´m reminded of a podcast I listened to awhile back with Zapchen founder Julie Henderson.  When asked about lonliness or the desire to be around others, she mentioned petting her cat and leaning up against a tree.  The nonhuman natural world can be a potent source of connectedness.

 

As far as social distancing and all that goes, well, I really don´t know.  People have such varied opinions about the advisability and effectiveness of social distancing and masks.  I´m not one to dig into the scientific literature myself so I don´t have a scientifically informed opinion. But I don´t think that there´s such a thing as public health without taking into account our human need to be social.  Lonliness can kill as surely (if not as quickly) as any virus.

Edited by liminal_luke
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They say 400, 000  Americans have fallen to this virus. Millions worldwide.

loneliness does kill as you rightly point out @liminal_luke

at what point is life worth living or not? 
those that draw the line between loneliness and solitude, like our dear @Marblehead was able to do, those that can do that paid heavy dues and is a testament to their unconquerable spirit.

I am surrounded by more trees than there are stars in the skies, most of my neighbors literally chop wood and carry some water. I agree 100 about connectedness, cats, dogs, birds, all creatures are of great comfort to us and us to them when the trees line up. 
to a Daoist, I think, :blush: science can also be subjective. Subjective in that many possible outcomes exist and the daoist is able to navigate the dimensions skillfully 

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites