dwai

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29 minutes ago, Nungali said:

 

Did you see the thread on the grand conjunction on this years solstice ?  

 

Apparently the kings nakedness shall be revealed

 

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo  ! 

 

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trump-statue.jpg

 

 

 

 

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On 9/12/2020 at 5:19 AM, steve said:

I am doing well.

 

Spending a lot of time with family.

A blessing I never expected at this stage of life. Both adult kids back home, with their dogs. A second chance for me. I was a bit of an absent father at times, the source of some of my deepest regrets in life, and we’ve been through some terrible family traumas when the kids were young. Being all together is astonishing! I am so deeply grateful. I hope others can find this sort of silver lining in relation to the pandemic.

 

Returned to playing some music, which I’d gotten away from for a good while. One of those things I can sort of put at a distance, avoiding it if certain conditions aren’t met. Waiting for a good ‘fuck it!’ to get me in gear again, which has happened.

 

Getting a lot of satisfaction from my work. After 29 years, it’s still surprising at times but there’s an ease and a certainty that allows it to flow. The fear is not there much anymore, working in the Covid environment. People are a bit more appreciative than in the recent past and seem to see a healthier, more grounded perspective about the value of life and what’s worth sweating.

 

Being here is weird. I’ve felt like a pariah since beginning to moderate. I expected it from the last time but nothing prepares you for the abrupt change in one’s relationship to the community, mostly in a not-so-good way. Helping people with tech stuff, to the limited degree I’m capable, is satisfying. Feeling the frustration, and pent up anger, seeing all the long-standing baggage and feuding, the lack of empathy, patience, and support, all of it is disheartening. It certainly offers lots of negative energy for practice. 

 

The recent negativity from rene, while certainly understandable, was painful. I genuinely miss many of the folks who’ve gone and while I sometimes joke about the whole thing I mean them no harm, it’s mostly painful for me hence the poor attempt at humor. So many broken relationships over ideology, not to mention the horrific ideology itself and its consequences on vulnerable lives.

 

My practice has been a huge support and there are so many opportunities to study and practice with others online. The pandemic offers  such enormous potential for deepening one’s practice, whatever that may be, at so many levels. While I acknowledge all of the pain it has brought, I am deeply grateful for its lessons.

 

I really appreciate you starting this thread dwai. You’re a good dude. Here’s to coming together as a community and helping one another through tough times.

 

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

 

 

 

Steve, we hammered things out both on the public moderation thread and privately, so as far as I'm concerned, next week is a new start and everything I hope will finally be behind us all now that just about everything I can say about my grievances has been aired. 

 

Moving forward, I can certainly help out with suggestions for improvement, so tomorrow is another day and the hatchet has been buried. 

 

Let's just hope that the rest of the forum, past and present, and future, all can find something that works.

 

This isn't splashing watercolors or oil paints delicately on a canvas, this is playing with clay in a workshop: sometimes it's too cold and hard, other times it needs to be held for a little while to develop better malleability from some warmth, then you can play--but you'll always need to allow for a little mess here and there until you get comfortable, familiar, and inspired.

Edited by Earl Grey
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As far as the original question, bit of a transition time for me. Gave up external martial arts finally about a month back, with a view to focusing solely on internal arts. Its been more than 20 years of near enough daily practice of forms or heavy bag training, so it feels really weird. But I'm in my late 30s and my joints are already starting to wear out, so thought I probably need to take better care of myself. 

 

Outside of practice, in the process of buying a house, setting down roots in the UK. Its a scarily huge investment, and I'm definitely a bit more flatulent than usual. 

 

Finally, after balding and greying for so long, I finally decided to embrace it and shave my head. 

 

These three things tell me I'm on the verge of becoming an adult. Don't hold your breath though, fellow bums. 

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This is an odd time. This year, the world has been literally on fire. The sun is dimmed from the smoke, all the way to Eastern Colorado. There is a pandemic. There was a hurricane in the middle of the United States. Hurricanes are more frequent and intense. We are in a post-factual world, titling toward fascism. Guns and ammo are sold out. People believe a satanic cult is running the world because of internet posts on 8chan. Politicians are robbing from the poor to give to the rich. When I was in high school reading Animal Farm, I thought "At least this could never happen in this day and age." Wow, was I ever wrong. 

 

Despite all of this, I feel fine (even though I feel a lot of sympathetic suffering). Part of it is due to a combination of good choices, good luck and undeserved privilege. A large part of it is due to practice. I thoroughly recommend strong spiritual convictions, of any kind. Living without them seems heartbreaking. 

 

I think a lot of Victor Frankl here: “Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.”

 

 

 

 

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