BKA's guide on how to pickup women.... and lizard people

[BaguaKicksAss]

That's because, in this instance, most of them "got it."

 

If you talk to your buddies in the football team locker room about how to handle this girl you like, it's fairly reasonable you already have had girls approach you/had sex with you. It's fairly reasonable your friends are the same. That you all have lots of male/female friends.

 

However, when you have a guy who's been in computer science school all his life, graduates at 22, never kissed a girl, never dated, never hangs out with girls, suddenly... how does he approach women? Why isn't he as good with women as other guys?

 

That necessarily begs a bit more analysis and yes, "restructure," than the guys who already have most of the ingredients.

 

How is this any different from any other life change? (dieting more, smoking less, drinking less, exercising more, drinking more green tea, going to sleep earlier, etc, even if you don't really "feel like it".

 

Coding is sexy!

[bax44]

I love the stereotypes against mathletes and computer scientists. Lol as if these types of guys are automatically socially inept w women. High school mentality much?

[BaguaKicksAss]

Actually, out of all the guys I know (lots since I practice martial arts), the one who actually gets the most dates codes well enough that he has written his own (and used by others) programming language, heh.

 

I think in today's time the whole mathlete and computer geek thing isn't as strong, but when I went to school it really was .

[bax44]

Oh and not admitting you are into "Larp" or whatever early on with a girl is actually nothing but supplication. You are automatically putting this person on a pedestal and thinking your passions aren't good enough... Again, this goes back to the insecurity, the not feeling good enough. The total opposite of "alpha".. Pretty much you are implying if you were into this you'd be ashamed of it, even though it's a huge part of your life, as opposed to not truly caring if she approved or not and admitting it with confidence. Seems that's much more attractive than hiding something that's important to yourself in the hopes of attracting someone. Not cool IMO.

[Sloppy Zhang]

Hold on, how did we get from acting really mean to people to get some, over to fluffing up one's resume and leaving torrid geek interests out when meeting?

 

We never moved

 

For me, the issue is (was?) about changing behavior, in ANY way, in your interactions with people.

 

Personally, I don't believe "acting like a douchebag" to a girl (not necessarily "acting really mean") is what people should do. Does it work? Hell yeah.

 

However, that's not fundamentally different than "acting more confident" around women to get them to "like you."

 

Or "acting more flirty".

 

There seems to be this view that "oh you should just be yourself and you'll find people." But why would you think that would work in a romantic interaction when all other human interaction is marked by modulations of behavior according to circumstance?

 

Anything short of that is "playing games" or "being dishonest," according to some folks around here.

 

Which is puzzling, because there appears to be no issue with modulating behavior in another other circumstance

[C T]

I'll just throw a Brahmin priest a few bucks, and let him do all the work.

[Sloppy Zhang]

I love the stereotypes against mathletes and computer scientists. Lol as if these types of guys are automatically socially inept w women. High school mentality much?

 

Of course there are exceptions. But really...

 

I work in a tech company.

 

All the sales/marketing people (with sports history or other history with women) no problems going out, having fun, getting laid, or being in long term relationships.

 

Engineers/programmers? Predominantly single, no history of approaching/dating women. Socially awkward. A few of them are high energy and can get lots of dates- and then get friendzoned within weeks or it just doesn't "work out."

 

Same in college.

 

Same in high school.

 

Call it a "stereotype" call it "immature" call it whatever you want.

 

I'm just callin it like I see it.

 

Oh and not admitting you are into "Larp" or whatever early on with a girl is actually nothing but supplication. You are automatically putting this person on a pedestal and thinking your passions aren't good enough... Again, this goes back to the insecurity, the not feeling good enough. The total opposite of "alpha".. Pretty much you are implying if you were into this you'd be ashamed of it, even though it's a huge part of your life, as opposed to not truly caring if she approved or not and admitting it with confidence. Seems that's much more attractive than hiding something that's important to yourself in the hopes of attracting someone. Not cool IMO.

 

I've only been skimming the thread, so I don't recall when/where this alpha/beta distinction came from...

 

Personally, I don't care what's alpha or beta. It's what works, and it's what the women like.

 

There are going to be exceptions and everyone is different and blah blah. Yeah, plenty of people find that special someone and settle down with them and that works.

 

But a lot more people don't. And I see it every day.

[BaguaKicksAss]

.

Edited January 12, 2014 by BaguaKicksAss

[bax44]

So you think that is a good thing.. Telling someone who has a passion about something, to have them be so ashamed of it they wouldn't admit it to some girl? You don't see how this is supplication to the fullest? Pretty pathetic. How do you know it wouldn't "work"? Is it not more attractive to have a passion and be proud of it. Women love that. What they don't love is the lack of confidence to admit it. I can't imagine hanging w a women and being afraid to admit I do meditation or qigong. Or love comic books. If she doesn't like it, too bad. As for your other comments about tech guys, etc, once again you make sweeping generalizations. And I'm amazed you manage to observe the dating lives of all these types of guys., And know the exact time frame they get friend zoned or whatever. Interesting.

[Sloppy Zhang]

Question intent, both in yourself and in others.

 

Yes, the nature of a "spectrum" is such that granular distinctions are arbitrary, but the distinction between red & blue is quite apparent to the normal human eye.

 

Buying a girl a drink because you'd like to talk to her and slipping a roofie in that drink are NOT the same fundamental action, are they? In part, this thread is (or quickly morphed into) one of both integrity and free-will. One should strive to respect both one's self and others, always.

 

I'd say that they are. Both of them are manipulating the situation to get what you want.

 

One of them is "okay" and one of them is "not okay."

 

Should we tell people to stop buying girls drinks because it's exploitative of the situation and not genuine? She should want to talk to you regardless of whether you come bearing gifts. If not, she's not worth your time.

 

Or so I can imagine that argument.

 

Moving the goalposts closer and closer until they seem to blur and then claiming there are no real goalposts is the wrong approach. Instead, if the distinction isn't clear, nudge the goalposts farther apart until the distinction becomes clear and then use your best judgment to determine where the behavior in question lies. Yes, it is a judgment call but it is not a meaningless one.

 

I think it's exactly the right approach and it blows up the whole damn spectrum.

 

Obviously it's a judgment call, and I don't disagree that it is not a meaningless one (meaning I agree it's an important call to make )

 

What I disagree with is people condemning one action while lauding another and claiming they are two separate things, when they are both on the same spectrum.

[bax44]

Here's some interesting stuff I've had to ponder when dating before....

 

For a few years my health was bad enough that I could not do normal activities (long hikes for eg), and would likely die young. No one at all could tell by merely looking at me or hanging around with me though.

 

Which date number do I mention that on? I found out that mentioning it on dates #1 or #2 didn't go in my favor lol. Anyways, they lost out, they didn't know how well Bagua works :>.

 

Or... OK so I've had my tubes tied (after 2 wonderful now fully grown kids)... something I would mention on date number what? I used to think never, what's the big deal? Until I had 2 guys lose interest due to this one fact alone!!!

 

Or... tried a few drugs, was fun, don't do them now though . In my country, this wouldn't even need to be mentioned, but in the USA, apparently some people actually get wierded out by such things!

 

And the magic stuff, or in other people's cases the qigong stuff... what date number is this mentioned? Personally I find it to be a very good weeding out thing, heh.

 

Or if you and your ex haven't officially gotten the divorce paperwork done yet? Mention this on date # what?

 

You are between jobs and on unemployement insurance.. what date # do you mention this?

 

Have a warrrent out for your arrest in 3 different states, which date # do you mention this?

 

PS if you are an alcoholic, just mention it on the first date will ya, otherwise she'll realize anyways by date #2 or 3 anyways .

Well really some of it isnt important if its in your past..Like Ive been in jail before, its not something I bring up or mention unless its brought up. Even that I really dont care if they know because its way in the past. Same with things like drug use, etc etc, if thats not who you are anymore then why mention it?but things like being recently divorced, having kids, etc is pretty important to tell someone(if you are thinking of dating them)... Obviously for short term ons or whatever its a lil different. But the qigong, magic stuff, thats a part of who you are, why would anyone keep that hidden? I disagree vehemontly with "sloppy zhang" about this, because it shows one lacks the confidence in what they love, and also isnt even giving the other person a chance to see if they would appreciate it or not. And as you said it can also weed people out... Why would I wanna be with someone whos ashamed of the things they love? and even if you didnt tell the person now theyd find out soon enough and theyd either be into it or they wouldnt.

Edited January 6, 2014 by bax44

[GreytoWhite]

Here's some interesting stuff I've had to ponder when dating before....

 

For a few years my health was bad enough that I could not do normal activities (long hikes for eg), and would likely die young. No one at all could tell by merely looking at me or hanging around with me though.

 

Which date number do I mention that on? I found out that mentioning it on dates #1 or #2 didn't go in my favor lol. Anyways, they lost out, they didn't know how well Bagua works :>.

 

Or... OK so I've had my tubes tied (after 2 wonderful now fully grown kids)... something I would mention on date number what? I used to think never, what's the big deal? Until I had 2 guys lose interest due to this one fact alone!!!

 

Or... tried a few drugs, was fun, don't do them now though . In my country, this wouldn't even need to be mentioned, but in the USA, apparently some people actually get wierded out by such things!

 

And the magic stuff, or in other people's cases the qigong stuff... what date number is this mentioned? Personally I find it to be a very good weeding out thing, heh.

 

Or if you and your ex haven't officially gotten the divorce paperwork done yet? Mention this on date # what?

 

You are between jobs and on unemployement insurance.. what date # do you mention this?

 

Have a warrrent out for your arrest in 3 different states, which date # do you mention this?

 

PS if you are an alcoholic, just mentio

Here's some interesting stuff I've had to ponder when dating before....

 

For a few years my health was bad enough that I could not do normal activities (long hikes for eg), and would likely die young. No one at all could tell by merely looking at me or hanging around with me though.

 

Which date number do I mention that on? I found out that mentioning it on dates #1 or #2 didn't go in my favor lol. Anyways, they lost out, they didn't know how well Bagua works :>.

 

Or... OK so I've had my tubes tied (after 2 wonderful now fully grown kids)... something I would mention on date number what? I used to think never, what's the big deal? Until I had 2 guys lose interest due to this one fact alone!!!

 

Or... tried a few drugs, was fun, don't do them now though . In my country, this wouldn't even need to be mentioned, but in the USA, apparently some people actually get wierded out by such things!

 

And the magic stuff, or in other people's cases the qigong stuff... what date number is this mentioned? Personally I find it to be a very good weeding out thing, heh.

 

Or if you and your ex haven't officially gotten the divorce paperwork done yet? Mention this on date # what?

 

You are between jobs and on unemployement insurance.. what date # do you mention this?

 

Have a warrrent out for your arrest in 3 different states, which date # do you mention this?

 

PS if you are an alcoholic, just mention it on the first date will ya, otherwise she'll realize anyways by date #2 or 3 anyways .

 

My teacher told me after some troubles in life not to speak of my qigong or magickal practices unless someone expressed interest in them or asked a direct question. As to being disabled, being an enjoyer of psychedelics and medical marijuana, not driving, or not currently employed I put those things directly into my profile so that anyone those issues may be a deterrent to getting a date with is automatically filtered. It's amazing how few people actually read a profile on the dating sites and judge solely on pictures.

Edited January 6, 2014 by MithShrike

[Sloppy Zhang]

So you think that is a good thing.. Telling someone who has a passion about something, to have them be so ashamed of it they wouldn't admit it to some girl? You don't see how this is supplication to the fullest? Pretty pathetic. How do you know it wouldn't "work"? Is it not more attractive to have a passion and be proud of it. Women love that. What they don't love is the lack of confidence to admit it. I can't imagine hanging w a women and being afraid to admit I do meditation or qigong. Or love comic books. If she doesn't like it, too bad. As for your other comments about tech guys, etc, once again you make sweeping generalizations.

 

Wow man, talk about reframing something to suit your own opinion

 

Call it what you want man. You can call it "putting your best foot forward" or you can call it "being ashamed of the foot you don't want other people to see."

 

Same act, different perspective.

 

And I'm amazed you manage to observe the dating lives of all these types of guys., And know the exact time frame they get friend zoned or whatever. Interesting.

 

I have a lot of friends. And they talk to me about their girl problems. Because I'm one of the few tech guys who doesn't seem to have any problems getting into/maintaining relationships with women!

[bax44]

Wow man, talk about reframing something to suit your own opinion

 

Call it what you want man. You can call it "putting your best foot forward" or you can call it "being ashamed of the foot you don't want other people to see."

How is it putting your best foot forward if you have something you love yet you are not wanting to admit it to some girl? Why?Why do you think ANY girl is important enough at first glance to even care about wether they like it or not? THis sounds like classic putting the ***** on the pedestal type thing. Lol I apologize im really trying to wrap my mind around this concept. Like obviously if you are a recovering drug addict or something and dont want to tell thats one thing, but to not admit something you really are into for fear the other person will reject it? That seems to go against even the most cynical PUA/dating type of advice Ive seen.

Same act, different perspective.

 

 

I have a lot of friends. And they talk to me about their girl problems. Because I'm one of the few tech guys who doesn't seem to have any problems getting into/maintaining relationships with women!

Fair enough. Still say you are somewhat projecting your experience onto a rather large population of Tech geeks

Edited January 6, 2014 by bax44

[bax44]

My teacher told me after some troubles in life not to speak of my qigong or magickal practices unless someone expressed interest in them or asked a direct question. As to being disabled, being an enjoyer of psychedelics and medical marijuana, not driving, or not currently employed I put those things directly into my profile so that anyone those issues may be a deterrent to getting a date with is automatically filtered. It's amazing how few people actually read a profile on the dating sites and judge solely on pictures.

Very true. Online dating is a whole other animal all together lol.

[Brian]

The assertion that offering to buy someone a drink and raping them have some equivalence is disturbing

 

[RongzomFan]

Date the (legal age) sisters of your friends.

 

Easiest way to pick up women.

[Sloppy Zhang]

The assertion that offering to buy someone a drink and raping them have some equivalence is disturbing

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reductio_ad_absurdum

 

^how most people in this thread have responded to all of my posts

[BaguaKicksAss]

My teacher told me after some troubles in life not to speak of my qigong or magickal practices unless someone expressed interest in them or asked a direct question. As to being disabled, being an enjoyer of psychedelics and medical marijuana, not driving, or not currently employed I put those things directly into my profile so that anyone those issues may be a deterrent to getting a date with is automatically filtered. It's amazing how few people actually read a profile on the dating sites and judge solely on pictures.

 

Not tell people one's main passions? Screw that . Well for me anyways. Did you know that some women do searches under interest for things like "qigong" and "magic" .

 

*deleted online dating rant*

[C T]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reductio_ad_absurdum

 

^how most people in this thread have responded to all of my posts

Hm, Brian was being unfair/unkind with that statement he made, because what he said was 'slipping roofies', which is 'premeditation', entirely different from actual rape.

[C T]

Date the (legal age) sisters of your friends.

 

Easiest way to pick up women.

Easiest way to end friendships too, in some cases.

[BaguaKicksAss]

So thought I'd play the devil's advocate here (since this thread already seems destined for a certain place within a few pages)

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybristophilia

 

Though this fortunately isn't a majority of the population by any means.

[Sloppy Zhang]

Hm, Brian was being unfair/unkind with that statement he made, because what he said was 'slipping roofies', which is 'premeditation', entirely different from actual rape.

 

Worse, it's intellectually lazy, especially when I provided clear reasons for saying what I said.

 

Instead, it's taken out of context and presented in a completely different context to create a meaning other than the intended one.

 

[edit]

 

Then, after presenting the false argument, they argue against it! So no one is really arguing with Sloppy Zhang... they are arguing with their mental projection of Sloppy Zhang...[/edit]

 

It's not just Brian. It's almost everyone else in the thread.

 

It's not even infuriating. It's just sad and depressing.

Edited January 6, 2014 by Sloppy Zhang

[RongzomFan]

Easiest way to end friendships too, in some cases.

 

You don't tell the friend.

[Sloppy Zhang]

So thought I'd play the devil's advocate here (since this thread already seems destined for a certain place within a few pages)

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybristophilia

 

Though this fortunately isn't a majority of the population by any means.

 

Sub clinical hybristophilia?