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Ian, November 25, 2005 in General Discussion
Don't know why I write it, as you won't read it...
I resonate much with what you say... but all the practices you mention are there for one reason: EXPERIENCE!!!
They are part of experiencing existence... part of experiencing what is there. If there is anything at all life is good for it is EXPERIENCE, EXPERIENCE, EXPERIENCE
take my word for it
Beautifully spoken, Ian.
Really cool post Ian. I like how you quote Bill Hicks, I'm a big fan. And I really like how you talk about making love outside of physical sex. That is a wonderful concept. Of course I disagree with the part about techniques being "male mind stuff" and poor physical woman just wanting love as I know plenty of horribly overanalytical, stuck-in-their-monkey-mind women and also very earthy, very grounded, very sensitive men, but hey, I live in the Bay Area (read: alien cocoon), where many generalizations about gender, race, religion, age, etc. breakdown in really funny ways, it's a hoot as Bill Hicks would say. I'm glad you mentioned Barry Long again. I finally remembered why his name rang a bell, I read an interview with him several years ago in "What is Enlightenment" magazine that touched me and I intended to check out his works but obviously spaced it. Could you recommend an entry point into his work? Making Love seems interesting. Lezlie and I are very passionate about this type of work, opening our relationship to radical honesty despite the growing pains involved. We've very much enjoyed working with the Hendrick's Conscious Loving and Conscious Heart and also Wendy-O-Matik (who is awesome and lives near us in Oakland) Redefining Our Relationships which is a really great book on polyamory. This Barry Long stuff seems like it's on the "next level" though.
Well spoken Ian. I don't think you are stepping one anyone's toes.
First of all, I can't remember where, but I can vaguely remeber a post I wrote som time ago relating to the same issues. Basically, I said some of the same things.
What we both seem to agree on is this:
Love is listening, and has nothing to do with physical techniques, retention, etc.
When you align with what is, either in yourself, or your partner, you make love.
Balance is created, energies are exchanged, effortlessly. There is really no need to worry about loss if you learn how to listen to yourself, and tune into your partner.
We live in a time where there is so much wanting. Sex is one of the worst mine fields, because it connects us with our deepest needs. Instead of achieving, we should be focused on giving. Physical pleasure is very limited compared to being truly intimate with someone.
I think it all boils down to opening the heart, and listen.
PS. I didn't go to Henley btw. Couldn't afford it. I'll drop you a line when I'm going over there next time!