Yonkon

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About Yonkon

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  1. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    To be honest I already got that, i'm a music fanatic and love writing songs and producing music. But lately the purpose of all behind is lacking. Sure it feels nice and is fun, but sometimes it feels kind of meaningless. Sometimes i think it's even something like masturbation, i just do it to pleasure myself. Of course there is nothing wrong with that per se, but i want to create music with a real purpose. To really help people and give something back.. So i want to slowly make a shift to contribution, away from soley self pleasure. And it's kind of hard and scary because my sense of meaning and purpose is radically shifting... but it seems to me that this is the path i have to walk.. I will figure it out.
  2. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    Now i'm intrigued. When i could only start with only one and add the second later, with wich practices should i beginn?
  3. Trying to solve inner problems through outer change is never a good idea. Besides that i hear from friends that sex change seriously helped other people get their life together. Their was this school teacher who was very violently and angry, after the change he was a chill dude who could talk openly about his feelings.. So it's not that easy.
  4. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    The Thread is dying so i wanted to thank you to all who contributed so far, you guys really helped me out Have a nice one
  5. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    Aikido sounds great! Will check it out. Maybe i try out Qui Qong/Tai Chi as well.
  6. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    indeed, i can do krav maga here. But I'm looking for a more "flowing" practice, becoming like water, stuff like that...
  7. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    I want to do martial arts since i was a little boy, i think the time has finally come. Here is whats possible for me based on my location: Judo Ju-Jutsu Brasilian Ju-Jutsu Tai Jitsu Karate Kung-Fu Wing Chun Qi-Qong Aikido Taekwondo Fencing This is pretty overwhelming. What would be the most "good" one? And is there another style that isn't on the list but is still worth checking out?
  8. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    I'm currently reading "Thick Face, Black Heart" by Chin-Ning Chu and the passage that i read this morning striked me as fitting: "As William Shakespeare said in Hamlet, "I must be cruel, only to be kind." You should never stop exercising your compassion. Have love in your heart, but be smart and express your compassion with restraint and detachment. At times, we wish to reward others with an abundance beyond their possible expectations, so we share our resources with the needy beyond our reasonable capacity. .... Through experience, we see our compassionate generosity often abused. It seems to some, the more you give, the more you should give. These people act as if you owe them. Out of your desire to be kind, you expose yourself without a protective shield. Compassion is a state of mind, not a blind competition over how much you can do for others. Often, in order to be kind, we have to control our desire to do too much. Along the same lines, good parents learn the importance of controlling their urge to overly indulge and pamper their children. They know that they must be cruel, only to be kind." As i write this down i realize how much this applies to my situation..
  9. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    man, i don't want to be a wet noodle anymore. I see that i'm the enabler, and frankly i'm sick of it myself. Time to confront some demons. The decision is made. I drag a lot of shame with me, thus i'm very easily manipulated through guilt and shaming. (maybe that's why @Stosh called me a wet noodle ) It's quite shocking when i think about it. This is the pattern i have to stop.
  10. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    My gf bought the war of art, maybe i will give it a go This is a radical advice. I have the feeling that if i would immediately confront the root issue, it would completely knock me down and crush me. This fear is probably only a smoke screen, but yet again, it feels so real that it freezes me.
  11. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    I often thought about this dynamic. He got his pain from his uprising and so on. I imagine it like a wave that travels forward in time, uninterrupted till someone shines awareness on this occurrence and ends the cycle. I have this big question, where did the wave come from? Where do i get when i travel all the way back to the beginning of the wave? I call this the "Urschmerz" or primal pain. The big bang of suffering that now wanders outwards and creates all kinds of ripples. Maybe this is what the story of adam and eve is all about?
  12. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    Can you tell me how i can bring myself to act while being frozen with fear? I feel like the right action can not be forced, but how do i get there? Thanks for the help.
  13. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    Yes, i had a short tempered dad. I worked a lot to get over the trauma, and now we can talk more or less respectfully with each other. But the relationship is still tense.
  14. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    Some mental gyrations can help to act, don't you think? But it can and will become quickly to a to form of distraction, so you are right.
  15. I feel stuck, purposeless and confused

    I started to work with the book "how to forgive when you can't" by Dincalci. It's a powerful book with great exercises, mainly writing letters from your perspective and the perspective from the one you want to forgive. I highly recommend it to anyone who is open to the idea of forgivene It is so easy to forget! That's why it's so important. Thanks for the reminder.