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About Yonkon

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  1. Reaching Deep Relaxation

    Very interesting. Is there a way to understand such "synchronicitys" in a conceptual way? For a long time i was very skeptic about everything spiritual, so a younger part of me screams "bs, the only way to find a teacher is by looking for someone, nothing will happen on it's own." Although i have, to the most part, outgrown this view there are still doubts.
  2. Reaching Deep Relaxation

    Interesting. But how i find such a teacher/being? I live in a small town, i highly doubt anyone can help me here. (Although i don't know for sure)
  3. Reaching Deep Relaxation

    I tried this last night and i liked it even more than the one posted before you. I drifted away after the body scan, but came right back for the breathing technique. At some point i got some sort of unsettling anxiety, especially while the "go deep, deep between the empty space between your breasts. Feel the emptiness." I felt very still, and my mind drifted slowly deeper into the emptiness but then i stopped, i was too scared. After the session i contemplated my death, i don't do that often, it just happened. The relaxation was very intense, but not how i imagined it. When i think of relaxation, i feel warm. The feeling doing the practice was cold, still pleasant but very empty. There was no love, or i didn't recognized it, that scared me i think. My Question is: Can i screw myself up when i go too deep into the emptiness, in to the stillness? I'm scared that after going too deep i'm a psychological wreck, nihilistic and suicidal. Can that happen?
  4. Reaching Deep Relaxation

    I am doing something similar: I take my guitar, play 2 chords on and on, and then i am singing stuff like " i am totally relaxed, oh baby yeah" while imagining my absolute over the top relaxation fantasy. I call it music magick, i think it motivated me to write this post.
  5. Reaching Deep Relaxation

    I tried it last night, very relaxing. I'm already familiar with the body scan technique but the guiding was exceptional on this recording. I will use it more than once I tried this on also, sadly in the middle youtube started to play me an loud advertisement with energetic electronic music, i am not skilled enough to stay aware in this situation will try it this night, downloaded, with out capitalistic interruptions. Sounds very intresting, i think i am familiar with the feeling right after waking up. The thing is my alarm goes of and i have to move to put it out, waking up before the alarm, on my own is hard... Is there a work around?
  6. Reaching Deep Relaxation

    will try it out tonight, will report back - thanks Can you specify what you mean with passive approach? Google can't help me with this one.
  7. Reaching Deep Relaxation

    Thanks! Can i listen to it while laying in bed? Thank you as well, this clears things up. Can i follow basic youtube videos for qi qong or should i search for a better source?
  8. Reaching Deep Relaxation

    Feeling safe and protected is the only way, it seems to me, to just be as i am. When i feel safe, i don't have to pretend, protect, act, playing a role. I can allow myself just to exist, without anything in addition to pure existence itself. Right now i can't allow myself to do that. Because of fear. Fear of pain, failure, humiliation, death.
  9. Reaching Deep Relaxation

    My wish seems to connected to the longing for protection. When i'm relaxed, i imagine, i am not afraid, i am safe and no one can hurt me because everything will be alright. When i'm not relaxed, everything seems dangerous, everything can give me more stress, can hurt me, can break me.
  10. Dear Bums, through lucky circumstances i find myself in the possession of a lot of free time for the next half year. Besides a business project and developing my relationship, i want to work towards a goal that is dear to me: to feel relaxed, very deeply. A part of me tells me that it is quite selfish to pursue relaxation, it doesn't help anybody! But the other parts of me says that people will benefit and be positivly influenced by a calm and relaxed spirit. Also it feels nice! The second voice is louder by far so i make this post. The thing is i am a total noob. I know a tiny bit about standard meditation and almost nothing about more body oriented practices like hatha, qi qong and tai chi (by the way, whats the difference between tai chi and qi qong?) I don't know if it's even wise to "Pursue" a state of mind and body, i think it's an attachment itself to want relaxation but i don't know how to handle that. Basically, i am clueless. My Goal is to deeply sink in to my body, like when i was a child and listened to music or relaxed in the sun. I am 21 year old, and everything feels like a rush. When i read a book i think of the next one to buy while still reading the introduction. When i walk the dog i hurry. When i eat i devour. Maybe you can relate? I am lost. Should i ground myself in breathing? Should i "just let go"? Should i do hatha yoga, qi qung, tai chi or another one of the thousand exercises out there? Should i focus on family, on relationships? Read more books? Exercise more? Exercise less? Find the root cause? Stop Overthinking? Maybe some of you can guide me, or give me subtle pointers to the road i want to travel. I would be thankful for everything. Cheers PS: I want to go there
  11. I want to start with Hatha Yoga, but i am overwhelmed. I don't know where to start, where to find quality information and what is really needed and what is bs. My Main Goal is to relax my body to the deepest possible level, is hatha yoga even the right practice for that? I thought that on this forum there are some people who know this kind of stuff so every help is appreciated. And happy new year by the way
  12. @steve I also had my experience with cannabis, for me it developed very fast to an addiction. One day I decided to throw all weed in to the thrash and that's it. The Problem with weed is that you just get attached so fast. It's a lot harder to get addicted to psychedelics like shrooms or lsd, although of course possible. From my first Shroom Trip i got the motivation to visit a theraphist, While i was on LSD i found my Life Purpose. So for me it really helped me out. I hope you pull through, i wish you very well.
  13. @steve Thank you! Believe it or not, your post is very valuable to me. I like your idea that progress should be measured in depth, not in time. I noticed that my meditation became stale and forced, i thought that i just have to meditate longer to fix that but your explanation is so much more fitting and makes more sense to me. I will stop to force my way to peace with strong determination, i resonated with your post. But i have to disagree with you on the whole "Drugs can't bring you new insights" thing. Maybe the insights are already there, but i wasn't aware of them. The Micro-Dose (and Trips) made me aware of them, "pulled them out of my unconsciousness" i could say. But i have to think about it some more. Maybe Drugs are really just for entertainment, but i can't shake the feeling that they are valuable tools if used wisely. I noticed that here on this forum there is a wide range of opinions on that matter. Very interesting, hopefully one day i will know the truth @Otis I just had to google what local Y meant, but now i know. Seems like a very good reason to me to belong to the local y. For me the best thing isn't the sauna, but the cooling pool afterwards. The contrast really makes a Difference, maybe you can shower for a while with ice cold water after the sauna. I highly recommend it.
  14. @Miffymog I definitly can see that this "Experience Chasing" is a dead end in it's own. so you're saying that it's more worthwhile to steadily and progressivly heighten your well beeing thourgh body practices? I think that sounds like a more grounded approach than chasing the next mindfuck Currently i am trying to get into hatha yoga, hopefully this will help me to let go of my experience craving.
  15. Through random circumstances i ended up in a wellness resort with less than a half tab of 1P-LSD. The Plan: Combine strong determination sitting with the hot sauna and the ice cold pool afterwards while under the influence of lsd to reach a deep level of relaxation. I tried s.d.s. meditation before, so i knew it it could be a pain in the ass if you do it for longer than 1 hour. What I experienced in the sauna while sitting and focusing entirely on my body was a deep pain. Especially in the Stomach and in the Throat. After 15 Minutes i felt something like a pulsating cramp inside of my stomach, probably synced to my heartbeat. My whole body burned and i had thoughts like: - "this is self harm" - "this is enough, i reached my goal" - "this is boring and useless" - "people going to notice that you are doing weird stuff" I let them pass and stayed in the sauna for another 10 or so Minutes before i had to leave. Slowly i walked through the garden that connected the sauna with the ice cold pool. The garden had a very Utopian feel it, very peacefull and positive. When i sunk my body in to the water, time froze. Everything was incredible still. Through the extreme contrast of hot and cold, my body awareness exploded when i entered the water. This lead to the ability to completely and immediately relax my body to a astonishing deep level. At that pointed it seemed to me that my awareness of time was deeply connected to my body awareness/relaxation. Slowly i moved through the water, like a giant on the moon. I practiced the Tadasana Pose and relaxed even deeper. Every Breath was like a full length movie, really crazy stuff. I stayed in the Sauna Resort for more than 5 Hours and repeated the process very often. At the end of the day i was very exhausted, but felt very good and deeply relaxed. Sadly this lasted not longer than 2 days but i gained some insights: - sitting for a very long time without moving while applying awareness to all uprising sensations is very curative and transforming - microdosing can be fun - My sense of time is somehow connected to the state of my body In the future i want to reach these kind of states without drugs and without a sauna. I don't know how, so every help is appreciated. Also i want to slowly upgrade my daily meditation practice to 2 hours strong determination. Currently i am at 30 min. Do you got any similar experiences to share? What is your opinion on Microdosing, Drugs and Strong Determination Sitting? Also i am interested in understanding my experiences in a broader spiritual context, what was i really experiencing? Thanks for reading, i am grateful for every new perspective.