Feeling disillusioned.

[helpfuldemon]

20 years ago I started experiencing phenomenal things, supernatural thing, impossible things.  I witnessed these, and began to believe in magic.  I started thinking about God again, and powers of supernatural strength.  I practiced a lot of different things to try and harness it, but it always failed to come through.  I studied philosophy and mysticism, and thought long and hard on life, love, freedom and Law.  

 

I've come to the conclusion that nothing is permanent and that no matter what the Wisdom is, someone out there will do it differently. There is no absolutes.  I've decided that God represents Free Will above anything else, that God is free and so are we, and we do what we will.  The questions of an after life, where God is, what God does, what God wants, what powers we possess; are still unanswered after all this time.  I have given up trying to declare these.  

 

In my pursuit of God and the supernatural I became proud, and the prouder I got, the more of a  toy I became.  I think God likes the humble person over the proud, and uses the proud to delight in Gods whims.  

 

So now I am humble.  I thank God for mercy, for God does not have to be merciful.  I pray to God for the safety of the human race, and I decry our condition and our vulnerabilities.  I do not adhere to any religion and I think that most of them, while good at refining Wisdom, fail at defining God and life.