helpfuldemon

Talk to me about your heart

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36 minutes ago, helpfuldemon said:

 

I have experienced a broad selection of mental illness.  This illness has been both psychological, intellectual, and physical.  The pain I have felt has been of all three spectrum's, and as of the past two months I have been in none of them, except for the pushing of my Will to learn more, which is somewhat of a discomfort, but I dont call that pain, I call it work.  

 

Yes I want to get out of this illness but its not something I have control over, though I am learning to adjust to it so that I can try to live a stable life.  A happy life?  I dont know if that is possible right now.  I am content (mostly), if that matters, but I wouldnt say I am happy.  How can I find happiness when everything is ruined?  I also find no pleasure or joy.  The only times I laugh is when I think about how sick and demented this illness has made me. I'm getting better though.  Time truly heals wounds, and if youre allowed the time to heal, you will slowly forget.

 

I learn a lot from your posts. Thank you for sharing. 

 

If you haven't experienced any of it for 2 months, then keep going. i wish only the best.

 

Also, if you think you're not divinely guided, just look at the time created your thread.

Edited by welkin
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7 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

I have experienced a broad selection of mental illness.  This illness has been both psychological, intellectual, and physical.  The pain I have felt has been of all three spectrum's, and as of the past two months I have been in none of them, except for the pushing of my Will to learn more, which is somewhat of a discomfort, but I dont call that pain, I call it work.  

 

Don't worry, this too will pass.

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31 minutes ago, welkin said:

 

I learn a lot from your posts. Thank you for sharing. 

 

If you haven't experienced any of it for 2 months, then keep going. i wish only the best.

 

Also, if you think you're not divinely guided, just look at the time created your thread.

 

I am grateful that you get something out of my posts.  Ive learned a lot about life, but through all of this suffering Ive learned lessons that are more important than what I know now.  Ive learned to respect your youth (if thats possible) respect your beauty (youll be ugly soon enough) respect your power and opportunity and resources, like your health and fitness, and ability to learn and be employed.  These things we take for granted, and often complain about, but when they are gone, things get really difficult (though not impossible to adjust to)

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1 hour ago, helpfuldemon said:

 

I am grateful that you get something out of my posts.  Ive learned a lot about life, but through all of this suffering Ive learned lessons that are more important than what I know now.  Ive learned to respect your youth (if thats possible) respect your beauty (youll be ugly soon enough) respect your power and opportunity and resources, like your health and fitness, and ability to learn and be employed.  These things we take for granted, and often complain about, but when they are gone, things get really difficult (though not impossible to adjust to)

 

Keep unwrapping. You haven't realized that whomever it is you were is meant to die, but you're still holding on. You're not what you had. You're way way more than that. trust me. Let it die, and you will regain that which you thought you lost in much better ways you didn't think before.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thanks, Im getting there.  Its been a long and difficult process.  The hallucinations only recently stopped, and sorting through those took a long time.  Im finding my strength and meaning, though I sort of like this apathy, its something to learn from.  I might laugh at it all one day, I dont know.  It seems to me that its really all we can do sometimes.  

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20 minutes ago, helpfuldemon said:

Thanks, Im getting there.  Its been a long and difficult process.  The hallucinations only recently stopped, and sorting through those took a long time.  Im finding my strength and meaning, though I sort of like this apathy, its something to learn from.  I might laugh at it all one day, I dont know.  It seems to me that its really all we can do sometimes.  

 

Great :)

 

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16 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

 

I have experienced a broad selection of mental illness.  

/... ... /

 

How can I find happiness when everything is ruined? 

You wrap up your sleeves, take a breath, and build anew. 

And with that background, find some support, it is easier to walk a trodden path than to make one on ones own. 

 

And walk slowly. 

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3 hours ago, Cleansox said:

You wrap up your sleeves, take a breath, and build anew. 

And with that background, find some support, it is easier to walk a trodden path than to make one on ones own. 

 

And walk slowly. 

 

My life bespeaks of the tenacity of the human spirit.  Ive fallen terribly ill many times.  Three times I have put on 80lbs, and three times I have taken it off.  Ive been down so low that I couldnt get out of bed many times, for months.  Its not so easy to do when the illness wont let go, but there have been times where I had freedom from it, and was able to rebuild.  I am currently in another phase of freedom, though the last time I went down, I said I can never go down again, because I am out of strength.  Well, I am getting stronger now, but I am not so anxious to rebuild, its very disheartening to have to pick yourself up from the depths of madness and regain health and wealth.  Im taking it slow, as you suggest, and Im no longer as ambitious to work on things, but that is because most of the work- if not all of it, is done.  Im at peace.  The best way to describe this peace is to say that we live in a naturally wild and powerful environment, and work towards forging a civilized reality for mankind, which is not yet perfect and may never be- though we must try, for our survival and longevity.

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