Proper communication to & attraction towards women: a spiritual dilemma...

[stefos]

Hi everyone,

 

I've never posted on this sub-forum.

I just wanted to know how you view the above issue. (See topic title)

 

Here's my background:

I happen to be a Christian who has received Guru yoga empowerment along with other Dzogchen empowerments and who has had some very uncommon experiences spiritually speaking which I believe are due to the reintegration of dissipated energy via different meditative practices.

 

In relating with the opposite sex, I don't desire to control or manipulate or use anyone.

I speak plainly, openly and honestly. I also have never taken advantage of someone when they were emotionally "down" or vulnerable.

 

So, Here's my situation/perception:

 

I don't drink alcohol, nor do I visit dance clubs at all. I also do not go to singles dances or strange things like that.

 

Where I live in the United States offers no real common ground for meeting singles, much much less spiritual singles.

 

I see a beautiful woman and I say "Wow, she's nice looking..beautiful" whatever the phrase might be. I don't approach her...ever.

 

I think that my perceptions both from a Christian & Dzogchen perspective are making me leery of getting involved with women due to the obvious fact that each spiritual path has certain injunctions, per se, revolving around worldview/perception (by itself) & morals (by itself) & the two's interconnection as well.

 

I also personally believe that my current financial situation is such that a great majority of women would not be attracted to someone who is not "mid career" or who isn't on the up & up insofar as a great financial position is concerned.

 

So, How does one who is spiritual (me that is) express an attraction to the opposite sex while maintaining one's moral beliefs?

 

In a world where relativism is growing more and more, I want to stand for that which is right and moral, considering women as I would myself.

 

Comments please!

They are appreciated.

 

stefos

Edited January 13, 2013 by stefos

[skydog]

Meetup.com perhaps you can find like minded women at spiritual kind of events..

[stefos]

Meetup.com perhaps you can find like minded women at spiritual kind of events..

 

You're right...Thank you!

 

Besides, eharmony.com is expensive and kind of removed also.

 

stefos

[Aetherous]

Christian mingle. Also, get to know people in a church you go to.

 

Christians as well as other types of spiritual people, I think, tend to have an extremely hard time in the typical dating scene.

[stefos]

Christian mingle. Also, get to know people in a church you go to.

 

Christians as well as other types of spiritual people, I think, tend to have an extremely hard time in the typical dating scene.

 

Hi turtle shell,

Thanks for responding.

 

Yes, I believe your right.

 

The issue is:

I want to make sure that I treat all women with dignity.

Not only that, but I'm sexual (heterosexual) & I desire to express that properly and not in sleeping around.

 

In the U.S., many people profess that they "I believe in God" however when pressed they are ignorant.

Furthermore, when I speak with people about Buddhism, they think either "Shaolin Temple" or "Dalai Lama" with no understanding behind the spreading of Buddhism into China & Tibet respectively nor do they care really (in a non malignant way.)

 

So, yes. There is a particular cost in being an actual follower of Jesus or of the Buddha when you have to live & walk it out.

 

Lastly, I notice a kind of blind spot when it comes to women in general that needs to be mindfully addressed:

With women, in my experience, very, very few will "love" a man if he isn't "established" or "has his stuff together," whatever that truly means! LOL Actually, it's understanable but it seems to be a deep rooted fear of not being able to live, etc. etc.

 

This doesn't mean that I'm not mindful of money and spending and food & clothing, etc. It means that I have to own my actions which include spending.

 

Let me illustrate maybe:

Ex.

Christians are suppose to work & trust God in everything, money included and not worry & fret to include the "career" and making lots of money.

Buddhists are supposed to understand the nature of Samsara, the nature of Dukkha, impermanence, and Annatta to include a "career" and making a lot of money.

 

The problem is properly understanding life, death & the meaning of it all...the "point" in other words. Keeping things in context.

If these ladies were interested in truly walking with me, in a committed relationship, then they would understand and live their Christianity or Buddhism while not pushing that I be like a non-Christian or a non-Buddhist.

 

stefos

[GreytoWhite]

Honestly mate I find it best if I don't discuss spirituality with women I'm attracted to unless they ask.

[Immortal4life]

 

 

I don't drink alcohol, nor do I visit dance clubs at all. I also do not go to singles dances or strange things like that.

 

Where I live in the United States offers no real common ground for meeting singles, much much less spiritual singles.

 

I see a beautiful woman and I say "Wow, she's nice looking..beautiful" whatever the phrase might be. I don't approach her...ever.

 

 

Hey man, that is actually very common. Most people don't know this, but getting a bit of anxiety or hesitation before approaching a woman is something that happens to almost all men that didn't lose their virginity before 14.

 

Most people don't realize either, that you can approach a girl almost anywhere. Remember, God helps those who help themselves -

 

 

It sounds like you might also be interested in longer term relationships

 

Edited January 22, 2013 by Immortal4life

[Immortal4life]

If a girl is interested in you, attracted to you, and believes you are an alpha male, you could be surprised by what she might try or might get interested in.