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i know im still hypnotized

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want to go back to normal,my normal true self, in my way of being, not

ways others think i should be, not perfect, but just me, not astral,

somehow it doesnt seem right, to create so much, for it to be that

easy, though in a way its true, and you have to use it, but still, its

not my plan, its the universal process, not mine




im not saying no imagination, far from it, but it just doesnt come

into the world in a controllable way... somehow theres a deeper wisdom

to that


either my brain is disintegrating or it really is hypnosis, lately everything just seems fake, in these wierd way, like its real, but its coming out of ur mind... its a strange feeling... the first time i really felt it i was at a church... it could even be real, but i just know its not, its not the place where my spirit naturally rests, where i usually naturally go to




its just like everything buzzing kind of, but in a computery way



feels like everything is a drug, but not in a good way, in like a

zoloft commercial way


then i look at the mountain

and i realize its not that they are my mind

its just they are so beautifully real its hard to believe

and i think about how the land value apparent went up

and now they are raising taxes

and its what ive been hearing about it

and it annoys me to hear land being spoken of in this way

of value and money, and constantly talking about money

i want it to stop

but we've gotta stop listening to politics so much and really sing

just play and love... and not worry about it

this is our universe, its not based on that

anything here is magic and wholesome

even if it comes from there because it was brought here

land can't be owned by anyone, its the classic anarchist dharma of

peaceful existence, even without the set roles, we can find our place,

even without trying to be polite, but just being kind, i wanna be like

a river, i want to be like i took ecstasy all the time... it seems

more like a shamanic traditional folk song, a song so deep it becomes

life, i play a role, we all play our roles, its so traditional, its

not really me, im not really a tradition, so looking closer theres no

one to play that role either, its just this guy whose come, and they

like me, and i think they are cool and kind but just.. its wierd.. its

something deeper..its beyond the words, and beyond the outward

manifestations of communication... something that like

because they are more than the traditions too, thats just the

archetypes living in us, thats the past, but we are different than

that, from any of those conceptions, what does it mean to be a

rainbow, i really can't quite explain... but its different... im

learning about a dharma.. its buddhist.. its like a buddhist

meditation retreat

best not to worry and just live, i get glimpses of it, the whole

thing, just living... just living, i just live here, simple, farm

person kind of.. or something..

at home coziness, unconditional love

no great goals, just peace... no more of the past, i am not that, i am

a new me, i am not from the past, i am just in the moment


and theres other consciousnesses and its all alive, the

consciousnesses commune and go alone and thats the truth, these are

the fairy cities, these are the rainbow, this is the underground, this

is the spirit world...


these are real shamans of that theres no doubt its a crazy place, i've

never lived where that was possible, but this is amazing its so good,

its just hard to believe its there, its different getting used to it,

and really getting the most of it, but i'll learn


so many shamans together so much good possible, we cast a spell

against the bullshit land thing last night... it was good.. nature is

strong.. SULOS!!




heres to prosperity for the enemies of the idea and existence of

selfish hurtful corporation in all their myriad ninja rainbow forms of

sacred magic



we have faith


wounded healer





sometimes the magic is there and sometimes its just like.. like a beat up car or something, but thats part of it i guess, its wabi sabi





its hard to bring it back meaningful n coherent from the chaos dissollution abyss but sometimes it does happen and that must be good, though its good to just to ramble of and be misunderstood

in spirit though, its the same.. not just looking clean or blah blah blah blah blah

my shamanism is rejected on forums and generally not presentable, and im glad.. this is the only low down enough tao place that would take me

yet our shamanism is the healing of WORLDS!! WORLDS!!



peace and love


i am NOT i repeat am **NOT** the grateful dead nor am i new age kitaro, nuff respect, but thats just not my style


still like some songs though, just for the sounds of it

Edited by eternalnoob

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I'd seriously consider seeing a psychiatrist. You may be suffering from delusions. I'm not a doctor so I wont make any diagnosis, but this could be serious and should be checked out with a medical professional.


As a hypnotist, let me just say that it would be highly unlikely, in my personal opinion and experience, that you would still be in a hypnotic state, the more likely answer is that something that has occurred recently may have caused you to start behaving the way you have. Again, see a doctor and get this checked out, especially if you feel depressed or have thoughts of harming yourself.




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