People Will Talk

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Just the title of this thread of yours caused me recall of past events here and the truth in the words "People will talk".


So much could be said. I will say nothing more.

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Why Is It So Important to Be Right?

Accepting being incorrect without any loss or embarrassment.

Published on March 7, 2011 by Mel Schwartz, L.C.S.W. Mphil in A Shift of Mind

{snip} This compulsion to be right sidetracks our lives and impedes our learning and happiness.

Why is it so vital to be right?

It's curious how mightily our thoughts and beliefs defend their territory. Why is it so vital to be right? Well to begin with, if you're not right, then you are indeed wrong, with all the accompanying sense of humiliation and failure. But is this a given? Does it have to be this way? Could we accept being incorrect without any loss or embarrassment?


I believe this fixation is more likely wed to highly competitive cultures than traditionally-oriented cooperative societies. In the latter, issues of right or wrong don't equivalently inform one's sense of self or identity. The ego may be shaped by other influences such as being honored, respected or altruistic. In first world cultures the drive to be right advances one in the competitive race. In the desire to get ahead this is utilized as a core value. I would actually suggest that this is a highly pervasive fixation attachment that ruins our relationships, derails our mindfulness and erodes our natural instinct to learn.

-Mel Schwartz


Edited by Mal Stainkey

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Anyway. I was pondering this today. What I think might happen is people don't actually want you to go "oh yeah, I'm wrong, I made a mistake". I pondered telling people they're right, but that also doesn't always go down too well. I don't know what they want, the people.

I think that sometimes they don't want me to say just "oh, you're right" but they also want me to say "I'm wrong" in way that means I thought they were right to begin with. But, well, I can't do that because it has to be in response to them telling me I'm wrong because otherwise we'd agree. Logic, or something.





Nice to see you!

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