good guys finish last

[Astral_Anima]

Yea I know, social status. Thats not what guys want.

 

it seems very superficial, tho especiallyy when it seems those at the top REally ARE the more brutal of men. You don't see buddhists being very popular. At least not in this society. It may depend on the society, but the USA is pretty dominant in the world, which sets the standards for what is popular and what isn't. So then a person just has to be cold, and the "I don't give a flying f*ck if good people are starving and dying, they can die all they want it's keeping me alive" type.

 

Yea they can "not care" but since there's so much brutality in this world it's more like "not giving a fuck" rather than "not being particularly concerned" type.

 

Haha, not quite whta i meant, I didn't mean sociopathic or apathetic, just like...not alot of stuff bothers them. It's basically just remaining "cool" under stress. Everyone cares about something and I'll tell you from talking to all the women I do the number one complaint they have about guys is that guys aren't willing to share their feelings, so I doubt apathy would count as an "attractive" trait, lol.

 

And really? Guys don't want to have their life together? they don't want to know what they want in life and have a plan to go after it and achieve it? they don't want to feel secure and confident? Idk bout that. I'm a guy and I value such things, I think alot of guys here would too

 

I understand what you mean by "superficial" because I know those kinds of "methodologies" where you "fake it til you make it" which can feel very "fake" and uncomfortable and honestly if it's not who you want to be then it'd be "selling out" just for female companionship...which is never the best of ideas. Basically what gives a guy social status today is his ability to adapt and thrive in his environment and that doesn't just mean financially but also emotionally. Most of the "wusses" that girls avoid like the plague are simply insecure and needy and thus end up draining the female (even though they may have the best of intentions). My mom's like that. She loves me to death but she does nothing but drain my energy because she's so low on it herself.

 

It's kinda like one of those "ironic" situations. The more emotionally stable one is the more attractive one becomes. So the point isn't to make the woman attracted to you, it's to become more attractive to women. And thats done by cultivating emotional equilibrium, direction, stability etc. Basically just focus on yourself, become who you want to be and just watch the magic from there. Fun fun.

 

 

-Astral

 

EDIT: Good Idea Sloppy !

 

EDIT2: Re Eddie Murphy Vid - Thats chemistry for ya. Like I said most people in today's society have a weak spirit (or shen), lack of discipline, self control and willpower. I agree it's a pathetic state but by understanding the mechanics of it you can use it to empower others through application or through education.

Edited February 13, 2011 by Astral_Anima

[bodyoflight]

Learning how to notice the difference between kindness and doormat behavior can take awhile, especially if it's deeply embedded into your psyche. It took awhile for me, I used to worship women and put them on a pedestal. Now I don't and I have much better interactions with them.

 

Also, ignore people who look upon their number of sexual exploits as a sign of status. I can be hard when the majority of people around you take this view, but ultimately it's a revolting way of thinking. Find something else to feel proud of.

 

In the case of the PUAs or the guys who base their self esteem on getting laid a lot, you will find that many of them lack inner peace and have their own issues of insecurity and neediness which can get worse as they grow older and their looks fade.

 

Doormat = kindness without wisdom

 

True compassion is kindness with wisdom

 

PUAs who think that their self-worth increase with every ejaculation into the next pussy are just deluding themselves.

 

The true master/alpha male will do something else other than the above caveman/PUA acts of suicide.

Edited February 14, 2011 by bodyoflight

[bodyoflight]

@ Sloppy- lmao, nice one XD

 

@JohnC- I agree completely, this type of people appear on the outside to be "nice" but they're just energy vampires.

 

In response to this silly thread...It seems alot of this still stems from priding oneself on being able to please women (in all aspects of the word). Most men still live under the heel of females. If you stop caring what women think of you, stop living your life for their approval and live YOUR life for YOU then the whole issue goes away. Women do not bring happiness and don't expect to bring them happiness. Happiness between a couple can only be SHARED, not given or taken. That is why "chivalry" is a failure. You cannot make anyone happy, you cannot "save" anyone by being romantically involved with them (obviously yeah it's possible, i'm saying it usually doesn't work ime), likewise you can't make yourself happy by relying on the false promises of the "ego" (having a girl will make you happy, pleasing a girl will make you happy).

 

And yes most men get off on the idea of having women "addicted" to them and having women "dependent" on them. This is the least compassionate thing I can think of. If fact if I were Catholic I would call this sort of person a "demon" or "devil" because these types of people do nothing but hurt others while taking pleasure in it.

 

 

Osho once said that the true master is one who gives happiness instead of the one who receives it.

 

Therefore in the female depends on the male for her happiness, then the male is the master and the female is the slave.

 

 

P.S. Over-Ejaculation has actually shown to damage the kidneys, lower the life-force and actually SHORTEN the lifespan. However non-ejaculatory sex has proven to increase the lifespan only because men aren't ejaculating, it's the same as if you were celibate.

 

 

Ouch.

[bodyoflight]

[bodyoflight]

if it really was simply about "being confident" I wouldn't be talking about all this.

 

As much as women that say it's all about confidence, I will still not believe it when they actually just go for the BAD GUY...

 

meanwhile a good guy can say the most innocent genuine thing and he's quickly labelled a perv, a stalker, a freak, sexually harassing, obsessed, scary, rude, not focused, etc. Women can pull the "stalker/perv/rapist/pedo/sick/freak/creep" card all they want...

 

but when it comes down to it, the bad boy THUGS they're with say and do things and call them things that are THOUSANDS of times worse than anything a good guy can say or do.

 

Maybe that's why women have such a hard time finding good men. Because ever since they were young (and STILL ONGOING INTO ADULTHOOD) they would threaten to put men in jail for the simplest most innocent things, yet be manipulative and insult them by accepting abuse from jerks and bad boy thugs.

 

Maybe it's just the USA, but around here it's ALL ABOUT thug culture. If you aren't a thug, or a bad boy, or some type of bad-ass, you are a "scary doormat" to women. You are NOTHING but someone they can manipulate and when we good guys get serious they blame the victim and call us "the REAL jerks, liars etc" the "not really nice-guy" the "socially inept loser-jerk who simply calls himself a nice guy".

 

Because it's all about turning things around and making the victim look crazy and putting the blame all on that same victim.

 

To be real, women don't want good guys. They don't want nice guys. Because they set up the rules of what's "bad". What's bad for a good guy is definitely not bad for a "bad guy/boy". They are excluded, they can do w/e the f*ck they want all of a sudden without any consequences.

 

The good guys want to respect a woman, and avoid sexual confrontation out of courtesy and respect for the woman. They want the woman to give him a signal first or let him know first that it's ok. They dont want to violate, or make the woman feel violated. Because as they were growing up, it was "not ok" to treat her like the sex object she likes to be treated as by the bad boys.

 

Now what can a good guy do? Can he even so much as look at her or any other innocent thing without the girl pulling out the "psycho-stalker" card, the "pervert" card, the "rapist" card", the "freaky creep" card, the "obsessive" card, etc.

 

Well it just so happens that all women carry this "bitch shield" around them to ward off "undesirables" so that men have NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO BE BOLD and daring, and brave with the girls. This amounts to not putting up with her shit, and actually breaking through those set up boundaries. DUH! no wonder good guys find it hard, they have to VIOLATE YOU just to get to you! and THEN she'll see if you're attractive enough, but at least you've affirmed yourself as 'brave and macho AND BAD' which is the first thing she wants.

 

Since most girls want the men to do everything for her, like decide for her whats best, etc. she'll just tell the good guy "well you never let me know you thought I was sexy enough to violently bang". Hahahaha.

 

How in the hell are we supposed to let you know that, while at the same time "respecting" you like you have "always wanted" us to?

 

But the bad boys do get away with it. Because they can say the most lewd and raunchy things, and OBVIOUSLY girls are going to like it because they have NO CHOICE but to be lustfully seduced by language which invokes imagery of the most raunchiest, sexually uninhibted things that can come to mind, and this cannot be resisted.

 

It's called brainwashing. It's called seduction. yes seduction, the same as deceiving. The same as FORCING, a woman into sexual thoughts,and feelings. Like with kino (touching a woman without permission) and calling it a "game" or making it seem innocent. Or getting so close that it becomes irresistably personal. Deceiving one to be an authority, ie co-ercion.

 

can you believe some women actually LOOK for males who induce fear in them, and then call it love? is it fear or is it love?

 

 

 

You can tell me all you want that there are some girls that are different, they are definitely not the majority. They are perhaps the smallest minority. Finally getting a good boyfriend to step all over and cheat at the age of 40 after banging all the bad boys and being used up, does not count.

 

Ok, maybe on another planet. Maybe...

 

I can tell you one thing now.. you been hanging around the wrong women..

 

you should learn to change the consciousness of your thoughts, your lifestyle, the people whom you hang out with, the places you go to..

 

in fact, i suggest you learn to change everything in your life if need be.. cos you really sound like a doormat to me.. whinging about how you are abused by bad women.. lol..

[bodyoflight]

Just foud this:

 

There is none more lonely than the man who loves only himself.

Loneliness - Abraham Ibn Esra

 

and there lies the root of your problem..

 

if you do not love yourself first and if you do not love yourself more than other people.. how are you gonna get women to love you?

[bodyoflight]

You are a man and you're supposed to attract women naturally and without effort.

Unfortunately todays society has put so many limiting beliefs on men saying that getting women is hard and when you get laid you are getting "lucky" and this basically takes all the power away from men and puts women on a hard to reach pedestal.

You don't need to learn any routines or any other bullshit pick-up stuff.

Do you think that Mr. Rabbit who has boned 100's of female rabbits did this by learning any routines?

He is just doing it naturally the way it's supposed to be for us humans too.

 

You need to bring out the naturally attractive and confident man that is hidden deep beneath all the bullshit that society, media and family has dumped on you.

Real confidence is not about bullying or putting other people down or being a thug.

It's about having your shit together and owning yourself, not pretending, not needing anything from other people because you already have everything you need inside yourself.

Don't do it to get women do it for yourself and for your own happiness.

It's time to start feeling good about yourself and stop giving a fuck about other people and stop making up stories in your head about women. It doesn't matter if they're true or not.

Feeling good about oneself is the best gift you can give yourself.

So what if you will be a virgin the rest of you life?

When you feel good about yourself having sex or not having sex doesn't matter, and this is the time when you will get as much sex as you want.

 

Just to prove my point of what changing your beliefs will do to your appearance and the way you carry yourself.

 

Here is a before and after picture of a guy (not me) that did just that.

I can see the exact same changes in myself.

He lost some weight and did some grooming but that doesn't really matter it's all in the eyes and the way he carries himself.

 

Before: http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c72/rs13141/100_1484.jpg

 

After: http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c72/rs13141/PIC_0254.jpg

 

That is not the problem with non.

 

Non is the stereotypical male who is focused on finding love and himself through women and sex.

 

He doesn't realize that by focusing so much on the search for love, sex and women, he is ignoring the obstacles that is preventing him from gaining love, sex and women in the first place.

 

And this spiritual game is so freaking huge and complicated the average person will have no chance of getting out of the matrix..

 

The true purpose of every human being is to find enlightenment and this search for love, sex and women is one of the main obstacles in hindering one's path to enlightenment.

 

As one progresses on the spiritual path, the spiritual hierarchies will throw more and more women and sexual opportunities as well as other distractions at the seeker in order to test his resolve in attaining enlightenment.

 

How many of you have found the forces of negativity and darkness to be greater the more you progress on the path of spirituality?

Edited February 14, 2011 by bodyoflight

[bodyoflight]

You know, only 20 % of men get to have 80 % of the women.

 

Statistically only 40 % of men even get to have some sort of success with women, yet we are related to only 20 percent of the males. 80 percent of women having some have success with men. Starking contrast.

 

And then about 25-30 percent of men die off to equal the number of men of which more are born than women.

 

One can definately assume that it's all inheritance when it comes to success. Inheritance means genetics, which means reproductive success.

 

And a male can be successful in life do great things but as long as he does not get 1 ounce of love or anything from a woman he is not considered biologically worthy of evolutionary continuation.

 

Look at the men and women and see the diffeerence in their bodily structure. Men have the features of brutality and the bodily structure to do EVERYTHING a society needs while a woman's features are BY FAR dominantly for reproductive SERVICE to the MOST BRUTALLY and VIOLENTLY DOMINANT MALES. BY FAR!

 

Im not being sexist, Im speaking from a biological standpoint!

 

Look at the nature of orgasm. It's violent and brutal, like the force of a nuclear explosion. All meant to ensure that a male a reproductively successful but LITERALLY PUNCTURING INTO the GASH of a womb of a female and inserting his genetic material. THE MORE VIOLENT a male in the sexual act the MORE CHANCE he has to dominate all the other sperms inside a woman, and the more success he will have at producing offspring, the more virile his offspring will be. That's why women play hard to get, bust our balls, make fun of other men so the man get's so vicious that he increases his rate of copulation when he does finally "CATCH" her (the prey).

 

It is the sad state of life when one has to evaluate his success in life by the number of women which he procreates with.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the animal realm of the state of existence right before your very eyes!

 

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art34036.asp

 

Animal Realm - Within Buddhist cosmology, the animal realm is defined by ignorance, and an inability to think for oneself. Life is one-dimensional and survival-oriented, with little free will or choice. Therefore, as animals we do not have the capacity to hear or practice the teachings, although we may show signs of past practice in our temperament, i.e. compassion or intelligence.

 

this reply is #111 for a reason

Edited February 14, 2011 by bodyoflight

[bodyoflight]

Haha, not quite whta i meant, I didn't mean sociopathic or apathetic, just like...not alot of stuff bothers them. It's basically just remaining "cool" under stress. Everyone cares about something and I'll tell you from talking to all the women I do the number one complaint they have about guys is that guys aren't willing to share their feelings, so I doubt apathy would count as an "attractive" trait, lol.

 

And really? Guys don't want to have their life together? they don't want to know what they want in life and have a plan to go after it and achieve it? they don't want to feel secure and confident? Idk bout that. I'm a guy and I value such things, I think alot of guys here would too

 

I understand what you mean by "superficial" because I know those kinds of "methodologies" where you "fake it til you make it" which can feel very "fake" and uncomfortable and honestly if it's not who you want to be then it'd be "selling out" just for female companionship...which is never the best of ideas. Basically what gives a guy social status today is his ability to adapt and thrive in his environment and that doesn't just mean financially but also emotionally. Most of the "wusses" that girls avoid like the plague are simply insecure and needy and thus end up draining the female (even though they may have the best of intentions). My mom's like that. She loves me to death but she does nothing but drain my energy because she's so low on it herself.

 

It's kinda like one of those "ironic" situations. The more emotionally stable one is the more attractive one becomes. So the point isn't to make the woman attracted to you, it's to become more attractive to women. And thats done by cultivating emotional equilibrium, direction, stability etc. Basically just focus on yourself, become who you want to be and just watch the magic from there. Fun fun.

 

 

-Astral

 

EDIT: Good Idea Sloppy !

 

EDIT2: Re Eddie Murphy Vid - Thats chemistry for ya. Like I said most people in today's society have a weak spirit (or shen), lack of discipline, self control and willpower. I agree it's a pathetic state but by understanding the mechanics of it you can use it to empower others through application or through education.

 

you ever have this situation where you like the girl but she doesn't like you .. or where you don't like the girl but she is into you?...

 

go figure the energy dynamics out..

[bodyoflight]

http://wenku.baidu.com/view/4f50680203d8ce2f006623dc.html

 

Life isn't fair...and thats a GOOD THING, that's where the power's at, it means you can ascend to the highest ranks of the "elites" and get what you're looking for.

 

Non, women...<sigh> forgive me females on this forum, but Non, most women are very weak willed and easy to manipulate and control. Most men are "brutal", they're angry, belligerent, immature, and use fear and physical force to dominate others. HOWEVER, women only "think" they like that. Honestly you can use techniques to completely rewrite what they like and find attractive and appealing, it's not set in stone, the mind is very "changeable". While very few men statistically get most of the women, that means you can be in that "20%". And you don't have to become domineering, angry, controlling, or any of those negative things. Once you understand WHY women are attracted to that, you can dissect what's REALLY going on underneath the bullshit and push the same "buttons" without being a jackass.

 

Women are attracted to social status. Now back in the day that was determined by physical strength, but now it's determined by other things. 1.) Money and the ability to provide for a family 2.) Popularity 3.) Emotional stability 4.)Reliability 5.) Sex

 

Listen to this :

 

It's true as hell and rather funny, lol. But it's been proven to me as true...which means personality isn't as important as one makes it out to be, you can rewrite what they like using simple psychology combined with chemistry

 

Trust me though the top class who REALLY get most of the women are not the "brutal" type. The "brutal" guys end up getting the uneducated, low self esteem women (a sad majority). The true "top class" are the confident and "i really don't care" type of guys. They don't use force cause they don't have to, they have social status which is much more powerful and influential thus they aren't intimidated by anything. Look at fuggin Rick James! that guys was the FARTHEST from "brutal", he was a "love machine" but because he had social status women through themselves at him. Though the world is indeed a "dark" place, it's not hopeless and you're not a victim. Know the truth and the truth will set you free.

 

Best of luck to you

-Astral

 

(The above is based on observations and studies of masses and generalizations, i'm not trying to label anyone as a gender, just identifying trends)

 

As osho said, once you learn how to give others happiness instead of depending on others for your own happiness, you will become the master and other people will become your slaves.

 

Not that it is good to make others your slaves.

 

I am merely pointing out that one should always depend on himself/herself for his/her own happiness and not seek to find happiness from others.

Edited February 14, 2011 by bodyoflight

[Non]

http://electionink.com/threads/2828-Mormon-lessons-How-to-know-if-a-women-wants-to-get-raped

 

omg

 

This is just crazy...but look atall the confusion this society has. This actually MAKES PERFECT SENSE YET IT'S CRAZY!!!!!!!!!

 

This is the signs of a really messed up society and governing systems.

Edited February 22, 2011 by Non

[thelerner]

http://electionink.com/threads/2828-Mormon-lessons-How-to-know-if-a-women-wants-to-get-raped

 

omg

 

This is just crazy...but look atall the confusion this society has. This actually MAKES PERFECT SENSE YET IT'S CRAZY!!!!!!!!!

 

This is the signs of a really messed up society and governing systems.

IMO That link IS crazy and makes no sense, it seems highly contrived and majorly screwed up. I think the author was making most of it up. His interviews(?) with woman did not ring true.

 

One danger of the internet is that no matter how bizarre your belief, you can find someone who shares it. If you spend your time looking for darkness you'll continue to be depressed.

 

My unasked for advice: Forget woman for a while and find a positive focus.

 

 

Michael

[Non]

IMO That link IS crazy and makes no sense, it seems highly contrived and majorly screwed up. I think the author was making most of it up. His interviews(?) with woman did not ring true.

 

One danger of the internet is that no matter how bizarre your belief, you can find someone who shares it. If you spend your time looking for darkness you'll continue to be depressed.

 

My unasked for advice: Forget woman for a while and find a positive focus.

 

 

Michael

 

it is obviously satire...but it is very surreal how it can actually make some kind of sense because.. almost as if it's made to seem like a joke but what if it has some truth to it? so much so that it's not even funny.

 

How? Because a LOT of women actually seem to think like this, if not, many men do.

 

This might be how it really is in America. Maybe in other countries less so..

 

but it's horrible the confusion women go through as do manyy men.

Edited February 22, 2011 by Non

[King Kabalabhati]

it is obviously satire...but it is very surreal how it can actually make some kind of sense because.. almost as if it's made to seem like a joke but what if it has some truth to it? so much so that it's not even funny.

 

How? Because a LOT of women actually seem to think like this, if not, many men do.

 

This might be how it really is in America. Maybe in other countries less so..

 

but it's horrible the confusion women go through as do manyy men.

 

So make a plan to go to Europe then? Things are a bit less "polarized" in many countries here it seems.

[Sloppy Zhang]

it is obviously satire...but it is very surreal how it can actually make some kind of sense because.. almost as if it's made to seem like a joke but what if it has some truth to it? so much so that it's not even funny.

 

Well, it's titled "Mormon lessons...." so let's not forget to include that important little piece of context.

 

How? Because a LOT of women actually seem to think like this, if not, many men do.

 

Now see here's the funny thing that happens so much- men seem to think women think a certain way, so they act a certain way. Conversely, women think that men think a certain way, so they act a certain way.

 

What's funny is that all too often, this is pitched and reaffirmed by members of the same sex (guys reinforce the thoughts of other guys, rather than asking women, women reinforce the thoughts of other women, rather than asking men). So you wind up with the two sexes actually looking past each other at some fictional "reality". The reality doesn't even have to be something enjoyable like a fantasy, it could be some ignorance misconception about how the other sex thinks.

 

I just remember I was in a class focusing on how people are sexualized through the media, some girl had brought in a bunch of women's magazines, and was reading stuff that women were suggesting for how to "get a man". And all the men in the class were like, "uh.... most of this stuff sounds made up. Guys really don't care one way or the other about some of that stuff."

 

But women are told (mostly by other women!) that men DO think in a certain way, so they should buy such-and-such product, such-and-such fashion, and whatnot.

 

So it's all messed up one way or the other.

 

And now for some humor!

Edited February 23, 2011 by Sloppy Zhang

[gendao]

[Sloppy Zhang]

Here's a good article on the topic that seems to cover about all the bases (and from an actual woman's POV too):

 

I think the article makes some good points, but the overall assumption still is that the "nice guy" is a doormat, that the "nice guy" won't take charge, that the "nice guy" is boring, that the "nice guy" won't know how to charm, etc etc.

 

It's almost the same type of warped view that is presented in these threads from the other side- that if you aren't acting out, then you are passive, and if you're passive, then you are passive, then you are more like a woman.

 

And it's just not true.

 

Ideas like this typically come from people who don't move through a variety of social spheres- they see a lot of people that reinforce their view, and think that that is proof. But really, they are just seeing the same types over and over and over.

 

If a girl has only ever been around frat guys, she's going to think that those are the only types of guys that exist. And that's not true, even if she thinks she's "seen them all" just because she's been in a thousand relationships, even if in reality, they are all the same type of guys.

Edited April 28, 2011 by Sloppy Zhang

[Non]

ok, like I said in my other thread:

 

People are addicted to sex, and think that to satisfy an addiction they need to be abusive or be abused, therefore they come to expect the opposite sex to either be abusive or accept abuse. So women think guy's sexual nature is abusive, aggressive and violent, so a guy who gives in to this and is abusive, aggressive and violent is considered as "being real" but a nice guy who knows about all of this knows that sexual energy needs to be handled with care or at least properly.. they just don't know how to do it because need to attain samadhi or some ish or practice some meditation or spiritual sexual gonfu. Whereas the rest of the people are just animals, or at least most of them. SO it's just 2 extremes.

 

At least the nice guy knows sort of what's going on, the other men couldn't really care.

 

The sexual nature in it's most lowest primitive form IS abusive. That's just how it is and nobody cares to think about it or even admit to it. Even if they do it's a half-assed recognition because they still don't care who hurts in the end.

[Non]

I think the article makes some good points, but the overall assumption still is that the "nice guy" is a doormat, that the "nice guy" won't take charge, that the "nice guy" is boring, that the "nice guy" won't know how to charm, etc etc.

 

It's almost the same type of warped view that is presented in these threads from the other side- that if you aren't acting out, then you are passive, and if you're passive, then you are passive, then you are more like a woman.

 

And it's just not true.

 

Ideas like this typically come from people who don't move through a variety of social spheres- they see a lot of people that reinforce their view, and think that that is proof. But really, they are just seeing the same types over and over and over.

 

If a girl has only ever been around frat guys, she's going to think that those are the only types of guys that exist. And that's not true, even if she thinks she's "seen them all" just because she's been in a thousand relationships, even if in reality, they are all the same type of guys.

 

yea well you're not awoman so your opinion doesn't count

.

[gendao]

^^ Well, remember this is women's PERCEPTIONS, not necessarily reality. Of course, women base their choices on their percetptions though...so that's really all that matters to them. Perception, not reality...

 

And they're also just bell curve generalizations. You'll find polarized comments resembling both yours and Non's below the article. For example, read sam7777's - who basically echoes both of your points:

You are all wrong:

 

* Nice guys are routinely strongly built.

* Nice guys are routinely masculine.

* Nice guys routinely set boundaries.

 

The problem is three fold:

 

(1) To one degree or another, all woman are sexual masochists. Bad boys, unlike nice guys, appeal to womans sexual masochism.

 

(2) Young woman correctly perceive themselves as having unlimited sexual choices. Therefore, they are constantly finding fault with males who express an interest in them. In other words, their primed to reject. The bad boy makes them feel insecure, so they spend most of their time striving to meet with his approval. This is not the case with the nice guy who communicates to the woman her desirability.

 

(3) Young woman routinely don't want to commit to a man while in their early too mid twenties. The nice guy communicates a desire to commit. The bad boy, however, only wants sex.

 

But the main dynamic is sexual masochism. Dominant males, who relate to them with coldness and/or abuse, sexually excite them. This is the dark side of female sexual psychology. The popularity of movies staring male vampires is indicative of this. Prostitutes routinely falling in love with ruthless pimps another example. Serial killers in jail receiving countless love letters from females is another extreme example. Even the not uncommon female fetish for huge penises is consistent with female sexual masochism.

 

I have always been an emotionally cold male, but unbelievably I have rarely been rejected by a female once a relationship was established. The explanation was my coldness, not in spite of it.

 

You females are sexual masochists, and that masochism creates a world of trouble for you. Your masochism is most likely related to your small size, and the fact that you are penetrated during the sex act.

 

Your sick masochism calls into question whether you should have been liberated.

Edited April 28, 2011 by vortex

[Sloppy Zhang]

The sexual nature in it's most lowest primitive form IS abusive. That's just how it is and nobody cares to think about it or even admit to it. Even if they do it's a half-assed recognition because they still don't care who hurts in the end.

 

This is the problem that I find exists within many of the "top down" schools of thinking- if you let something roam free, it will remain in its lowest form. The lowest form is always wrong, negative. Not only must you work to elevate it, but if you hesitate for even a moment, you will fall back down and into failure.

 

How about this: sexual nature is inherently NOTHING. HOWEVER, people appropriate the sexual energy and direct it towards whatever their focus is on.

 

If they are weak, insecure individuals, they will use their sexual energy to control and manipulate others so that they can feel some misguided sense of personal success.

 

If they are strong, secure individuals then they will use their sexual energy to supercharge a relationship (whether it is through physical sex or by creating a dynamic, exciting atmosphere). If you have TWO secure people like this, the energy bounces off each other, and you've got a very charged relationship.

 

The prevalence of bad sexual relationships has NOTHING to do with the inherent nature of the sexual energy. Instead, it has to do with people mistakenly trying to solve their own personal negative situations through sex- and in doing so, mess everything up, and since they aren't the types to take personal responsibility, it all gets blamed on the least common denominator: sex.

[Sloppy Zhang]

yea well you're not awoman so your opinion doesn't count. Your opinion does not support my world view, so I am ignoring you in favor of one that does.

 

(Fixed that for you)

 

And as a "nice guy" that gets plenty of attention from plenty of women, I'd say it kinda does.

 

I mean, I'm not trying to brag. I'm just trying to say that there ARE ways to be nice and not feel like you are rejected by society.

[Non]

(Fixed that for you)

 

And as a "nice guy" that gets plenty of attention from plenty of women, I'd say it kinda does.

 

I mean, I'm not trying to brag. I'm just trying to say that there ARE ways to be nice and not feel like you are rejected by society.

 

Iw as being sarcastic I forgot to mention

[Sloppy Zhang]

^^ Well, remember this is women's PERCEPTIONS, not necessarily reality. Of course, women base their choices on their percetptions though...so that's really all that matters to them. Perception, not reality...

 

Further than that, it is ONE woman's perception.

 

Just because someone may have a website, an article, or otherwise exist in some public spotlight, doesn't make them any sort of representation for anyone other than themselves.

[Non]

This is the problem that I find exists within many of the "top down" schools of thinking- if you let something roam free, it will remain in its lowest form. The lowest form is always wrong, negative. Not only must you work to elevate it, but if you hesitate for even a moment, you will fall back down and into failure.

 

How about this: sexual nature is inherently NOTHING. HOWEVER, people appropriate the sexual energy and direct it towards whatever their focus is on.

 

If they are weak, insecure individuals, they will use their sexual energy to control and manipulate others so that they can feel some misguided sense of personal success.

 

If they are strong, secure individuals then they will use their sexual energy to supercharge a relationship (whether it is through physical sex or by creating a dynamic, exciting atmosphere). If you have TWO secure people like this, the energy bounces off each other, and you've got a very charged relationship.

 

The prevalence of bad sexual relationships has NOTHING to do with the inherent nature of the sexual energy. Instead, it has to do with people mistakenly trying to solve their own personal negative situations through sex- and in doing so, mess everything up, and since they aren't the types to take personal responsibility, it all gets blamed on the least common denominator: sex.

 

Alright.. I shouldn't say abusive. My bad. What if it really is though and yet still affirm that there's no such thing as "good and bad" just that it really is abusive/destructive? It is part of samsara isn't it? It still contributes to suffering doesn't it? SO then why do all the spiritual masters need to overcome the desire for sex? Why must they all transform their lust?

 

Most sex today is still based on adrenaline and dopamine feelings, not oxytocin. Adrenaline is FEAR. I don't know about vasopressin but that's another chemical involved.

 

BUt as said by Marnia in Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: by nature we are hardwired to be non-committing. At least that is our first instinct or was the first instinct to develop. That mean's firstly there's no such thing as fidelity. Bonding behavior come 2nd but in attraction usually it's the first thing that matters: if a guy shows more the behavior of a person who does not want commitment.

 

Because according to nature it's more about quantity vs quality, and it prefers quantity first. Well, according to popular science anyways.

 

WE are hardwired also to form bonds but this supposedly comes 2nd. People do only start to develop bonds once initial attraction has taken place. Taking the view that we are a developing Universe and that "Love" is a fairly new concept at least here on Earth, I'd say that is true.

Edited April 28, 2011 by Non