VELLY

9 hours ago, Nungali said:

 

It seems like you are comparing a modern new age view about karma .   Morality is certainly subjective, being a societal model the individual is supposed to adopt .

 

The internal considerations , aside from this outward code (of morality) is ethics .

 

I am also curious as to how you define  'spirituality' .

Morals are influenced by individual values, while ethics encompass broader societal expectations and norms. I am more concerned with morals here, let's say I find a wallet on the road. My moral values are such that I think it is a reward given by God and I decide to keep it. Whereas ethical standards emphasize returning lost items to the owner.

Many a times we know that something is wrong according to the rules set by society or religion yet we justify our wrongdoings by our own moral standards. 

What is confusing to me is that how does the cycle of karma work then? Does it boil down to intentions? But that is still confusing as I may do all types of wrong things without hurting anyone. Exploitation is a good example of this. I may misuse someone vulnerable for personal gains.

Spirituality for me is journey of connecting with someone greater than ourselves who guides us during good and bad times.In Bhakti Marg, individuals cultivate a deep and heartfelt love, devotion, and surrender to a chosen deity or a personal form of the divine. I see people with all kinds of bad behaviour reciting the name of God. I see them happy also. I just doubt God sometimes and cycle of Karma.

Kindly guide 

That is all true @Gerard. However the question remains : 

If morality is subjective, then how come karma ( or laws of universe) work?

Are morality and spirituality interconnected? 

I am often fascinated by the behavior of people in the modern world. There are numerous contradictions in their actions and beliefs. For instance, I have a friend who holds a government position but engages in corrupt practices. Surprisingly, he also donates a significant amount of money. He has developed his own set of values, which can be seen as contradictory. He argues that donating the money earned through corruption absolves him of any wrongdoing, as the act of giving back mitigates the harm caused. I find this way of thinking truly astonishing.

This example is just one among many. Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about adultery, and he expressed the view that it is wrong to initiate such actions. However, if a woman approaches or shows interest, he believes it would be acceptable to engage in such behavior. These double standards are prevalent in various aspects of people's lives. Many individuals who appear to be devoutly religious or spiritual also struggle with strong desires and lust. People have a knack for justifying their own questionable behaviors.

I must admit that I, too, have found myself in conflicting situations at times. This constant exposure to contradictory behavior has left me thoroughly confused. Is morality not an integral part of spirituality? Can a person with low moral standards still consider themselves highly spiritual? 

8 hours ago, liminal_luke said:

Hi Velly,

 

You might check out the programs offered by the Body Electric School and the work of the school's founder, Joseph Kramer.  

After reading answer from @freeform and others, I am worried that these things are just a scam. They can also be damaging for my physical and mental health.

Only you have mentioned that not everything is black which is sold under the umbrella of sexual practices. So the one you have suggested me Body electric. Have you used these practices?

If yes, how was the experience?

26 minutes ago, Shadow_self said:

 

I think you need to try a different forum for this  

May be you are right.

1 hour ago, Shadow_self said:

time...My suggestion is to steer very clear of anything to do with sexual practices, and seriously re-examine your motives for even considering this.

Why is this motive wrong Sir? Expecting a healthy and fulfilling sexual life is a bad motive?

Please enlighten.

1 minute ago, Shadow_self said:

 

Is this what you are seeking?

Don't know if I am wrong, but yes. Who would not love a better sex life?

31 minutes ago, Shadow_self said:

 

Dear me

 

You absolutely should not want to learn any of this. It is neither required nor beneficial

 

The amount of misinformation surrounding this type of work is overwhelming, and to be totally honest, you should be looking for better practices

 

Mantak Chia broke enough people in his time...My suggestion is to steer very clear of anything to do with sexual practices, and seriously re-examine your motives for even considering this.

I am aware about Mantak Chia's program and it's dangers. That's why I did not mention his name in the list.

Anyways, all these gurus and teachers make so many claims and promise a better and fulfilling sex life. My question is if they are wrong then why is there so much hype surrounding it? 

What else are you going to suggest instead of these programs? 

Finally, there must be some people with accurate knowledge about these practices. They may not be so mainstream but they must be somewhere.

There is one shaman master Lujan Maths who seemed very secretive about this kind of knowledge. He is very selective about the students whom to teach this stuff. May be he knows about the ins and outs of it. I could not find any of his article or book about it.

What would you suggest?

I want to learn Tao sexual practices such as non ejaculatory orgasms. I have been looking for some teachers here and there, but there is so much of conflicting information on the internet. 

I am going to mention few names here :

https://www.johnathanwhitelifestyle.com/multi-orgasmic-man - johnathan white 

https://www.nakuladas.com/. - Nakula das

https://www.awakenedintent.com/blog/sexual-energy-and-semen-retention-for-men - Chris Bale 

https://www.tantradharmacenter.com/ejaculation-mastery - Devi Ward

https://healingtaousa.com/sexual-qigong-jade-eggs/ - Micheal Winn 

https://www.taylorjohnson.life/semen-retention-mastery/  - Taylor Johnson 

There are some teachers like Lujan Matus who teach sexual tao practices only to the initiated. Can anybody help me to select the best or the most accurate teachers who has least flaws in their teaching. I do know that this area of tao has no one guru who is 100% accurate. But any ideas would be appreciated. If you have some list of best content please share.

It will help the new ones entering this area.

6 hours ago, Lairg said:

 

Learn to do your own tests of kidney energy

 

Group/family karma is an issue for your health.  The first step to being free is forgiving all your relatives and ancestors for any adverse actions/attitudes they hold - and forgiving yourself for any foolishness.

 

How to do this? It is my question. Any tutorial or video?

1 hour ago, Mango said:

If you want a faster result, you can practice yoga and pay more attention to deep breathing. No matter what kind of practice that you do, breathing is very important for self-healing. Breathing as much oxygen as possible into your body is the key to good health. It is because whatever you take orally, requires oxygen to decompose the glucose to give you the energy for the internal organs to function.

 

Your body will take care of the part that demands the most attention. In your case, it would definitely help to speed up the recovery of the reproductive system.

 

Yes, this seems very logical and accurate. I would definitely try it. I hope you don't mind asking one more question.

The cardiovascular activities we do like jogging, sprinting and soccer. Do these activities account for breathing exercises?

There is no control over breath in these exercises so I don't think that they are. Anyway, your opinion would be insightful.

4 hours ago, Lairg said:

 

It would help to love yourself.  Also reduce exposure to electromagnetic radiation and to manufactured foods and to negative people.

 

Being cheerful helps kidney energy.

I do all these things man. Still if you see it as 20% then I doubt your knowledge.

19 hours ago, Mango said:

FYI. None of the herbs will work for you due to the physical internal damage from long-time masturbation. Because it is internal, the best cure is self-healing by practicing Qigong or Taiji diligently. Taiji is the best because it involves movement coordinated with deep breathing. Breathing is very important for self-healing. Do Taiji a few times a day, you will see results in a few months. Continuing to do it daily will make you a stronger and better person than before. I had gone through all these experiences once before. Now I am a very healthy person and teach Taiji in a Senior Service Center. After the class, some told me that they have become a better person.

I am not aware about Taiji but I would definitely try yoga. It also involves breathing exercises.

Are these herbs useless without practising yoga or taiji?

Why are you saying this that internal damage cannot be cured by external medication.? Millions of people don't have access to this kind of knowledge and they are also cured with herbs. Kindly elaborate.

1 hour ago, Lairg said:

When a person formulates ideas and records those as words, the words provide a link.  So I followed the link and had a look

 

 

Oh really, It's first time I have heard something like that (No disrespect). If you see my kidney health as 20% , provide me a solution also to make it 100 % . How quickly can I restore my kidney health. There must be some other more practical way to check kidney health. Let me know that also.

Why the herbs won't work for me. I am a regular gym-goer and eat 1.5 times protein of my bodyweight and your words are really discouraging.

3 hours ago, EFreethought said:

 

How are you looking at his body? Was there a picture attached to this thread that has since been removed?

 

I was also going to ask the same. 

I have been doing masturbation for many years. I am going to get married soon and my erections are weak and premature ejaculation is also there. Can you suggest some herbs or remedial measures I can take to avoid the embarrassment?

I checked the website by Dr. Lin (actionlove.com). It seemed legit but the medicines cannot be ordered in my country.

I am thinking of using some of the herbs used by him as a supplement. To name a few :

Panax ginseng, American Ginseng, Damiana, Pumpkin seed, Saw palmetto, pygeum bark, Nestle root, Mucuna pruriens, Tribulus terrestris, Gingko biloba.

Does anybody have experience have these medicines? What are your views about Dr. Lin of (actionlove.com).

Any help would be much appreciated. 

Thanks.

The efficacy of majority of herbal medicines has always been questioned by science. The ancient systems of medicine like Ayurveda, Accupressure are termed as pseudo science. However, enough people claim to get cured by these systems and I think it's the reason why these systems have survived for so long.

In my opinion, herbs definitely have some  impact on body but these changes are minutiae and hence unobservable to a worldly man. In fact,  the research done on these medicines is often of shorter duration and not done in collaboration with other supporting herbs. Majority of ancient medicine systems deal with body as a whole unlike modern medicine which is known for its expertise in dealing with each body part separately. My aim of asking this question on this forum is that many of the individuals here are involved in spiritual practices. 

Spiritual people have much better body mind connections and they have deeper understanding of bodily functions.

Does anybody have anything solid in this regards? Are herbs really effective to treat diseases? Please share your thoughts.

9 hours ago, Nungali said:

Yes, but you see, I believe that all  of life is sacred and loyal ( 'loyal' to 'big mum'  , and 'loyal' to what she likes to see    )  - I partake of  'strange  and libertarian religion , a religion of joy and freedom , so my outlooks will be different .  Especially regarding relationships ;

 

Love is the Law, love under will .   Not love restricted by jealousies , social norms, legal conditions and contracts

 

" There is love , and there is love "  - or love  and lovers   

But it's important to have legal conditions(like in marriage). What you are talking about is possible for people with a very refined character and such utopian societies dont exist anywhere.

jealousy is often considered a part of a relationship. I mean to say its one of the outcomes of going in any relationship and its not possible to avoid it unless a person is a highly realized being.

Social norms and legal conditons do have there place. Love under will is very right but I guess some restrictions are also a part. I don't want to say let the love turn toxic but these restrictions force a person to give a second try to a weakening relation.

3 hours ago, Taomeow said:

 

No, I don't think so.  Dirty games are sick, and the outcome of screwed up developmental history, of neurotic, unfair, unfeeling upbringing -- in the family, in society, in the midst of cultural monstrosities that institutionalize abuse and maintain it as a norm.  People grow up twisted and starved for love -- but because they are twisted and have no other frame of reference for human relationships, the way they seek love (or reject it in favor of unfeeling stances) also comes out all distorted and abnormal.  "All is fair" only in psychopathic or sociopathic consciousness.  Not in love and not even in war.

What kind of societal, family and cultural monstrosities are we talking about. Aren't these institutions for the benefit of humans?

3 hours ago, Taomeow said:

 

   

I don't think sexual expression of freedom solves that problem because, again, in a distorted society with skewed family and cultural values it will also manifest in all kinds of unhealthy ways.  By itself it solves nothing.  But at least arriving at the conclusion that it should not serve as another pretext for abuse and violence against women specifically (while being deemed permissible for men) is a step in the right direction.  Getting rid of the double standard is a step in the right direction.    

I think it happens because if a man did sex with a virgin or a married woman he did not need to face any consequences, whereas in the past a female had to bear all the consequences. She had to face hardships of pregnancy, moreover it also lead to mixing of races or castes that's why I think women were more severely punished.

Men were considered perpetrators, and it was women who needed to protect their chastity. I think it's kind of victim blaming where women were fooled (seduced) and also they were the ones who got the punishment. I mean to say it's wrong to mistreat the weak; both gender should get equal punishment (or a chance to penance).

In the modern times such cases dont exist hence double standards should not be there. Its a step in the right direction.

Lies and betrayal should not be there in a relationship. Exclusivity is not necessary (should not be demanded also unless married) but at least someone should not make fake promises regarding it.

4 hours ago, Taomeow said:

 

Sometimes.  I don't think it was the case in this case, but I wasn't there. 

Here's where I "was there" and know the motives better:

I was 19 and crazy in love with my boyfriend.  Just bonkers.  But I never felt secure in our relationship, because he liked to play games.  Oh man.  It would take me a whole book to write them up.  And he could too -- he was insanely popular, and not only with girls of the legal age but with his female high school students (he was a young teacher).  Those fracking shameless 16-year-olds would do things like, e.g., spy on me, find out where I lived, then show up under my window in the middle of the night and start yelling drunken insults, calling me all kinds of horrible names and screaming for my parents to do something about my (!!!) behavior.  Stuff like that.  I was afraid to tell my boyfriend that it happened because, believe it or not, I was afraid he'd just laugh the whole thing off -- or worse, feel flattered that girls are fighting for him with no holds barred.  And it's only one example -- there was always something going on with him that kept me on my toes.

 

So I broke up with him -- way before I was ready to -- not to, as you put it, "test him" but because I was tired of feeling insecure, of never knowing what to expect, whether to trust him.  I won't tell the rest of the story, but just to illustrate that "women play games" looking for an "alpha male" is not necessarily the only scenario.   Two can play the game, and the nature of the game may vary.              

The nature of game may vary. I think you are perfectly right. That's why every relationship is unique.

Taomeow, some of the games may be pretty dirty then. Would it be correct to say then that 'everything is fair in love and war' ? 

In developing nations crime related to women is so much more and it's because the males ( majority) justify their criminal acts saying such proverbs. I do believe it's very much wrong. But there should be some way out. 

Is sexual expression of freedom that way?

Then adultery would be justified. I think it's too messed up. 

18 hours ago, Nungali said:

 

So ?

 

In my experience , that is fairly common . What ? You have been living in an expectational  fairy story ? 

 

I am not sure what you mean by  'in relationship ' ? I suppose you mean she was having sex with someone other than you .  I am wondering if  this 'exclusivity' you seek was previously agreed upon or just assumed , personally or general social context . I have seen that a lot ; just because a couple can 'fall together'   one or both can assume that a whole lot of parameters are in place that where never agreed upon .

 

I am wondering  how 'shady' your past in this regard is  ? 

 

 

 

Again,  why ?   If you really loved her ... oh wait  .....   silly me , thats not in the recipe is it  ?  You just want to use her for sex .

 

The guy might not even know you exist  ( until you rantingly confront him swinging punches )  ...

 

I suggest you meditate on and look deeply into WHY you feel such anger  .

 

 

 

 

 

Ooooo  ... you spiteful little  ...... 

 

 

 

Its still on you though , you where a cause for that beating .

 

 

" Here is my advice from " reading great scripture " ;

 

" There is no bond that can unite the divided  but love - all else is a curse ! "

 

Continue to carry on like this and you will be cursing yourself .

 

 

yes, and by your own jealous nature , your own sexual immaturity, your lack of insight and unbalanced passions  , your lack of consideration .

 

Look, I know what people are going to say about my response  , and your culture and expectations and upbringing  - yatta yatta blah blah

 

But you did come here seeking advice, with an open question in a forum that contains  advice from wise westerners    

 

 

 

 

Go buy a Royal Enfield instated , mush LESS trouble . ( and it comes with a key, so you can be the only person that rides it ! )

 

 

 

 

Really ?   Interesting ,  how far would you go,   $ 1000 ,  $ 10, 000 , stealing , murder  imprisonment  ?

 

Maybe we could do a deal ?

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

Good that you realise this .  One day you might see it not so much as 'cheating' but people being pushed into unknown or unfair contracts , or agreements they feel they had to make becasue honesty  was lacking  or maybe the need for variety and boredom .

 

You do realise this storm of feelings inside you is partially triggered by your own  unbalanced possesional psychology and a mix of  volatile chemical signals inside you, stimulated by reactions with this woman   - 'infatuation'   ( aka 'love' ... of that 'type' ) and it could just 'switch off' and you might 'not feel it any more '   in the future , or even , at any moment .  Susch is the volaatile nature of such reactions .

 

 

 

 

IMO , under these conditions

 

YES

You both could be heading to a life of misery .

 

 

 

 

 would suggest you try and find a different type of love , one that isnt associated with  using the 'object of you love'  as a possession, a jealousy trigger,  a sex machine,  someone you 'tell on to their mother '  ... I mean, man , what a friggen mess 

 

 

 

 

Are you sure about that ?

Great, won't you say anything about the girl ?

It's not like that I can't digest what you all said about my sexual immaturity, possessive mentality, unbalanced passions and so on. 

I just could never understand the so open attitude of westerners towards sex and cheating. May be you can shed some light?

It's generally considered here that 

"Relationship is not something which you make just for fun. It's sacred and loyalty should be practised at all cost. ( Wanna have fun do something else hiking, rafting, painting friggin everything but cheating is wrong)."

May be I have all your mentioned issues that is why I mentioned many times "I may sound foolish". I am not closed to criticism but I don't want anyone passes a judgement on me.

I asked that girl many times that you can tell me if you have someone else in life. She swore many times but never gave me a hint of it. I had talked about that girl with my mother and sister already. It's a big thing in here as love marriages are generally frowned upon by people. She could have stopped me right there because I did all that asking her permission. I took a risk for her and what she gave in return was betrayal. I don't have any problem with her past and I don't care if she has done sex with anyone. I just think what she did was wrong and I have now so much trust issues with everyone. 

I just don't believe any girl anymore. 

What I did by telling her parents was just to teach her a lesson. She could have faced a very big problem if she could have gone to someone else with more sick mentality than me. 

Death is not always physical sometimes people kill you mentally and emotionally. It's what I experienced.

You are always welcome and really some of your points are remarkably perfect. 

On 4/26/2021 at 1:04 PM, con. said:

 

That's what I thought. Talk to her.

If you can discuss the things said in this thread with her, honestly and on equal terms, and you come out of it as a couple, marriage might be an option.

Otherwise it seems as if your question implies you have already decided what you feel to be the right thing to do, right?

 

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Plus: sex will be much better this way. Eye to eye. I promise.

 

I will try to contact her and see what happens. But as most people say I'm thinking about dropping the idea. Hoping to find someone more beautiful than her.

It is not necessary that if she is beautiful then sex will be more enjoyable with her. Am I right ?

15 minutes ago, Master Logray said:

 

Why you don't ask for advice from Indian forums?  It can be done anonymously.  They sure can offer great advices as they know the situation better than from here?

 

Since other members are giving their wisdom, a technical advice may be useful.   In Buddhist training, they have a white bones meditation, which is visualizing your desired persons to be bones (1 day they will be).  Outer beauty will end up being bones.  It would greatly reduce your desire.  I am not Buddhist and if you are interested, sure some member can give you detail procedures.

 

Another way is to predict how this beautiful woman will look like in 10, 20, 30 years.  80% of the chance, she will look like her mother.   Do you really want to marry a woman look like her mother and stay with her for your whole life?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I guess, Wisdom has no territories. That is why I am asking question here. I want to know the answer generally without any cultural influence.

1 hour ago, Taomeow said:

The girl was in some kind of relationship with another boy when she met you?  A relationship that was not sexual and started when she was 16?  Well... unless she explicitly swore eternal exclusivity, love and devotion to either him or you (and was not coerced, blackmailed or threatened in any way if she did swear it),  I don't think she has made a commitment to him, I don't think she owed him -- or you -- or anyone any exclusive rights on her company.  She was exploring the new and uncharted territory, the world of love, as teenagers do -- in a way considerably more restrained and, if I may use the word, innocent, than what most teenagers do in most Western cultures these days.  Weren't you when you were her age?..  And even if you were not, how much do you know about her need for love, about how frustrated she was not getting it anywhere -- beginning with her own family, where her own mother views her as a commodity to trade rather than a human being to love?

 

The differences between what society accepts for men looking for what they need and for women looking for what they need are staggering and infuriating if you ask me.  Even in this thread you see this "looking for sex with no strings attached is fine for men but a no-no for women" attitude -- "just don't get married," don't get hooked they say but looking to have sex at all costs is fine as long as you don't commit yourself.  Well, men's commitment to sex comes without the kind of price tag it entails for women -- they don't get pregnant from it, see, nor damage their health with hormonal contraception, nor get abortions, nor give birth should sex turn out to produce a pregnancy the woman can't or won't terminate.  So one thing to understand which I don't think is understood widely is that whatever needs women are trying to get met in a relationship are, at the very least, not smaller than whatever needs men are trying to get met for themselves -- including sex.   There's passionate women out there, women who need sex as much as men or more -- it's just that for them the hurdles in getting the kind with no strings attached are usually much greater.  So one thing I would want to advise is, examine yourself, know what your needs are as a human being, including but not limited to sex, what else is driving you  -- then try to imagine that the girl's needs are at least no smaller than that, not drastically different and not something insignificant compared to yours -- and take it from there.  If you can accept equality in that respect, chances are she will have no need and no desire to "cheat" ever again.  If you love her rather than use her, chances are she will pay in kind.  She's not all that different from you.  As my first teacher put it, "tao is not unlike you."  

 

Other than that...  strangely enough, a survey of marriages in cultures where they are arranged by parents vs. those where partners make their own choices proved that spouses in arranged marriages rated theirs as "happy" more than twice more often than spouses in self-chosen unions.  Strange but true.  Maybe the reason is that parents are, generally speaking, more experienced in making life's choices than children?  It's a hit-or-miss for everyone though.  Luck is a player too.  Those who assert that marriage is overrated weren't the luckiest and have that experience as their frame of reference.  Those who were lucky often believe it's the most important part of life, the part that can make or break it.  Having or not having true love and devotion in one's life is the foundation on which it can stand strong -- or crumble.  

 

Also I can ask the I Ching on your behalf.  I'm a fairly experienced diviner.    

Very insightful answer. But I guess this is not always the case. Some people are cheaters by choice. She did swore many times to me that she has no other boy in her life. I asked her many times if she wants a casual relationship. But she never gathered the courage to tell me and obviously I leaned more towards her. 

But this point can also be defended by saying that may be she was childish and people often make childish decisions while exploring unknown territories. Then I guess in such way adultery can also be made to look like a childish mistake, whereas it can have devastating effects on other person's life. 

It should be same for everyone be it a boy or a girl. Cheating should never be encouraged. If a person wants to experiment with multiple partners it should be made clear in the beginning. He/she should never be in a serious relationship and whatever it costs they must be ready to pay that cost. If they are doing so while being in a serious relationship it may cost their relationship also. I don't think anything is wrong here.

What do you think, Taomeow?

It would be great if you can ask I Ching on my behalf. I can provide you more details in Inbox.

31 minutes ago, dwai said:

That is very sad that you look at life in such a mercantile manner. Is that all a relationship is to you? An opportunity to have sex and procreate? 
 

Let me ask you, do you have a spiritual practice? What does your spiritual tradition have to say about this kind of mentality? 

Imagine if people treated the important women in your life in the terms you just expressed - possessions, commodity, sex as a currency, and so on.
 

Does that seem unpleasant (to put it mildly)? Remember, what we put out into this universe, sooner or later will return back to us. The wise will put in compassion, love, goodness. 
 

It doesn’t matter what others do, we must keep our flame clean, and burning with love and kindness. Let go of this desire to possess or to seek revenge — I think @silent thunder said it best — your best revenge will be to learn from this experience and live a happy life, when you find the right person. Looks don’t last — the body will become a bag of bones, sagging flesh and wrinkled skin with time.
 

What matters is the person who the body belongs to. How loving and kind their heart is, how empathetic their mind is, etc etc.

 

I do understand what you want to say. But I don't look at all women this way. I want to say she is a cheater and they need something from me which I can provide. So what is wrong in my thinking. I would have easily left her if she had got married with someone. But now I see an opportunity in front of me which has put me in this dilemma. I think my situation of power( I am in control of this situation) along with strong desire to get her is something which is confusing me.

If I were helpless, I would have never thought about so many situations. 

14 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

I´ll add my vote to the "don´t do it" column.  She´s obviously not ready for the long-term commitment that is marriage.  Then again -- is it OK if I say this? -- neither are you.  At least not where she is concerned.  Going into a marriage with the idea that the relationship will be short-term and for sex is not going to turn out well for anyone.  And on top of it all, the migration to Canada thing!  Nothing in the scenario you´ve written suggests a loving union.  

 

If you´re in a space of seeking mostly sexual pleasure (and hey, I´ve been there) you can do so without getting married.  I would be honest about what you´re looking for and call things what they are.  You realize you might sound childish and have said so.  That´s OK.  Go ahead and be childish but don´t get married.  Have sex instead if that´s what you want.  Or don´t.  But save marriage for when you´re ready for it and are in a relationship with someone who is ready for it.  Hope I don´t sound harsh.  Just my two cents.

I understand but there is no other way to have sexual relations with her. In India, sex is considered like a sacred thing and teenagers and young couples (outside marriage) make out with each other but don't do penetrative sex (in majority of cases). It is indigestible for me. There is just one option that I offer her a way out of India and ask for sexual favors from her. Otherwise, I think it's totally out of my reach and I can't see a way through it.