VELLY

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About VELLY

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  1. Relationship advice

    But it's important to have legal conditions(like in marriage). What you are talking about is possible for people with a very refined character and such utopian societies dont exist anywhere. jealousy is often considered a part of a relationship. I mean to say its one of the outcomes of going in any relationship and its not possible to avoid it unless a person is a highly realized being. Social norms and legal conditons do have there place. Love under will is very right but I guess some restrictions are also a part. I don't want to say let the love turn toxic but these restrictions force a person to give a second try to a weakening relation.
  2. Relationship advice

    What kind of societal, family and cultural monstrosities are we talking about. Aren't these institutions for the benefit of humans? I think it happens because if a man did sex with a virgin or a married woman he did not need to face any consequences, whereas in the past a female had to bear all the consequences. She had to face hardships of pregnancy, moreover it also lead to mixing of races or castes that's why I think women were more severely punished. Men were considered perpetrators, and it was women who needed to protect their chastity. I think it's kind of victim blaming where women were fooled (seduced) and also they were the ones who got the punishment. I mean to say it's wrong to mistreat the weak; both gender should get equal punishment (or a chance to penance). In the modern times such cases dont exist hence double standards should not be there. Its a step in the right direction. Lies and betrayal should not be there in a relationship. Exclusivity is not necessary (should not be demanded also unless married) but at least someone should not make fake promises regarding it.
  3. Relationship advice

    The nature of game may vary. I think you are perfectly right. That's why every relationship is unique. Taomeow, some of the games may be pretty dirty then. Would it be correct to say then that 'everything is fair in love and war' ? In developing nations crime related to women is so much more and it's because the males ( majority) justify their criminal acts saying such proverbs. I do believe it's very much wrong. But there should be some way out. Is sexual expression of freedom that way? Then adultery would be justified. I think it's too messed up.
  4. Relationship advice

    Great, won't you say anything about the girl ? It's not like that I can't digest what you all said about my sexual immaturity, possessive mentality, unbalanced passions and so on. I just could never understand the so open attitude of westerners towards sex and cheating. May be you can shed some light? It's generally considered here that "Relationship is not something which you make just for fun. It's sacred and loyalty should be practised at all cost. ( Wanna have fun do something else hiking, rafting, painting friggin everything but cheating is wrong)." May be I have all your mentioned issues that is why I mentioned many times "I may sound foolish". I am not closed to criticism but I don't want anyone passes a judgement on me. I asked that girl many times that you can tell me if you have someone else in life. She swore many times but never gave me a hint of it. I had talked about that girl with my mother and sister already. It's a big thing in here as love marriages are generally frowned upon by people. She could have stopped me right there because I did all that asking her permission. I took a risk for her and what she gave in return was betrayal. I don't have any problem with her past and I don't care if she has done sex with anyone. I just think what she did was wrong and I have now so much trust issues with everyone. I just don't believe any girl anymore. What I did by telling her parents was just to teach her a lesson. She could have faced a very big problem if she could have gone to someone else with more sick mentality than me. Death is not always physical sometimes people kill you mentally and emotionally. It's what I experienced. You are always welcome and really some of your points are remarkably perfect.
  5. Relationship advice

    I will try to contact her and see what happens. But as most people say I'm thinking about dropping the idea. Hoping to find someone more beautiful than her. It is not necessary that if she is beautiful then sex will be more enjoyable with her. Am I right ?
  6. Relationship advice

    I guess, Wisdom has no territories. That is why I am asking question here. I want to know the answer generally without any cultural influence.
  7. Relationship advice

    Very insightful answer. But I guess this is not always the case. Some people are cheaters by choice. She did swore many times to me that she has no other boy in her life. I asked her many times if she wants a casual relationship. But she never gathered the courage to tell me and obviously I leaned more towards her. But this point can also be defended by saying that may be she was childish and people often make childish decisions while exploring unknown territories. Then I guess in such way adultery can also be made to look like a childish mistake, whereas it can have devastating effects on other person's life. It should be same for everyone be it a boy or a girl. Cheating should never be encouraged. If a person wants to experiment with multiple partners it should be made clear in the beginning. He/she should never be in a serious relationship and whatever it costs they must be ready to pay that cost. If they are doing so while being in a serious relationship it may cost their relationship also. I don't think anything is wrong here. What do you think, Taomeow? It would be great if you can ask I Ching on my behalf. I can provide you more details in Inbox.
  8. Relationship advice

    I do understand what you want to say. But I don't look at all women this way. I want to say she is a cheater and they need something from me which I can provide. So what is wrong in my thinking. I would have easily left her if she had got married with someone. But now I see an opportunity in front of me which has put me in this dilemma. I think my situation of power( I am in control of this situation) along with strong desire to get her is something which is confusing me. If I were helpless, I would have never thought about so many situations.
  9. Relationship advice

    I understand but there is no other way to have sexual relations with her. In India, sex is considered like a sacred thing and teenagers and young couples (outside marriage) make out with each other but don't do penetrative sex (in majority of cases). It is indigestible for me. There is just one option that I offer her a way out of India and ask for sexual favors from her. Otherwise, I think it's totally out of my reach and I can't see a way through it.
  10. Relationship advice

    I don't trust her at all but the desire to get her once has just become too strong. I may seem childish but I think that what if she leaves me, at least I would be with her for short time ( in short - a sexual relationship with her is I desire the most ). Actually I am an IELTS tutor and have myself applied for permanent residency in Canada which I may get this year. She is weak in English and they want to marry me with her because it can be the easiest method for her to migrate to Canada. I don't believe in permanency of relationships and think that it's like a deal I'm providing her an opportunity in favor of getting sexual pleasures. Obviously, I can't discuss such issues with my parents or anyone else so that is why I considered it as a platform to get advice from some mature and wise people.
  11. Relationship advice

    My age is 27(M) and she is 21(F). I am from India. We belong to different religions Hinduism(my) and Sikhism (her).
  12. Relationship advice

    Hi community, I have a short story to tell and one request that please don't judge me. I know that I can get very useful advice here because many of you have read great scriptures and some of the wisest people on internet can be found here. I was in a relationship with a girl for last 8 months. She was from a conservative family and her mixing with boys was not liked. I was in relationship with her for last 8 months. Recently, I got to know she has been in a relationship with some other boy also for last 5 years. So she was cheating me and also the other guy. Her past is shady and has two or three relationships like this in the past. When I got to know about the other boy I was so furious and wanted to take revenge in some way. But a wise lady suggested me to control my anger and wait for a few days. I did the same but somehow I could not stop thinking about revenge and finally told everything to her mother. She was beaten and scolded, though I insisted to her mother that please don't punish her and let her free. Tbh, I wanted an end to this story so I thought that may be her mother will marry her with that boy and I will make my mind understand that she is no more mine. But things happened the other way. Her mother called me in the evening and said to me if I will marry her daughter. I didn't say yes but I know she is never going to marry her daughter with that person and I am always a option for them because I am highly educated than her and also earning a lot more. Now my question is I am totally blinded by the beauty of that girl. She has become like a priceless possession for me and I want her at all cost. Until I have that choice to marry her I can't stop thinking about her. May be I sound foolish but that's the true story. I sometimes think what if she stays with me for a short time (if cheats me) ,in any case relationships are not absolute in nature. Couples cheat each other so many times in life. Would I be wrong if I decide to marry her? because in any case she is not going to get married with her choice of boy. Moreover, I know her and love her too so please enlighten me on this situation. Thanks in advance.
  13. Coitus Reservatus and chi(veerya)

    Then why is this advice so prevalent to conserve semen? To be honest, I have also been trying it for some months. I do non-ejaculatory sex with my partner and after that do some squats and cooling exercises (inner smile). I have done a lot of reading on this topic. Tao of health sex and longevity(Daniel Reed) The Tao of love and sex (Jolan Chang) Dr. Lin of Actionlove.com Lujan Matus (Parallelperception.com) Micheal Winn and Mantak Chia Videos What I have noticed among all is that they agree on the viewpoint of non-ejaculatory sex and they cite many benefits of it also. Daniel Reed in his book says that prostate can reabsorb the seminal fluids. However, along with it they also mention the need of cooling exercises and moderation of ejaculation. I want to know what are your views regarding this topic?
  14. Majority of the taoists and Indian tantra gurus advice against coitus reservatus, however there are some who do not vehemently disagree with its efficacy. For instance, mantak chia in his book says that it does help to save the male seed but leads to congestion and can ultimately lead to the failure of prostate. Another tao master Lujan Matus(ParallelPerception.com) in one discussion advices " Just remember you can make love to your partner and withhold your semen and when it becomes unbearable let it go outside of your partner's body". I asked question in the same discussion regarging it but could not get a reply. I also tried asking the same question from Dr. Lin (ActionLove.com) and got a somewhat confusing answer. He says that when we do coitus reservatus the semen may go back to the bladder which is ultimately wasted. He did not tell me about why and how? I want to know who is correct? Where does the semen go If we reach on the verge of orgasm but decline its outlet? Is it reabsorbed or goes to the bladder? If it goes to the bladder then why some masters say that it saves male seed? I urge all of you to not misinterpret it as a sexual topic. There is so much confusion regarding it on the internet and a good discussion can be of great service to the husbands who are practising this half baked information.