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Karma Peruvian style

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Here's a story I heard in Peru. Now the interesting thing about some remote places there is that Christianity, superimposed over earlier local belief systems, differs from Christianity of Europe or North America or elsewhere not only because of this mix-and-match superimposition (which is quite common everywhere) but because, due to the remoteness of some places and very limited interactions with the outside world for centuries, it can still be found in the shape and form it was introduced by the first padres there. Some Christian celebrations have been carried out in exactly the same manner for the past 500 years, longer than anywhere else Christianity is practiced, and are quite peculiar to a modern eye that only sees the new and improved and PC versions... E.g., they celebrate the Death of Christ in Ayacucho, it's a three-day affair when every devout Christian engages in heavy drinking, orgiastic sex, and violent behavior, because supposedly god is dead at this time and no one is watching, and any sins committed during this period will go unrecorded and unpunished.


Anyway, to my story... This one I heard in Iquitos, the largest town on Earth not reachable by road.


A rich man and a poor man died and went to heaven. God looked at them both and said, whoa, we have a place of purity and balance here, and you two... hmm... let's see... He turns to the poor man and says, I see your life was total shit, you spent its every moment shoveling shit, so here's what you look like to me... -- and he orders his angels to cover the poor man in a thick layer of shit, head to toe. Then he turns to the rich man and says, I see your life was sweet as honey, you spent every moment of it enjoying the sweetness of your privileged position, so here's what you look like to me... and he orders his angels to cover the man in honey, head to toe.


"And now," god concludes, "before you can get to a place of purity and balance, you two have to lick each other clean. Get to work!"

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