Papayapple

"When sloth and torpor are present and energy is weak, we do the best we can. When they are absent, energy will naturally be stronger. Rather than berating yourself when you are tired or praising yourself when you are alert, JUST KEEP PRACTICING. Certainly it will help reveal the precious beauty of your own mind." So ultimately not much can be done huh? I began meditating daily in one form or the other about 3years ago, and now I feel I am much less able to stiĺl the mind. It used to be something incredible you know? If it's going to be like that all the way then I'm going to abandon it sooner or later.

Yes the point #1 is what allows me to get up and do it without much hesitation. And sticking to a daily minimum is smart as well. Thank you for reminding me. Its just that when I do it every day it becomes sort of vague and boring for lack of better words now. If I medotate once a week it seems to get much deeper, and doing it daily often results in just "sitting through" it. I notice that with everything else as well. Reading, studying, listening even walking! How can I progress when this keeps happening? It looks like the more I try to disciscipline myself the less I believe it's working? Should I exercise faith more? Like in prayer? I never heard somebody put these ideas in such a concise way... I'm moved and inspired by your words manitou.

+1 haha.

UPDATE OK so it's been a little over 4 weeks since I moved and only now I have a regular internet connection. My laptop broke the very same day, leaving me with only a copy of Tao te Cing for knowledge and BKFs Water Meditation CD. Being removed from all the distractions I finally allowed myself to be focused on practising. With Water Meditation CD I had interesting results after just a week. Sadly after few more I think I hit an invisible wall, stopping me from going deeper. I think it's name starts with D and rhymes with trout! Can you guess? I mean I have trouble believing that breathing with my back and solar plexus will nourish my inner organs and help the flow of chi... Mainly because the more I try to feel it happening the more I tense up. My intestines and pancreas as well as kidneys are giving me trouble most of the day so maybe thats why its so hard for me to relax and stop worrying. On the other side my stomach is a lot better now and you may find it interesting how it happened. First I took BES advice and looked up the GAPS diet, since I knew I had deficiencies, probably long before the breakdown. At first eating mostly meatstock and chicken and eggs felt like a good move, but I think it was just the fat increase which sort of started to lubricate my gut (just a feeling). But pretty soon I got swollen, felt tired and kind of dirty, sticky and smelly. Didn't like it. What finally helped was actually going to a freaking doctor(or maybe it was visiting the Van Gogh museum the very same day?). A kinesiologist(again recommended by BES- thank you madame! :*) tested me and advised avoiding sweet fruits, grains, lactose and nightshades. She prescribed me an enzyme and suggested rice and ghee. I am depleted of B vitamins, and most minerals too. According to her I have parasites and lack good gut flora (I dont know if shes correct, but eating tons of garlic feels very good on my belly). The results were almost immidiete. After a week I'm having normal stools, I am less bloated and way way less nouseus. The terrible acid reflux I had for years is now diminishing! Magnesium flakes on the skin and in a footbath has been helping my muscles tremendously, so I can finally somehow withstand a 10h work day. The doctor told me many interesting things which could lead to a more complete understanding of my depletion, and I should probably make another thread describing my progress. Some time soon. Meanwhile, I'm still figuring out the very basics of life. Sleeping, walking, talking to people and ofcourse food. Im only worried now about the amount of ghee I use. Its like at least 80g a day. But boy that thing is gold truth be told.

Thank you all for the insights! No computer keyboard to elaborate atm. Meditate on all of this I will.

Awesome thread. I try to do relaxing disolving breaths in between the tasks at work. Factory work is awesome if you have to do just one simple movement every 10 seconds. You then usually have 5-8 to meditate!

Discovered TDB about six months ago, in the midst of a furious research in alchemy and esoterism. There is no point in being just a spectator of this forum as I'm coming to conclusion that for the last six months all I've been doing was gathering tons of PDF's about everything and nothing, while at the same time just barely scratching the surface of perhaps already too many practices I wish to pursue. I feel writing may actually help settle my mind on a firm and stable path. Surprised I was to find that Taoism had anything to do with magick, and my life's first real personal passion, the martial arts. Don't know how to introduce myself. I'm a typical 21st century kid. I started training Karate Kyokushin at the age of 12 I think. Lost the drive after about 4 years, when playing drums and guitar had completely taken over my soul. At that time, my vitality also started to deteriorate. At age of 18 I stumbled upon Tao Te Cing and started listening to Alan Watts lectures for eons. My brain was undergoing a complete reprogramming and reconditioning. A year later my health condition caused me to seek help in meditation and yoga. But these seemed so limited and subtle I couldn't stick with it. Then I took a yang style Tai Chi class and it had me. That one day I reconnected with the long lost feeling from childhood time, when I was running around the house concentrating and throwing chi balls everywhere all the time lol. Unfortunately I couldn't afford regular training at the time. OK, what I really need to say is I am finally eager to join your courtyard for one reason primarily: I don't know. I used to think I was indestructible, but now I'm doubting it. I used to think everybody except me was a fool, now I feel it's the opposite. I used to think music was the only thing worth living for, now I don't know. I used to think psychodelics were the best way to understand the nature of reality, deal with my "depression", and "heal my traumas", and now I don't know. I thought the answer lied in dreams and I needed to access the subconscious in order to realize what is hindering me from healing and enjoying life. And I don't really know because the 45 day fast I did worked wonders on my psyche and my body. I feel now about 70% revitalized(meaning I feel more like I did at 13). I was so sure the above things had a strong potential, but they seem minuscule now in comparison to fasting and keeping good diet, hydration, sleep and exercise. And also I thought raw vegan fruit based diet was ideal(mainly because it's appealing to me and seems to be most natural), but again I'm not that sure right now... I don't even know how to set an avatar on my profile haha. I have like 20 tags of Bums topics opened in my browser and it's growing. Too much! I'm overwhelmed! For now there are only two things left I'm still fairly certain of are: 1. Change is the only constant. 2. Staying in the present works better for me than not staying in the present. I am enthusiastic though. Eager to learn, and eager to take advice from the more experienced. I feel I might also be able to contribute, once I finally decide what the hell do I want to explore. Maybe one day I will talk like zen master everybody here reminds me of LOL PS. Please please point out any English grammar and word misuses I might be making in my posts. It's not my native language though I care a lot to perfect it. OK. I'm sleepy, time to bed. Cheers.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Yes I already stumbled upon Rawn Clark while reading your post in another thread and I am intrigued. I really dig working with the senses. Will try it out. Glenn Morris is also very cool. What Wim Hof program are you refering to? Are you talking about the book becoming the iceman? That's the only thing I could find from this author. ...build your practice from rest, hmm thats profound! What is the elegant meditation? Can you expand upon dissolving? I wanted to add I'm a little concerned about all this cultivation of the basics. Since getting the basics down is the most crucial thing, everybody talks about how it must take a long time, why not just assume that's all is needed and stick to it for the rest of my life? After all, if it's all about relaxing, and letting go...

Hello everyone, I'm lucky there is a general introduction thread, as I'm battling myself whether I should start one big topic with a list of questions I'm dying to ask, or should I start a few different ones, or even try searching for similar threads. But given that everybody has specific and individual needs I doubt I will find definitive answers in the earlier suggestions. I feel I can count on you guys, just please tell me how should I formulate these issues. I mainly need to discuss three things: 1.Dieting, resting, working/studying management. 2. Meditation, Martial, Healing practices. 3. Philosophical development and expanding mystical knowledge(though I'm not sure how much of this stuff do I really need ). Would it be ok If I just made a thread explaining exactly what my health condition and life situation is? And than ask about my choice of disciplines/routines I'd like to incorporate? Maybe I'm to cautious or whatever but I really want to do it right this time, and receive enough serious advice. Thank you!

Thank you! The book seems fairly accessible compared to The Root of Chinese Chi Kung I've been trying to study. I just need a kindle!