WadeGarret

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  1. Chi in head. Confusion.

    I'm a bit annoyed as I sometimes wake up cloudy headed. Usually 2 weeks into my celibacy this always happens. As I do breathing exercises I attempt to bring the chi to circulate it. I feel it go to the top of my head but sometimes I get dizzy like I want to fall and then I feel the expansion of the chi around me. When my chi is high and I have expanded around me I sometimes feel confused likewise, if I exhale and hold my breath on an exhale it's like an inward sucking. The problem with that is I noticed people tend to run into me a lot or follow me closely like driving down the road Etc. Very annoying. I guess the goal is to have my chakras open my chi expanded but without the Spacey headed feeling. Maybe I should quit caffeine as it feels like caffeine tends to block the crown chakra just an observation in other words caffeine tends to block the chakra and it seems that it is an energy hindrance I know you guys think I'm crazy but if I'm driving down the road and I exhale and hold my breath I can affect the way people drive sometimes they will drive slower. Like if I'm in a store and I do the exhale and word sucking I can bring People's Energy towards me. This usually leads to people kind of coming closer to my personal space running into me very annoying. If I take a deep inhale hold my breath she Rises to the top of head expands insertive and outwardly explosion and I get lightheaded but also anybody that is around me might get annoyed suddenly and go away
  2. I suppose this started when I grew my hair out. I get these longings to be in the forest or away from society. It seems that it is the only place where my body feels restored. But it depends on where I go. I remember I drove 40 miles to a place and I could feel I restore ation of my body as if my muscles are relaxed and my mind began to clear. This happens in certain areas, the Wilderness or high-energy places interesting Lee at a few Indian reservations. Obviously I've come to learn then I am energy sensitive. When I cut my hair last year I felt as if everyone's thoughts were invading my mind, and I remember taking a drive down the road, I unbuckled my seatbelt and I was ready to jump out and fight the guy behind me. I'm practicing celibacy I have to remain calm and also guard my thoughts, not to send out thoughts of little indent or my grumpy thoughts, as I find a return. I stay with a relative and when I cut my hair, basically whenever I was around this relative I would get very sharp pains in the tooth and head region. Well this was around the time I was picking up vibrations to the phone. I know, y'all think I'm crazy. The funny thing is I was talking to my sister around that time and she's a very spiritual person. I remember feeling a great warmth and light coming from above when talking to her. And I also remember being able to feel people's anger through the phone. Maybe someone could shed some light on to what that was? When I was with this relative I remember we came home and after everybody left I felt an extreme sharp pain in my head and mouth area. It was crazy. I went on to sort of " confront" the relative on what it was but they denied anything. I thought celibacy and quitting drinking, sugar, and spending less time on the internet would have made me a stronger person. Now I pick up on everything lol. Sometimes when this relative visits I know they're home before I even get home. As I drive into my neighborhood I tend to pick up these vibrations. They're sort of like and annoyed anger vibration. I wonder if it has something to do with where you sleep, because I think we're one sleeps they establish sort of their root of their vibrations. Anywho, when this relative came to visit I picked up on all these hostile vibes. And I really didn't want to be home in fact I would have much rather sleep than my car out on the outskirts of town are near a forest but hey it's where I live. A little bit of background, the relative I speak of is on medications including antidepressants. Well it has come to my attention that these type of medications induce a condition which is known as "akathesia induced impulsivity" This condition is basically the feeling you want to explode. This feeling of wanting to explode, is completely overrated by the medication, so your body has this insane feeling but it is completely ignored. This condition was a term coined by Kelly Brogan if you're interested in reading more about it. My point is, I feel that I was picking up on these vibrations big time, with my relative who takes these medications,. Any opinions are appreciated and thank you for reading. Someone mention the word SEER, I do not consider myself a seer just somebody who basically can pick up the vibrations of a general area. Depending on how I'm doing my moods energy levels diet Etc. Once in a blue moon I'll get a dream that sends me a message but other than that I'm pretty average.
  3. Seriously Need some Help

    Thanks for the response is everybody. Prayer has gotten me out of the lower regions I guess you could say. Declarative prayer and thankfulness. Coffee has proven more of an energy reducer at this point I think I drink just out of habit. I notice I am more calm if I go without coffee so that is going to be the next take away. The days following a prayer there is a great height and of my senses and it's almost as if my perception has been expanded a couple miles. Only way I can describe it is looking at the clouds it looks as if they are far off. Any of this told to the rational World obviously would put you in the looney bin and that's why I do not share this with anyone no longer. I just go about my business in life. I have found different than use of gaining money by way of I suppose divine intervention, meaning I had to had things sort of hinted to me. For instance before the Bitcoin bubble my mind was overtaken with thoughts of it, namely because I had been praying for income. I now make a small income right down the street from where I live and have investment opportunities all from declarative prayer. So there's no doubt I feel that there is a Divine creator that looks out after us. Okay preaching aside, I also want to mention that the role of pornography. I used to fall prey to that a few times last year and following it is sort of like destroying or spiritual Foundation. I tend to find a month after falling into that Things become very unstable and lots of bad luck. I have sworn to not watch that stuff anymore. That also could be a part of some of the imbalances spiritually and energetically and mentally as well as it tends to in my opinion distort who you are spiritually, hormonal e, and physically energy states Etc. As I progressed I'm doing a little bit better as long as I do not fall into that that have it I want that. Sorry about the grammar. Caffeine and bad Diet also contribute to physical hormonal imbalances and I'm working on eating better and eventually eliminating caffeine and maybe going vegan just to be a more balanced person. I do eat a lot of bad food by the way so that might be at 2. As far as the supernatural stuff happening well, I pray a lot so I do not haven't seen anything. Stopped meditation and don't think I'll be picking that up anytime soon given the fact that well it seems some channels have been opened. I'm not full on witnessing things as others have stated I do not see spirits or any of that stuff but I have also been praying and don't really let my mind go towards those negative aspects. I can attest that being in the presence of a person that I know who has been Afflicted with something, certain phenomenon had happened that I don't want to delve into. What I do want to touch on, and mainly the reason why I am here, is this crazy phenomenon of feeling the absolute warmth of the sun's radiating waves. Since I have grown my hair longer it does not happen as strongly. And I read in some Hindu texts that the hair does act as sort of a spiritual protection or barrier. But this has something to do with me picking up the vibrations of people through the phone last year, when my hair was short. I remember driving down the road and it felt like everybody's energy was " entering the skull region" I literally wanted to get out of my car and fight the person behind me. Without explanation it was as if I was driven mad. Pulled over and had to calm down. Definitely some things going on there that are in explainable. And it is only through prayer and thankfulness to the Creator or God, as you would say that I am able to move and stand forward and do things in life to this day I'm sure I would probably be in a nut house by now. Back to the topic at hand, and this phenomenon of if I tend to doze off in an app someplace, doesn't matter where I'm at, be at a job or my own backyard, that's when they sons radiating waves begin to emanate down. I once was watching a video on meditation and it spoke about " cosmic energy" which basically comes down from the universe and energizes your mind at cetera. And up until last year I had never experienced that. If I meditate under the sun eventually I could feel that warmth radiating throughout my entire body depending on my mood Etc. Truth is I got tired of meditation and the effects of it and just wanted to be normal so I stopped completely. I guess my question to whoever is reading this is, if anyone has been here or has experienced these things, what would you say is the explanation for this? The closest I can think of is as a man denies himself, through celibacy, meditation, and it wasn't until I quit alcohol, and then I quit all forms of the internet and basically only read books all day, living a sort of Monk lifestyle, was when it felt like I was passing through to the other side and that's when these things started to happen. I suppose my question to anybody here is what would you say is going on and what would be your explanation of it? Through the grace of God and continual prayer to make myself normal into just have a normal life I think I'm not as sensitive or maybe I don't feel that all the time. I guess my question is what do you guys think is happening or has happened in the past. And what are your words of caution? Another thing to that used to happen thank God it stopped. Is I used to see black dots swirl about. They would be on particular people. I want to say they were on people who were under the influence of substances like maybe marijuana. They were black dots that would appear out of nowhere and swirl around and disappear. At first I thought they were flies or bugs but then realized they weren't actually there. So at this point I know people reading this will say well this man has a mental illness, you are free to think that, but I begin to wonder that people who dabble in meditation or perhaps try to have their third eye open may have been pronounce this. My family has no history of this type of thing never was I on medication and I had only done things to purify myself in a sense, meditation celibacy Etc. Well my point is, after prayer, declarative prayer and thankfulness to the creator of all my life has been getting better slowly but incrementally. I suppose I just question what all that stuff was. And sometimes the things I experience or feel once in awhile. Here's another thing. I went to Arizona to visit family. The week that I left, there was a massive. UFO sighting in the general region where I stay. Which spooked me as well. But it wouldn't surprise me given that well, literally seeing the color of the sky change upon meditation makes me wonder what exactly would be going on. As far as Kundalini and Chi and all of that, I have not really felt or experienced much of that in my body I suppose when I cut my hair short my body became more sensitive and overactive to Chi as I did feel some pretty crazy things. I was about 30 days into my celibacy and I remember walking around the park and my body did feel Electric to the point where it was almost unbearable? So as they say long hair acts as an antenna of sorts I think it also helps keep me somewhat grounded. I also feel quitting caffeine will be a big step in torch calmness of the body. I know a lot of this sounds completely crazy and insane so I thank you for your patience and understanding and responding and please take time. I'm only here for understanding and I do appreciate all responses as this has been probably one of the craziest things I've ever been through. I suppose if I could go back I would never have growing my hair long and I probably would never have meditated but hey that's life right?
  4. Seriously Need some Help

    I have been telling the story repeatedly on various forums and hopes to get help but sadly have not been able to get much information. I get commentary once in awhile but that's about it. Sometimes a little bit of scoffing. First of all I just want to say I am agnostic, I believe in a Creator and that there is some type of intelligence or God that looks out after us and I have experienced it. However that being said, I have been going through a lot of what some might call probable imbalances in the past year or so that I haven't really figured out. I've only read that energy and hair length coincide on a spiritual level from Indian philosophy not so much Qui-Gon. Everything I say in this story is true and not fabricated. 3 years ago I begin to meditate heavily, roughly 2 hours every morning for about 6 months. In that time I was growing my hair long. Hair became down to shoulder length. Occasionally visualize something like in my mind that I wanted but not much came from that sort of practice. With the two hours of meditation every morning I became very disassociated and begin to will a barrier between me and the general population that seem to only be mitigated by going near open areas. Going to the ocean, going to an abandoned Park, hiking trail 2 miles on the outskirts of society. Eventually two miles turned into 30 miles and then into 40 miles and these trips were becoming a longer and longer. I was a hardcore meditator and was practicing celibacy, I still practice celibacy but in terms of meditation I remember trying to meditate in an apartment one morning and I could not get into my state. I then found myself compelled to drive 40 miles into the Wilderness inland of California to escape a strange feeling. Everything in me was compelled to be at one with nature. In fact every time I meditated that feeling would hit me immediately within 20 minutes and I would have to be out in the open or in a field and I was becoming increasingly disconnected and disassociated with Society. So I dropped meditation. I continued celibacy but my hair length through and I still had a Detachment from society. There is an Indian religion and I've only found one page speaks of hair lengths role in energy and how it functions. As my hair was long I was able to pick up a job doing emergency roadside assistance, probably through my own prayer. Interesting Lee at that company there were two men that work there who had long dreadlocks so that probably was a moment of synchronicity. As for me, every few weeks into celibacy I always had to gather energy from nature. It was a requirement of my body to move on the outskirts of society and absorb energy. I-Ready page about hair and its relation to the spirit and vibrations in a man, and how long hair in a man can produce vibrations of irritability and imbalance if one is not careful and live a very aesthetic life. (Sp) - So for about 3 years I got very good at understanding myself with long hair and for three years every two or three weeks I would take a trip on the outskirts of town either by a trail, or down the road by the rocks, or sometimes depending on my thoughts and energy level I would drive way out of town. Meditation also open me up to cosmic energy and I would feel the energy of certain places especially wide open valleys, or certain hiking trails with the trees, almost as if the very piece of nature would be absorbed into my entire being. There are certain places I can drive right now, and I would feel a lightness of my head, and energy flow through my body and my bones and my mood would change. Nature was forcing me to certain places. It is true that the hair acts as a covering and protection of the mine on an energetic level. People tend to keep their distance and my gauge is averted to most people in my town I'm assuming based upon hair length. Many people would say this is just false beliefs and putting out there but in truth I have experienced it. Then I cut my hair. A week later I was driving down the road and I felt significant waves of energy trying to well let's just say I don't really want to talk about it,. But I cut about two feet length of hair and that really trimmed my aura. I was exposed to everything energetically and I noticed people would approach me more or I felt naked as I drove down the road. I also began to have telepathic experiences over the phone picking up people's energy through the phone. If I sat outside the sunlight in the entire Spear of my aura would expand and things would happen. I would see the sky turn a very light blue in the sun would begin to radiate very hot. If clouds were there they would melt away and hummingbirds, butterflies, and exotic type things would happen. Certain breathing exercises such as bringing the chi up and expanding out to my crown would cause effects in the environment. This sounds pretty strange and I know people won't believe me, but at times I'd be able to make people leave my area. See, having thick layers of hair covering my head acted as a covering to the spiritual Aura and energies I was connected to. And I was not ready for everything that happened and really thought I was losing my mind. Sometimes, and this sounds funny and I know people are going to think this is odd, but if I were to meditate or release certain Chi and certain populated areas, these attractive beautiful girls would start to hover around me or be near me. Or synchronicities would happen like, if I pushed hard on my exhaled hard and released Chi out of my crown chakra I would start syncing up with people in a crowd. Like a man would be walking and then all of a sudden in front of me we would be taking the exact same steps looking at the same places Etc. Different Miracles were happening to at that time, I had distant relatives get in touch with me to reconnect and people that had moved away wanted to be around me all the time but at the same time I was dealing with the world in a strange way constantly feeling the connection to the Divine always opening and closing and I didn't know how to manage it. All it took was 2 minutes of meditation and that portal would open up again so to speak. Well one day I got tired of dealing with all of it so I decided to just jump right back into meditation and basically everything just started completely over and then I just dropped. Practicing celibacy, I'm not always celibate I have a girl friend over the past couple years, but all those hours of meditation and the long hair definitely opened up channels I should say, but also quitting alcohol and practicing celibacy, and then living a hermetic Lifestyle by trying to quit the internet really drastically change things last year. Constantly trying to refine myself. Hair definitely is a factor in the spiritual realm in a sense that, for some reason I had so much sensitivity that when I finally cut my hair it was like cutting down a thick barrier of protection and thus all of the crazy stuff that happened. To this day I couldn't say how it happened, but I know that if I were to go outside in meditate people would feel things but I try I stopped meditating and I don't want that stuff to happen anymore. , for me to say that I was able to manipulate clouds could either be someone's subjective crazy talk or you would just have to take my word for it. I used to go to this spot I would always walk on a trail and send chi in a Direction. When it was done and trust me, I have done this probably 300 * after discovering it, I nearly fall down because she Rises up to the head correct? After looking I would notice the clouds would be changed or manipulated. Truly the only thing that has saved me was declaring faith in a Creator and a God to save me and also prayer, and having faith that there is a Creator there. And understanding that whatever gift that I had or went through it's still there and it is still dormant, as I have grown my hair out long again. But because my hair is long I noticed my energy shifts and I am drawn back to the forest and back out on the outskirts of society, but it is not only and not too many people want to be. But the air is an antenna to the divine as it is written if you Google it. My point in all this? Well I don't really know. I do know that cutting your hair as a man will actually probably sensitize and enhance your Energies. I noticed that my energy was more welcome in public places. Generally I have an anxiety of about five or six in public places around my town. When I cut my hair my anxiety was about 0 or 1 I was more welcome to my energy was more welcome. However I had lost the ability to pick up vibrations from nature after cutting my hair. My best description is, if a man looks like a tree, he becomes the tree. LOL. What I'm writing is just general help on how to not feel all of these strange ups and downs now that my hair's getting longer I still tend to feel I suppose it would be cheesy or energy not really moving or just feeling very restless. I remember when my hair was short come up I actually had more energy and felt younger. Literally I was able to run through my town, this was just last year, I grabbed onto one of those shopping cart holders and flipped on it. What the band roach in the Indian philosophy article was true. A man with long hair attracts different energies sometimes it can slow you down. For instance when I was out in the wilderness it took a long time to pick up energy so that I can feel balanced again. But when I come back home it starts. There's many more I can talk about but I think I'll end on that note all feedback is appreciated. Thank you for reading I would also like to add that if I'm on the phone with certain people for too long I start to feel an absorption in the Crown chakra. There is a particular person that I know of who strangely tends to always have bad vibes. After talking to this person for 15 minutes on the phone I absorb a lot of their energy. In the same way that taking a nap in the sun opens up a sort of portal or high energy Ray be being down, like the sun is beaming hot warm to which I can only describe from watching a YouTube video as cosmic energy The same may happen when talking to someone on the phone who may or may be in certain vibrational States Any help is appreciated. I do want to say that I did look up all of the symptoms I've experienced and it led me to a website called The Awakening which probably has something to do with a Kundalini Awakening witch probably is one of the most scary things to ever go through. I don't think I'll ever feel normal again but I hope to someday but writing this I just want to be able to relax in public for once and not have to feel everything.
  5. When I inhale hold my breath feel the energy rising up to the head crown chakra. Sometimes skylights up everything looks vibrant feel tingling stinging Sensations around arms body does anyone know what this is? Beginning to question the authenticity and experience of the people here
  6. Hello again. I am 35 days in my semen retention. Getting stronger. *Knock on wood* This time, when I do this inhale technique, I clear the negative energy on me, although, I've been getting some headaches. I've cleared negative energy when it attaches itself to me. Also changes the animal activity around me; birds fly away; dragonflies appear, sometimes hummingbirds, but I beleive this depends on karma. In other words, this may sound like some kind of weird thing, but it feels as if these inhale techniques are "Resetting time" - Like I am resetting time on the spot; as different people with certain energy fields appear in my vicinity. usually single mothers or newborn babies; etc- still waiting on an explanation. This has been happening for several months. No one knows what's going on. The cloud thing still works, but back when I was on a high celibacy streak, was doing very well, I had great power with the clouds; I said the word "clouds" every other day so my mind wouldn't wander to sexual thoughts, didn't think I would be controlling them. - All in all, I have stopped meditating so much as I just want to balance out and function in society. Limiting my meditation sessions to 10 minutes, every 3 days or so, have to find the balance. When I clear negative energy, sometimes I see specs, strange formations in the air; to which I believe are spirits, trying to attach themselves; I am helping a mentally disabled person at the moment get social services, so I feel these attatchments on the crown chakra; when I inhale, I see a dispersment of lights that look like little bugs, but appeaarantly aren't there? Also feeling cobweb sensations sometimes, and stinging, I believe are bad energy / spirits.
  7. Update: Been Experimenting with this. I am able to put huge dents in rain clouds. I held my breath felt like i was going to feint. Then... .. held it again. Rain clouds dissipate before my eyes. If I take a nap, all clouds will be gone in the general vicinity.
  8. Will try to derive something.
  9. Quick update. Today I was doing those breathing exercises. Holding my breath, chest out, etc. Felt a "Flame" sensation on top of my head. Not sure what that means. Put my hand on where i felt that flame essence coming out the top of my head, and it felt like water, energy, or some kind of essence eminating. Or like if you put your hand in a spider web but nothing is there. Thoughts?
  10. Now that you mention it, yes. When I meditate, if I meditate for a long session, and look at the sun with my eyes closed, i notice that I tend to absorb the sunlight energy. This energy illuminates my entire body, i also see colors very brightly and feel like I have some hotness about me. Its a nice feeling. It tends to wear off 30mins to an hour after i stop meditate. The next day its dimimished a bit. However, i can temporarily make it come back if i do the breath trick. It also seems to effect my environment and has an influence on people and animal behaviors. Like, im manipulating the energy fields unconciusly Sometimes if I inhale and get that head rush, i almost always see a flock.of birds take off, like they felt something. I also felt a tingling in my fingers lately, thus i am thinking it is.chi.
  11. Hey folks. I'm not sure what this is. I have been meditating, about 3 times a week for about a month. I find bi-daily is a good balance, but I might switch to once a week or every 3 days because my sessions are pretty intense. I practice celibacy, and lately, I'm not sure, but I "THINK" I might be aware of Chi in my body. Anyway, after I meditate, the following few days, I notice I have this weird ability and I don't quite fully understand it. basically, if I take a deep breath, inhale, and hold it, with my backstraight, and my head up, I get a "head rush" - Upon this head rush, I sometimes feel a bit like, I can "Black out" - and I wobble a lot; I've even fallen down a few times. This happens if I only hold my beath for a few seconds and I have to be standing, chest out, and looking up. I have learned now that, as I get that "Black out" feeling if I inhale again really quickly it will save me from falling sort of, like I will catch myself from getting "Wobbly". So why invoke a state of passing out? Here's why. If I perform this technique, I notice that depending on what I am looking at, I'm not sure, I tend to absorb the energy of it. - I notice if I am looking at the sky, a tree, the sun, or something nature-like, I will get this rush of energy; and as I recover from the semi-black out, everything looks extremely vibrant. The sky lights up. Trees glimmer. etc. - In fact, there are times I can work myself up into a state of, well, a slight euphoria of sorts. Sometimes I'll have ephipanies, or flashbacks, or whatever. The effect, usually lasts about 1 minute, but I can do it several times a day if I want to. For instance, if I am feeling stressed, I can take a deep breath and all of the negative vibes within the vicinity will vanish; granted, if I keep my chin and chest out, and maintain eye contact with, the blue sky or something nature. I noticed if I do it, and I am looking at the ground, it tends not to work. I even caught myself doing it, and looked at some flowers; and the essence/smell of the flowers came my way. Still don't know what this means or what its use it. Maybe there is a way to take advantage of this. I am assuming this is Chi/kundalini energy, but I'm not quite sure that, putting myself in a near-black-out, phase is what I want. - Sometimes, if I do it just right, I will lose control of myself and almost fall down, or fall down, and kind of twitch and go into some kind of body convlusions that I can't control. That last time I did that, I was sort of jittering, knees were shaking, and I started to see dark. Also I once did this while looking at a person who was emotional / depressed and it seemed like I absorbed their emotions and energy. Shortly after I was very emotionally disturbed and annoyed / pissed of. I'm not sure what all of this means. When I came out of it, it felt like, everything was lit up. Like my surroundings, were completely bright, luminous, etc; sometimes it feels like I am stepping into another vibration / energy vibration where I am at one with everything. Unfortunately it only lasts about 1 minute, 2 minutes, strangely. Sometimes, if I do it while I am meditating, this energy will lift me up; rather then me collapsing, I will feel an energy "hold me" from falling; - I was sitting with my back straight knees bent meditating; and did the inhale technique; and as that black out feeling came, I felt an energy sort of "hold me" from falling and just continued my meditation. One time I did it, and I lost strength in my legs again, started to shake, and had to hold myself from falling, as I was shaking, then sat on the ground, then I stood back up and the entire night sky was lit up. I started to laugh out loud for no reason, and for a time, felt like nothing mattered; - Of course it wore of quickly. I also notice that it sort of invokes a meditative state. Now obviously I don't want to go around near-blacking out places; but I also find it useful, especially when I am around bad energy or negative people, or I feel negative energy taking over. It tends to make it go away. One day I was a bit depressed and tired, so I kept doing it and I was put in a good mood for the rest of the day from it. Any idea what this is?
  12. I have been meditating daily; but I have taken a break from it. One thing I notice is that, there is a certain type of air that I can recieve depending on where I am at and the time of day. It is usually early in the morning, or where there is no people around; or when all is quiet. It's an inhalation of sorts. It is, what I would like to describe as, the purest, freshest air I have ever inhaled. It almost feels as if, I am attracting this type of air with my third eye, if that makes any sense. So once I inhale this kind of air, if I hold my breath, something strange happens. I inhale, the purest form of "life-force" air, the kind of air that only comes from morning dew, or evening quitness; and as I hold my breath, I feel a complete and total head rush. It feels almost, like I can fall on the floor. but from there, after I have that experience of a "head rush" - the entire world around me comes alive. Feels like, everything around me has color; vibrance, radiancy. This of course, only lasts about, 5-8 minutes, then it goes away. Can someone explain to me what is going on, and how it relates to the world? thank you.
  13. I spent about 480 hours in meditation in 2015. - Guess I had a lot of free time then. At the time I was going insane, so I dropped the meditation. Re-took celibacy because I liked/needed the strength that it gave me for certain things. Continued to be an alienated loner. Been following the path of Brahmchayra (?) - Total celibacy, women do not exist only as co-humans. I also have been celibate for a long while, on and off and quit alcohol and internet use for a couple of months; when I quit internet use for a month the second time, it seemed to open some doors in my conciousness like never before. However here's what's been happening. I meditated one time a month ago, and it was so powerful it seemed to effect my household, and my neighborhood. Some undesireable neighbors have moved out within the vicinity; peoples activities have changed. Very strong family from out of state have visited, and even took space in the room I was living in (I left town) - And other phenomonn. If I do happen to fall into a meditative state, out of necessity from being exhausted (sometimes I just wake up tired) - then the sun will part the clouds for me. This has happened in two major coastal california towns that I was in. The marine layer literally began to vanquish and the sun beat down on my head. During this experience, it seems my head and face absorb sunlight energy that radiates for a while. Though I am not meditating fully, what happens after this is interesting. After I have these experiences (sometimes daily if I need to) - (just lay down in the sun in close my eyes) - a karmaic balance or shift occurs and events that make sense unfold. Certain things become noticble, the color teal appears more; a teal car, someone wearing teal, or havin ga teal handbag. Hummingbirds will desperately fly towards me in the vicinity and begin feeding on local flowers. Every single time. An invisible beam seems to radiate from the sun and create and inner-reality deflecting all annoying things. For instance, if I meditate and lay on the ground, butterflies and hummingbirds appear; and the sun begins to beam down on me radiating "HOT" - as it radiates hot with this warmth, it enraptures me, sometimes it sort of leaves my vision with a fire; thus I can see objects glowing with teal. After that, events in my life seem to "make sense" and transpire; - close loved ones will contact me. Or for instance, a very young boy sat next to me with a guitar, and so happened to play and know the exact type of music that I have played my entire life. I showed him a few chords and left; as if it was my purpose to do that in that exact moment. - Flowers seem to bloom and radiate in my presence. I have no meditated full on during the day because the effects have been so profound and I know that, over-meditation is something I want to avoid so I have not done that yet. But these effects happen even if I take a cat nap; or a snooze. If anyone has any negative emotions within my vicinity I sense it through my forehead; for isntance, some family members had anger within them; anger and annoyance; I stepped outside and closed my eyes, I let the fire of the sun radiate on my forehead and went back to the family member. His face was cleared of the anger and the emotion. In fact, I can detect and sense negative energy in most people in the form of what my peripheral vision is telling me. #1.) I can see in my peripheral vision, a distortion of their eyes, if you will. So I always check with my peripheral vision what is on their face, and I also can sense their anger/stress/fear whatever and either I can talk them through it, or meditate through it; however I am not yet experiened or powerful enough really to "Excorcise" people of their lower emotions yet. I don't have that power yet or am not experiened enough. I'm not sure what next to do in life because I have been unemployed for 5 months and that's when all of this has been happening. I have never really been financialy independent except for a few times in my life; so this lead me to become heavily seeking spiritual persuits. Unfortunatley now it's so powerful sometimes it is blatantly obvious. 480 hours of meditation is no joke. I also believe I have done some damage to some lives around me on accident, due to my practices, which I am trying to heal and turn around; for instance the toxcicity of friends and loved ones have given me reason to be a light through celibacy and sobriety; If I lay down and stare at the sky, and the hummingbirds begin to surround me; the butterflies seem to appear out of nowhere, I see planes and hawks fly above me overhead, and also. This has been happening daily. I admitted this to family and they basically told me if I do have gifts I should seek the counsel of A Christian church. The thing is, I am not christian and my family is and they keep telling me to go to church, seek Jesus, seek counseling etc; but the funny thing is, I am more of a buddhist/agnostic/eastern philosophy type of person and have broken away from old patterns as I find traditional religion completley useless; and in fact, I believe we are all Gods we just have to learn to tap into our inherent power and use it for Good. because it is very easy to use it for both good and bad. I have had bad moments where I thought I was going insane, had panic attacks because I over-meditated, or was over-exposed to toxic environments; or made mistakes in my thought patterns or concentrated too much too soon, so all of these things, over the years I learned there is a certain balance, much like the sun rising and sun setting, much like the moon rising; everything has timing; and it is all linked to the timing of the day, your soul, your environment, what toxicity you have in your soul like past memories, regressions, hardships, and what type of obstacles are overcoming in your current environment; on top of these things, keeping your mind pure of toxic acts, like the pleasures of life; thus the reason why I feel the saints in all religions warned us from over-indulgance (I was a bad offender) I was, a few days ago laying down in the parking lot of a mall near a coastal beach town and there was a heavy thick marine layer. I knew that I was extremely tired, and my body lacked chi, or maybe I just have not figured out how to energize myself properly and it has something to do with being re-charged from a morning meditation or sitting in the sunlight; - the security guard approached me asking me what I am doing laying on the ground. I said, "waiting for the sun" - he laughed and said, "You'll be waiting all morning" At that moment I said "It's already happening" - and the sun begin to split the clouds and shine on me in the vicinity; he looked like he saw a ghost and took off. I looked around me, and noticed that, it was shinning on me, and my car, and everywhere in that parking lot within the general 200 yards. People even came up to park and I noticed I had attracted enough attention, so it was time to move on. I did this the day before as well; and found that, I opened the clouds for a 1 mile radius, as the family member I was staying with lives right by the beach. funny thing is, the onlly place that had sunlight that day was the 1 mile radius of my meditation zone; everyone in cars were driving to that point of sunlight whilst I looked around, a bit stunned at the fact, I was in the middle of a clear zone; surrounded by grey cloud. I've been posting almost every other day on various forums like spirituality and taosim on reddit to little or no avail. Some asking me for advice and guidance, truth is I'm just a regular guy down on his luck, or just became socially isolated and persued celibacy and meditation. The funny thing is, I used to laugh at the Drew Hempel guy on here as being some kind of fraud or sheister but now I'm beginnng to believe every damn thing he is saying. I'm a little bit afraid of the path before me, but I know for some reason I am not supposed to turn back, I'm supposed to keep going forward on this path, as a light bringer of sorts. That's what I feel symbolically that's what's happening. I notice that, certain birds appear within my vicinity under meditation. Like, butterflies, mocking birds, hawks, hummingbirds always; like higher evolved beautiful creatures; and they seem to chase away the crows, every single time; and when I am in negative vibration I notice crows always hang around; but if I meditate, the crows get scared off; they just caw and take off. I have nothing against crows but to me it is very symbolic. Also, what is the deal with the color teal ? - Never really cared for it, but it's been making its way to me and throwing itself in my face. I am not sure what my path is, maybe a lightbringer, or healer, I have had a discussion with my 3 sisters, and they all said if I have a gift I need to find a way to channel it and that they have my back. I told them, to not think I am crazy. I have no history of mental illness, nor does my family (We have had depression in our family) - but I know all of this is happening because I willingly followed this path of piety and discipline and solitude, sometimes to my own dismay and hardship, other times to my great suprise, it is like being reborn. I also notice that after a heavy meditation session, the flower of innocence, for instance, children seem to make their way towards me; these things can be broken very easily obviously if I returned to a life of induldgance, but I am running from that as I was a former addict and jumped head first into spirituality, chasity and sobreity for a few years now. Thoughts ? Suggestions? insights? I can use all the help and advice I can get. Thank you.
  14. What does this mean?

    Roger you might be right but there is a lot of phenomonen going on right now that I can't explain. For instance sometimes in public places if I sit down a bunch of people get up and leave. It's not all the time, only when I am at peace. My last meditation session left me really jacked up. It's been 5 days and I'm still messed up from it. Needless to stay I'm giving meditation a break for a long time. My head feels there is a invisible circl around it, and when people move around me it gets affected. Wish there was an off button. Kinda regretting meditation in the first place.