Encephalon Posted May 15, 2011 (edited) 5. Seeing to the Heart Some behavior in your children will seem “good” to you. Other behavior will seem unequivocally “bad.” Notice both in your children without being overly impressed by one nor overly dismayed by the other. In doing so you will be imitating Tao which sees our behavior as a mask and sees immediately beneath it to the good within our heart. Above all, do not attack your child’s behavior and attempt to change it by endless talking and scolding. Stay at your center and look beneath the behavior to the heart of your child. There you will find only good. When you see the heart you will know what to do. Of course some behavior is dangerous to the child and to others. Express your concern with the behavior. Do not attack the child. Consider now a particular behavior that concerns you. Meditate carefully and see through to the heart of your child. What does it tell you? ************************************************************************************** I read six different interpretations of the TTC before I could realize some measure of meaning from this chapter, as I can be awfully dense. It again reminds me of the Buddhist virtue of Right Speech, not presuming that my exalted view as a grownup with a 50-year lead on life qualifies me to narrate children's lives as they unfold. I love my neighbor's kid. He regularly misbehaves and refuses to listen but his exuberance is contagious. His parents won't be winning any parenting awards any time soon; they exhaust themselves, their kid and everyone around them with incessant micro-managing of his daily experience. We take him to the park a couple nights a week, just to get him out of his straightjacket, and he acts like a perfectly healthy 5-year old. We try to loosen the behavioral parameters as much as possible and he seems to blossom before our eyes. Edited May 15, 2011 by Blasto 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zerostao Posted June 9, 2011 not really giving my thoughts on this particular chapter. but rather to the entire idea of a parent's TTC i have been thinking alot about unity lately. the unity of the family is a super cool(sacred) unity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
steve Posted June 10, 2011 not really giving my thoughts on this particular chapter. but rather to the entire idea of a parent's TTC i have been thinking alot about unity lately. the unity of the family is a super cool(sacred) unity. I agree - I had a terrible emotional crisis when my youngest moved to the West Coast (I'm on the East). And then I had the experience of the continued bond even across a continent. And in fact, our relationship is stronger and closer than ever. There are many spiritual and psychological and energetic layers but I'm not going to get into that. I just wanted to echo your sentiment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
