return

[Daeluin]

So I joined a while back, even posted a few times, but never really introduced myself or stuck around. It'd be nice to change that.

 

I suppose I discovered the tao back in college, and it really opened up my world. Up till that point I had tried to figure things out on my own, mostly by using logic to piece together what made sense while not entirely dismissing things that didn't. I liked believing in the possibility anything could happen, and over time my loose strings would find their places. And as I learned more they did.

 

When I started learning about taoism those strings came together a lot faster. For the first time my foundations of belief had found outside validation, but it went beyond that - instead of doing my own slow weaving of theories, I had an immense wealth of knowledge before me. It still took a long time to gain a solid enough understanding of qi, among other things, even after I was able to feel it. But after reading many different descriptions of it things finally began coming together. At this point I have a basic understanding of vitality, energy and spirit.

 

In the eight or nine years since college I've answered most of my burning questions. Now I know I need to put in time to grow, unless I'm content with philosophies alone. Only I've never been a very strong person, especially when it comes to expressing my own will to act. I'm sensitive and easily get swallowed by patterns - the internet, bad jing retention, a new story. In one sense I'm ok with this, as I'm trying to become more compassionate and accepting of the way things are, rather than dwelling on what could be. So why try to change myself? But I also recognize much of my "self" isn't me at all, but conditioned responses to our culture. I'd very much like to overcome this and see clearly.

 

Practice wise I've dabbled in tai chi and qi gong enough to produce results, but not long after that. For much of my life I've been vegetarian, experimenting with fasting and raw from time to time. I feel the lack of heavy foods might make grounding much more important for me. A typical pattern for me is: practice a very healthy lifestyle and cultivate enough energy that I lead a fairly outgoing and positive life for x amount of time, then crash after it becomes to much and I don't know how to channel the excess properly.

 

Well ultimately I know my problems, and know the solutions - just gotta spend more time with myself.

 

Thanks for having me,

Daeluin

[Marblehead]

Hi Daeluin,

 

Welcome back!

 

Are you going to talk with us this time?

 

Happy Trails!

[Daeluin]

 

Are you going to talk with us this time?

 

 

I'll do my best!

Thanks