dalidaalaa

Meditation is Scary -- Literally

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Hello friends.

 

I joined this website out of fear. (Go figure.) I am new to meditation, and the sensations have been so intense I fear I am either doing something entirely wrong and am going to go insane, or that I am moving too quickly and am going to somehow hurt myself.

 

The problem is, it happens every time I meditate, and it is getting worse.

 

Bascially, a pressure fills my head. Tonight, meditating alone, I focused on a chakra, and the pressure in my head began to fill up like usual. Then, my head began to shake violently and tears came to my eyes. I tried to stick with it, and ride it out, but afterwards the experience was so bizarre I felt more isolated from my fellow man than ever.

 

Because I am new to meditation, I do not know what I am experiencing. I don't feel comfortable having my head violently shake in group meditation, and no one seems to know what I am talking about.

 

Instead of finding peace, I am feeling isolated and afraid in my experience.

 

Any ideas?

 

Thank you,

Lauren

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hi Lauren, I would recommend you find a good teacher, preferably one that is Tantric in nature. having a good teacher is great, they are there to guide you through those rough scary confusing moments such as what you are going through now. you are scared because you don't know what's going on.. and that's scary, the unknown. are you drawn to any particular tradition? if you are into Buddhism I can help you find a good teacher in your area.

 

outside of that, it seems you've awakened energy and thats perfectly normal. we all go through this. many here can share with you their experiences, as all of this is normal for us. first I would suggest for you to relax. it's ok, you're not going insane. quite the opposite actually.. you're becoming more aware of deeper aspects of yourself, a purification is taking place; a transformation. so in actuality you are becoming sane... not going insane. so relax, that is very important because if you don't relax and give in to fear.. you are feeding turning your energy negative. negative energy is not conducive to transformation. the energy must be relaxed, open, free, positive. so your mindset must be the same.

 

we all experience fear, its 'natural' because we have so much invested in our current state. any change would mean that things won't be the same again...and that's so scary for the little prickly ego sitting inside. if you analyze that fear.. what do you get? well you would probably feel a bodily sensation, a very heavy negative feeling.. and more subtly you would see that its a mental grasping, an inability to let go. if you become aware of that clinging to the self in an objective, open, and nonjudgmental way... that hold can lessen. that grasping can become un-grasping, and then... well.. then real transformation can take place.

 

rest assured, all that is being let go of is illusion..nothing 'real'. you are opening up to your true nature, which will happen gradually not a 'one shot deal'. so be happy and rejoice. you are on the sublime path to awe

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Hello friends.

 

I joined this website out of fear. (Go figure.) I am new to meditation, and the sensations have been so intense I fear I am either doing something entirely wrong and am going to go insane, or that I am moving too quickly and am going to somehow hurt myself.

 

The problem is, it happens every time I meditate, and it is getting worse.

 

Bascially, a pressure fills my head. Tonight, meditating alone, I focused on a chakra, and the pressure in my head began to fill up like usual. Then, my head began to shake violently and tears came to my eyes. I tried to stick with it, and ride it out, but afterwards the experience was so bizarre I felt more isolated from my fellow man than ever.

 

Because I am new to meditation, I do not know what I am experiencing. I don't feel comfortable having my head violently shake in group meditation, and no one seems to know what I am talking about.

 

Instead of finding peace, I am feeling isolated and afraid in my experience.

 

Any ideas?

 

Thank you,

Lauren

 

Yes. First of all the mind is very very powerful. We don't usually believe that it is, that's why we can get so shocked and surprised when we experience visceral effects like you describe.

 

As long as those effects only appear in meditation, and you meditate as you describe here, the most likely cause of them is your mind's natural ability to concentrate plus the meanings you attach to the idea of concentration, to what it means to concentrate, and the meanings you attach to meditation and what it means to meditate.

 

First thing I would suggest is to stop focusing or concentrating on any chakra or on anything at all. When you meditate, avoid making it too formal. Dress and act casual, like you're about to pick a booger out of your nose -- that casual. Sit down or lay down without getting stiff, just do it the same way you always do it when you're not meditating. Don't expect magic or anything weird to happen. Expect your meditation to be boring. Why? Because expectations are powerful. Sometimes when you expect something strongly, the mind does its best to manifest it.

 

Relax and don't specifically focus on anything. Just sit or lay down however you are comfortable and just pay attention to your being in a gentle manner. Try to feel some kindness for yourself and everyone (but not pity), but don't try too hard either. Just a little. And spend about 1 minute like this, then do something else... Then do another minute and so on. When this becomes normal and easy, spend 2 minutes and so on.

 

The goal is to increase your awareness of your inner life, of yourself, of your perceptions and so forth and also to relax at the same time. Relax. Drop the stress. Drop all your goals and designs and pay attention in a playful mood.

 

Don't worry about chakras -- they are not real anyway. They are mind-made, like other stuff.

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It seems you are doing a chakra meditation of some sort. For beginners especially without close contact with a teacher that can be rough. I would rather start wih a simple meditation focusing on breathing or a mantra.

 

http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?showtopic=9719

 

This meditation, the secret smile, is both wonderfull in the benefits it brings in terms of becoming confident, hapy etc, but it is also a meditation that for various reasons makes other meditations safer and go more smoothly.

 

Meditations to consider are shamatha followed by vipassana once concentration is strong enough, Bruce Frantsis water method/inner disolving, inner smile (michale winn/mantak chia) and zen. These are all rather gentle. A much more powerfull but still safe proach is KAP. For vipassana google daniel ingram and read his online book (free) and google shinzen young and read his stuff. Shinzen guides people in meditation on telephone or online. Michael Lomax has a system that seems realy good bu you would have to do a retreat to learn it I think altough I am not quite sure. AYP is also a good system and very powerfull but recomend anyone doing it also do additional grounding because what is included in the system is not enough in that regard in my opinion.

 

Basic breathing (belly breath, full yogic breath, get the breath correct, slow deep, even and "free" as in not constricted and tight) as in the trhead on the secret smile is also imporant and you need to find some method to ground and root yourself (embracing the tree for example, tai chi also).

 

Just basic bodyscanning is also great in the beginning (google 61 points).

 

Are you doing anything to get the boy in good condition?

 

I highly recomend you read a path with heart by jack kornfield.

Edited by markern

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Hi Lauren and welcome....

 

First you need to detail what you are doing. Probably a good idea to stop for now until you have yourself sorted which should not take long. Finding a teacher is a good idea but first you need to decided what your goal is. Meditation is not just meditation and even if it is, intent is like a fucking rudder. I'm serious.

 

So....

 

1) What exactly are you doing?

2) How long and have you done anything before (exp) ?

3) What is your goal?

4) Detail symptoms exactly... are you dizzy, is there heat etc...

 

One rule with Qigong etc is that if you do not feel good.. then something is not right or may need adjustment. I ask your goal as it is important. Immortality? Health? Martial? Kundalini Rising? etc... With energy rushing to the head, grounding is important. There are many ways. Just sitting and focusing on your Yongquan points at the beginning of the water channel (Kidney 1). Here's a little description and picture to help locate them.

 

http://trueanduseful.eponym.com/blog/_arch...24/2441267.html

 

Kidney%20One.gif

 

Imagine rooting into the earth just just sit.... still your mind and then just witness... ahhhh nice. Anyway, don't panic worry or have fear. It's hard to tell if it's good or bad without a little more info. You were sensible enough to ask and there are many nice people here who are willing to help.

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For a beginner I'd say not to jump into chakra meditations or stuff. The way most people look at them (usually from some New Age resources as opposed to parts of specific systems that have a more solid structure to them) leaves out a lot of support that other practices give.

 

Though not really tantric/yogic in nature, I suggest B.K. Frantzis' "Opening the Energy Gates of Your Body". The sinking, scanning, and dissolving practices taught in the book are really excellent, and the longevity breathing that he teaches in the book as well is super good to incorporate in your practice every day.

 

I experiment with some other systems here and there, but Frantzis' dissolving method is always what I start with (grounds out any negative energy I might have built up throughout the day), and always what I end with (gets rid of any potentially disruptive energy I have built up during practice). And whenever I have a scary experience, I find dissolving it to be the best :)

 

Once you find out how to relax, and how to let go of any unwanted energy, then you can start doing more focused meditations. At least that would be what I recommend from my experience :)

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Yeah meditation is isolating and sometimes really freaky. Think of meditation as technology to cleanse the body. Come to grips with the truth that you now know.

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