Cadcam

Why is that, nun

Mark of the Beast. Do you accept me?

Mark of the Beast. Do you accept me?

Mark of the Beast. Do you accept me?

If you've impressed the Divine by representing some trait or trade, you can be an Adept exempt and get welcomed into the higher planes. Perhaps, even the new world. If you're a magician of your own design, you can be welcomed in and taken across without true study. If you're an Adept of an order, one can cross the abyss and work for the actual order of Adept. In very special cases, one can go into the abyss for a quest, and when finished, they will take you on board the ship and ferry you across.

God IS love, and He wants you to do the right thing.

The best way to manage a world of desire, where beauty privilege and wealth are what is necessary, is to deny it, or rise to it.

I've had a couple revelations. The first one is regarding my cry to God and the idea I was cursed. If God is the God of love, he would have blessed me for wanting to bring love to the world, and if he isn't, then why would he care at all? The other revelation i had is about privilege, avarice and beauty. How could God punish us for sin that is what we are built for? This whole system is screwed up.

I've been afflicted for 25 years. I tried many times to create something good, and every time, I was set upon by demons. But I kept getting back up. The only answer, when I had every good intention, is that i offended God. Its the only ans we er to my affliction. Where do I go from here?

Yeah, my brain is broken. It feels dead-end and I can't grab on to ideas or objects of interest. I don't choose to be bored, I just am not drawn to anything. I have also considered all my options and why I would do something and I can't see a reason. I guess you could say I'm depressed

Thanks for the advice. I learned to have no thoughts because my mind was under attack, and so i withdrew my mind- buried it in my head, and sat still while the voices and their device went on and on, until finally they went away. The downside of this is that I can't think or understand complex ideas, so it would be difficult for me to learn a method and apply it. I'm feeling better now, gotten accustomed to the boredom.

After I heard the voice I set out to do a number of things, one of which was to convince people there was a God. It was a shocking revelation for me to know with certainty that there was one. Unfortunately it didn't occur to me that so many people already believe. After years of work, I've come to realize that everyone believes in their own way, and that love and religion are in a state of chaos. And so i now withdraw into my heart and feel a bit of sorrow for the state of man and God.

I've been thinking about all that I've experienced. It isn't like there was a book, or master, to guide me through it. I've been confused about it all for a very long time, and considered everything I've read on qabbalah and magic. The most i can conclude is that the gods acknowledge something of an order of Chaos, which is different than the average, and I somehow initiated myself into it. Its strange because these things just sort of happened without preparation. In the end, did any of it matter? How different am I now, having gone through all of this? I am left with no answers, and suspecting them only cause me trouble. I post hoping someone has experienced similar things, I've given up on books.

The pain came when the jewel cracked open. The hallucinations came later.

Oops