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About TranquilTurmoil

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    Dao Bum

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  1. Qs on integrating Taoism and buddhism

    That sounds like what I had found at Blue Cliff Monastery during my first 10 day retreat. It was a profound healing and transformative experience that led me away from the darkness of alienation, nihilism, despair that I felt after I went on a deep introspection journey that led me to spiritual seeking and veganism. For years now I have had a profound yearning for sangha and for all my friends I have left behind. I hope to have that again one day... But my future seems brighter now than ever to me. I really appreciate your responses. -Elliot
  2. Qs on integrating Taoism and buddhism

    I was unfamiliar with shiatsu but it sounds amazing! If I ever get the opportunity to receive it or learn it I 'll take it! I should mention in the course of my asceticism I have had scary health concerns. During my hospitalization I survived on a diet of oatmeal and ensure, consuming what I imagine was less than 32 oz of total fluids a day! My blood pressure was so low that I was put on a steroid for 2 years to raise it as I was unwilling to drink or eat more. This combined with no sunlight, poor nutrition, no exercise and Prolonged sitting caused my bones to slowly deteriorate. I faced the brink a few times through these years and thankfully I made it through and my bones are gradually recovering as I now get sunlight, more fluids , more calories and a couple hours of walking daily. I also read that hearing the frequency of cats purring can have a beneficial effect on the body and my kitty Kat takes good care of me. I'm still not getting the nutrition I need however but hope that situation resolves soon. But any healing methods would be welcome to me. Thanks for your support and suggestions yueya -Elliot Ps if I remember correctly you are big on Jung right? I am too!
  3. Qs on integrating Taoism and buddhism

    Thanks yueya! I appreciate the feedback. I was doing yoga for the past two years but have put my practice on pause recently. I also practice sitting meditation daily. I have no opposition to your suggestions, but what you should know is that the I Ching leads me, I don't lead the I Ching. I have inner conflicts that I have been waiting years to resolve such as reaching out to my college friends I have desperately missed and seeking out teachers. That's part of the reason I came here to share and seek to figure out what I could expect going forward because I have a very unorthodox path I'd say even by esoteric standards! Thanks again
  4. Qs on integrating Taoism and buddhism

    Well in order to seek further answers and to get what I've long wanted to get off my chest to people who may understand me better than the few people around me, I feel compelled to share my story. I found the Tao Te Ching and Buddhism at roughly the same time when I was 20 and finishing what would turn out to be my last semester as a college student. After school ended I ventured off to Blue Cliff Monastery in NY to take refuge in sangha. The day I got back from my 10 day retreat I received in the mail the I Ching by Brian Browne Walker I had ordered prior to attending said retreat. I started consulting it immediately and the 7 years that followed have been quite a journey. On my third trip to the monastery I had a crisis of faith as I received an ominous hexagram warning of punishment for teetering on the edge of non-celibacy with inappropriate women, repeated boasting , and generally not heeding the counsel of my newfound oracular friend. I went to a monastic for counsel who was advising me not to consult the I Ching as I wanted to become a monk eventually and in the vinaya there are precepts against divination. My crisis of faith led me to fear and panic. When I finally collected myself and came home I consulted the I Ching. I got the changing line "in the early days your peace of mind will be challenged..." That night I had demonic nightmares and I was traumatized by them. I took refuge at a local Zen center but didn't tell anyone about my nightmares. The short story of what happened a couple months later is that I essentially stopped sleeping at night for anything more than an hour or two. I'm going to skip over some important details here but what resulted was a brief commitment to a psychiatric ward, what would 6 years later be determined as a misdiagnosis of schizophrenia and antipsychotic medication. After this experience I was broken, filled with doubt , and terrified of deviating from the guidance of the I Ching. On top of that the Oracle advised me to stop going to my Zen center and that I had to wait for an indeterminate amount of time before I could seek out a teacher or counselor; Buddhist, Taoist or otherwise 6 months after my hospitalization I had a breakthrough: my doubt dissolved and I was (temporarily) filled with profound peace. However I was still terrified of suffering shock for deviating from the guidance of the Oracle. A series of misunderstandings, inner conflict, and the notion that I had to let go of All desire led me to undertake a path of extreme asceticism. My parents thought I was decompensating and had me committed to have my medication increased. I took a very passive approach and continued my reclusive asceticism in the hospital as my body began to lose weight quickly. I eventually added ensure to my diet which first stabilized then helped me regain my weight. I remained committed at the psych ward for a year until it was determined I was no longer a danger to myself. However, when I tried to maneuver my way back home through negotiating with the staff and my family, the Oracle counseled me to wait for a proper solution to present itself. I waited two more years until I was forcibly discharged from the hospital. Its been 3 years since then and my life has gradually but greatly improved. My story ties in with this thread because I was always drawn to the Mahayana and especially am now but feel I am at least currently bound to the non action of a hermit. I have also come to rely on the Deity as referred to in the I Ching for protection and consider my relationship with the Oracle how Tibetans view the student-guru samaya. So I'm confused where to go from here as far as the religious direction of my path. That's my post for now and it was cathartic to share my story
  5. Hey Apech. I can't send any pm or posts now, I guess because I'm a new member. If there is another medium you would be willing to chat on send me an email at [email protected] . Thanks :)

  6. Qs on integrating Taoism and buddhism

    Thank you! Would you be open to talking with me in depth on my I Ching questions as soon as you're available to? I'm so eager to discuss with another person who consults the Yi... If you read the other thread I have more or less waited for 7 years to discuss my questions... I'm available to talk or video chat if interested Edit: I can't post anymore posts (maybe there is a limit on your first day?) If you are up for it we can try to find an alternate way to msg. My email is [email protected] let me know Thanks
  7. Hello all. I have long been confused on theology in Taoism especially in regards to the I Ching. The two translations of the Yi I use are Brian Browne Walker and Wilhelm and both refer to "God" or "the Deity" as far as theology goes. I know certain schools of Taoism are polytheistic from what I gather. What I would like to know as I pray to the Deity as referred to in the I Ching am I praying to a biblical God or an abstract universal Deity? I ask this because my path has Buddhist roots and I want to know if anyone can guide me if praying to Guan Yin and other bodhisattvas is compatible with praying to a potentially biblical God. I also would like to know if the bodhisattva path and the path of the daoist immortal are one and the same or are two distinct paths. Does an immortal have great compassion? Do bodhisattvas reside in the heavenly realms while they simultaneously incarnate on earth? I have a lot of questions so hopefully someone could help guide me. -Elliot
  8. Seeking counsel

    So I figure I should introduce myself. I have been a Taoist/ I Ching hermit for 7 years. Roughly 3 of those years were spent in an asylum as I unintentionally wound up going down a path of extreme asceticism. I had very traumatic and some beautiful mystical experiences prior to my long term hospitalization. I have been waiting to take action for a long, long time. I have many things I want to clarify some things about the I Ching and my path in relationship to it as well as theological questions. In my early days of the path I wanted to be a Zen monk and frequented a monastery for a few months. I was quickly led to the Wu-Wei way, and never changed. My only experience with doing energetic practices is a little bit of hatha yoga. My practice revolves around non-doing and non-aggression... To be continued
  9. Seeking counsel

    I can only send 2 msgs a day (the reason I created the second account) but the account name is ElliotAcct2
  10. Seeking counsel and camaraderie

    Hello fellow bums! I've been a follower of the I Ching and Taoist way for 7 years and am finally seeking a fellow I Chinger for counsel and catharsis. I reached out to @Taomeow but I can only send 2 msgs a day for some reason so I'm not sure if that is up in the air. Nonetheless I 'll be happy to talk to any who inquire! -Elliot
  11. Seeking counsel

    Thank you! Ps I created a second account I have no intention of using out of eagerness (I waited a long time to post so I jumped the gun in trying to get an activated account.) best wishes to all!
  12. Seeking counsel

    Hi bums! I've been reading here for about a year and the time has come for me to join your ranks. I'm looking for counsel from a fellow devotee of the Yijing. Looking forward to hearing from you all! -Elliot