Raúl

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Everything posted by Raúl

  1. Hi, first, I don't know if this is the correct section for this discussion, but I'm new and thought that this is the one that it most fits in. The topic is celibacy and energy, and microcosmic orbit. My situation is that I don't have a master, I am a 22 years old guy, very talented musician, I have read a lot, I consider myself wise, independent, and capable. I am trying to stop my ejaculations, for the benefit of everything, specially my job, studies and personal relationships. Since I am young, healthy and have good genetics, my libido is pretty high. We could say that is maybe because of how indulgent and abusive I have been with masturbation throughout my life, that my libido is high. But it is also because I am healthy and have plenty of life in me. I have stopped masturbation obviously, more than a year ago by now. I was some time using masturbation as a tool to release the fantasies I had created in relation to porn, which has been very supportive. But I got to a point of having to grow up. Then I joined no fap and stared to have strikes of days without masturbating. And it has been a long process, that I still working on, from the big to the small. The last thing I added to my list of work was not looking at women to judge their physics, and not look for them in the street. It's like an habit, and I realized that this was feeding my libido in a bad way. There is a good libido in me, which is the one that after for example 11 of no ejaculation makes me a literal demigod. 11 days is not much, but as I said I have pretty good genetics and energy levels. So, I know seeing beauty in women is natural, biological. But I also, want to understand how it works, so it does not work against me, and my mind does not feed on it to charge my sexual organ. So, I am working with everything about masturbation, I am working also with memories, like for example the one I have about one relationship I had of 2.5 years. I am clearing everything, and it is the best decision I have ever done, and if you know what I am talking about you'll understand. My goal, my ideal, would be to use sexual pleasure only to create children, the day I decide to marry a woman. That is my ideal, but maybe because of my past abusive relationship with masturbation and porn, or maybe just because of my healthy natural libido and testosterone, that is quite hard. For me, consciously, it's not hard, because I don't like masturbating, I have nothing against it, I think it is cool, but as I said my ideal would be to use it only to create children. But, consciously I get away with it. But my reality says, hey, it's not how thinks work, you are not a master and you will have nocturnal emissions. And that is kind of my issue, once my energy reaches a certain point of healthiness, it will discharge while I am sleeping. This has had very bad consecuences. It's not only that I am 2 or 3 days depressed because of an unhealthy level of energy after it happens, it has ruined some personal relationships, and even my job. For example I had a stroke once, I was charging myself for 11 days, and the next 2 days I had a concerts. But, that night I had a noctural emission without fantasy, and then I knew what would happen. Next days I had no energy, I played very bad, I couldn't make my friends laugh or anything, it was a disaster. Because I had lost my semen the previous day. This brought me to a scary situation, where I would have to go to sleep not knowing if the next day I would wake up dead or not. You may think that it is normal or it not normal, but I know it is not how things are supposed to be. We could aswell discuss the topic of wether due to my past of porn addiction, in my ejaculation, even if I have really worked on it and relaxating myself ans releasing the fantasies etc etc for a long time, I lose more energy than the avarage person. Meaning, people are able to work normally even they ejaculate the previous day, but I am all anxious because my body energy is in deficit. This is up to debate, and I am not sure of it, and not even know if it adds something to the topic. So, I was in that situation and started adding to my routine of yoga stretches, stretches specifical for the kidneys, a lot of them, and to strength the lower abdomen. I believe this had helped me because, tonight, I was full of energy and I had a short sexual dream which is rather unusual, and, while I knew that orgasm was coming, and I knew it was my body doing it while in that unconcious and I could do nothing to stop it, my prostate relaxed. It was something that I have been practicing, relaxing the PC muscle, but I didn't know that if done in that way I would achieve that. So, I saw the orgasm coming, and in the dream I saw a circle (which was my prostate) and I expanded fully that circle to relax it. The result was my testicles not going so up and close to the body, and my prostate not contracting to release the semen. The result of that was an orgasm achieved by relaxation, that felt exactly like an orgasm, but which had not depleted me because I had not released my semen. Even if I obviously had released some energy with that orgasm. I imagine that this technic can be used to make long sexual intercourse and highly satisfy your partner. I don't know if this is a solution, I once knew a very smart guy with very high level of energy, that told me he masturbated and had orgasms without ejaculation. But this is all very knew to me, so I would like guidance of people more advance than me and that value the virtue of celibacy as much as me. Also, in relation to micro cosmic orbit, I started recently to do some exercices with it, and I have noticed that you are able to move your energy in a very interesting way, reminds me of playing music, but through your entire body. And I suppose this has benefits in itself, but the one I have noticed is that it clears my blockages of energy. For example one day I woke up sexually aroused, but in a rather bad way... And I had this block of energy like a magnet in the base of my pennis. When I did the microcosmic orbit, it had released and I was refreshed, so I could continue my day normally and focus on using my energy for it's true purpose. I'd like, if possible, and if anybody wants to support me, guidance in relation to how to deal with ejaculations, and if what I achieved is a good solution. And also, information about microcosmic orbit meditation. What paths do you recommend to do, and if it can support me to gain more controll over my energies specially in relation to masturbation/sexual energy. Thank you!!
  2. I just wanted to share what I think, and I think this section is rather off topic which is where I wanted to post it. I was once in a cult. They were a very good cult, they were honest in their believes, they did almost the same that you would do if you practice serious dao. With the time I got used to that feeling of being able to share anything with the people. It is the only thing that is needed for something to work, honest work from the people involved. When I came to this forum I was unconsciously expecting to find the same cooperation between people. I know there is a lot of smart people in this forum, much more than me, but it honestly amazes me how people in here have discussions, they could be sharing what they have, supporting one anoher, creating an even more complete system. But in the end, even the smartest people lacks that ability to share, instead a debate of I am absolutely right you are absolutely wrong you must listen is created, then friction between two minds is created, and voilá! They both get out of the conversation believing they achieved something. I just wanted to say that it doesn't matter how much knowledge you know, if you still do things which are silly. And I am the first that did this, when I entered the forum I unconsciously saw they way people interacted here and in the few posts I have done I was answered and I answered in the same way. It is contagious. So the only thing I wanted to share here is, people, debating like that make topics pointless and ugly. We are here to share with one another, we could do amazing stuff, there is no reason to not cooperate, in every serious topic there is always friction between people and that is not worthy of this forum. I'd like to see two different people, with different sets of believes, sharing their knowledge with each other, and realizing... Oh hey! You think this and I think that, but it's not so far! We in fact... Almost think exactly the same! But with different terminology. Instead it's always, hey, my cock is bigger than yours and here is the proof So, if you read this, I'd like that you started having that attitude, for the benefit of everybody here, don't make of this forum a place to have debates and laugh of other people and get mad. This prevents everyone from sharing their true self
  3. Celibacy, and also MCO

    And by the way, I agree with the way freeform talks. He simply shares his truth, it is what he has learnt, and it is great that he shares what works for him! There will be different things that work for different people, this is something basic to know. Please, stop having any intention to convince me of anything, wether you do it for the good of other person (everybody does it thinking that, even the most evil on the planet) or not. If something has worked for you, it does not mean you must have the intention to convince other people to have your own believes, that is ego and it's part of what makes this forum uglier than it could be. You can however share unconditionally what has worked for you, which is what everybody should be doing in the forum. For me, right now, celibacy is working and it is what I am working towards. I know a lot of smart people who deffend it, wether from ancient China or actual tao forums, and I neither believe in them. I'll simply test for myself to find out, like everybody should do before creating an opinion. And if someday I share what I have learned with someone else, I'll do it free or expectations, knowingly that what has worked for me does not necessarily have to work for everybody else, and there is no absolute correct answer. Also, I never said 0 sex forever, I believe in balance, and it's up to me if I incline it to the side of celibacy or sexual expression, it is up to what each person consider as natural. I don't believe in discussion/debates, they make this forum uglier than it could be. And treat me as a person and not as if I was you with 22 years old
  4. Celibacy, and also MCO

    Thanks man! I appreciate the sharing. I am glad that you have it so clear for yourself. For me, as with everything, I only trust in my experience, everyone's experience is different. So I'll experiment with celibacy, and keep what is good from it, as I am keeping what is good from your sharing. I will pay special attention to sexual depravaty/psychosis, and the health of my kidneys. It's not that I believe in your words or not, it's that I'll see it for myself to learn it, if it works, cool, if it doesn't, I'll keep growing. I don't have fear, and nobody should, wether it's celibacy or other thing, do not trust in the fear of other people, it's their own, you experiment with yourself and learn from that. This is what I have been doing my whole life and the only thing I trust. I also do not trust in people who need to say oh you are 22 you are as silly as I was with your age. Needing to say that makes you look dumb. Anyway, I only care about my own experience, that is my path, you should already know it unless you were too busy at 22 being dumb having sex or taking drugs. Thanks everyone for the sharing, bye!
  5. The way you all act in this forum

    If you come here to create a discussion, and convince me of my wrong views and words... You are not getting it xD
  6. The way you all act in this forum

    Hey, I suppose it does...it should at least, how can exactly can I believe something without it becoming my reality... I pay care to what I think, that's why I do not have fear of any perspective, and share it to the benefit of everybody. As I said, if you do not relate to it, that's fine
  7. The way you all act in this forum

    For what I have seen, it's the majority of people. You don't need to take it personally if you do not relate to it
  8. The way you all act in this forum

    Hey sure, there is of everything. I was just talking about this side
  9. Celibacy, and also MCO

    Thanks for the advice, you kinda missed your chance though. Wish you the same
  10. Celibacy, and also MCO

    Man, I am not arbitrarily saying these things. They all depend on celibacy, or if that word is misunderstood, in the preservation and proper care of semen and my own energy. It is purely based on my personal experience, I mentioned Chia because I was asked to mention a source. I have tried playing concerts in the days after I have ejaculated, and what happens? The obvious, I don't have energy, which means more anxiety, less reward system, and I won't even be able to concentrate to dance or play my guitar like it should be played. This is basics. If your ejaculations don't have this effect in you, you are probably unaware of it because you don't have a deep level of connection to your physical body, or you have a different body, any possibility is open. I can see the reasoning of "you are going to respress your natural desire and become the opposite and end up hedonistic" from a mile. You could have used that with me at 16-19 years old, because it was a real possibility, not anymore, you are projecting your own stuff into me. You can say more or less concrete things to a person you don't know, like freesoul did, but the fact is that you don't know me. For me, it takes 3 days to regain full motivation, physical resistance, etc, the 3 days rule is a known fact. In older people it may take a week to recover the body. The only logical answer I get is that your ejaculations and mine are different. Mine let me dry and empty (I am talking about masturbation), I was even told once in a concert that I had no energy that there was no soul within me. And it was true. On the other hand, what has happened in the concerts I had my body in a good energy level? Dancing, laughing with friends, face red in the guitar solos. Is it really that hard to believe that ejaculation does have that effect on me? I always appreciate support, but no matter what age you are you must be also be willing to listen to the other person. If for you being 22 and being indulgent in sex worked, that's great! For me, I prefer to preserve my energy as much as possible and wait for the right woman. Once I find her I'll have sex with her, and she will be satisfied as fuck that the guy preserved his energy, at least I have to do the right thing. And I'll try not to exhaust myself and commit myself to my work, which is what makes me happy. In the meantime, as I already said, I'll learn to have orgasms without ejaculation, which I am pretty close to, to release excess of energy. And it's obvious that I won't have sex with a girl I don't love. P.s: I was pretty okay with everything said by freesoul
  11. Celibacy, and also MCO

    Hey, thanks for sharing. It's interesting what you say, and I knew already what the increase of energy through celibacy can do to an unprepared person. I believe what you are saying about Chia lol and I didn't know celibacy is taken so seriously by some people, thinking about it, doing a celibacy like that would be the ideal. Unfortunately (from the perspective of celibacy being dangerous), I have always been very independent and I have confronted danger since I was a child, I know myself much more deeply than the avarage person, and I am more than ready to have longer strikes. I am doing everything in my power to be committed to reach my goals a be a better human being, and my whole intelligence tells me this is the moment for me to do this. Have been working already a lot to get to this point. And I choose to find a balance within me in which I teach my body to have longer and longer strikes, I am responsable for my own acts, and I know for everything I do there will be an effect. I am more than willing to take the risk and believe in myself, I do it gladly. And if it destroyes me so be it, I don't have fear, I have proven myself to myself other times, I have always been alone, and nothing will keep me from achieving my true potential, I'll die trying that. But I don't know, I am a stupid avarage 22 years old man, you'll probably find me doing porn in the same cycle banging random girls and having panic attacks because life is not real. I honestly accept it as a possibility lol I would have to know what would I do if I was in that scenario to be prepared. Anyway, I appreciate you have opened that perspective within me, I have to be prepared in case I am not who I think am. Oh and, in relation to my desires with celibacy, I just want to enjoy my hobby which is playing guitar, I want my body to be healthier, I want to see more to bring more into this life. I want to live my life doing what is good, treat humans equally and morally, share what I have, love and being loved, etc. These are my goals, they may not be perfect, but for me they are god and they are a good god, one which is worth living and which can support everything that exists. Greetings
  12. Celibacy, and also MCO

    May be but both are lost in a ejaculation though. I am not his fan neither, but since I am a newby anything I listen/read is usefull. Thanks for the advice, I'll let it be, after I have learnt to have orgasm without ejaculation
  13. The way you all act in this forum

    Hi Voidisyinyang thanks for everything you have shared, you have given me more than enough work, I appreciate it.
  14. Celibacy, and also MCO

    What I mean by celibacy, is using sex only to create life, that would be the ideal!
  15. Celibacy, and also MCO

    Well for me I know it first based on my personal experience. It is what ejaculation does to me, it brings me down, and it transforms the resources in my body that I can use to live and feel, into mind energy that after the experience it's gone, maybe I am the only one feeling this process, every body is different and works differently and has a different past. If however this experience is unknown to you and you do not relate to it in any way, the last wise master I have been listening to is called Mantak chia. He says what every Taoist knows, the sexual organ is one of the greatest source of energy, and it deserves special attention.
  16. Celibacy, and also MCO

    I am musician so I guess I can talk about african rhythms, African rhythms beat orgasms, if you haven't had orgasms and have the energy. If you are in an energetic deficit, you are not going to feel the music, that is precisely what I am saying. Good energetic feelings depend on your physical body, which depends on diet, exercices, meditation, no drugs, no masturbation, no pointless entertainment like videogames,... Etc etc. I always appreciate advices, but what you are saying is naive
  17. Celibacy, and also MCO

    Hello, this is me calmed, relaxed, and meditative. I wish with all my heart that the energy deficit after nocturnal emissions for the following days was just my imagination xD but unfortunately it is not... And musicians are very sensitive to this since all we do in concerts is feel energy with the music and express it. I am sorry if I seemed too anxious while writing the post, but it is more or less how I feel, I don't like ejaculating if it not my choice, I love being young and I want to preserve my energy, and I think celibacy is one of the most important topics for men of any age. Thank you both for your words, I'll take them into consideration
  18. Hi, I am new, I would like guidance

    Hi, I am sure I'll find plenty of info in the forum, I'll investigate. In relation to celibacy, what I think is that it is recommended to every person on Earth, being the ideal using it only to create the life of children. If that has become hard is only because of the abuse we have done with our minds into life. I guess you could say I am in the discipline of being a musician and I need it to play better, work harder, be happier, have a greater life, help and share more... There are too many reasons of why celibacy should be one of my main goals next to working hard for me future. They are sophisticated systems as you say, and I can't be indulgent simply because they are hard to understand and require wisdom, great insights, and good reading or having someone next to you as a master. I'll for sure investigate to join a discipline, even if I have created mine with my own routines that I have found that help me, I am sure there will be benefits, so I'll see what I find. Thanks!
  19. Hi. I came to this forum randomly, I found a link to it in the forum of No Fap. I was in that forum because, after retaining my energies (no ejaculation) for 11 days, I had a nocturnal emissions. This happened before the two concerts I had as a guitarrist. You can imagine, no energy=bad concert=anxiety. To this day, the most days I have been without ejaculating have been 2 weeks, and I know perfectly week what path should I take and what sacrifices I must do. Right now I live a very healthy life, stretching every day, physical exercices, rich and balanced diet, no drugs, reading good material, no excessive cell phone use... No videogames, porn, pointless entertainment in general. I am very focused on my musical career and my talents. But my problem is with sexual energy. I am a rare being, and I have the combination of very good genetic material and levels of energy + problematic childhood full of depression, conflicts, early addiction to porn, and drugs. Everything has passed now, I'm fine and certain, and in fact the only consequences I have (even if I will forever live the consequences of my acts) it's nocturnal emissions. I obviously no longer masturbate, and please if you think masturbation is healthy and there is nothing wrong with it don't even bother posting. I am in the need of support from people really experienced in the path to real life. Not that you have to help me or something, but I'd appreciate and I'll share what I have in return. I have some questions: What is dao? I have seen various disciplines in this forum, which one do you recommend me? I have always studied about different materials, everything that is usefull, from zen to Buddhism to biomolecular biology, but I never sticked to one. What can you suggest me to stop nocturnal emissions every 11-14 days? I understand that if I have been addicted to porn since I was a child and it is what I have fed, that simple fact that I even have a chance to recover is miraculous in itself, but I am bothered by it. Specially because I am a musician, because I still young (22) and I want to remain happy to share that with the world. I no longer feed any fantasy, or have the desire to masturbate or watch anything, I do yoga daily and I started doing a special stretchment for the kidneys yesterday to see if that helps Also, I have noticed recently that when I walk on the street I have this subliminal thing in me which looks at the corner of my eye and thinks... Is that a how chick? I think that this might be feeding the nocturnal emissions, even if I no longer masturbate or conciously have fantasies or desires. I don't know if this forum is the place to seek this kind of help, but if not just, hi! I'll be around here to see what is shared and what I can learn from all of you.
  20. Hi, I am new, I would like guidance

    I think probably some therapy would be good for me, I'll do it someday, by now the work I have done in relation to that is writing my whole life from the beginning, and doing blogs and blogs about all my life and what I have felt. Then also, for me being a musician it is a therapy in itself, in the concerts I have sessions of 3 hours playing and then 2 hours for example, in those times you have songs from all genres coming to you and for me it feels absolutely therapeutical, if you have energy and you share that with the band it's very cool. Also focusing on what I feel at day 11-14 is very accurate, being estable will only bring me greater goods, the more unstable mentally I get the easily a relapse will happen. I also think celibacy requires a high level of harmony, but when you build a house you don't start it from the roof... Anyway, thanks for the insights!