The frustrating paradox of sexual desire

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I can relate to this post very well. Though, for me, I would rather find love than sex at this point. My thing is with the beauty of the female form and what it triggers in me. There seem to be little things, outside of nature, than can even come close to a woman's overall beauty. And it does seem natural - I do not intend or strive for the attraction to a woman, I just naturally feel it.


But I will say this - in the stretches of time where I pushed my libido aside, I have felt more at peace internally and I look at an attractive woman more as a person than a short-lived desire. So I think there is something to rising above inner-passions for some amount of time. After some period of meditation, this would actually be a good thing for me to come back to - to see if quieting internally has an affect on outer-desries.



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We learn to the view the world through habit.

You have taught yourself to view particular women in a particular way

Unfortunately this just causes suffering for you.

Is it possible for you to look upon an attractive women and seeing them as a complete

human being.

A person like yourself,with family and friends.

A human who feels all the same emotions you do.

So perhaps the next time you see a beautiful women

instead of just resorting to your old way of thinking and feeling,

take a minute to acknowledge more then just the surface of her body

and consider that there is a person inside that body.


Once a had a very enlightening conversation with a very beautiful female friend of mine.

She stated that it was rare to find a man that could see beyond her beauty.

Spending time with her in public spaces I soon realized how every man projected there sexual impulses

on to her.Some subtley some not so subtle.

I admit I was no different.

But as I got to know her better I realized I had been making a big mistake.

I saw how pathetic and shallow my intention toward her was and this gave me the breathing space

to actually get to know her as a human and then as a friend.


So I began to change my old way of seeing attractive women as objects and began to view them as living spirits in a human body.


As time went on the craving for the beauty of the female form and the suffering it entails began to subside.

In its place another type of beauty began to manifest,a beauty much less demanding and far more fullfilling.


I hope this helps.

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