If I left the world today

Recommended Posts

As we grow older, and body parts begin to breakdown,organs are not functioning as they had earlier in our lives , very gradually we are being prepared for this seperation.

Some of us are fortunate enough to have cleaned up what we thought of as the wreckage of our past , to actually go beyond karmic comprehensions and all other supposed judgements that had come to us from outside of our own being.

I believe I have faced all my boogiemen/women. Having gone back time and again, having been reminded of all I had thought were shortcomings, or mistakes , having traveled many times thru the relegious and philosophical concepts I experienced in order to get to today and released them of the damage I thought they had caused me and I had caused them.

I truly believe I have cleaned up what I thought could be perceived as a tragic life, if someone were percieving it outside of my own mind , and had experienced life and the experiences as i have.

I don't believe I have any regrets, shame,doubts, remorses or fears left.

I honestly believe I am prepared to meet that moment of ultimate truth, eyes opened and ready for whatever is to come.

I am most grateful I have arrived at this stage of life , I would never have dreamed I would have lived to be 68 ,as my life has been a fantastic adventure, denying myself nothing in as far as experiences were concerned. When someone said," don't," I usually always responded ,Why not"..I always needed to experience , the why nots, the journey has been enlightening to say the least.

I still at times feel the most enlightening book I ever read was "Joanathan Livinston Seagull" by Richard Bach, very simple,very practical.

I read the bible and practiced doing all the things they said jesus did, and said to do, over and over ,crashing against the walls of delusion they created ,many times before I could untangle my self from the fear that kept me immobilized. I actually longed to be the second coming itself to end all the misery of humankind, because I believed he would actually return as they said at one time. Although deeper investigation freed me of that illusion and all the illusions and delusions that path had carried me thru for so many years.

Then came the course in miracles interesting and further distance from the contradicting concepts of the bible, even though the bible was one of its tools. Ultimately not trusting anything anymore coming from the bible, I left that path behind.

Then came Narcotics Anonymous for 11 years, and the program of 12 steps, which I did over many times. Again the foundation of the 12 steps was the bible , and limited in its ability to set me free to be me without being inhibited with the fear all others in the program lived with of relapse and death.

Siddartha by Herman Hesse introduced me to Buddha and the eastern ways, but I just could not get into the path he chose nor desired the enlightenment they proclaimed he produced either.

It was around this time, I picked up one of my stepsons books called the I Ching, I read very little history about it, even so, thought let me see how it works, and for a period of time,practiced that as my daily meditation and guide.

Then I met the dao initially thru "The Tao of Pooh" which many ridicule, and truthfully I didn't actually understand, but it was a gift from a dear friend at one of my yearly anniversaries of being clean off of all drugs, so I read it.

It wasn't till a friend of my step son quoted lao , "a journey of a thousand miles" that my curiousity was truly awaken.

As it would happen again my stepson who had moved a thousand + miles away left three books from his philosophy courses( he graduated with a degree in Philosophy)"Tao Te Ching" ,"Chuang Tzu ,the basic writings" and "The Watercourse Way"

For the most part this is all I have experieced. But as with the bible, I read read and studied these books over and over for years, practicing whatever lao or chuang said the dao was about. With intution, I took them as my master and teachers, thinking why would I need a human to teach me that which was evident from those who were said to be the authors of the entire experience. My curiousity occasionally took me to others, who had written what they believed and thought was, the way, as they saw it. They all seemed to be saying the same thing.

For me I came to the conclusion that all the meditations I had done for years and all the practices I intuitively worked without a master or teacher took me to the same places others arrived at with a human being explaning . I have always looked for the simple and practical after getting totally absorbed in christianity. Anything that got complicating, became drudgery.

One of my practices was to take a chapter a year from lao on my birthday , starting on my 56th year, i read over and over during the year chapter 56 alone, and I have done this every year since. Should I still be here on November 8th I will move on to Chapter 69. I allow myself from time to time to read over those chapters before, the one I have stopped with, but not beyond.

When I started to believe all relegious concepts passed on to us where actually governments propaganda to keep their peoples under control and manipulated, I began to let go of the dao.That is how and why I arrived here.

My path has been becoming more clearly Nature itself for sometime now even before I did arrive here, September 21 of this year. My way to enlightenment could only come thru nature itself, at this point my total perception has become, Nature is the only trustworthy teacher, and I am simply another part of this remarkable magnificent Nature that surrounds us.

It was the quantum theory that sealed this perception, as I saw all as Universally one, and the connection of all to Nature itself. Thereby also connecting me to all that had ever been before my existence and all that will come after, whatever it had been or would ever be. Freeing me to live in the here and now, it was no longer necessary to search the past or fantasize the future.

Therefore ,after dao and after karma, were no longer questions neceassary to ponder and I could allow these last concepts to go away with all the other concept and ideas that had come to me from outside of my own being thru out my lifetime. And finally live life instead of questioning what my existence and purpose was all about. Allowing all to go about its natural way with out interference from me.



I need to go plant some flower bulbs, so that next May there will be new colors blooming in our back yard sanctuary.

Thank you for your patience with me:)



Well as circumstances come along the new bulbs did not get planted today.

Jeanne and I took Ralph and Brandy our 11 and 12 year old puppies to the park, brandy ran and chased squirrels she never catches and Ralph peed on everything he felt need his scent.

I read some clouds to Jeanne. When we got home Jeanne and i were out the front of our property, and when she went to pull some weeds she fell backwards and scratched her leg and banged her head , no damage appears to be seriously done, though she fell hard.

We came inside and Brandy loves to watch movies of animals on DVD so we put on the shaggy dog and laughed while she climbed up on the screen to lick the doggies.

I threw some burgers on the grill and we had two sandwiches and Brandy and Ralph got their burgers as well..

as well.

We are getting ready now to watch the Last Samurai, at one time I studied the philosophy behind the Samurai , it is one of my favorite movies, full of honesty and courage and compassion.

So as they used to say in Narcotics anonymous "you can make plans but you can not plan the outcome.

May be tommorrow the Lilacs, Tulips,Daffodils and Irises will get planted.

I would like to get it done, in case next year I' will have departed this existence, and Jeanne will have the memories of yesterday, today and tommorrow to ease her seperation.:)


Edited by metzu

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites