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permanent changes in awareness field

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heya peeps, i thought i'd throw this one on the buddhist board as this is very much the context to my practice/teachings. i thought i'd seek some input about something that seems to have happened lately, see if people here can offer an explanation to what might be going on. i've had teaching on a few retreats and started training in meditation throughout the past year or so.


additional context is that i sought this out having been struggling with chronic illness for many years (late 20s now). the dhamma provided all the answers to what's been going on, how to start to correct this stuff and even clues to 'interesting' childhood experiences. i have a lot of unwholesome kamma/energy so it's a slow process wearing away the conditioning - the root cause of my sickness (autoimmune in nature). however it's progressing nicely via a body parts healing meditation, a very powerful practice indeed. i've also been lucky enough to receive dhamma from a fully realized teacher, transmission, etc, which is absolutely mind blowing stuff.


anyways, i was at a sweet spot when i started getting into the healing meditation a couple of months ago. there was a point where i was getting decent awareness throughout the body, but not too much or with so much chi that the deep stuff was coming out and pressing my buttons. i was able to get really settled just abiding, always a pleasant experience for someone as disorganized as myself. i was also getting a lot of awareness while asleep, remembering dreams in lots of detail and on one occasion experienced a lucid state where the dream world was totally luminous, light shining out of everything. i was more present that i'd ever while awake and my field of awareness was infinite, though i quickly got excited and snapped out of it.


it seemed to be around that time that things changed something happened to the 'field' in the waking state and things have remained that way ever since. it's not worrying or anything, just very curious as it's is now a permanent thing. the best way i can describe it is that the field is much broader (kind of like in the lucid dream but not that expansive) but at the same time much more focused. it's particularly noticeable when walking along corridors or walkways with walls or something on each side. it's like a tunnel effect and really cool. there's something about walking down long narrow corridors which really amplifies the effect of whatever happened to the field. i'm sure people will know what i'm talking about. there's also something else where if i focus on something, particularly if engaging another person, that the entire background kind of goes out of focus and i'm totally locked into them or it. it's really strange and again very cool, i had only previously had this experience when receiving transmission from the teacher.


i'm also more sensitive than before, though i already have too much of this and barely any equanimity, hence getting into such a mess. moving into other peoples energy field is more noticeable and it's easier to be aware of how that's interacting with my own. certain people also give off a 'special' energy and that's something i was aware of as a child. so, meditators, can anyone offer an explanation of what might of happened that triggered the change in the field and why? it did seem to happen around the time of the lucid dream experience and that's probably not a coincidence. likewise, i'm sure the 'field' will open up and change in a myriad of ways as i progress further into healing, the practices and living in alignment with the universe. especially after such a long time of trying to bend it to my will and breaking the rules! :)

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