Rara

Thanks all. After having another conversation with her today, it is clear to me that she is having a mental breakdown. It would seem that she has read too much alternative media and it's all taken its toll. @Nungali Tbf, I would say the base of what she is saying IS happening. But thr problem is, it's happening with everyone...marketing, obtaining IPs etc is just the norm now. What she has done is exaggerated this into an out of control fantasy that she is believing. I know for sure things are going on. Call it what you like, illuminati, NWO or simply just a political heirarchy...but there is a difference between that and say, freaking out over a parcel of bubble wrap that SHE ordered through Ebay that is going to arrive today. She says that she has "no idea who is really sending it...it could be from anyone and Ebay has no regulated security". The company has already accepted to refund the money but she is still worried about this parcel as it is still going to be delivered and she needs to send it back. Blatant paranoia. Thanks again for well-wishes. We're going to sort a doctor out first and I'm going to be present so I can see exactly what is happening.

Ok, I am convinced that something is trying to get my attention. Computer games are going missing from their boxes and ending up in random places. At first, I thought it was me being absent-minded, or friends. But over the past month I've been so busy that I haven't played them much...and no one has been round, so I'm ruling friends out. The other day I found a game I had played recently in the case of another one which I definitely hadn't been touched in months - it was at the bottom of the pile! Now on to last night. I developed a cold overnight and awoke around 5am sniffing etc. I was in and out of consciousness then I ended up in some lucid state (this has been a regular occurance around April time...but I wonder if the illness has triggered it) Anyway, in this "dream" I was walking back into my bedroom. My partner was in bed complaining that I had been making too much noise...but she appeared posessed. And as I tried to approach her, I became paralyzed as if something was holding me back. I couldn't move so I started screaming... At which point, my partner who was in fact lying next to me, woke me up by grabbing me. Like I say, I'm use to the paralysis/lucid dreams and have always seen them as sort of paranormal...yet still a creation of my own mind. I have battled demonic-like creatures before in them...I have also has very euphoric ones too! But with games being moved about in my house, I can't help but think that there is also something external involved. Thanks for reading. I look forward to your replies!

I was going to put this in a new thread but figured it might be relevant... On Satan...or an "evil" figure that laughs... Laughing at deeds, vengeance (what Satan is all about, right?) etc...does this not indicate happiness? The same way in which some people are "happy" living in their bubble (in their heads) We can argue all we want that we can be liberated from meditation etc. Surely the atheist/satanist can be happy in their ways. Sometimes I think people just enjoy misery...one way or another, it's the same emotion as those that enjoy pleasantries. Food for thought?

There was a similar thread to this before...and it got locked...whatsupwiththat? In answer to your question, and I'll repeat what I said in that thread, according to Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, the answer is no. That's all I've heard though...I don't know what other teachers say. I personally take this opinion with a pinch of salt.

And what are you...?

I'll leave mine on today if I can figure it out

High possibility I am a medium...as another recent thread turns out. Early stages yet if so.

Weird, I used to get this quite badly with street lights and cars (specially with halogen bulbs) when dark. You just reminded me that this sensitivity has gone! Could well be a passing thing for you...but yeah, sunglasses of some sort as a temporary measure might not be a bad idea.

Hello! Yes, I need to drill this "me running the show" stuff in...it helps in general...with everything! Ok, I get most of what you have written I'll work with it. What stuck a chord was "Part of that process is about choosing what you want to do this time." I've been looking for someone to clarify this for ages. I came to this conclusion ages ago, it's the only way it could be. I just never found the person that was "there" with the understanding of this. If this makes any sense? i.e If I raised this in a separate thread in this forum, most would still argue against it due to the popular belief that "karma" is an external force. Almost like God judging and sending us to heaven or hell. No, it can't possibly work that way. Everything I have ever done has been an effect of a cause...or causes and effect. Everything. That HAS to include coming into this world...although my parents technically gave birth to me, really, I gave birth to me. How can my consciousness be here otherwise? The only thing is that I have nothing in the memory bank. Nothing before age 5 really, never mind pre-birth and past lives. I guess that part will come next once I have done enough grounding/exercises you have given me. "Entertainment, yes. Good selling, yes. Fantasy...all of life's a fantasy. My suggestion to look at her is more based in the way she safely controls her gift, to stop it from overwhelming her." Ok, that's cool....I don't dispute any of that. I don't personally see the value in selling the gift (likewise with my partner's Mum...I see it bringing a lot of misfortune in itself) each to their own I guess. Thanks for all this, there's enough to keep me busy!

The Tao of Vengence... Many people will oppose that. But I am adamant it has its place.

I went to university... So I guess the answer is no, never did work. Just watched TV. I'm cured now. I'm in the real world.

Rofl

Nope... And herpes can be funny...if told in an American-joke style hehe

Cool! I have an Aldi down the road Yeah I'm very selective about the chocolate I eat. It's always dark, never Cadbury. Especially NOT Galaxy...that stuff is just sugary milk. My favourite is McVities dark choc digestives and Sainsburys Jaffa Cakes. Has to be dark, sweet and filling. Choc by itself does little for me because I'm still hungry afterwards. But yep, I do often feel drained and eat stacks of food to keep me going. I'm only just about normal build for my height on over 3000 calories a day. This is why I started chi breathing, which helped a bit. But if I'm under a lot of pressure with duties, I find lots of food to help me power throughand ritual chocolate really helps.

Agreed on the Blackadder! I much prefered The Office to the US one. Friends and South Park have always been my favs from US. Really in to US "awkward" humour right now...Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seth Rogen films etc.

Fawlty Towers? Anyone? Mr Bean and Blackadder too...

Oi! That's the 2nd time I've caught you. Nah, granted, 90% of TV comedies I like are American.

Agreed. Though I bought some 85% cocoa chocolate the other week. Ended up not being content and ate a load of biscuits after. Any habit will take time to change, I figure.

The thing is, she felt the radiator on! This was around 2/3am and the timer went off around 9pm in the evening! So that's what's weird. But the burning up thing, and the sweating...very odd as just like your wife, I literally soaked the bed and pillow. So either I'm a medium or ill. Or both coming hand in hand I suppose. Haha, cosmic suncream. With ya...that's more understanding in the bag for me. Everything being connected and all effects each other. My partner has been researching all this herself. Sounds like you two have stuff in common and I have things in common with your wife haha. But yes, I have already identified my "very yang" nature and I guess my being "closed" only feeds it. So being more grounded, eventually more open, alkali foods and chilling out will hopefully help me restore that balance. Holistic therapy, as they call it.

Yes I escort the insects outside now too. Only sometimes they die if they are small and accidentally get caught on the rim of the cup as I trap it and scrape it onto the card. Some ants were killed in our recent infestation. But 10 dying for the rest of the army to live is good going imo. About the ascention period. I feel I have been through something similar. A few years ago, I sprayed kitchen cleaner on ants out of panic from an infestation. I cried as I watched a survivor run to help his dying friend. It prompted me to find humane ways of dealing with ant infestations in future (and preventing them). My landlord even agreed to dish out money on building maintenence. He must love me lol. Would you say ascention and kundalini are the same thing? Just different words? That could be a thread in it The unable to move thing...this is exactly something that was happening too. I would wake at 7 every morning only to be pushed back down and put into paralysis...I had the most euphoric lucid dreams until 9...each with their own divine message. By day, I was a madman...nothing made sense but it was beautiful. I wasn't dangerous, just carefree...the sort of dancing in the rain type. It was so out of character. Somehow, I kept my career running though...it certainly felt that something was looking after me. Or maybe I was looking after myself, just without the "trying". Likewise, my cyber friend that I meantioned also went through a similar thing. He warned me not to tell anyone immediately close because they would think I was mad. Another friend warned me not to see the doctors because I could get locked away. Wow, thankfully I have great friends looking out for me! I always thought Mr Miyagi did kill the fly? I better rewatch that now. Funny about your relationship with the cat...I saw it all playing out in my mind. My partner is so fond of cats, she behaves like one haha. She nurtures well, but I tell her when she can eat her fish lol.

Sorry! Busy weekend. Have bought myself some time now So I started with your advice...watching my partner with an open mind. Interesting how compassionate this exercise can make us. Are you suggesting in the long run this will help my mind? That learning to get in touch with our inner femininity is good for us? On internal observation of being open: I made progress with this a while ago...then life got busier so I guess the practice slipped. I know what you mean though, it is impossible to just start doing affirmations and expecting a sudden change. Detatch myself and observe first, then move in to change when I'm ready. Got it. So chocolate...fair enough. All I know is that it makes me happy. Really, I guess I fear losing the one thing that keeps me sane...I mean, I'm good with everything else, so I believe that having the sugar treat is ok. I am happy to minimise my intake though. First of all anyway. Haha, funny stuff about the synchronicity. What job do you do? Thanks again for the alk diet advice. I'm sure I will be hassling you once I get stuck. Funnily enough, when I read your post a few days ago, it all seemed quite overwhelming but now I see that the mindfulness, being present and observation are the keys here. I need to "see" what's going on before I take any more action. Dietry or ghost-wise! Otherwise I'm just stabbing in the dark on superstition. But if I just focus on mindfulness/grounding, the rest should become easy... The other day, I went to speak to anything that was in my house. I got nothing...but it all felt a bit rushed and out of context anyway. I should get myself back on the mindfulness wagon. Amazing how we slip up without realising it! What you say about "faith" is lost on me a bit. This year, on this forum, I have discussed the concepts of good and bad in many threads and learnt from some very clued up people that my judgements here are holding my development back. So I understand the theory of what you're saying now...just the practice is hard. "Faith" in what exactly? I don't know a world that doesn't include a belief or choice to make...so what can this "faith" be if it isn't what I think it is? I associate "faith" with having a choice...a decision to make. It seems that you are suggesting otherwise...? Now, on to grounding etc. No problem there as I mentioned earlier...that will be a priority. However, I have no idea what a spirit guide is and if they are true. My partner's mum is always going on about them (she is a psychic by trade!) but I've never really had a clue. As for Theresa Caputo too, I'm not convinced either. It just looks like entertainment to me...just fantasy and good selling. Hehe, wow, I never imagined my landlord "loving" me. That's a very interesting explanation you have given about refuge etc and I will have another read about Atlantis (well, and what happened after) and various other stories that reflects this "rest" that we are talking about. Because that is something I am do have faith in haha....and there I was thinking that I was out of this resting. I never realised how much further I have to go. I suppose it has been tiring up to this point. Living 26 years, growing up in a matrix, seeing it all to be an illusion at age 22 and then moving out of home and still having to work with the matrix whilst realising I need to break the chains....yeah, wow. I'm shattered...and it still only looks like my journey is beginning haha. So much has happened in four and a half years! But ever since I woke up to everything, it has been exhausting. And maybe that comfort chocolate or that easy living arrangement has become an attachment without me realising. I definitely have a clearer understanding now, so thank you for all your time! But now I ask, if you are not a medium yourself, what are you? A psychic or other? I feel like I am being nurtured somewhat...so who nurtures mediums or sensitives in this chain? I will try and answer your other posts during the day Bye for now!

Too late for all that...the internet is here

Cool! This guy again! I remember seeing this thread ages ago and just remembered to hunt it down. Nah, I don't wanna get caught up in these petty politics. Enough of that in my Kung Fu world. I must say though, half the people he's talking about don't even post here that much. Paranoid?

Lol...there are so many white people turning to Islam here in Yorkshire. That's a head scratcher for me. Then again, we did have Christianity dumped on us too long long ago so I guess it's ok for Islam to have a go. Well my point is, aren't we all somewhat (especially on this forum!) following some aspect of a culture we weren't born in to? I wasn't born in to a meditating family, that's for sure!

Ya...or perhaps it is their path to discover it? We live in interesting times...the internet and immigration is bringing cultures and ideas together like wildfire. To think my late uncle didn't know what Tandoori chicken was...that is unheard of for anyone say, under 50 these days, right?