Sure. It all started back in 2006, I was at uni helping out some friends over the summer with a few film-making projects, stuntman, runner and driver. At this time I was smoking a lot of weed and had just been introduced to MDMA. I remember my first trip being rather introspective, whereas everybody else was very outwardly manifested, I was very quiet and for some reason began to focus my attention on how I had reached this point in life, and how I felt greatfull for all the bad things in the past that had happened to me. Had they not happened, I would not be here and my path would have been different. At that moment, something changed, snapped, twigged. I was free. I don't know if I would describe the sensation as lighter, looking back now it was so intangible but I just knew it. I discovered an interest in meditation and would sit down and be absorbed for hours, my libido was there but I felt no desire to use it. No porn, no sex, no masturbating, I just did not feel the need. I was truly happy.
One day I was smoking some pot and I felt a massive heat stirring in mah loins, I laid down on the bed quite curiously, and the next thing I knew a bolt of lightning went straight up into my brain and I exploded into an infinity of light. After coming down I knew I was different, I felt like Jesus or Buddha in some kind of emancipation. Bliss.
However it was not to last, I tried recreating the feeling (lord knows why, couldnt I just be happy?) and masturbated. As I ejaculated, I saw what looked like golden sparks coming off my aura, and that was it. Gone. I remember watching some tv with friends, a huge eye came out of the set and looked at me, and then the yin/yang symbol came up and was ripped apart. That night I was in bed, and heard voices coming from behind me. It announced its name as Satan here for my soul, at which point I just... fucking lost it you know. I thought I was going insane, but not really having time to reflect on it as now I was fighting a red mist that was enveloping my consciousness. I eventually grew so tired I just gave up, at that point I found myself floating in a pool of some description, with a female voice and a flower over me telling other beings to back off.
Since then its been a weird ride, I'm kind of just at the point now where I feel I've grounded myself enough and stabilised enough to go about searching for the truth of what happened.
So, anybody have any tips?
Obviously the number one is... lay off the drugs. And I have done. Very very very occasionally (once every 6 months) I'll have a tiny zoot on a toot but thats it.