Immortal4life

1 minute ago, ilumairen said:

 

Since we're at the daobums, arguably a spiritual forum, I would suggest there are most likely men here whose happiness is also not dependent upon outward curcumstance. Recognition of the inner "source," and it's natural expression is something many aspire to. Perhaps you've simply met more women who are naturally in touch with this than men, and maybe some of the men here could share their own experience to help broaden your horizons. 

This is pure idealism, and I would suggest veering into outright fantasy

23 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

How much energy and effort are you imaging this bit of banter is expanding, and more to the point, why would you imagine this?

 

 

"Men Explain Things to Me" redux

 

 

This is entirely dependent on how you define, categorize, and envision both.

 

 

Define the terms. 

 

Would frustration and anger count as emotion? Would knowing the layout for easiest flow of household chores be logical? Where is the line between emotion and logic in navigating interpersonal relationships? And how do you rate your own response to the attractiveness of the females you are considering in the opening posts of this thread? Is this attraction only logical, or is their some underlying and perhaps unrecognized emotional component?

 

Attraction in the sense I use it, is initial attraction, so it's the biological instunctual part. After attraction comes connection, comfort, arousal, etc. These are separate things we can categorize more finely if you like.

 

Of course the layout of household chores is a logical process. As I mentioned before though, I 'm talking about motivation behind it. What's your motivation for cleaning your house?

 

Here's a good article touching on this

https://www-washingtonexaminer-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/stop-telling-men-theyre-defective-women?amp_js_v=a3&amp_gsa=1&_amp=true&usqp=mq331AQFKAGwASA%3D#aoh=15871378364973&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From %1%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonexaminer.com%2Fopinion%2Fstop-telling-men-theyre-defective-women

"

One reason for the relentless male-bashing is that women have been taught to believe the sexes are the same and, as a result, assume that when men don't behave the way women do, men are somehow failing.

Take this article in the Wall Street Journal headlined, "Fairness in Housework Doesn't Mean 50/50." At first glance, it appears more even-handed than many other articles on the topic of how housework and childcare get divvied up between husbands and wives. But you can tell where the blame is headed at the opening of the essay, when the author, Eve Rodsky, recounts a story from an outing she took with her friends, all of whom are married with kids.

 

Apparently, all the women received a text or a phone call from their husbands (although actually, some of the calls were from mothers-in-law or babysitters, thus negating Rodsky's argument that it’s an issue of male ineptitude) who were calling to get their wives’ input on whatever it was they were trying to manage at home.

“Why doesn’t ‘equal’ ever seem to work when it comes to sharing family duties in our household?” asks Rodsky. “Women would feel less overwhelmed by doing the majority of domestic duties if men fully ‘owned’ those tasks they do take on.”

 

Or here’s another article, this time about research that shows the more wives earn, the rockier their marriages tend to be. Rather than study the complex reasons for this, the author makes numerous references to men’s “egos” and the notion that society’s backward attitudes are to blame:

“When wives earn more than their husbands, some men just can't handle it.”

“Even in 2019, old-fashioned views on marriage prevail.”

“Oh, how fragile is the ego of a man. We must never let him feel like a bonsai in a grove of California redwoods—no, he must always see himself as a towering tree, magnificent in comparison with his female partner.”

This bitter condescension toward men is unfounded, not to mention counterproductive. No relationship can flourish when one partner views the other with such disdain.

Men and women do not parent the same way because they’re not interchangeable beings. If your husband needs help managing the home front, it’s not because he’s not “owning” the task. Most men are simply not as invested as most women in the details of what goes on at home, nor do they spend as much time inside of it. Moreover, men’s brains are more linear or single-focused, so they’re not going to multitask as well as women. And it’s unfair to expect them to.

Men also do a boatload of housework and children-related tasks that rarely, if ever, get mentioned. It is mostly husbands who take care of yard work, the gutters, basement cleaning and leaks, car maintenance, the driveway, the roof, and running the children around to their sporting events. None of that even touches upon the "Honey Do" lists wives give their husbands: Fixing all house repairs, hanging TVs, changing the filter, picking up the dead mice or other vermin, putting up Halloween and Christmas decorations, fireplace cleaning, assembling new furniture, and painting the house

 

Bottom line: Men are not defective women. But that’s what the culture teaches through films, television (even commercials!), and articles. Sadly, this belief system has seeped into women’s souls, causing them to believe men are weak or lazy when they don’t do things the way women do them or when they don’t react the way women react.

Women who harbor this mindset will never be successful in love. Only women who understand the unique nature of men, who don't blame men whenever something goes wrong, who harbor compassion rather than resentment toward men, and who are able to bring out the best in men will ultimately win at love.

 

7 minutes ago, ralis said:

 

Actually, your narrative is naive and informed by male patriarchal propaganda. You will not win this argument!

I dunno man, I'm doing pretty good against all of you so far, I'm a pretty clever guy. We'll see.

1 minute ago, ralis said:

 

You pretend to know what my qualifications are? Good luck with that!  

You're the unknowable, mystical, mystery😂

1 minute ago, ilumairen said:

 

 

"Men Explain Things to Me" redux

 

This is a conversation. It's a two way thing, it takes two parties, to be ...you know, interactive. That's the whole point. I said explicate, not not talk down to or whatever. Don't feel so attacked🙂

5 minutes ago, ralis said:

 

Now you are playing psychologist with no qualifications except some sort of New Age patriarchal bullshit belief system.

While I don't feel much need to qualify to you, I did qualify the context perfectly adequately for the scope of your own qualifications in this discussion here with me when I said "if you interact with them a lot, and pay close attention"

 

If you insist though I suppose I could post more real life examples in practice 

Just now, ralis said:

 

Men in the context of religion, politics, xenophobia are responsible for most every war. War is neither rational or logical!

 

Hitler, Mussolini, Mao, Alexander, Napoleon, The Papacy, USA under male presidents, European Kings and so forth. 

No one's arguing that men or women are always rational in practice.

1 minute ago, SirPalomides said:

 

How is that negative? I'm reporting a thing that actually happened. You're the lot complaining how you're oh-so-oppressed by multiculturalism, women having these awful "rights" thingies, etc.

You just live in your little world too where you make things up to be however you want too!👌

3 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

 

I value entertainment, and you're as boring as reruns of Gilligan's Island. 

😂😂

 

Ok decent. I'll give you +1 cool points for that one.

There is a difference in how Men and Women think though if you interact with them a lot and pay close attention. 

 

Men's emotions follows their logic. Women's logic follows their emotion.

 

So a man would typically make a statement like this..."Things are good, therefore I feel good."

 

But for a woman a statement that would make a lot more sense would be something more like...."I feel good, therefore things are good."

 

2 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

A man who has found his niche and audience - predominantly among incels and men feeling dejected by women having rights to make their own choices and speak for themselves. 

 

:yawn:

That's a stereotype and it's not true. Go to one of his speeches, he packs high end classy venues, and you'll see a lot of couples dressed extremely nicely. More like men in fancy suits and women in Pearls and high heels

 

3 minutes ago, SirPalomides said:

I had a co-worker who taped a print-out of Peterson's stupid rules on his work computer. Despite it being an incredibly easy but well-paying job, and the boss being extremely patient and kind, he got fired after about a month; the guy called out almost every other day so he could get stoned and play X-Box or whatever; when he did show up, he would be watching KKK and other white supremacist videos half the time and showing them to everyone. Also his favorite band was Oasis. Good grief.

You definitely are a negative guy! You just  like bashing everything and everyone, oh man you're too much I love it.

Just now, ilumairen said:

 

I wouldn't care if you did. 

 

Logically, and observationally, this idea women are more emotional is only tenable when certain emotions (as expressed by men) are negated as emotion and a patriarchal status quo is upheld, whereby men can speak with certitude and argumentation is entirely dismissed as this emotionality they somehow don't experience. 

 

It is anything but logical, while touting how very logical it is.

 

Boring drivel as far as I'm concerned. 

Well I appreciate the effort and energy you're putting in. So I'll explicate a bit on this idea you bring up.

 

I've certainly never thought men are "more" emotional than women, or that women are "less" logical than men.

 

It is my experience though, that women typically value emotion and intuition in their daily life and affairs. Men typically value logic over emotion in theirs. So this is mostly a strawmam🙂

I typically find that news articles where they make you sign up with your email address in order to read, usually to get you on their mailing list, are not in fact news or good articles.

So cynical and harsh man, who hurt you?

Well you might be right, I'm not discounting your feelings completely.

19 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

But, Jordan Peterson says blah blah blah, and this study indicates further blah blah blah...

 

 

Thank you. 

 

Hey there's no need to pick on Jordan, he's a nice guy.

Are you trying to convince me of that, or yourself?

1 minute ago, Earl Grey said:

you pretty much register as a sleaze who thinks he has marital skill and pickup skills but has never seen the real thing or met the real masters in action.

 

Too predictable, a guy who thinks he has the regality of a phoenix is nothing more than a fratboy peacocking for attention. 

 

Talk to me when you've got something really worthwhile bragging about, "little boy". 

Didn't mean to get you quite so riled up😂

12 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

 

I never indicated anything about my success with women, as I don't kiss and tell. 

 

I don't debate women's real nature because that's not my place to discuss, it's theirs. 

None of this is honorable, nor will it gain you any attraction or respect. Perhaps lip service or empty pats on the back, but nothing real. Good little guy, you're a well behaved little boy. You know it was really nice to meet you, bye now, more men should be as nice as you, bye.

 

Psychological studies have shown all people are notoriously bad at self analysis. Talk is cheap in other words. Remember the old saying "actions speak louder than words". If we want to get at truth, a goal and fundamental principle of Taoists, we need analysis not self reporting.  A person's nature will always be revealed in their actions not their words. When a subject knows they're being observed the results of the study become skewed. Words don't show much, results are king. Similar to the difference between an experiment or study, and a survey😉😂

5 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

 

Otherwise, start giving a history lecture on the Dadaist influence on Fluxus in the middle of copulating with your date and see how well that fits into the situation, if it contributes to it or if it makes your date raise her eyebrows and wonder what the hell you're doing. You're doing the same thing here. 

I bet I could pull it off and make it work

 

And afterwards they'll be all like "that was so hot, what was that stuff you were talking about, it turned me on so much you sounded so smart"

Probably not, they wouldnt relate, so they would just lose attraction and move on to the next guy. You're presuming more than I am. Some women do find logical analysis of dating dynamics interesting though. It just has to be presented in a way they can emotionally relate to.

 

 Women are beautiful, emotionally, wonderful creatures, who give back tenfold however much energy and love you give to them.

 

But apparently success with women, accepting women's real nature, triggers something deep inside you. Something you're insecure about and pushing down so you can't fully express yourself or your sexuality.

 

 

They might not relate to logically analyzing conversations, working as a team with each other, and giving fedback, because women tend to typically favor emotion and intuition when it comes to dating and mate selection. But I can tell you women show their girlfriends their conversations all the time, to get their friends intuitive feedback, see how their friends react to see if the guy will fit in well with their social circle, and to have a fun laugh mocking the creepy and dorky ones. 

 

1 hour ago, Earl Grey said:

 

Even if you block out names, these are still private conversations. Go forward these links to your prospects and see how they feel about you posting their conversations here.

I'll tell you what, after I've really solidified it, had sex with them several times, and fully emotionally converted them, I will do this and I guarantee they won't care. If I do it out of the blue before that point, then yeah of course that would be weird as shit

I feel it's ok since I thought I was careful to block out any potentially identifying information.

 

Dating and relationships are a subject I enjoy and am very interested in. Since I decided to check this place out again in my social distanced boredom, have recently gotten back into online dating, and it's a topical subject in the news right now, I just thought maybe someone might be interested, perhaps I could help some people, or we could have insightful discussions.

 

Why do you personally feel a resistance or discomfort concerning it? What issues might you be repressing in yourself?

So post your own, and perhaps I can give you my thoughts on your messages,  or anything else you'd like to discuss