Everything

What is money, to you?

What is Wall Street?

Yeah, me aswell. I take great interest in physics. Great Physicians take great interest in mathematics and wisdom of ancients. The worlds most influential people were all masons. Wether it was constructive or destructive influence... There needs to be a balance. Thus, I believe there is a current need for constructive people to learn about these ancient wisdoms. Divine geometry, numerology, etc. Are all fascinating things. The nature of the universe, what we are, why, why, and more why. We have to be naive and keeping asking these naive questions. Never believing the truth you find, to constantly grow towards a more universal truth. Allot of stuff is kept secret for many reasons. The student whk is eager to learn will always receieve a teacher. Where the ears of a student hears, the teacher comes and fills it with wisdom.

If he didn't posted it, I would have not come across it. Very unlikely. I am very greatful for immortal4life posting this. Thus, you should be happy for me! I'm sorry if I'm too forward about this, or if it seems I'm attacking you and defending immortal4life. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. Don't even remember why I wrote it.

Fiveelementtao... Relax man... Immortal4life is just posting some stuff here. Have you considered maybe that he posted it all for me? Someone who is interested in these things, but doesn't know many sources of info. I know that changing your believes is annoying, I've been trough that aswell. Alot of religious people are left brained even. What immort4life is hinting at is the universal law. You cannot know it if you do not go trough the spiritual experience of your last change in believe. Usually, the resistance is biggest here. When you understand that everything you believe is fake, that this is the constant truth, only then can you grow towards the light. Then these wise sources of information will pop up, place the light right in front of you and you will not be closed to it. When you believe that everything is fake, it doesn't matter what you believe. Human nature then constantly addepts his reality towards a better one, more loving, more kind, constantly improving on the truth. Ever changing, an eternall journey towards the light that is promised to never end. Heaven... We shall be like the children of the light one day, if not our grand children or theirs. Why not become a child of the light today, right now. Know that everything you believe is fake. This is the only believe that is real. When you do not resist any new information given to you, in this experience and this present moment. Then naturally the truth arises out of this chaotic state and darkness is illuminated. When you latch on to this truth, you will become blind. No better more truthful truth will be able to replace it. Never latch on to your truth. Always recall that everything is fake. This is the only way of balance. The last awakening of human civilization is within the universal law of everything being fake. This law shall levitate the people towards the heavens. No matter how many lifetimes he's been stuck in his hell.

Police are actors who wear weird uniforms and pretend they're something they're not. Its really funny. Sometimes I act along with them. They don't really like it when I do not act along with them though... I personally think their badged uniform is really lame. They should wear flowers that compliment their act of kindness towards humanity. Entertaining the people with your acting talents, a badge is less appropriate then a flower. Make me president and I shall set new laws for police to wear flowers.

Hehe, I love that drawing.

I think the title of this topic is very inapropriate... Police risk their lives everyday for our safety. If there were no police, there would be no more criminals! How do I report this topic? I want to flag it for trolling, or act of terrorism.

Alot of people think that sleeping more then 8 hours a day is unhealthy, useless, a waste of time. That a person who sleeping is not working or productive. Thus, someone who is sleeping is not part of society. Some people even desire to "cure" themselves of this imaginary disease he calls "sleep". The cure is an alarm clock. And according to doctors, when 8 hours isn't enough, you're not eating enough. Hehe... That is obviously a by product of the industrialized world we live in. I wonder how much those old monks sleep and eat. I've seen someone with my own eyes who is 103 years old, sleeps alot, and eats very little. That doesn't match the common believe out there.

What if you're yang deficient. Sleep less? Constantly sleeping little, a person sometimes is equivalant to being legally drunk. No sleep, followed by a holy sht boom mega long sleep sounds awesome. Just like the best meal on the planet after not havin eaten for a whole day. Would that increase yang? Or just restore balance by visitin extremes?

That is very interesting, because I've experienced the same thing. I thought it was a coincidence. Perhaps I should try that out again.

Do you remember when you were a small kid and you really wanted something. Just thinking about why you wanted it made you want it even more! Then when you got it, you were really dissapointed, felt ashamed for wanting it so much, regret whining for it, and realised that this void within you is still not filled. You are seeking friendship, not objects, but you're too stubborn to admit it. So you convince yourself that this object is not good and there must be something else you do want. If you do not convince yourself of this, other people do it for you! They say "why don't you want this anymore, you wanted it just a minute ago!" While I say to children "It doesn't matter, you never wanted this anyway" and I give them a hug. Thats all they want to hear... It seems that the desire for spiritual is the only real desire that can be fullfilled. Trough friendship and sharing. The toys don't mean shit when it is not shared and shit means everything when it is shared. Don't you guys feel the same way? I realized this during my excersize that I do often. I'm still filled with alot of irrational desires that I can't seem to get rid off. This is what I did: Today I imagined that I could magicly conjure money into my hands. Then I decided that I would quit all of my work/study efforts to make money, because I could magicly conjure it... So now I opened a website for laptops. I'm crazy about laptops. So I put together a laptop. My dream laptop would be 700 dollars or so... But while dwelling in my fantasy I had infinite money so I no longer looked at the figures or numbers of the price! At first... Slowly I selected the best things I could find, because I wanted the best parts for my laptop. So as I slowly selected more and more stuff, this laptop really got me excited and my desires were raging like maddogs. I even got smiles on my face by selecting the best of the best parts that I did not even knew existed. Pure technical stuff... It gets the nerd out of me. Then slowly as the price came to 10000 dollars the excersize ended, because I realized something shocking... I realized that even with infinite cash the price of materials still bothered me. So I meditated and tried to remember why it bothered me still a bit, I tried to recreate the experience. This is why I bothered me: I recalled that the price of this material bothered me, not because of my lack of money for it in that fantasy... It bothered me because other people could not enjoy the same thing, it bothered me because I could not share this object with others, it bothered me that other people would want my laptop if I bought it for my self... Conclusion? If I had infinite money, I would never stop buying the whole world this 10,000 dollar laptop untill everyone had one. Only then would I buy myself this laptop. Only then... I have to put my self last, else my heart wont be at peace.

I just wanted to say that its the other way around for me. My mind a cage that keeps me from dancing with the one I love. But my heart and body holds the key to rythm. I saw an old friend at a party, he refused to dance because he was thinking. I dragged him around the room, and he woulden't dance. His mind went in circles, I can't dance! Did you know that a believe is Idea that is glued to emotions? It attracts more ideas. I asked this to a person who was trained to beat a lying detector. Te brain is measured for extra activity or less. When there is less, it means you don't really believe it like the other things you did believe. If you don't believe anything, everything becomes equal. This is a confusing road to walk upon. It doesn't even exist in words, such a road. Your believes forms a map of this reality. So that everything becomes simple and easy to react to. Without this map of reality you're lost. Have no ground to stand upon. This is why most people go back to the ground. Where I have learned to fly. Constantly maintaining a state of confusion. I can change believes like they were never even a believe but a thought. The growth of a believes I do in minutes that takes others years. Its like you are free to create whatever thought you want at any given moment, if only you accept that everything fake. That reality is real, but not unchanging like you've thought. So you start to say "I can dance." I often addopt realities from other peoples mind, temporary. Wity dancing, I become micheal jackson. The regularr mind would say"no you idiot! You cannot be micheal jackson!" and this are those moments where I find it hard to resist revealing the truth to other people. Because micheal jackson is relative, and ths I can become him. In my eyes, then I will truely become everything I thought he truely was. I just begin the journey of a thousands steps, and with one step I know I've finished it. The truth is we will vecome micheal jackson in the eyes of many, eventually. if we keep believing it. That is how nature works. Believing is your most important tool. And it is done not trough the mind, but heart.

Hehe. I just make some desperate attempts to explain the source of me. I don't recall why I overcame the mental disorders. I want to understand my self. Because I began this journey not for me, that much I know. It sux when you can't understand why you are so much more content with everything compared to most people. Without clinging to pleasure. I guess its related to my inability to recall. Now it seems that the whole world around me has borderline disorder. Not to sound arrogant. There is this artist in my mind, I forgot her name. She had borderline, and she actually uses the symptons for her music! The extreme emotions produce emotional music. Maybe bach's music in the form of fugues is based on this complimentary mental disorder, hehe. Its hard to explain. All has to do with polarities. Bach is a mason, he believed "as above, so below" Thanks for the kind words, tulku.

I can't. Its already part of me. I treat everything of equal value. Your words were read with my fullest attention, but these words I write is void of that attention to your earlier texts. Thank you again

Its hard to explain. Its like one moment the problem may arise, but when I wake up the problem is still there but it no longer affects me. I don't think I should try to explain... I'm just at peace with everything. Even with pain. Ugh... This needs more thought. Maybe another time.

Thanks. It may seem like what other people want I deserve too. But I no longer view it that way. If someone gives me, it will not be a gift and I make it clear. To me, I only want other people to be happy and kind to me. The feeling of the heart in te moment. I stopped the whole desire to open up this pandora's box in my subconscious. I don't even recall why. I even let go of my memory at some point and my memory has become real vague. I can hardly remember what I did yesterday, I can't remember. I trained my mind to block the acces to the ability of recall. Perhaps because when memory no longer exists it becomes stored into just another fantasy of mine that is of little value. Even though alot of exciting things might have happened. I treat all experiences the same and give them equal value. This destroys my believe systems from the inside out and allows my emotions to flow freely and in moderation on every thought. I try to live more fully in the present everyday. Up to a point where time no longer exist and I just die. I this is all I want in life. To feel the fingers typing while I write this topic is the biggest privilige in my life. There is no memory of greater things. Its all gone. No memory of bad things. My memory becomes worse everyday. It feel tranquil and peaceful. Returning to innocence. I don't care if its considered wrong, I just live this way. I refuse to recall past experiences and denie there existance even. When people talk about the past I've come to accept it as some imaginary fantasy of his/her. This is a fantasy of mine. I like fantasies, but I always return to the moment where everything is equal. I'm currently very happy, you must understand. My life is great. Those excersizes were fantasies. I love to dwell in my fantasies. Its fun from time to time. I just always return to this present moment where I live trough my heart instead of mind. I try to avoid thinking even. Its good to have your fantasies when surrounded by people.

I tried your approach of analyzing how my subconscious effected my life in such profound and deceivingly ways. Just like you analyzing my thoughts. You really encouraged me to go deep into the subconscious, I thank you for that. The thing is, I've already gone trough that and it didn't really have a lasting effect. It left me with a feeling of awe to the power of subconscious and hopelessness. Knowing the cause of disharmony doesn't really solve it?

In this excersize I was completely comfortable with my desires. I was even possesed by them. So excites, adding all the features to this laptop as if I'm realy going to get it. Then at the end, I always get this feeling that I do not deserve it... I can't take away this feeling, don't know how. My mind is like "your very life is a burden to this planet" I do not see a great laptop that I can use. I see a great laptop that someone else wants more then me. It makes me feel guilty for even wanting the laptop because I care that much. I'm already egoless. I was born without an identity and I felt guilty even when I played with a little toy car. I always chose the worst toys on purpose. It is the only way I could play with a peace of mind. I guess I blamed my self for my parents fighting, and never developed an ego because any ego that came up I would murder instantly. I don't recall much from my childhood, but I can defenitely see how these things affected me. How playing with toys as a child already revealed my wish to not desire material things. I wanted to die, have no ego. But I was not allowed to kill my self, because my parents did not approve of this. So I spent years long killing my self while being alive. I attacked my identity and it was thus never developed. Still today I have no clear identity. Even though I overcame the harsh symptoms of borderline disorder, there are still remnant of it in my life. Yet I'm trying to figure out a treasure in this curse of having no self. I want to understand the Tao to be happy without an ego. I cannot enjoy outside things anymore, cause I no self have self. Moving trough life without having opinions. They call my mr "i don't know" i can now have much more opinions, but in the past I could not. Today I do have an ego, but I can't find peace with it. That why I felt the struggle at the end of eventually giving my ego such a hige gift. Those are my current thoughts. Why would I buy a laptop? My mind asks. Why oh why, you unworthy petty human that you are! You should be happy with nothing! And my mind says to his self: I'm right! I'm going to be happy with nothing!

Yeah, A friend of mine noticed this too. He said when a man has a girl, he will shut up. Because then everything will be alright xD I want to solve my own problems, not that of other people. I could only aid someone solve his own problems.

How do I work or study alot and still be able to increase my consciousness troughout the day? When I study for example it feels like I go on autopilot, automatic mode, low on awareness. I want to have extremely high consciousness no matter what my activities are and this activity of studying hard really puts my into a low awareness mode. My body just dissapears and I'm sucked into the study material. There is no other way I can study, I don't know how! I notice it in the quality of my dreams. During workless periods where I have no worries or stress on my mind I am very aware of my perceptions during the day. During sleep I often get lucid and get very vivid dreams with alot of interesting events. For example, hungry cats and wolfs rage and bite me really hard. I fear that I loose my hand, then I recognize its a dream and I change the reality by summoning some food and shelter for these beasts. The rain stops, the sun arises and trees and flowers blossom. The wolfs pull my pants and lead me up the beautifull hills to an ancient indian shaman as a reward for my kindness. This indian then talks about the oneness with nature, etc. While studying allot during the day I become really low on awareness. I have little time to meditate as usually spare time is spend on other ways of relaxing and also socializing. When I do meditate, the effects don't last long as soon as I go dwelling into the studying material again. Its like my spirit leaves my body when I don't focus on my body enough. As if it gets bored and just leaves and takes my awareness and consciousness with him. Then I dream vague crap about find a toothbrush and constantly dropping the insides of my pocket for 30 minutes in a row. It is madness, the cycle of insanity. So again, how can I study alot yet still remain more aware and have higher consciousness? I don't want my studies to also rob me of my dreaming time. I hate it when I'm just so asleep all day and night. Low on awareness and consciousness. My fakeness detector is just completely turned off that way. What can I do about this? Surely alot of hard working people in our society must have suffered from this lowered awareness from hard working?

Sure, that would be a great ideal... How many people would agree with you at this moment? I don't think many. Very little even... So I think we should even appreciate the very quest of searching food. While we're at it anyway, why not? Always share your faith that there is already enough food on the planet for everyone. It will be contagious. People will fear a lack of food less this way. Instead of making war over a lack of resources, people might do more wise stuff with their faith in humanity, like switch to a resource based economy.

I just wanted to add my opinion I just wanted to say that even though he may be wrong, my desire to get happiness from the inside is huge and it is what lead me to Tao te Ching. So he hit something deep within me there with some random guess, or whatever ge did.

Man, when I feel cognitive dissonance I just know I'm wrong... So go ahead. This is my current thought. I want a laptop for everyone so that mine doesn't get stolen. But that assumes in a way that there shall be people who will want a 10000 laptop... So it is like backward rationalization. I'm willing to accept that alot of things out there are projections of mine. The thing I'm curious about: Do you recommend that I do not project my desires onto others? Why not?