steve

In my mind, this is a different issue. This example is more related to rules and consequences. The master of a lineage does not need to feel forgiveness for the precept-breaker, they need to enforce the rules in order to preserve the tradition or insure optimal training. I can forgive someone and still expect them to be appropriately punished. The master can feel genuine compassion and forgiveness and still exact punishment in order to teach a lesson. The forgiveness is in my heart, the punishment is an attempt to modify behavior, two very different things for me.

Another important consideration here applies to those of us following spiritual paths like Bon, Buddhism, Advaita Vedanta, and so on. Forgiveness and repentance are associated with the sense of a finite and persistent self. If we are able to release ourselves from the captivity of that limited idea of self, forgiveness and repentance are spontaneous and effortless. The degree to which we feel wronged, or that we have wronged, is the degree to which we remain attached to a finite sense of self. So the process of releasing and opening into the present moment, free of the baggage of expectations and judgement, naturally leads to forgiveness that is not dependent on repentance and to contrition that is not dependent on forgiveness. These are all must my own personal musings and I don't suggest or expect that my approach will work for others. Just sharing where I'm at on my journey, fwiw.

Forgiveness, for me, is a personal and private act of releasing the pain and bitterness of perceived offense. It has little to do with anyone else or their choices. It allows me to diminish my own burden, if genuine. Repentance or contrition is also a personal and private act of releasing the burden of having offended myself or others. It allows me to diminish my own burden, if genuine. If I depend on someone else’s repentance to consider forgiveness, or vice versa, I am only harming myself, no one else, withholding the possibility of healing and growth. My sustained experience of offense and the associated stress only harms me, it does nothing to my offender. Maya Angelou has some beautiful statements and poetry about the subject. The film Rubaru Roshni is a beautiful and touching film about forgiveness, highly recommended.