rain

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  6. Posted · Edited by rain

    The following is collated material, some of it posted on here before...it is approximately what I believe at this moment, but is sure to change, yet even though it is not entirely true, it is useful still:

     

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    First what I want to tell you about is the Kundalini, as I believe that it is in you as well. I thought this many years ago, that it may be in everyone, I do not know for sure, but it is widespread through people of every religion including atheists, and is applicable in many mental illness states as well. This is what I have come to understand through almost two decades of research and first-hand experience.

     

    There is a reason that Kundalini is often called ‘the Great Masquerader’ or ‘the Trickster.’ She simply takes your own beliefs and reflects them back at you- you design the puppet on your own mindstage. The Buddhist deity images of 1000-armed Chenrezig, Kwan-Yin, etc. with their thousands of eyes and thousands of hands accurately portray this idealized Goddess. We are its eyes, and we are its hands, we are its minds, we are its voices. My relationship with Kundalini is as it should – empty – contains all possibilities.

     

    My working theory is that anything out there, whether its called Kundalini, Jinn, Holy Spirit, Scheckinah, spirit guides, Archons, Dark Force Entities, angels, demons, ghosts, etc etc etc, all have the same basis. Same for all channeling, speaking in tongues, thought insertions, thought deletions, alien contacts, you name it. "Some view that which guides a person as a transcendental being and give It a name such as ‘Prajnaparamita,’ ‘Manjusri Bodhisattva,’ or ‘Amida Buddha,’" ‘Kundalini Shakti,’ etc. – they divinize it. Maybe it is divine; I haven’t made decision as to this – which is probably best, although eventually I do plan on divinizing all things under creation. It is, if nothing else, beyond genius in its understanding, its abilities. “When a person discovers the existence of this ‘something else,’ the paradox of right effort can be solved, because it becomes apparent that there is more than one sort of effort. (I.e. spontaneous yoga/kriyas) The type of effort which arises from this ‘something else’ is more a matter of willingness than of will. It is a willingness to let go of things moment-by-moment: ideas, opinions, wants, fears, ideals, judgments…everything. It is the willingness at all times to learn, to be open to seeing in new ways. It is a willingness to do ‘what comes next,’ shown to us by the ‘something else.’ This is the ‘effortless effort,’ ‘actionless-action’…No ‘me’ is involved, no ideals, no thinking or planning, no control, no direction. The work is that of the ‘something else.’ The direction appears naturally when we stop chattering to ourselves and let the ‘something else’ get a word in edgewise.”

     

    I agree that specifically aiming to channel anything through Kundalini is a waste of time because she has proven to countless people that she only tells you what you want to hear – she reflects your subconscious desires back at you. She becomes what you want her to become – but not surface wants…its all based on subconscious desires and roles that you project on her. I have felt more cumulative love and adoration towards Kundalini than I ever have towards any human being. I have offered myself up to her as food to be eaten, in the spirit of Chod powha, where you offer your own body up to the demons in a tantric feast. When I realized that the Kundalini was simply showing me myself, I realized that I simply adored idealized constructions of my own mind. Kundalini makes up as much the ‘me’ process that I am as anything else. But I think that Kundalini simply becomes our ‘self’ to show us our ‘selves.’ Although there seems to be that extra little bit beyond that – that little ‘push,’ which we see from time to time. To go seeking the something extra is a waste of energy. Seek nothing, accept what is given. As far as I can tell, Kundalini is the only spiritual presence I have ever contacted in my life. No other spiritual being ever gave me anything or has shown face. She has also ‘been’ every other spiritual being; I simply figured out after a while that she was behind it all. I only call it ‘she’ because I have typecast her into that role of Goddess.

     

    “The merely imputed ‘I’ that I call myself doesn’t exist.” So sayeth the Buddha. Kundalini actually becomes your own ‘I’ pushing you to see your own nature. If my mind is a fragmented mirror, composed of a multitude of small selves, Kundalini is almost like a force that pushes the image of the mirror towards the center of the mirror where awareness lies (or maybe awareness is watching the mirror, I don’t know) and this makes sure you know what your mirror is composed of.

     

    Does belief in Kundalini create it? Does it then take a life of its own and gain skills? I think it’s separate, but I would be willing to accept it if this was the case- right now my working hypothesis goes with Kundalini being ‘other’ using ‘tough love’ guidance to direct one towards unity of self. I could always be wrong. The reason I believe its separate is because it has done things that I could never do – physiological and bioenergetic ‘tricks’ that indicate an external control. I won’t go into these now in too much detail, but if you want to know feel free to ask.

     

    I started hearing voices and having very clear thought insertions (where thoughts appear in your mind apparently from another source) when I started meditating...it increased remarkably when I started trying to channel my 'spirit guides' around 1998. There is a strong genetic influence to this...my aunt, who used to be a minister at the main Spiritualist church in Rochester, can channel spirits as well - she does readings for people. Interestingly, Rochester is the first city that the Spiritualist movement started in. Spiritualism, if you are not familiar with it, is a kind of Christian-like worship of God, with the addition of channeling, automatic writing, speaking in tongues, etc. It has similarities to Pentecostalism and even Quakerism.

     

    Soon, this force could expertly move my hands and other small parts of me. There was a time that I thought it was my Reiki spirit guides. Note that this intelligence could also affect my emotions and my thoughts. The more I relaxed and tried to calm my own thoughts and listen intently, the more this force could penetrate my being and affect me on the physical, mental, and emotional level. I noticed that the types of movements usually corresponded to whatever spiritual path I was interested in at that time. For example, when I was initiated into Kriya yoga, from Babaji, Yogananda etc., the intelligence would start to perform certain hand mudras and yoga gestures - things that I did not know and had to look up the meaning of afterwards.

     

    I also have to mention that during these years as my contact with this 'presence' was growing stronger I was actively trying to engage it in mental conversation. To hear the words of this intelligence in my head at first was difficult and was basically a meditation in itself. I used the same techniques as any other channeler would use by the way. Eventually as this presence was able to more fully enter into my neurological system, the effects became clearer and I was able to mentally hear specific words on a frequent occasion. I began querying this presence and received usually one word answers - which were mostly complex multi-syllable words which I did not know the meaning of and had to look up in a dictionary.

     

    It was during a 2-3 month period of intense emotional purging that this intelligence was able to completely 'enter' my neurological/nervous system. During a short period of time in the summer of 1999 I experienced most of the more 'hard core kundalini awakening effects' such as energetic pulses going up and down my spine, strange pressures in all parts of my brain, feeling as if I was breathing through various parts of my brain which corresponded to chakra locations, rapid body heat changes, visions of such complexity that I knew that my mind wasn’t the one making them, times where one or the other of my nostrils would close or open, and I would be breathing out of only one, then it would suddenly and quickly switch...I also experienced ecstatic feelings of love and bliss in many different forms, which were far greater than any kind of drug experience I could possibly have had. I am quite sure that I also had various hypertensive effects - rapid blood pressure changes, lots of scary effects that made me think that I was going to faint or have a seizure or something. At this point I was now constantly in dialogue with it and it was continuously working in my body 24 hours a day - even influencing my dreams.

    After my last trip during this time period, I spent about the next month feeling what I call the 'sparklies' - which felt like intense little shocks throughout my nervous system - most of them small, some of them large and corresponding to major chakra points - especially the muladhara chakra. Also after this major awakening event the intelligence had full access to my nervous system - it could physically move me around just as easily as I could. It could lay on any emotional state or feeling in my body, play any kind of mental imagery across my inner picture screen that it wanted, and a month or so after the 'sparklies' ended it could also talk through my mouth just as easily as I could.

     

    Kundalini passes from person to person much like a ‘spiritual virus’ (it may already be in everyone, but the 'awakening' of it or 'encouragement' of it is what passes from person to person). Basically, what is 'awakening' is our connection with what has been called the OverMind (sometimes called the 'Conscious Collective'). I think the OverMind is exactly the Tao, or exactly ultimate reality, or exactly Gaia mind, or exactly Christ Consciousness, etc. It's like how they can link individual computers to create a supercomputer with amazing processing capabilities. The supercomputer is like the Tao, and when we link our own computer with the supercomputer, we gain the truth and the power of the entire network. Instead of analyzing the supercomputer from a distance and trying to infer what the master program looks like, we actually allow the program of the supercomputer to be placed directly into our hard drive and to subsume our own programs. Kundalini use the identities that we create for it, and animate these identities in our heads, fleshing them out, making them more real, and then presenting those faces back to us. It tries to make us see our own programming, so that we can re-program. You might ask why it doesn’t just create a new program for us…I don’t know, but I have ideas. One is that the programming is based on lifetimes of Karma and can’t magically be updated. Another time for that though. I do know that Angels and Demons are all from the same source- us.

     

    Gods are demons. At least Gods of the mind – they are ‘thought constructs’ – at least that is what your mind knows…God is really out there, but the mind cannot know God without becoming God…and when that happens there is no more mind, there is only Godmind….so really, the mind cannot know God. So if you think you know God- you don’t. Because of this, the God you think you know is also a demon – because demons are false creatures – they lie…but the demons are you of course – it’s the ‘you’ of your mind creating a false God, and then because it’s false, it is also a demon. Demons are irresistible and are created by exacerbated symptoms of the mind. We cannot help but be attracted and repelled by them at the same time.

     

    SIDE_NOTE:

     

    Personally I am not in agreement with the theory that Kundalini 'awakes' in the muladhara chakra...I think it simply and directly integrates with the brain. I am not sure if it’s endemic to each and every human being - I think of it as an external super-entity that seeks out specific individuals to integrate with....perhaps because they are available or because they are chosen as wayfinders to help distribute knowledge to the rest of us. Kundalini "comes in" through the brain only and stays in the brain...the reason I put 'comes in' in quotes is because there really is no actual entry, there is no barrier to kundalini from touching ones nervous system. Matter presents no barrier. The reason that you feel various effects within the body is because kundalini is moving through various areas of the brain that control these areas and integrating with them. When you start having spontaneous movements, this is because the kundalini is getting access to the pre-motor and motor cortex areas, which control all sensation of kinesthesis and all voluntary movement respectively. Kundalini is an intelligent entity, perhaps electromagnetically based. The brain is a bioelectromagnetic powerhouse. Skin, muscle, bones, organs (i.e. gross matter) present no obstacle to kundalini as matter is 99% space. It has no need to enter at a specific point. More to the point it simply attaches, makes contact, or 'gloms on' to your bioelectric nervous system as easily as you would reach out and touch someone. Its main area of influence, as stated above, is the brain...it goes there directly....I use a technique called 'Occam's Razor' see: [link to en.wikipedia.org]....The problem with mysticism is that it relies too much on anthropomorphism. Kundalini is clearly a noncorporeal intelligence, thus it has no gender, no form, and no limitations by the physical laws as we know them. So like I said, it would not be limited by our physical structure...just as radio waves, x-rays and other portions of the electromagnetic spectrum can pass through our body as if it isn't even there, I am quite sure that the Kundalini can too...The problem with kundalini is that it increases emotionality which can lead to false belief systems which much resemble schizophrenia-like hyper-perception of synchronicities. One becomes very sensitive to stimuli and notes things that other people wouldn't see and one can read too much into them. The Kundalini will not disavow us of our belief, it will leave us alone to form our own opinion, or even support us in a false opinion. That is why it often called, 'the great masquerader' or 'the great trickster' as I said- in a way it plays games, but not really - all it does is take our own belief system and send it back to us magnified until we burn through it....years later, in retrospect, I saw that the kundalini had been with me almost all my life - influencing my dreams and perceptions from a young age....Just a quick explanation about the pre-motor and motor cortex - all movement is initiated from here. When you decide to move something, a rapid relay of information travels back and forth to/from the area you are moving to the corresponding areas of the motor cortex. The pre-motor cortex area senses/receives, and the motor cortex stimulates/sends the commands to the body part. When you feel something touch you, in essence you are not really feeling it at that body part, you are actually feeling it in the brain, specifically in a kind of kinesthetic map which is called the 'homunculus' which is like a miniature model of your body. Even intense feelings like orgasms are actually 100% experienced in the brain in the appropriate area of the homunculus (If you don't believe me then Google it). Nothing is actually experienced in the body itself. The signals are sent from the corresponding area of the body and then experienced in the homunculus. See this page: http://truebluehealer.blogspot.com/2008/10/lay-gnosis-post-kundalini-signalling.html I came to the same conclusion as they did separate from them. I only saw this a few weeks after. That gives me some more confidence in it. With Kundalini playing with your ‘homunculus’ self, you can feel as small as an atom, and as large as a mountain. I have felt my body seemingly morph into different shapes, such as my hand becoming a mallet. One time in a lucid dream the Kundalini changed my entire perception of myself - it made me into a shape of a Ficus tree. I felt like my body was shaped like a Ficus tree. So you see, kinesthetic sensations are malleable...and they all happen in the brain. Think of the phantom limb effect when someone has one amputated. It would make the most logical sense that the kundalini does all this through the brain. Even if you feel a certain 'chakra' being stimulated, it is my belief that the kundalini never actually leaves the brain, as it doesn't have to. Occam's Razor leads me to this belief. Yes, maybe it could modulate the signals coming from a body part at the source, I am sure it could actually...but it makes so much more sense to go to the sources of perception and signal relay and affect it there. Kundalini can influence your brain chemistry to create any emotional state you like.

     

    When there is the unknown there is room for gathering data about the unknown. I like to explore models of truth by staying empty and flexible. I empty myself and try different things experimentally because it’s a really good way to find out the truth. I look for patterns behind the patterns. I don’t currently accept any of the reigning theories about Kundalini…I accept parts of them as being most likely. There is a scientific explanation for all things spiritual and a spiritual explanation for all things scientific.

     

     

     

    BACK TO THE STORY:

     

    What are illusions? The term is usually used to define something that is temporary, but as all things are temporary are not all things illusions? Since everything is constantly morphing and changing, and nothing stays the same how are we to define anything as permanent, or as being true (except perhaps that change ever is and this is unconditional)? As soon as the thing has been noted, it has already changed from the original perception. What is most unreal is the model of reality that is known as ‘mind.’ The Tao is constantly changing, so is illusory, yet it is also the most real illusion that is. The mind is always slightly different from what was just perceived. Therefore, all things are both real and yet not real, with the mind being the least real to varying degrees depending on the person, but always less real than the Tao. Words are misnomers, they are just ideas, symbols they don’t actually describe physical reality they describe a mental reality of ideals. They are all relativities…No relatives exist in the absolute, which is the Tao. Neither true nor untrue, true being a mind made concept – an illusion. How can an illusion ever be called true, but also…how could it ever be called false? Neither true nor untrue. Everything just is…It has “Isness” -when we look at things and give them relativistic labels such as good bad, pleasure pain, up down, etc. one can try to avoid the things that one considers negative, and this is probably preferable, yet one is also creating thought constructs in the very act of labeling something is negative, which strengthens that their negativity which did not exist before labeling that thing is negative.

     

    Our demons: “Spirits of envy and strife. They like pain and misery, greed, hatred, deceit, dark passion, incest, violence, fear, dominating others, hopelessness, lasciviousness, etc. They are parasites. And they are us. They exist in our mind. Let them control you and you will be ensnared. Fail to master them in your lifetime and you are ensnared for life, beyond the hope for redemption in that lifetime (if Karma is real then you will have to deal with them again another time around). The mind is the parasite if you don’t learn to be its master (i.e. if it doesn’t master itself). It believes as it does-creating a thought loop – “it eats itself,” snake eating its own tail. It tries hard to believe itself, becoming one with awareness. It is a series of infinite trials, a series of infinite jests. It exists to control us through its voices/feelings…It believes as we do – it makes itself up…when mastered, you are the creator of your own reality. When I say control us, I mean that the mind controls itself- different facets of our being co-controlling the whole of our multiple selves. Don’t listen to the voices; they are jinn-spirits (illusions). Kundalini pushes these to the fore so we can deal with them garbage that exists in our minds, deal with the illusions that we are. Don’t believe anything I say either. Don’t believe anything you say. Eat everything that comes in, become empty again… Illusions manipulate illusions. Self manipulates Self. No one person. No two people. Endless beings are all the same. Each one different. Endless truths, one truth. Holding to the truth makes you tired and old, begin fresh by erasing your self...Never say never. Always say always. Drop what you had makes us empty. Pick up what you learn makes us full. After a while the streets get cleaned and everything shines. Choose truths wisely. Chooser, the act of choosing, and the choice become one.

     

    “ Buried within you are our minds…the part of us is inherently buried within “garbage DNA”…the scrambled code for evolutions principles…the environment is causing this. Buried within us is our ‘career’ our pathways – the Kundalini told me this...Whatever our environment is brings out specific ‘careers,’ habitual pathways, roles, socially structured or self-structured. See also how DNA’s programs are brought about depending on our environment (social, emotional, physical, and chemical)), it is like this: The mind believes the thoughts because it (is them) interacts with them. In belief lies the career. The mind “careers” us – makes us infallible slaves to ourselves. We are as we believe ourselves to be. Your mind become itself – it assumes the spiral shape, a convoluted donut. Different selves seeing different selves not knowing they stem from the same source. The mind eats itself in parallel, assuming its guise. It believes…as it is, so it becomes. We are all beliefs in ourselves, mind-made streaming energy. Ideas are mental sabotage. Brought on by foreign forces (ourselves labeled as foreign: demons, spirits, fragmented selves, other people). We are foreign to ourselves until we realize that we are all ourselves…Ideas can be merciless things (paranoia example). Ideas about ownership create pain (attachments, wars, hate, etc.). Most ideas are baseless. Evolution is the ‘spirits’ inside of us forever united as energy. Chi is spirit. It is one with the mind. It believes itself. Its performances are legendary to itself. The mind carries the spirits like wind…it incorporates them, it invigorates them. Jinn are self-created jests…Belief in storms creates them as awareness entities in your mind- spirits of the mind that talk to themselves. See this page about the Jinn: http://www.thejinn.net/index.htm they are Kundalini, holy spirit, etc. I don’t believe everything they believe there though, but they have some insight.

     

    The mind believes itself because it is itself...it creates itself, it makes itself a legend to itself because it adheres to beauty like a magnet, like a chick following its mother. We are phantoms, states of mind, perception attainments, only allowed because we are willing. We allow all the demons/parts inside of us to exist because we are attracted to their desires...Desire creates the demons/angels. The mind creates itself. Mind is a theatrical device – it makes illusions, plays, and stories. Micro focusing on sexual appetites is vicarious thrill of demons (incubus/succubus). Learn to love the demons. Micro focusing on hateful desires is also our demons. Realize that you already love the hate on some level. Love your demons and school them better. Make them Buddhas. We are all filled with wrathful demons. They are the coolest, once you begin to accept yourself. If you make all your other selves Buddhas (or Jesuses or whatever you want), then you become That.

     

    Everything you see is a mirror. You see yourself.

    Everyone lies. Nothing ever stays the same, so as soon as we speak something, reality has changed on us and it’s a little less true, even if it was just true a minute ago.

    Everyone seeks – no one finds. As soon as you find what you were seeking, the thing that was found has changed, so it’s no longer what you were seeking. Labeling things in your mind creates false reality. You create a map of the universe, but the map is less true every second, as soon as the map is created (assuming that you created an accurate map in the first place – doubtful!)

     

    By basing understanding on a reflection, no matter how accurate - you are always slightly living an untruth, even if it is only by 0.1% error…but when one truly integrates with what really is, one is always true and always completed. As the truth is constantly changing as the wheel turns, the truth does not remain stagnant, but rotates in step along with 'that' The truest truth one can attain - at least as far as I can tell. You have to stay linked with it though- think you are linked with it, and you aren’t. There will be no thoughts if you are.

     

    At the same time I think that a full mind is also a constancy of our reality - forever emptying, forever filling. Whether the reflection is accurate because of direct perception, or whether it has become an accurate perception through mental fencing...both have value, but I think in the end that learning to empty oneself as often as possible, one learns far faster than the other. Both ways can bring bliss, but by emptying, bliss can also come far easier as well.

     

    The Tibetan Buddhists (in the Vajrayana school I think) do this practice where they view everything in the world as a big mandala, and all the beings as various divinized gods and demons. This is viewing the mind as everything and making the mind a holy place of gods and demons. This is nearly exactly the mind techniques I use. It is unifying oneself to the divine by creating a divine inner reality. But your focus changes depending on what’s going on at the time, so its not one-pointed focus techniques...focus is there, but ever-shifting. Focus is used to create ideal forms, to replace the minds not-so-ideal constructs with better ones, thus replacing the selves with better selves. It flows with what one is being presented with.

     

    The mind is like a reflection of the universe. A map of the real thing. So while it is part of the universe, it is also separate...kind of like a Russian nested doll. We only know the reflection from a dualistic standpoint. Everything else but mind is outside of our direct, unfiltered awareness - just a reflection. Most people live in their mind palaces or mind reflections. It is really difficult to meditate and attain Samadhi or absorption. I have only attained brief flashes from working really hard. I may eventually be able stay in that state, but I sincerely believe it is only a perception attainment at the same time, until full and permanent Samadhi occurs - then you are an extension of absolute reality and there is no more 'I', just reality...pre-Nirvana realizations are definitely the most accurate reflection of the truth one can approach. One can certainly shape their mind to most accurately approach true Tao or Nirvana or permanent absorption by using contemplation with thought - lots of evidence for this out there. The reason I am making the tool way down below is to help better explain how the mind works and thus the universe to all those who will not meditate - who see no reason to do so, and yet still want to understand and have as accurate a reflection of reality as they can. I can tell you that there are more people like that then there are people who wish to meditate. So instead of just telling people - "you should meditate and find absorption," I am aiming to help them in the way they are willing to be helped. Saying that you should just meditate to someone who does not want to or feel like doing it will simply fall on deaf ears- give someone a tool that they WILL use and they will use it and it WILL be helpful. Give someone a tool that they refuse to use and they will simply drop it on the ground and your energy was mostly wasted. I know that this is true for I have done it myself ten thousand times and seen others themselves do it ten thousand times. The funny thing is that those who speak of just dropping the mind and seeking unity often have just as inferior mind maps as anyone else...Their mental models of the universe are still incomplete truths. I have talked with supposedly enlightened people who have spoken twisted reflections of reality - people who meditated every day for years. There was this famous Theravedan monk who meditated his whole life who thought that there was people living on the moon. Enlightenment doesn’t necessarily equate with true knowledge – it just feels great. More advanced knowledge can come through enlightened beings than any other source, yet there is value in being a scientist and having skepticism.

     

    So a mind construct is like a symbol or an ego creation inside your head... Can any thought or any idea actually represent the true you? We have a mind construct for everything...you have a mind construct that represents me, one for yourself (that you call 'I')...one for every object that you have any awareness of...chairs, garbage, anything. The are aggregated associated memories....Think of a pyramid that contains everything related to a specific subject...say the one for yourself...the tip of the pyramid is the name representing the mind construct...I assume you think of yourself as 'I' mainly, with your name and what you look like somewhere near the top as well. Then underneath is the structure that contains all the associated parts of yourself that make up the 'you' identity (or 'I' in your case)...you know how memories are all connected with related memories, for instance - if you think 'red car' your mind will automatically bring up any red car you ever encountered in your life, if you give it time enough. This is how the whole pyramid works - it is called an 'aggregate ideal.' The whole pyramid of 'I' is the whole of you as a mind construct, whereas the tip of the pyramid is the words that symbolize the whole. The problem with most people is that they don’t realize that all the mind constructs in their head are really themselves because they have separated the mind constructs into self and other...The allow certain others to become closer to their own 'I' such as family members - things they own etc- in which case those mind constructs are collectively grouped under 'me' or 'mine' Then there are things that we consider 'the enemy' such as rapists, murderers, tyrants, big corporations, etc. These are all collectively organized under the aggregate mind construct called 'the enemy' or 'the hated ones' or something like that. When you realize that all the mind constructs are you and yours alone, you start to realize you are everything - you are every part of your mind - you are the devil, you are the rapists - they exist within you as your own self divided from realization that it is one self. So we have arguments with ourselves in our head...you remember traumatic incidents and the 'I' construct relives them and re-imagines the acts perpetrated and has a fight with itself 'I' and 'the assholes who hurt me' not realizing that you are really the asshole now. So we spend all day fighting ourselves and making life hell...thinking that it was that other person who is making us hell - but no - you made more hell for yourself than anyone ever did. If you were truly able to let go of the mind construct war - as meditation seeks to do directly, then you wouldn’t suffer anymore - ever again. But its fucking hard to meditate properly - you have to practically remove yourself from the world and never have any input from TVs internet, other people, etc. See the problem with associative memory processes is that they spark those mind constructs back into reality over and over again all day long. Words are evil things...Let's say you were raped and you see a news report about some serial rapists on the loose. Your mind construct of 'rapist,' which is intimately connected to 'the rapist who raped me' is automatically activated upon hearing about 'the serial rapist'- it has to be or else you would not be able to really understand what a rapist is...your definitions and labels are the tip of the pyramid, what’s underneath is what makes up the body of the definition. So because I cant meditate well - too much of a crazy brain that is too hypervigilant and easily fight-or-flighted by any kind of stimulus - prevents me from meditating in the direct awareness way as easily - I get sidetracked to easily...So I decided to use a different system which is like jnana yoga or Zen koans...you directly involve yourself in mind constructs by basically paying direct attention to them and reshaping your understanding - you create a new mental map....you refine and refine until your mental map most resembles ultimate (truest) reality. You basically recreate your mind constructs without effort (if you are the type that loves to think or can’t help it). You take advantage of your endless thought process and simply direct the flow to reshape the whole mind map. Its more fun than meditating for me....it makes you happy.

     

    Also think about this: Have you ever said to yourself, "I wish these thoughts would get out of my head!" That is how most people are...they see themselves as separate from themselves...they haven't realized the unity of mind yet...working with mind constructs means owning them all - never avoiding them…It takes two to argue and by splitting the mind into two (or more, which is the case), you will not reach wholeness - which is ecstasy - you will only continue to section off the brain into fragments - you will end up creating a garbage heap in the bottom of your mind that is the 'unwanted parts' which will fester and create suffering because it never truly goes away - there are no mystical universal mind garbage men who come pick up the trash. We are all walking around with trash heaps in our minds, deserts, lakes, prisons, everything. We say its not us, but it is us....We are actually the snake eating its own tail....there are not more than one snake eating you - just the snake that is you eating your own self...I think that when the snake realizes itself, its stops eating itself, and then the hurting of the self disappears...the snake head disappears maybe even and you become a circle? I don’t know I haven't worked that out yet....

     

    People are creating environments in themselves which are wasting their Eros everyday. They send it to these illusory thought constructs instead of ‘real’ (as real as can be) beings, including their ‘realest’ thoughts. They don’t realize that their thought constructs are themselves so they send this love to an imaginary other, when they should really learn to love themselves first and then real others. We are possessed by our mind. Our own demons possess us. Every day there are lies being spread all around us – by us and within us. We believe the lies and suffer.

     

     

    What to do if you are talking with someone who is a liar, but you want information?

    …if they are willing to interact look for clues, patterns, see if you can see behind the mask. Use these methods to get to know your many selves. All your selves are liars, because you think they are true selves – they are fabrications of the mind. Puppets dancing on mind strings.

     

    Look for basics:

    -where?

    -what? (How shaped, how formed, made of?)

    -when? (Seek evidence of its manifestation…look into the past, track its trail)

    -Why? (See if you can figure out the reasons for what it does – look at the patterns, figure out its goals, what feelings does it move from – find its seed source)

    -How? (Research scientific explanations for how these things might occur, never stop learning about mind)

     

    “Ultimately an ego is a resistance to what really is...its the ways we create to resist life as it is...its not a thing – its verb…it’s the pushing away and pulling towards…its this grasping or rejecting that forms a separate self.” What we are is awareness- that which is watching us pretend to be a separate being. What we are wakes up from the ‘me’ It’s not the ‘me’ that wakes up, it more like awareness remembering it’s self. Universal spirit wakes up to itself. What we are wakes up from the seeker, from the ‘me.’” – Adyashanti

    ahh this was great read. I could not finish today I am afraid. Why do you have the need to use so many words to come aross with your ideas. do the talking sooth your intellect? keep it shorter sweeter. the masquerade and trickster is just it. thank you. I will finsih reading later..probably. - just one more thing, claiming kundalini non-material does not hold up, just because it uses or can be read through several to us appearing different scientific means does not make it merely ethereal

  10. Posted

    I just purchased a chinese herb called Lei Gong Teng/Thunder Vine/Tripteerygium wilfordii. Is anyone familiar with the use of this plant? I accidentally ordered bark instead of capsules..and now I do not know how to prepare it.

     

    Do I cook, grind or put it in alchohol?

     

    Would very much appreciate some help, it would be a pity to see it wasted. :)

     

  11. Posted · Edited by rain

    often trouble in the lower back is a response to or corresponds to immobilized torso or shoulder area. in addition to circulatory movements of the hips and the regime you already thought of and Joes advice, I would look into tummo breath or just pull/suck in your tummy on both inand outbreath as you bend over and straighten up. to stretch and elongate the inner fascias around your ribcage, especially in the back around your shoulders.

    • Like 2

  13. Posted · Edited by rain

    Are you still going to die or was that doctor wrong?

    It is not for me to say yet. ^_^ Or..I could say the doctor was wrong. I am still learning about ethics and trying to make amends. My first intuit reaction was that he was dead wong. (pardon the humour). But better not be too "haughty". I have a lot to learn.

     

     

    How are you doing now? Are you bracing yourself for departure from this life? I am good. And bracing myself for both staying and departing. Does it make sense? Much Love

     

    Every turn of stress is handled with an even larger amount of Love for this earth.

     

    Thank you for asking. :)

  14. Posted · Edited by rain

    The idea of death was intellectual until a doc told me that I probably would die. It intensified my everyday experience of life. Just like someone on this forum asked me once I started meditating "how long do you meditate, how much time do you spend in meditation"..both these two priceless discoveries have one thing in common. the idea of death and the death of action gave me more life in a shorter span. Both states were like a clean-up. Surplus shit was expelled. What makes it possible for an organism to tell, to organize? What is it about that black space? "Buddhist here buddhist there"..

    • Like 3

  16. Posted · Edited by rain

    Third eye..so you are supposed to see things automatically? Are you sure about this?

     

    Sitting in the darkroom retreat, listening to the intitiated students talking to the master about soaring the cosmos - seeing the planets they were visiting on will I felt unengaged. It felt like being back in kindergarten looking at the grown up trying to please. I stink at it obviously.

     

    My experience with the third eye was not visual, even if I tend to use visual image to share. Oh sure electricity can be seen, is what you see... ..but what really happens?

     

    It was energetic and functional and did not lead to an out of body experience, rather it led to an expanded awareness that finally extinguished the boarders built by ordinary speech patterns. It also included nonconceptual awareness.(con isn't that an american word by the way? conman..contradictory..consciousness..) the inclusion of "the other" was possible due to the extinction of the mental hassle and lag linked to the attributes flawing the patterns of guttural speech.

     

    I see

     

    no way I can only be a slave of my own translations

    • Like 1

  24. Posted · Edited by rain

    here is some basic info from my studies

     

    KEY - sanskrit "translation" - location - frequency - positive and negative aspects of consciousness - ruling planet - drive - spin ** (see bottom of post)

     

    muladhara "root" - perineum - red - survival, grounding, stability, security, trust, fear, aversion - saturn - to be, to have - 8 times counterclockwise, 5 times clockwise

     

    svadhisthana "sweetness of one's own abode" - navel - orange - desire, eros, pleasure, guilt, obsession - jupiter - to feel, to want - 13 times counterclockwise, 8 clockwise

     

    manipura "lustrous jewel" - solar plexus - yellow - willpower, intent, vitality, purpose, shame, anger, poor self-esteem - mars - to act, to do - 21 times counterclockwise, 13 clockwise

     

    anahata "unstruck melody" - heart - green - emotional intelligence, compassion, love, acceptance, grief, sadness, loneliness - venus - to love, to be loved - 34 times counterclockwise, 21 clockwise

     

    visshudha "purification" - throat - blue - communication, listening, creativity, resonance, hypocrisy, dishonesty - mercury - to hear, to be heard - 55 times counterclockwise, 34 clockwise

     

    ajna "perception" - pineal - indigo - perception, intuition, imagination, illusions, delusions, confusion - moon - to witness, to see - 89 times counterclockwise, 55 clockwise

     

    sahasrara "thousandfold" - crown of head - violet - awareness, consciousness, gnosis, wisdom, attachments - sun - to know - 144 times counterclockwise, 89 times clockwise

     

    there seems to be a chakra above the head (233x ccw, 144x cw) associated with the higher self and silvery-pink and one above that, 2 feet above the head associated with the cosmos, the pure white light "shared cosmic chakra" (377x ccw, 233x cw) that is part of us and also part of the cosmic spirit. there seem also to be chakras between the knees (5x ccw, 3x cw) and ankles (3x ccw, 2x cw), in deepening shades of brownish red, associated primarily with balance, and movement. there is one below the feet (2x ccw, 1x cw) associated with rootedness and the instinct body, and one below that, 2 feet below the bottoms of the feet, the brown light "shared planetary chakra" (1x ccw, 1x cw) which we share with the earth and which links us into the gaian intelligence.

     

    **(each chakra is a counter-rotating field of light, that is to say, it spins both counterclockwise and clockwise on the axis of the taiji pole. i include this information because i have found that it helps one "get in touch" with each chakra. it is of egyptian horus priesthood origin. i have also found it very helpful to realize that each chakra spins in phi-ratio harmony with the one above and below it. the speeds of the spins are relative and may differ exactly from person to person, but in theory remain a function of phi ratio fractality.)

     

    well thats the tip of an iceberg, but i hope it helps you all out!

     

    fantastic. the brownlight..shared planetary chakra. the gaian intelligence. I have been lloking for that piece of information. thank you (:

  25. Posted

    "Take home message: Surrender your conscious fears to your subconscious survival "gut" instinct. Because this may serve you well now or in the near future..." I fukin like it :)

     

    second this instinctively.

     

    haha

     

     

     

    goldislourd

    who are you helping with this queery?

    • Like 1