stirling

This might be the case, but it would be a mistaken pursuit. The "wisdom" gained by being enlightened to the nature of reality does not confer any power to a person, but rather illuminates the reality that the "self" is an illusion which has always lacked any real agency or power of its own. There IS no "power" as a "self" to attain.

Manitou/Barbara, I understand from personal experience with others what this disease can be like, and wonder sometimes if it isn't slowly happening to me, though I don't believe I am nearly old enough to truly suffer from it. I helped my ex-wife with her grandfather and his journey with it. He was a remarkable ex-RAF Wing Commander and Spitfire pilot in World War II and he thought I was one of his war-time friends every time I entered the room. My instinct was to play along, adopting the persona and letting him fill in the details he wanted with the clarity of his past memories. He enjoyed it, though I think he sometimes knew something was off. He smiled just the same, like we were sharing a poorly defined joke. Around the same time, the grandmother on the other side of the family had been put in a beautiful manor house and had quite profound senility. A few days before she passed we visited and she told us how we had JUST missed all of her university friends, down for a day in the countryside and a rollicking pub visit. At the time I was sad and doubted her story, but now I see how wonderful the gift of this visit, in whatever guise it manifested, was for her. It can be as real as anything else... As a newbie here I don't much about your practice or level of insight, but there are a few things I have noticed, if I am speaking from my "story". I suspect that intensified meditation over the last 6 or so years after a great insight altered my short-term memory greatly. I am finishing my Soto Zen priesthood, but worked for many years in the Tibetan Dzogchen tradition, meditating in open awareness. It is now quite obvious that time/space/self are all just beliefs in illusory constructs. This understanding has brought the realization that the continued unraveling of these beliefs is altering the appearance of things from a number of perspectives - one of them is, as you suggest, the way memory and events comfortably sit in a "timeline" or with a "self" as protagonist. Things are more dreamlike now, and, in the same way a dream maps poorly to a story-line, sometimes my experiencing can be choppy when related as a narrative. This doesn't worry me in the slightest, which also seems to be how you are feeling, possibly? I would agree with the idea that the awareness you recognize shouldn't change. That is what all of this is, after all. The place I think we might get caught is in not being able to accept this moment as it is, or see it as free of self. The more of the illusion of the future or past we believe in, the more we believe in our illusory agency, the more uncomfortable things could be as memory fades. If the central premise of reality is shifted to a non-dual understanding, I doubt there would be as much struggle with things, however they appear. If I were in your shoes (and without any knowledge about your level of practice or attainment) I would immediately double down on my practice. I would work with open awareness, resting in timeless/selfless/spaceless non-duality, as much as possible. Take it on walks, washing dishes, bathing, talking, eating, even sleeping. Bathe in it, knowing that all things are only that, and work to TRUST it. I would do retreats as long as I could. I would also work with a realized teacher, if possible, who can keep redirecting you tirelessly and lovingly. My best wishes on your journey, and thank you for sharing it.

The full nature things in 2 pages, roughly. You don't really need anything else: The Tsin Tsin Ming by Seng-t'san The Great Way is not difficult, for those who have no preferences. Let go of longing and aversion, and it reveals itself. Make the smallest distinction, however, and you are as far from it as heaven is from earth. If you want to realize the truth, then hold no opinions for or against anything. Like and dislike is the disease of the mind. When the deep meaning (of the Way) is not understood the intrinsic peace of mind is disturbed. As vast as infinite space, it is perfect and lacks nothing. Indeed, it is due to your grasping and repelling That you do not see things as they are. Do not get entangled in things; Do not get lost in emptiness. Be still in the oneness of things and dualism vanishes by itself. When you try to stop motion to achieve quietude, the very effort fills you with activity. As long as you hold on to opposites you will never know the One Way. Those who do not understand the Way will assert or deny the reality of things. Deny the reality of things, you miss its deeper reality; Assert the reality of things, you miss the emptiness of all things. The more you think about it, the further you are from the truth. Cease all thinking, and there is nothing that will not be revealed to you. To return to the root is to find the essence, but to pursue appearances is to miss the Source. The moment you are enlightened, you go beyond appearances and emptiness. Changes that seem to occur in the (empty) world, appear real only because of ignorance. Do not search for the truth; only cease to cherish opinions. Do not hold to dualistic views, avoid such habits carefully. If there is even a trace of right and wrong, the mind is lost in confusion. Although all dualities arise from the One, do not cling even to this One. When the mind exists undisturbed in the Way, everything is without fault. When things can no longer be faulty, it is as if there are no things. When the mind can no longer be disturbed, it is as if there is no mind. When thought-objects vanish, the thinking-subject vanishes. When the mind vanishes, objects vanish. The arising of other gives rise to self; giving rise to self generates other. Know these seeming two facets as one Emptiness. In this Emptiness, the two are indistinguishable and each contains in itself the whole. When no discrimination is made between this and that, how can you prefer one to another? The Great Way is all-embracing, not easy, not difficult. Those who rely on limited views are fearful and irresolute; the faster they hurry, the slower they go. Clinging, they go too far, even an attachment to enlightenment is to go astray. Just let things be in their own way as they are, and there is neither coming nor going. Be in harmony with the Way and you will be free of disturbances. Tied by your thoughts, you lose the truth, become heavy, dull, and unwell. Not well, the mind is troubled. Then why cling to or reject anything? If you wish to move in the One Way, do not dislike even the world of senses and ideas. Indeed, to accept them fully is identical with true Enlightenment. The wise attaches to no goals, but the foolish fetter themselves. There is but one Dharma, not many. Distinctions arise from the clinging needs of the ignorant. Using mind to stir up the mind is the original mistake. Peaceful and troubled derive from thinking; Enlightenment has no likes or dislikes. All dualities come from ignorant inference. They are like unto dreams or flowers in the air, the foolish try to grasp them. Gain and loss, right and wrong, abandon all such thoughts at once. If the eye never sleeps, all dreams will naturally cease. If the mind makes no discriminations, all things are as they are, of One-essence. To understand the mystery of this One-essence is to be released from all entanglements. When all things are seen without differentiation, you return to the origin and remain what you are. Consider the movement in stillness and the stationary in motion, both movement and rest disappear. When such dualities cease to exist even Oneness itself cannot exist. This ultimate state is not bound by rules and descriptions. For the Realized mind, at one with the Way, all doing ceases. Doubts and irresolutions vanish and the Truth is confirmed in you. With a single stroke you are freed from bondage; nothing clings to you and you hold onto nothing. All is void, clear, and self-illuminating, with no need to exert the mind. Here thinking, feeling, knowledge, and imagination are of no value. In this world of “as it really is” there is neither self nor other. To swiftly accord with that, only express nonduality. In this nonduality nothing is separate, nothing is excluded. The enlightened of all times and places have personally realized this truth. The Truth is beyond time and space, one instant is eternity. Not here, not there- but everywhere always right before your eyes. Infinitely large and infinitely small, no difference, for definitions have vanished and no boundaries can be discerned. So too with “existence” and “non-existence.” Don’t waste time in arguments and discussion, attempting to grasp the ungraspable. One thing and everything move among and intermingle without distinction. To live in this Realization is to not worry about perfection or non-perfection. To put your trust in the Way is to live without separation, and in this nonduality you are one with the Way Words! Words! The Way is beyond language, Words never could, can not now, and never will describe the Way. OR, the lovely: Or... have it in one: Heart of Great Perfect Wisdom Sutra (Heart Sutra) - Buddha Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, when deeply practicing prajña paramita, clearly saw that all five aggregates are empty and thus relieved all suffering. Shariputra, form does not differ from emptiness, emptiness does not differ from form. Form itself is emptiness, emptiness itself form. Sensations, perceptions, formations, and consciousness are also like this. Shariputra, all dharmas are marked by emptiness; they neither arise nor cease, are neither defiled nor pure, neither increase nor decrease. Therefore, given emptiness, there is no form, no sensation, no perception, no formation, no consciousness; no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind; no sight, no sound, no smell, no taste, no touch, no object of mind; no realm of sight ... no realm of mind consciousness. There is neither ignorance nor extinction of ignorance... neither old age and death, nor extinction of old age and death; no suffering, no cause, no cessation, no path; no knowledge and no attainment. With nothing to attain, a bodhisattva relies on prajña paramita, and thus the mind is without hindrance. Without hindrance, there is no fear. Far beyond all inverted views, one realizes nirvana. All buddhas of past, present, and future rely on prajña paramita and thereby attain unsurpassed, complete, perfect enlightenment. Therefore, know the prajña paramita as the great miraculous mantra, the great bright mantra, the supreme mantra, the incomparable mantra, which removes all suffering and is true, not false. Therefore we proclaim the prajña paramita mantra, the mantra that says: "Gate Gate Paragate Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha." Any questions?

What insight into the nature of reality did you awaken to, or become enlightened to?

I'd personally recommend the Tibetan Lojong teachings on "7 Point Mind Training". The slogans, practiced diligently, change the way your relate to your thoughts, emotions, mind, and ultimately, reality. This coupled with open awareness meditation, a practice without technique , allows the real nature of mind to be recognized and rested in. Being able to conjure open awareness by letting the mind settle into its nature is the "antidote" to most of our struggle with mind and thoughts. My favorite text and commentary on the original teaching is "The Great Path of Awakening": https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/554415.The_Great_Path_of_Awakening A more recent, and easier read is Norman Fischer's version: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/15792605-training-in-compassion

"There are, strictly speaking, no enlightened people, there is only enlightened activity." - Shunryu Suzuki

This!

Everywhere. Nowhere. Here? I can count on two hands how many I have met that wouldn't go into the group "most people" who suffer or struggle much of their day. It would honestly gladden my heart to think that you are another one of them. The effects can last, but it still doesn't mean that they work out the way you anticipated. Effects that you act to change or stop are always happening NOW. Unless you time travel. I'm completely stuck in the present at this point. Whatever effects from the past you think are playing out are always doing so in the present, yes? You can't be present for a future event to happen, can you? Now is always where things are happening. It can't be otherwise, except in the imagination. You'll never know until now includes that moment. Why the attempt to antagonize? What about what I initially said most presses your buttons? My guess is your belief in your personal agency feels threatened? Truly, thank you for sharing your story. Sure. Of COURSE you must meet people where they are. Accepting the reality of things as they are is a HUGE step, and in my experience people find a lot of healing in it... but that is my experience. I assume you are also her Some are happier with a conversation about their other interests. We could share our interests outside of dharma and the tao, but I'm honestly here to discuss these topics. I assume these topics interest you to some degree or another? Disagree. Culture, people - all action happens without conceptual ideation in reality. None of the ideas you have ever had are true. None of the things you have ever done required your thinking process. You can only prove this to yourself. Perhaps the most powerful insight you can have IF the context of it is properly understood. Magician... so committed to the idea that your agency is real and pliable and your desire or intention effects reality directly? You probably won't like that I would love to eschew either designation, but for the structure of language and intelligibility. Of course we both know I wasn't addressing it to any such person, more to people on this board with a fairly specific set of interests. If you want me to say something specific about your suffering, let me know the nature of it and I'll have a go. Thank you. It has been a pleasure to chat with you also.

A search on this artist led me down an entire rabbit hole of amazing images. Thank you. ( Bow )

The Ancient of Days Setting a Compass to the Earth - William Blake The Flying Carpet - Viktor Vasnetsov

There is a problem with this "self" - it's an illusion. In the context of the Tao, or Buddhism it isn't the "self", or personal spiritual growth we are working to change here, it is a broken perspective about how things truly are and "our" place in it. In Buddhism anyway, the "self", the "subtle body", the channels, and even non-acceptance are relative teachings - the imagined province of an unreal "self". https://www.lionsroar.com/what-are-the-two-truths/

Hello friend! Let's see if we can find some common ground here. I feel like my initial comment answers many of your objections, but I am happy to clarify. In my post I said, "generally", but I might have said "mostly". Most people spend their days and nights suffering over what has already happened, or about what they imagine might happen. In my experience it is hard to be upset about something that is happening this moment because it is only in retrospect that we fill in the blanks about their meaning conceptually. The parable of the second arrow is a fine illustration of this point: https://tricycle.org/magazine/second-arrow/ - I address this where you quoted me as saying: The ability to act or have intent arise is ALWAYS available in this moment... but at no other time. - The time travel metaphor is there to point out that past events cannot be changed... I'm sorry it didn't connect with you, but I doubt the ideas behind it are any real surprise. Obviously events in the past have already happened... your accomplishments have also already happened, as have the moments where you there for someone. Also in the past (and unchangeable) are the moments where you failed to help, did something unintentional, made a mistake, or were intentionally bellicose or unhelpful.. That's just how the past IS... unchangeable. - The results can be changed sure. What bearing does that have on what has ALREADY happened? If you wait long enough EVERY event can be cast in a positive light in some way or another. Does that matter? Only if you are trying to assuage your guilt, I think. Later ramifications don't change the original event in the slightest. Does a nice apology from a murderer change a loved ones death? If you intentionally burned a forest of unique species to the ground destroying them permanently, but later planted a forest that fed 50 people for a few years does that make your initial action OK? What matter is ALWAYS now. There is one place where you can have an intention and act. It's now. There is one place where you REALLY exist. It's now. The moment of action is THIS moment. Always. - I don't honestly think I am at odds, though I am appreciative of any criticism of my ideas that might illuminate such an inconsistency. What is happening NOW minus our ideas about whether or not we like it is reality. Good or bad are conceptual frameworks we create moment to moment that are illusory. Things just ARE. I would imagine this insight is writ large all over this bulletin board. You can't exist anywhere but this moment, therefore you cannot be present in them to change anything. You CAN have an intention in THIS moment and act on it. Even WITH your intention and action, reality happens AS it happens. Your ability to effect change is directly related to the size of your presence in the causes and conditions of things. If we believe science, the universe is quite ancient. The preconditions of the big bang set the initial conditions of the universe before a human was ever even a vague possibility. What is the weight of your ideas and actions about what happens? Infinitesimal. If we are working to understand and appreciate how "self" is illusory, this is a fine place to start. No action we take or intend is the product of our agency - this is an aspect of the deepest understanding of reality. Ultimately, in "no self", the first stable realization of things as they are, it is understood that no-"one" exists apart from phenomena arising and passing to manhandle reality and bend it to "her/his/their" will. There is just "this" happening "now". Sorry for the rambling.

Your reaction is the common, and culturally appropriate one. Of course you don't like it - no-one does... that is the nature of samsara. There is always something about reality that is at odds with our expectations, but I think it is worth asking yourself: "When was the last time you were able to travel in time and change something?" The things we are generally upset about have ALREADY happened and cannot be changed. Accepting this is accepting reality as it is. "What is really happening right in this moment, in a 10 foot, 10 second radius?" Generally this is what you can comfortably, verifiably call "reality". This is also the bubble in which you can take an available action. What are the available actions that might stop suffering in this space? "Are the things I don't want to accept happening here in this 10 X 10 space? Have they already happened? Are they happening somewhere else? Is not accepting them as reality truly LIVING in reality?" Notice that I am not saying that accepting is LIKING, it is simply choosing not to be in clinging or aversion to a fictional version of reality that you hope will come to pass or fear will happen, or a memory of the past you wish things were like, or are afraid will be real again. If something is happening and you are driven to stop it ACT. If you can calm what seems like an impending fight, or right a letter to your congressman, or march with like minded people in this moment, then PLEASE do so. Definitely have compassion for suffering in AND outside of your 10 X 10 circle, and send thought sof loving kindness (or do Buddhist practices like Tonglen or Metta if you are inclined).

Please know that the dharmkaya, the body and emanation of ALL dharma and the outpouring of the entire phenomenal universe, accepts "you" just as you are, and always has, with complete and unconditional love. You are absolutely just as you should be. Further, please know that the universe, as it is in this moment, CANNOT exist without you JUST AS YOU ARE. It is LITERALLY impossible for things to be otherwise. Self-acceptance is a first step, agreed. Karma creates difficult situations for you to deal with, but ALL of them are an opportunity for you to realize where you can surrender to this moment and accept IT as it is, with all of its perceived flaws. Respectfully - much love to you and yours, and the best of luck in finding your sangha. If you have trouble finding one, please feel free to join mine.

One of my teachers, the late Jana Drakka, was most definitely lesbian and very actively a part of that community, but also (quietly) transgender and never had issues in her time at San Francisco Zen center, where she was a monk, and eventually a transmitted teacher. As you would imagine, there are MANY from the LGBTQ community at SFZC, as well as many from most any other measure of diversity you could fathom. At another abbey where I spent much of my time, the Tenso (in charge of meals) was transgender, and would happily tell you that there was never a comment made. My experience with Soto Zen in California is that is has been mostly blind to such things. People are there to become enlightened, not judge others.

Lojong and Chod are deeply powerful practices, but it really is worth meeting someone who knows them can work on them with you. I can deeply recommend Norman Fischer's very relatable "Training in Compassion" for beginners interested in the Lojong part. Tonglen alone, or (in my experience) in concert with Metta practice, are great for developing relative bodhicitta and transforming self-cherishing.

It would be complicated to answer the question as asked. How about: In this moment there is Rigpa. There is no "I" that contains it.

They are repeatable, but are they the SAME every time? Is any moment ever the same as another?

Right? It's is simply a shift in perspective, not the seeing of something that wasn't always there. It doesn't actually even require effort, but instead the ceasing of effort.

Once the river is crossed the dharma isn't needed, and doesn't really even make sense from the perspective of the absolute. It is a relative teaching, ultimately, a raft intended to get the student across the river.

It is unlikely that it will ever appear as an "experience" in the same way, however the underlying quality of emptiness (if there is insight) will show up when the mind is quiet and empty. Experiences are never the same, but the underlying quality is always the same. Phenomena are constantly arising and passing in a constant outpouring, but they are always "empty" of anything that has any intrinsic (belonging to itself) existence. The existence of any thing existing as a separate entity is illusory, but the label-less phenomena arise naturally and constantly, just as the emptiness does.

Have you seen it since? Do you think you would recognize it again if you saw it?

You didn't ask me obviously, but I just want to add that the IDEA of emptiness/ripga/nature of mind is not emptiness/rigpa/nature of mind. Grasping at ANYTHING, including a reified "emptiness" is not it. Once seen and understood, and once "self" is finally seen through, you can't really get lost in anything (void included). So, as you suggest, it is a relative/conventional idea to be careful of falling into the trap of reifying "emptiness" as a concept or influence on behavior. Imagine you weren't aware of temperature as a quality of reality. People would say that they were cold or hot, and you would have no idea what they meant and think they were crazy. Then, one day, the quality of temperature becomes known to you as something that seems to underly all of your experiences. You could now incline your mind toward your sense of temperature and be aware of it at any time it occurs to you. Eventually, perhaps, you could even ALWAYS be present with this quality. Silence (as a "quality of emptiness") is always present. Emptiness/rigpa/nature of mind is always present. There is always this quiet empty stillness, even when walking, or on a busy street corner, or as a thought arises and passes. It is the one pervasive constant of reality. In relative terms the silence is an underlying quality to ALL arising and passing of phenomena. You can taste this stillness in meditation, in the quiet moments in between thoughts. In those moments there is resting in enlightened mind, and how things are seen is not different than enlightened mind, though NOT enlightenment itself, which is insight.

You can believe in both at the same time, however both are just thoughts happening now. Beliefs don't have any reality of their own. Where are either of those ideas in the quiet empty stillness in between thoughts? Skill is the same illusion as volition. Even intention only arises in this moment. Where are skill or perspective in the quiet empty stillness in between thoughts? Who is there to have any of these qualities there? Self is just another idea happening now, when the idea passes, so does self.

As long as we are seeing from the relative view, Karma will always catch and snag us where we have clinging and aversion. The "path" (if such a thing ever existed) is as simple as seeing what the dharmakaya, from which all arising phenomena and their interaction borne situations arise, shows us about WHERE we are snagged and where our concretions of ideas are. What arises is always pointing back to the empty NON-arising quality of things as they truly are. Karma exists and happens until it is experientially understood and the completely pervasive that there is no-one to have or, literally, embody Karma.