rideforever

It is arrogant to imagine that the thoughts god has given you, have no meaning, and to think that you are going to overcome them, or counter them. All that is ignorance.

How I interpret UGK / ACIM assertions is that our identification with the "body" is extremely strong and gives rise to "the world" and other things. If we could arrive in UGK's natural state, then our identification-constructions would not interfere control take ownership of the natural flow of things. So basically, all the problems that we try to "fix" ... there is an underlying problem that we are not in the natural state, and this causes identification-construction-action, which is the true problem. Additionally, I would say that it takes time for the intelligence of the being to be able to grow mature until it suddenly comprehends what is occurring and there is a collapse of the identification-construction-action, and the entry into the natural state. And that is the point of spirituality, to rapidly accelerate the growth of the spiritual intelligence. In the natural state the body flourishes without the interruptions, and the being is at peace and does not seek the kind of "understanding" that human societies constantly assert which is actually a form of identification-assertion-control.

Just listening to UG Krishnamurti talking. He was saying that in order to "experience" the "body" what we do is think about various concepts we have of the body coming from psychology and medicine and whatever. And so when we "experience the body" what we really are doing is thinking about these concepts. We don't really "experience the body", there is no body. It seems to be a learning tool that we identify with. We have the concept of "pain". Is there really "pain" or is it a concept that we think ? Also it says in ACIM that there is no body.

I had two such experiences. One was on day 3 of a 10 vipassana retreat at the IMC in the UK (it is not Goenka style thank god), and it's mostly Shamatha based breathing at the nostrils .... anyway, massive energy shock, huge trumpets of energy going into my nostrils like a dragon, mind full of golden flower essence or something, and then breathing stopped and sad in perfect peace. Another was on an "enlightenment intensive", 3.5 days of 11hrs/day dyad work "tell me who you are". It was another massive energy shock shared with the girl opposite, body shacking uncontrollably, then a big orange light as Buddha appeared to me, then a white light Mary Magdalane, then the girl opposite has Jesus appear. After that one I realised the universe is a mechanistic clock. And I had two voices in my head and kept "waking up" (shifting consciousness) every 20-30secs. It was quite worrying ... but eventually calmed down, until I returned to being "really normal" as I am. Anyway ... as usual I prepared hard doing about 4-5 hrs sitting before arriving at the retreat. What does it all mean ? I don't know. Possibly some patron is helping you, or your higher self, or some work from a previous life is returning, but clearly it's not integrated into your current life. Anyway best to have a good sitting practice and do the work progressively. I would stay away from the occult / esoteric / magick stuff ... you are beyond that, what you experienced is not occult ... it is spiritual, meaning of the path of truth.

And are you still coding, and being like that ???

Hmm ... I am wondering about doing some computer work again. I made a very good salary coding casino game front ends, often in Flash ... but now Flash is dead. Should I go back to coding or am I beyond it ? I am a little tired of the climate of young excited internetty people that I used to work with, it was exhausting maintaining contact with all the fashions and whatever. Perhaps I missed my calling as a programmer of less flamboyant things, in a lower level language. I wonder what that would be like. I am a very gifted programmer ... could I go back ? And what to ? What opportunities are there ? I even thought of learning COBOL to get myself a niche market. Or QT/C++ to migrate front end work to something more serious. Hmm ... I don't know how much of the world I need to live in. I used to think about coding all evening and weekends, and have no life, it really took over my mind. Hmm ???

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It is the THE only identity part that we individually are. We are not "the whole". In fact there is no such thing as "the whole" because "the whole" functions through its parts each of which is unique. And a Buddha is immortal as its individual part. Practically speaking, engaging in opening and surrendering to "the whole", must go hand in hand with becoming "this one". This one and that one, together. Like a mason working on both faces of a wall.

Story and identity are an attempt by nature to trigger your evolution. Where you stop drifting in the sea like a bum or a baby, and you actually start to take responsibility for something. You are given a small identity ... can you look after that ? That's what existence is asking you ... here is a small part of me, what will do with it ? Are you ready to stop being carried around, because it's time for you to participate. And it's a big step. Suddenly rather than sucking on the breast, you have to take ownership of yourself, learn about yourself, investigate life and come up with something. Oh it's so confusing. Most people they do a little investigation - read the internet - and then afterwards they just "agree with everyone else". Ha. That's as far as they have got. It's too tiring, can't we go back to being in the ocean again and drifting like a bum. Sure, no problem. Somebody else will do your work for you.

Was in Bible study class yesterday doing Acts C13&14. My god is this dull. I spent most of the time doing outer dissolving on my K1 on the sole of my feet. Was pretty good actually !!! Does anyone actually listen to this stuff ? Jesus is not questionable, if you listen to him there is great wisdom. But as for all his followers who are making it up as they go along, always threatening. For instance Paul feels free to go and disturb all these synagogues and tell them they should be Christians. Why ? Isn't Moses enough ? If they have a settled well organised community, who are you to disturb them ? Jesus may be a great teacher, but so was Moses and the Jews always lived cleanly and with a high aim. Then, those people who worship "gods" ... are accused of idolatry. Why ? Perhaps when they worship Thunder or Poseidon, perhaps they have a clear channel of light, and just use that name. What's wrong with that? Jesus's consciousness is true and of a high origin, but going around telling everyone they are wrong is ... not very good. Then if you perform miracles or bring money to people then they will become your disciples. Why ? I am not sure, healing is good .... but at the same time it is a bit cheap isn't it. I question the entire thing. What are we slaves to some "highest power" ? To the best doctor, or the strongest man or the richest man. Please let the truth be of a mucher higher quality than these games. There are teachers that are beyond this showmanship .... whatever value it has had in the past. Buddhism is not better. The fact is ... who actually understand Jesus ? Who actually bothered to read his words ? Few. Same with Buddha and everyone. Mostly what you hear are the foolish students talking, in every tradition. Practice instructions, that's what you want. When you ask people for them, 99% of people will disappear. Of those that remain 1 in 100 is trustworthy.

Wow rideforever, you're so deep. ... yeah, I know, .... I also cook ... tgif !

But it is deep and thoughtful. Why would a Taoist not want things ? Why did Laozi leave the city ? Because he wanted things. Why did he write the TaoTeChing ? Because he wanted things. But the things he wanted were of the real world, of what is true. Rather than the material delusion most of humans live in ... which can be so difficult that Laozi decided to leave. Many people ride on the bus and go with the flow ... are they Taoist ? Perhaps they are just unconscious, totally asleep inside their head. How can someone asleep be anything? No, if you can write the TaoTeChing you are very alive, the flame of life is roaring within you. The toll of the true life is roaring within you. At first it is small, it is a small true thing, a grain of sand that is true within you. For some, such a small grain of sand feels so real so needed that the entire world barely exists next to it. And that very small thing is pursued.

The book sounds like a Christina do-gooder discusses philosophy of TCM. And as such is useless. The ego is a false structure, but if it is transformed then what is left is your true human self. You don't suddenly disappear from the Earth. And even "great masters" still have sex and thoughts and whatnot. You also don't become the universe, if that was the case wouldn't Buddha have fixed everything? Therefore he was not the almighty, he was simply a sane non-false human that had returned to reality. As for hearting things. This normally comes from people who don't have any experience of progress. So they imagine that spiritual progress has something to do with being on your knees flailing your back, and hunting around the earth for poor brown people you can save. Which btw was not what Jesus was suggesting. The most useful books are practice manuals by people who know how to practice, because through their own practice they have attained. And other poetic books are inspirational. But in the end you have to do some practice. So, an encyclopaedic book like this comes from someone who has not practiced but has compiled copious notes that he has not actually experienced. Practice manuals can be quite short. I would suggest to you that you do not want, and you would not benefit from, a "thorough grounding" in "theory". What you actually learn from is practice. 5 mins theory then 5 hrs practice. Otherwise it is just mental masturbation, like looking at pictures of mountains, rather than ... going up on a mountain. Anyway, aside from all that, Spontaneous Five Animal Frolics requires very little theory, you just do it ... and then the body does all the healing. Then you get well. Then there breathing at the dantien, surrendering into the flow. Again 60seconds instruction required. Then Zhan Zhuang, yes some details need explaining several times. Do you need any more information other than this ? I don't think so. And if you wish to read, maybe the poetry and crazy wisdom of ChuangTzu is more nourishing than reading an encylpoedia. If you read Hua Tuo's encyclpaedia then maybe. Another one of Jarrett's book receiving the outstanding academic title award from some magazine. These awards are a fun game for a certain kind of people. But anyway if you need the path ... it's a different kind of life. Who is Lonny Jarrett ... seems to have many academic and institutional medicine connections. Is this Daoism or just Westernism branched out. The heart : your intelligence will consciousness identity love are the cause of your existence. Anyway what do I know, I am probably just an idiot.

Doesn't really matter whether anything is authentic or not authentic or if Jesus lived. There are extremely few people on the planet who are authentic enough to be interested. All they are interested in arguing and being right ... about something ... i.e. defending some self-image.

Gravity : you drop a brick and it falls down. But why ? There are no tethers, no particles. What about if you drop a brick in the middle of a circle of people who all wish it to go up - what happens then ? Anyone try ? We have some equations that calculate the rate of falling down .... so that knowledge seems fine. We can sort of measure how things change. But not why ? What about light ? How does it get from there to here ? How does it travel through the nothing of space ? How does it stay light and not go out. If I light a candle and travel from the "sun" to the "earth", the candle will have run out. So why does light not run out ? It must be special, specially connected to the power source of the whole universe. Like the feed into this universe, wow. There are a lot of things people never think about. What about men and women. The penis goes into the vagina, like a puzzle. And it feels good and is "creative". Are these then all the rules we should follow, doing things where the pieces fit, feels good and is creative ? Like we are in a big puzzle where the rules are lost. When we eat the materials of the earth then the earth bodies grow and grow like a balloon filled up, then once fully inflated they get old decay and one day pop. What's that all about ? There are a lot of strange things going on.

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Thanks, where could I easily find the teachings on sung and energy practice you described earlier ?

Can you specify what training you undertook ?

Why don't you take you apply for anew job ? You can send your gf to therapy twice a week, or on a retreat. I think it's good to be practical even if you are in a bit of trouble. Letting your career die is certainly not something you owe anyone, I can't see it helping anyone. Somebody has to get real whilst there is still food in the fridge. And, if someone is going down, you have to place your feet firmly on dry ground, only then can you pull people out of the water. Also with regards going to the woods, it is good to just try something, for instance find an intentional community of hippies, there is a map at ic.org, and go for a couple of days. Or wooofing, or solitary cabin rental. Such little experiments will unstick things, and clarify what you want and can do.

Okay I have just been practising, as follows. First I am deeply meditative and have scanned and embodied the physical body. Next, I gently return to a painful memory, standing in front of my parents ... what am I feeling. Just gently, not too much ... and the feeling comes, I am familiar with it ... but I "take an interest" in it. I don't want to remember it the way I always remembered it. I am interested in it, for the first time, what is it actually ? Some emotions are difficult to describe, crawling, scrapping, racking, difficult to describe. Nevertheless they are there. They are, what they are. Then I gently feel the energy of it (qi), the vibrational pattern. I rest, and I let it arise and take interest in it. I allow it. Often it is faint, and on a small part of the body, (like the shoulder) ... so I try to gently bring it open, gently stretching it over larger area of the body, either by directly pulling the energy, or simply by scanning a neighbouring area to activate it. Opening the energy, and going in to it, resting inside it. Now it is more open. Then I merge within it, I become one with it, and gently merge into it, dissolving into it, so that I am it, and it is me, through the whole body, slowly slowly I rest as it. It can resist, it can flow, it can resolve, many things. But I am one with it, as it. And the rain falls, and the ground is wet. Throughout there may be many words (thoughts) and memories associated with these things, but I release them.

As for your girlfriend she needs help of some sort. Is she doing any work on herself ? If not, the prognosis is not good, you gotta get real, better early than later. Trying to save someone is just ... not good, every therapist book warns about this pattern of trying to save someone, it's very unhealthy. Try to save her for 2 weeks, if it doesn't work ... accept you need external help.

sorry was in bad mood