Shad282

I love people like you who like talking and all my friends have been talkative .

I m talkative and like to know more info and people's experience and their stuff

Sorry I wasn't knocking you. If it seemed so I do apologise. I just wrote that because I felt like an oddball for my way of functioning. I can understand what you are saying though ☺ in my case if there is anything left in one of us from the day the other person asks what is wrong of course we verbalise if it does linger. But mostly we are just inclined to leave it behind us and be in a happy and safe space.

 

In fact you may very well be the healthier one of us two. I got burnt a lot from expressing myself and it just may be a subconscious block, but right now it feels comfortable.

no no no don't worry!  i was just adding my opinion, my perspective and nothing more hehe

<3 

Is there anyone else here who gave up the need to confide or didn't have it much to start with? At one point I thought I needed to share my whole life story with my partner one day but with my husband I haven't done that and it is still wonderful. I don't even need to tell him if I have had a bad day and neither does he by the way. Sometimes it just comes up as a piece of information related to something else. Talking has become a need-to-know thing for me. This thing of needing to be understood is overated in my opinion. Anyone share this view? Even talking about stressful things that have no bearing on what will happen is not happening. Of course there are necessary chats about things that need addressing but no "venting" as such. Maybe I am just lucky to have someone that feels me on a deeper level than conversation...We seek each other for comfort and like spending time together just to feel each other. Is this common or am I a freak ☺? In this context the needing of a specific type of spiritual or other type of person becomes irrelevant, it is just a matter of having the right energy in the home.

well my personality is not like that.. it is not about venting or anything similar. but i do like to share my life experience and situation with the one that i m sharing my home, my love, my life with. because we can't deny the fact that we influence each others. Even tho. you don't share (your vent) with vocal conversation, you are sharing on energy level. 

That is why it is better to share on all levels just in case there is a problem, it can be fixed by seeing it from a different angle (perspective) making  the overall energy is more harmonious and comfortable/healing.

I was wondering lately about when to use healing through energy and when to go and take meds and such.

Many views on healing claiming that everything from sickness and different kind of symptoms is related to energy stagnation happening due to a karmic or psychological/past issue. and that can be healed through working with energy and healing those stagnations and such. and not healing the wounds on energetic levels means that they will appear in another way in form of sickness or other materialization in the physical reality.

Other views sees limitations to the healings in terms that stuff can be healed and other can't, and it is left to the medicine.

Also, i m asking this question because lately i was having this throat/adam's apple uncomfortable sensation of like there is a stagnation with a little pain sometimes and some hardness in swallowing in my throat/adam's apple. and these sensation increase if i focus (during meditation/vipassana) and when an emotional / drama scene appear on tv or in real life.

sometimes when i scan the body and find a pain or an energy sensation on a body part, with a lot of focus of allowing, letting go, accepting it as it is, the pain disappears... but this one is growing and links up sometimes to ear and eyes. 

So currently not sure if it is root is malfunctioning of an organ maybe the thyroid or other physical thing, or an energetical problem, or an energy issue (related to something of past/psycho) causing the malfunctioning of an organ or something ?

and i don't want to treat it through med without solving the actual issue if accepting the view that all is energy related.

So how to know whether it can be solved through energy or medicine (taking meds)?

Thanks.

I think there is nothing wrong with following thoughts or fantasies when accompanied by awareness.

 

Getting lost or distracted by these acts is the result of losing awareness. It is not caused by the arising of thoughts or fantasies per se. 

 

We can lose attention, concentration and awareness, which creates some notion that we are no longer present, but that is just a notion, nothing more. The fact is we are always present even when we are not - it is not something for us to lose because we don't actually own anything, least of all this state called 'presence'. Sounds silly, but that about sums it up. 

A thought you haven't created and was just created by the subconscious due to a bad habit of continuous thoughts stream is a way of the mind to take you out of the present moment, out of the awareness of this moment to escape to a story of past or future or a fantasy that is able to drag you more out of this moment and the state of no thought and stillness.

Is it not happening in the now? Where else could these experiences arise?

The mind. imagination, visualize. you never know what the mind is capable of.

The now is not a time thing... it is about presence, awareness of what is, what is in where you are and nothing more or less. without leaving what is to follow thoughts and imaginations. 

Shad282, I am interested to know from somebody who has completed the vipassana course, was there any recommendation made about using vipassana vs anapana? How or when to use one over the other, or should they be done together in the same meditation session, or one morning and one night, or one depending on how you are feeling? What was taught in the course about the difference in these two different types of meditation?

 

Anapana is a form of samatha meditation right?

 

The good thing about vipassana is that it is a reputable meditation style, just as with healing tao. They have both been around for a long time, vipassana i feel would be even more reputable and solid than healing tao, and there is alot of help around for either system, with lots of people having trialed and errored different aspects of each system. I've read some good essays regarding anapana and samatha and it has verified what i was feeling was right. Thats the best thing about learning different systems, I can learn answers to questions not available in my original system, because i might understand the basics of another system and that system answers my question.

I have sent you detailed explanation of the whole practice and the instruction given and everything i could remember about the technique, if you have any question, please don't hesitate to ask!

Yes well i think healing tao for me sort of converted into a type of vipassana on it's own. Like i didn't go through purposefully and feel every inch but during my daily life i'm always aware of my whole body and now i've been practicing for a long time i know what most of these sensations are (or energy as i would call it in HT)... although every now and then a new one will come along, usually when i'm traveling or experiencing different things. Energy can be physical or nerve feelings so i guess it's under the same umbrella as sensations as you describe. I think HT inner smile is the foundation of this, but if focuses on organs, glands, spine, etc. I have extended it to the rest of my body, and especially joints are of interest.

 

I also did 30second meditation which i guess is a bit like vipassana while in movement.  (http://www.meditationguru.in/30SecMeditation.pdf)

 

At one time i was doing it all day long. I also started watching outside the body and realizing patterns in my environment which i felt increased my wisdom, however one needs to be careful of this type of thing or i tend to feel a bit powerful thinking i know everything when obviously i'm still a human. Another problem is the constant analyzing causes imbalances and spleen weakness. But changing from 'watching' to 'feeling' mode changes this as it's more rooted in my body, more 'earthly' from a TCM perspective and helps the spleen and quietens the mind. I still like the watching my breath thing, anapana though it really calms me down, something that i haven't got from anything else.

 

I've been meditating daily for over 10 years but it amazes me the realizations i get about the most basic of principles, and how i was doing them, and new ways of doing them which improves my practice. How my perception about how the FEELING of love has changed over time.

 

 

 

I have pretty much done all the techniques. Now i do macrocosmic orbit, just like microcosmic but including arm/leg channels too, plus belt channels, bridge & regulator, and thrusting too. But they are seperate as teachings but really it kinda all blurs into one simple practice. All the channels balance the body into the anapana type feeling which is what i most need. I also do Iron shirt 1, sometimes 2, and rarely 3.

 

Before i used to be drawn to cosmic fusion and kan & li, the higher level energy meditative practices, i was a power freak, wanting more and more but sorta got over that now, it mucks around with my sleep too much.

 

Doing vipassana type meditation as you explain it before i sleep makes it hard for me to sleep too. Anapana style helps with sleep and life in general for me. However too much and life becomes slow and boring without excitement. It's just a balancing act between the two, and my most recent attempts are to excite in the morning and relax in the afternoon, one of the most basic things i read in the beginning. But hey, i guess it's a bit like people who go to the therapist for help, only do the therapists suggestions that they believe will be best and ignore the others, then complain it doesn't work properly

 

Differences become less and less the more you practice i think. It all just becomes the same, but with a focus on a different aspect. But these aspects become the same thing the closer one gets to balance. I've been in and out of balance more times than i could count. To me now it's more about revolving around the balance point, balance through constant change.

 

Best to learn one practice well, then try another opposing practice that compliments your original practice. Then you can understand from both ends. Then you can learn about further practices and quickly get overall understandings about them. Take bits and pieces from all practices that work for you, to get you to where you want to be, whether that be balance or imbalance. It's all just about playing and having fun, seriousness and trying to take something from the practice defeats the purpose and rarely works, and usually just makes one look silly.

hmmm, since you have knowledge in HT and vipassana.. i was having some kinda of pain and uncomfortable sensation in the throat at the adam's apple and it kinda arises and become strong when i focus on it during vipassana and give it awareness of allowing and accepting it as it is and such... and sometimes it grows.. not sure if it is some sensitivity arising to some food or energy stagnation.

Do you have any way on how to look into it?

Seeking experiences such as you've described can be done either as an escape, or as a healthy way to explore truth.

 

You see, it depends on WHY you're doing it.

 

I believe that every choice we make is either born of love, or fear.

 

To do what you're saying could be either.

 

Do you see my point? It's a matter of your REASON for making that choice.

Yes of course, The reason, the real intention behind it, but how far can it be the path for the truth ?

You can have the healthy intention, a good reason, but that won't justify the rightness of the path to seek the truth.

the mind is the most advanced tech/tool/organ that exists on this planet and we have seen only a little from how far it can elude us from the reality.

Hey,

I was lately investigating the existence of other dimensions and such and how much true they are.

I have never experienced any dimensional or anything similar, just the now and being mindful of the now.

and I find that traveling through dimension and such, seems to contradict with being in the now, mindful and aware of the reality as it is.

The state of awareness and mindfulness means that the mind is still and with no thoughts, no visualization and no imagination and just with the reality as it is and what exist in the now.

on the other hand, the buddha, who is the teacher of mindfulness and concentration of the mind, went through different dimensions and saw his past lives and such, but how far are these stuff real?

Couldn't it just be the mind trying to induce thoughts but this time on another level of mind, that are too real to make you dwell and forget about being mindful and focused in the now?

Seems like an escapism tool that the mind is using but this time based on your beliefs, images, and holographic representation. 

if not, then what is the link between between mindfulness, awareness and such with dimensions, astral, light work? maybe the dimensions are just sub-nows of the now?

Thanks 

ah, I better understand what you mean now.

 

I should've just started out with sharing my mom's wisdom because she says great things sometimes (one of my friends says she channels wise spirits and I could see that):

 

"You need someone who both always loves you and accepts you as you are and also challenges you to grow at the same time. Someone who you're always interested in learning more about, and can keep exploring their depth.

 

Most of all, respect is needed."

-Paraphrased

 

I did appreciate the paradox of someone always accepting you and yet still wanting you to grow and seeing your potential as well. Takes a very evolved world view to do both I think. They don't have to do be into the same sort of things but meditating with your partner is definitely a wow experience! (so hopefuly they'd be willing to try it out!)

yeah, you are right but seems kinda hard to find.

I understand the attraction and can see how you justify hers as a grounding presence to balance the "floaty spiritual" nonsense that comes about.

 

I have to disagree with the word "empirical." I have been trying for many years to explain things in a rational way, and that is the best I came come up with. A sort of Rational, Alan Watts Philosophy style way of explaining spirituality. Even then, you sort of can only point in the direction of it. Also subjective experiences of a spiritual plane are beautifully and it simply is not a good feeling when your significant other who you are most vulnerable with laughs at that and refers to (for example) spirit animals as your imaginary friends. Yes they may very well be (the grounding part) but its very real to you!

 

Empirical is lagging very far behind spirituality. They are arriving just now at quantumn "theories" of the universe that have been experienced by ancients for thousands of years. Maybe I am speaking from ignorance here (I don't try to come up with scientific ways to explain myself anymore. One either knows or doesn't, if one knows then laugh, if one doesn't then silence is kept). But the latest empirical evidence is the higgs bolson wherein they can look at the data one of two ways, either the universe is on the verge of chaos and about to dissolve, or in perfect order and harmony?

 

How can you empirically prove something, when by definition empirical science tries to observe nature as if we were something separate than it!

If you can't find some kind of empirical way to discuss your spiritual beliefs, it means you are superstitious.

 

My girlfriend hates meditation,

her grandfather was a Daoist and tried to make her meditate as a child, but she would only fall asleep.

She likes normal things like art, culture, food, and money.  It is very grounding for me to be with such a person, since it forces me to attend to the realities of life and anchors me so I don't fly away into the clouds under the false belief that I've achieved something profound.  

 

In short,

the food has to make it to the table before you can eat, so be practical.

I m not saying that it is better to find a copy of myself in order to get along. All i m talking about is the way of seeing life... your partner can have any hobby, interests from art to whatever faculty that make that person reach a healthy state of mind.

In other words, it is nice to have someone supportive, encouraging, and able to understand your mind and ready to ride the flow with you... the person doesn't have to do meditation or experience energy and spirituality the same you do.. but he can be supportive and love you for the things you believe in and motivate you to grow.

Rather than someone who keeps doubting your believes and make you doubt them and ridicule them and argue with you  or just give a "careless" attitude toward them.

I guess the answer is the "middle way" between non-spiritual and spiritual partner.

Well done in opening up your heart, most people seem to go the opposite way over time. But in your situation it could be that because you were shut down for a long time now being very open and facing a lot of feelings is a natural part of the process which will even out naturally over time.

 

But if it continues to be an issue one antidote I have heard Adyashanti describe is that energetically you may be open in front of yourself especially in the upper heart areas, but energetically you aren't as open behind and below, so what is happening is all this stuff is entering into you but instead of passing through you and moving out it is getting stuck. So working through lower chakra issues and opening up down there will allow issues of the world to enter, be acknowledged and then released without a trace.

I guess you are right.. but the way i focus and heal is using vipassana... through sensations i feel on parts of my body... a lot like pain on my chest and also a big one on throat... still not feeling the lower ones like sacral or root enough to judge..

but i will try 

Hi Shad282,

 

I don´t have any solutions to offer you, just a perspective.  My take on your opening post is that you are in the middle of a process of healing and growth and doing just fine.  It might seem that "emotional coldness" and "empathy" are opposites but that´s not actually the case.  Emotional coldness is often a strategy that very empathic people use when they lack the maturity and strength to deal with their sensitivity.  Now that you´re older and stronger you do have the maturity and strength to begin to tolerate the empathic sensitivity that was part of you all along.  For this reason, your initial protective coldness has naturally started to fall away.

 

In time I think you will learn how to be open to the suffering of the world without being overwhelmed by it.  It´s a lifetime practice.

 

My two cents in case it makes any sense to you.

 

LIminal

thank you very enlightening and you are right.

You don't walk around with a condom on all day long, just when your having sex. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you made me laugh soo much !

In an ecology class i took back in college we talked about pollution.

 

A common pollutant situation is when oil spills occur in the ocean. Oil in itself is not bad nor is the ocean....but it is "out of place" and thus it creates disharmony in the ecosystem. In Miami where i live Python's (a non native species) were brought here via the black market pet owners and were let loose in the everglades when they grew to big to take care of.

 

Now the whole everglades is infested with Pythons, they have no natural predators and are eating every other species in the ecosystem. Are Pythons bad? No, but they are out of place and thus are causing great destruction in the environment.  

 

This is a useful analogy for energetics. You want the ecosystem of your body functioning at optimal levels and certain energies (electrical fields, powerful negative emotions, stagnant chi....etc) cause your body to be thrown of balance. There is no need for moral judgment...as evidenced by the Python and Oil analogy. Just put things where they belong.....and shitty energy does not belong in your body. Hope this is helpful. 

wise use of comparison and metaphor, I loved it! very wise!

but how to solve these issues?... would shielding every animal and the ecosystem from python in miami would be the answer? because that would keep the pythons to increase and won't solve the issue but make it worse.

or maybe metaphorically speaking,  shielding the ocean so the oil don't get into it ? that won't stop the pollutants from being thrown into the ocean and won't solve the problem and people will be careless since the ocean is shielded and attract more pollutants. If you get what i mean. (seems like i m not that good in metaphors haha)

maybe the solution is in "understanding" the situation. and similar to the chi and your own ecosystem... building shields against different attacks coming from different sources doesn't seem to be helping, and also can be see as building a thought of a shield against other thoughts that come from outside.

Rather than holding a shield for the whole of your life, maybe allowing them or facing them would help more? 

I m just questioning and thinking... hehehe

Since you mention vipassana, I'll address your question in those terms.

I think it is important to develop a stable and skillful practice of shamatha prior to practicing vipassana for just this reason.

Shamatha cultivates wisdom (the direct knowing of the empty nature of self).

This direct experience of the empty nature protects against the pain you describe.

If you are overly sensitive to the pain in yourself and others, it is because the insight of emptiness has not yet adequately developed. 

Vipassana cultivates the clarity, the awareness if you will, and this naturally leads to deeper sensitivity. 

The masters do things in a certain order for good reasons.

According to my retreat, by S.N. Goenka, we practice anapana before vipassana, and i always do it, it helps in mindfulness and emptying the mind from thoughts. but feeling the pain/sensations on the body is normal and part of the process in Vipassana to improve equanimity against aversion or craving.

so, I guess your suggestion is to do anapana in situation when empathy arises to empty the mind of thoughts and so emotionally i remain stable... 

Thanks.

There is a good amount of toxic energy running around our society. It helps no one by you picking it up and putting it in your system, if your energy body is open this tends to happen. Not all energies and consciousnesses are friendly and nice. Protect yourself, it just makes sense. 

hmmmm... I m still looking into this.. if toxic/bad energy exist.. i guess it is all just chi energy flowing and it is as is .. not bad or good. it is just judging it based on our feelings or mind and how we perceive the result good or bad.. 

Shielding and daily practice.

isn't shielding, would mean that you are against or resisting something and so you shield yourself from it? 

there are a lot of perspectives concerning the shielding. some people say that by shielding you are acknowledging the existence of the thing as threatening, wrong/bad, creating a resistance/aversion and thus you attract it and give it attention, chi, to exist into your reality. and they say that it is better to allow it and try to be vulnerable and not resist it and so your reaction to it will decrease and so it will cease to affect you. 

but, maybe it depends on the intention behind the shield?

hey! 

my story short, is that when i was young up to my teenage years, i used to be cold emotionally, having shield around myself and heart in order not to get hurt by others. and with time i became careless about what others would say and wouldn't affect me (At least what i noticed). which lead other to see me as a cold person and distant and such.

about 2 years from now, i started learning how to feel my emotions back and be sensitive to feel them since i was kinda numb of them, and started working on my heart chakra because i used to feel a heavy block of energy around my chest etc.. 

Now after practicing vipassana, i could feel strings or dots of pain around my heart and on my chest and i watch them and they get healed and go away and later on others appear... and working on it.

The thing is i m becoming a lot sensitive. sensitive to criticism to other or me, when someone act mean to others or when i see a poor kid on streets begging or seeing emotionally broken person on tv or movie...

when such things happen usually my throat start feeling uncomfortable, tight and more sensations of pain appear on chest  when i scan the body.

Yesterday, i saw, a poor kid on the street crying and alone in the dark... it made me feel sooo bad and made me think about humanity and the pain and suffering all around the world.

from being cold and emotionless to becoming an empath and being overwhelmed by the environment, how to find the middle way (balance)?

Thank you! <3

Relationships push people to grow, spiritually and otherwise -- that´s just the nature of the beast.  This is true whether the partner you pick is "spiritual" or not.  Either way, if you opt for a relationship you´re gonna get pushed into growing.  

 

Of course, not being in a relationship is an equally valid path and many people prefer it.  

 

Deciding to be in a relationship is like signing up for an advanced placement intensive course, even though you haven´t really completed the prerequisites, because the teacher is hot.  Best case scenario, you learn a lot but it´s gonna be a bumpy ride.

hahahaha i loved your comparison ! and it is true!

I promise I'm not trying to be semantic, but I'm not even sure what the binary of spiritual vs. non-spiritual means. Is a spiritual relationship one where you both talk about spiritual stuff all the time, or do activities together that you'd categorize as spiritual?

 

I guess my problem is that I'm at the point now that I don't even know what "spiritual" means. It's all one reality, in relation. Whatever is, is.

 

I can sit with most people and accept them as they are. The ones that I still have difficulty with are pointing me toward the work that remains. Is that spiritual?

 

When I was younger I tried to have "spiritual" friendships and partners, but in hindsight they were disastrous due to how contrived they were.

by Spiritual, i mean a way of seeing life, the perspective through which you see life. My question is not related to being spiritual, but in whether having same perspective of life vs different perspective of life in a relationship and which is better.

My case, My perspective is spirituality, in terms of looking at life through emotions, mindfulness and awareness of the present moment. Trying to find joy in everything and learning from life. 

When a subject about life arises and I speak about how i see life through a mind state of mindfulness and joy and the values i hold from being kind to people, forgiving and allowing the moment and such, a lot of times such perspective and these values are ridiculed and seen as weak or just mumbo jumbo religious values that are just nonsense. 

I don't mind if the person was a friend or a family member, i wouldn't take it personally.. but when it comes to someone i m going to share my life with, a partner, it is not easy to overcome such disagreement since it is going to arise many times since it is a perspective of how you see life.

Assuming that you're missing something is often the first step of the journey, but chasing for it outside yourself is just a worthless effort, in my opinion.

 

The common men engage in relationships to get something that is missing in their lives, but the sages of the past relied on relationship to increase what they already got by themselves.

 

Once a Christian monk said "If only the laymen knew the delicious happiness and supreme joy that God bestows on his monks, humanity would come to an end"

it is not about looking for happiness or joy from a relationship... it is more of sharing an experience of happiness and joy, someone that would join you in your journey, a companion.

plus, the law of oneness, we are all one so what is outside yourself is yourself too and as inside so outside, your outer world affect your inner and vice versa. so neglecting the outer world and just focusing inside is not the best idea.

Also, the love or joy received from "god" (even tho there is no god according to my beliefs) is a lot different from that received from a human being. they exist on different levels and through different means.

Plus i m not sure that we came into this earth, this body, dimension in order to reject what is here and see to go back as spirits, energy being... 

What is the book that lead to a change into your perspective of life and taught you lessons or practices that helped you in your journey?

For me, it was: The power of now and practicing the power of now by Eckhart tolle. 

It taught me about mindfulness and the present moment and how to be aware in my life.

Thank you everyone for your answers and help.

I guess it is better to find someone who has similar or close perspective of life like i do, which will allow to make our life smoother and with more understanding to one another. Also, i think it would be good for later on when we build a family.

Just wanted to point out that I'm not making spirituality as a religion or anything, just a perspective of life and experiences.

I've tried to fit in with a lot of people.. everything is ok, but when things go deep or a situation arises and you want to explain your perspective, I end up in explaining my perspective and my experience in meditation and practices and such. so no run from it, especially if you are looking to spend your life with that person.

hey ! hope you are having a nice day!

As me being spiritual and believing in energy chi, meditating, and all the package that come with it, about life perspective and such, kinda causing me troubles in dating and finding a life partner.

The thing is where i live, it is less likely to find spiritual people that have such beliefs as me.

Many times while chatting or having a conversation with someone... once i open up about my beliefs and practices, that person either freaks out or start arguing and such about it and trying to prove things scientifically.

It is happening a lot, even tho. we had a good conversation and interests in each others, when this subject arises, kinda makes the connection and interest decrease.

and to be honest, i don't think i can be with someone who is going to fill me with doubts about my beliefs and experience with energy or with someone that makes me feel weird about what i do or at least not understand what i have interest in.

I m not sure if i m asking a lot, or i maybe i should limit my search to people who are spiritual only

you ever had this issue ? if you have a partner, is he/she spiritual too? 

brother from a buddhist tantric POV you visualize all the time, and until you reach the bodhisattva grounds you are helpless, that means even if you do not want to visualize something you still do...

 

you think there is a body, thats just your imagination

 

you think there is energy, thats just your imagination also, everything we ever experience is our visualisation - till we truly get out of the box that is - till we see suchness directly

 

so the tantric teachings use that fact and just turn it towards a more accurate mental image of reality - that everything is divine

 

it is still a mental image as long as suchness is not realiyed

 

also here divine means Union of emptiness and appearance - that is what is ment by Yidam or meditational deity

 

its not a god out there but oyur own perception is actually divine perception if purified like william blake said in one of his poems (I think in his songs of innocence no?.. any blake fans?)

 

when the doors of perception are purified all appears as it is - infinite

 

 

 

btw tantric buddhism is much more deep and vast then what I said in this post, I just tried to make a point about visualisation

 

I wish you a smooth awakening brother, with some knightly adventures

hey,

So you are saying that nothing exist, it is all made up by the mind, even the energy that we feel on the body (during vipassana)?

thank you

In the last week, things were going wrong or at least not going in the way that the people desire.

Stuff happening to me and to others i know, in a weird way.

I usually see the relationship of cause and effect among things and can notice what my mind or the other person's mind was thinking or focusing on, that lead to an event to happen.

but seems like these sudden events and situations are just appearing out of nowhere sometimes. 

even tho. i tried to look for the resistance, aversion or craving that lead to such events to happen, was kinda hard to see. maybe it is my mind state that is cluttered or something.

letting go of looking for the reason, i was wondering how to solve the events or issues that appeared suddenly into my journey?

I m trying not to resist and go with the flow and allow things to be and just be still and optimistic.

even tho I did notice a change in the flow and change in the outcome of the events but it seems it is fluctuating and not maintain the desired outcome or less undesired outcome to stay.

It is kind of a crucial and critical event that is happening and that is why i m asking for help.

Thank you ! <3