blue eyed snake

't was the hottest thing in those days. My, the times have changed indeed. That is the dress you bought to try a bit of crossdressing and then be finished with it? I think dresses could look real good on you but you need a bit of help what looks nice on you and how to wear .I know another transwoman, my age, who told me the first dress came out a bit meh... and then her young adult daughter took her to the shops and they went on a shopping spree and she learned womans clothing. at first sight i would say this needs some dangling jewellery around your wrists just some doodads to finish it. I remember when I started working as a child-psychologist i got help with what outfits i could use for that. I much like looking at welldressed woman, but me myself, no sir I was top of my year but always looked like a mechanic or someone cutting trees... and i needed to learn to look like a female professional, well, i ended up in pants but the total looked professional and i did feel more or less myself in it.

for me it was pivotal, during my early years women and girls wore dresses. to wear pants was a statement in those days, I remember one of my big sisters wearing hot pants with high boots in those days, that caused quite the uproar in the household. I found her beautiful, i think i was five so she was 15, dad was not amused, i did not understand, i liked what I saw.

I live in a woman's body and after decades of wearing pants I had a hard time to wear a skirt at first, but it was so hot I thought it would make me more comfortable. Now, in my old age it does not matter anymore, what clothing I wear, whether I enjoy looking at a young woman or a young man, what pronouns people use. it's of no interest anymore. Looking back I think i was lucky with parents who reared their brood as neutral as possible in those days. we all had to learn to cook, knit, basic sewing and also basic technical things, fix a puncture, change a tire on your bike. Being able to use a hammer and a screwdriver, helping dad painting the house. plus the leniency of my parents to let me wear boyswear, to let me run wild. Looking back I am happy I've tasted both genders without transitioning, just by living like the opposite, fond memories of my time as a mechanic. in a way I've tasted physical life in an extraordinary rich way, although i would have jumped to the chance of mastectomy and testosterone when I was younger, now I am grateful I had to find other ways to be okay with myself.

BES

can only give my personal experience, Kundalini came totally unexpected and it cut away ego in one fell swoop. for many weeks I walked around dazed. That one fell swoop had made me realize that those stories that I had always shrugged away as woowoo were true, that ego was made out of nothing, that the phrase "were all one" has substance. but I could not live like that and a new storyline, a new ego built up. again reactive et cetera Now with the underlying knowledge that it is just a story

found it, Matthew 19-12 in my motherlanguage it says something like: he who can understand it, let him understand. With an undertone of" this is not easy to understand/grasp, but some people will understand." I read it as: some guys are so devoted to the spiritual path that they will cut off their balls to e totally devoted to their path. ergo, they are not distracted anymore by arousal and lust and wet dreams https://biblehub.com/matthew/19-12.htm so, very different the transitioning but same lowering of testosteron and loss of libido due to that.

I remember guys always saying I did understand their point of view much better then other women and that they experienced that as helpful. I think the indigenous people of america said that 2 spirit people can be a bridge between the 2 sexes when those trouble each other.

In my case the body forced it on me by both hormonal changes, early menopause and thus deteriorating mucous membranes and an illness that lets my body react with allergy-like reaction to arousal. also allergic to estrogens btw... so I am a perfect celibate monk in my old age, not by choice though. thinking on it, but not being male more like wondering. When you change the hormonal balance by taking estrogens and thus reducing the influence of testosteron. I guess it just follow that you're less inclined to want sex. uhm...like of old you had eunuchs with their balls cut of, another way to drastically reduce testosteron and sexdrive. or am i amiss with that thought? I seem to remember there was some bible text about this too

mine were less frilly but even a nonfrilly dress is nasty climbing trees and such things as the skirt tends to catch on things. Plus I was a boy and boys wear pants, not dresses.

although some spiritually minded people would like to have their sexual lust taken away, somehow I think you are not one of them. Mine was taken by some disease of the body and I do not like that one bit, take care you keep yours, don't increase the risk by jokingly talking about it..

don't talk of the well you do not want to drink

Deep in your heart you're the sweetest little kitten

I did not mind, i know you mean well. but it shows how easily people can misunderstand what is said and spread what they think they heard.

she's still young, lets forgive her

yeah...i saw that happening, i should-have quoted all your posts

change is hard eh, and for most people physical reality is all there is. You are talking about different identities and bodies, I hardly identify with my body anymore, but will not tell anybody in real life, would only make life harder for me. apart from the physical reality as objective reality, the approvement by nature, at least were I live, a lot of things are changing and people do not react well to that, they loose their accustomed structures. tbh i see societal structures collapsing and i do not think that bodes well. I guess part of the backlash transpeople get is overflow from other changes. being scapegoated. But i still cannot get feminine dick energy I get people feel not at home in body I get people wanting boobs or mastectomy I have trouble getting bottom surgery but know a transwoman my age who did that and she was radiantly happy, at last she was who she want meant to be. Although she had some nasty complications. I can understand how one tries to tie together body features and feelings. But I do not get feminine dickenergy, i can understand it as a way of tying together several layers of being. as something very personal for your body/emotional stuff But looking at that transman I posted some posts before, i do guess that the changing of the physical reality plays a big part for trans-people and I have always wondered whether that is because they then feel better in their body or they are better accepted in their new genderrole or both.

well, just as I did not like the majority opinion pushed on my life the opposite is true, most people are content with their existence as guy or gal plus the physical adornments that come with it. Trying to change that is one of the reasons the opposition against trans people is growing, which in its wake has caused me not to get out of the closet. imho you youngsters are pushing too hard. Further I wonder, when dick is not symbol for masculinity, why do transmen get surgery to get themselves a dick ( of sorts), and vice versa why do trans woman get bottomsurgery.

Oh, i do not feel excluded Luke, on the contrary. I've met many a man with the same sort of relation ( for want of a better word,) with their genitalia. just like women who feel their boobs are an important part of their being female ( which was one of the reasons I have been so insecure about who am I btw. I've regarded those boobs as unwanted as first, because they got in the way playing, later they got in the way of feeling myself as suddenly the whole world was adamantly treating me as girl. And now they get in the way, quite literally when i look down. I never had any emotional relationship with em, the only reason I would like to not have em is they get in the way, useless pieces of flesh) so thats the same sort of reason I am not happy with the weight I gained, the wrinkles that appeared and I won't anybody touch a knife to my body. But regarding the question whether a dick is a distinct marker of masculinity, i do agree. For almost all males it is. and i guess this person agrees too. ( warning, sensitive content )

well....try to climb a tree, puddlejump, crouch through mud, catch toads dressed like this, while staying clean to top it off. As nice girls keep their clothing and shoes clean and neat. I just never aspired to be a nice girl I guess. I preferred wellies, pants and a sweater or shirt, at the end of the street nature began and I could play there all I wanted, as long as was at home in time for dinner everything was fine.

yeah but ... ehm, when we were young people were neatly classified in male and female ( as god ordained ) Babies have no idea about male and female, 3 year olds in general have observed this classification. Brothers, fathers and boys are male, sisters, moms and girls are classed as female. But from the time they are babies they are approached according to their sexe. That is outcome of research but I've observed that rearing my son. I got clothing from a sister who had a girl about a year older then my boy. so as a baby he had a nice warm pink babysuit. "oooh, what a lovely little girl, and your momma dressed you warmly to protect you from the cold, what a sweet girl you are" Next week, same bakery, blue jacket and babyjeans, " now you're a sturdy little boy, you can handle the cold eh. You make your momma proud. See those different messages? shaping the expectations our society has from boys and girls, those expectations partly shape our personalities. I found it also interesting that (perceived) babygirls got higher voices cooing over them then babyboys so there's the biological aspect plus the societal aspects that tries to mold us into gender-specific behavior and identification. But also, as a kid I was thus taught there are 2 categories, boy or girl. Nothing else to choose from. Well i was very sure I was not a girl so I had to be a boy. It was not that I wanted a dick @Apech, but i had classified myself as a boy "because i was not a girl" so there was no other choice. I expected to grow a dick as it was needed to fulfill the role of "boy" just as my big sister in those days was growing boobs. During my younger years I have so often wondered what was wrong with me, after a time I sort of decided I was a lesbian, but that was not right to as there were also guys I liked to share my bed with, so then I was biseksual. But why did I lean to be a man...et cetera. For young people it is important to be clear about who they are, where they belong and what their place in a group is. How they identify as it is currently called. But the dichotomy male - female is not true, it is manmade, as there are people who are neither, That's both the intersex people and the trans/nonbinary people. Now that may not be a large group, but many people belong to it. My life would have been a lot easier when i had been aware there exists a third category for those that do not fit in the large dichotomy. The way I lean to when doing nothing ( Thanks @surrogate corpse ) is mostly male, but I can lean female too. The current generation would probably label me nonbinary, for me, after all those decades, I am human and that's okay.

i wonder about Boaz and Jachin, I mean, I know about the story of the temple pillars, the easy to find stuff. But sometimes I wonder about it, what do these symbolize, is there any relation with all the energetic stuff that is surrounding the fleshbody? not looking for "truth" but for some insights and associations from better educated bums then me. Maybe @Nungali has something for me

i thought you're the guy trying to balance these are dead, not happily sleeping after consuming to much apples or something

excellent

totally normal behavior for young beautiful women, although i do not have any active intentions anymore, I still like looking at female beauty. Just like I like looking at butterflies and the new flowers now bursting.

seem to remember they were described as such