silent thunder

i fear hate i fear people who believe in external evil i fear paralysis and blindness and hate.... (you said that one twice) Yea! that one really freaks me out... i fear losing my mind the way my mum did... losing all connection to her loving family and friends and as a result, living in a bodily shell existing in a fear filled self imposed isolation... i fear people who deeply crave power people who think they have the answers for everyone get an honorable mention and bear close watching but all of these are little fears they do not live in me like fleeting clouds they puff up and stretch away back to their source just like i will one fine moment...

I was voluntarily bald for about 18 years. Really enjoyed not thinking about hair at all.

I'm with you on the search function here... it's always seemed at best, temperamental.

nevermind... nungali found it.

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. ~ R Buckminster Fuller

Looking back, it sure seems that it was an inevitability in my path. And it's the sense of this inevitability that in my life now, has become a fluid, flowing, living awareness of the awesome interconnectedness of everything... all life and 'non life'. My 'body' to distant nebulae. It's this tangible, unshakable living, vibrant experience that reinforces the notion that once the path is begun, absolutely everything become grist for the mill and propels the inertia of the process. It's fluid and effortless as it seems to carry me along, yet effort may be 'swollen' into it endlessly. It never tires, nor sleeps, nor thirsts, yet all of these contribute to it, even though they never touch it. Once begun, the path is the destination, is the journey and for me, here, it is apparent that the only unavoidable situation is to ever be separate from source by even a hairs width for a millisecond, anywhere, ever... Every act taken and every action not taken, every practice started and dropped and restarted, every utterance and avoidance, each argument and love making... in the end... it's all equal parts illusion, or truth and further on, inevitably it is revealed as almost indistinguishable at times... truth, perception based truth certainly, but truth as a concept because of this sense of inevitablility is almost... irrelevant to me... Because at this point, even when I'm served lies and illusion in favor of truth, eventually every illusion serves truth, for when uncovered, untruth serves truth as dutifully as full truth. For in perceiving what a thing is not... I more deeply enter into a connectedness with what it truly is. It is that way for me now and for the last couple trips our ball of wet dirt has taken around the burning ball of gas we refer to as the Sun... A personal example... both my mother and my wife, told me very intense big lies about heinous acts done to them, involving people I knew. These things were not true. Most of my friends advised me to cut and run when they found out and thought I should lash out and punish them for the transgressions. But thankfully, and I'm so deeply grateful for this... through my connection to them, I had no anger, nor any feeling of being 'misused' in either case. I saw in both, that what they were doing was what they felt they had to do, to establish a deeper connection with me, that would result in me giving them my love, or more accurately in them being able to accept my love. In both of these women, based on their childhood beliefs and how they had been abused and forced to believe about themselves that they were undeserving of love in and of themselves... there was not the belief that they were worthy of being loved for who they were... and so they made these stories, in order to create an internal space in them, where they could allow themselves to accept love that was already present. My only action with either of them, was to hold them close and tell them again and again, that I loved them and I always had loved them and nothing could alter that process... not lies, not hateful words, nothing. I love you and want you to thrive. That's the gist of my connection with people and that is what makes my life something beyond what I could have expected in my darkest hours. so lucky for the lies and the truths... so grateful. deeply humbling to share that connection with anyone, ever...

Aw... Yogi... man he had so many great zingers!

turns out... life is the leading cause of death. ~me

joeblast mentioned the federal reserve and the private banking cartels that really have the ability to sway the course of nations, it is consistently very odd to me, how this never gathers any inertia when the topic comes up... not here, not at work, nor in my private conversations... it just seems to slide, nearly instantly and effortlessly off the train of thought... ninjas should study this I think. To me, the six most potently dangerous words in the english language military industrial complex federal reserve bank Perhaps it's just me, but I don't see the office of president having as much power as folks like to present it as... for the main part, it's the position of target, whereby we dump all our praise and blame for the workings of the system. I add one more for mostly interpersonal and religious institutional evil 'justified' and one more for political, oligarchical influential evil 'corporations' Well... I got that out, now let's continue to enlighten each other with all of this talk of these two individual people, who stand as representatives of two private organizations who have utterly co-opted the election process which decides who will decide what our nation will do.

To me, every single word (printed or spoken), every gesture, every non-verbal, every facial expression, thought, idea and unspoken intent has an energetic projection or compression to it... but that's me and where I am currently. Empathy and introspection and the teachings shared with me by my many many teachers seem to have inevitably led to this... I oscillate between extreme gratitude for it and gnashing my teeth against the pain of it. Any longer, I can't distinguish the demarcation line of my practice and my non practice. It's all one ocean and each wave is as much the rest of the ocean as any other. I've been communicating without words to animals, trees and similarly vibrating humans all of my life. When I was a child it was natural. When I was adultified, culture and materialists tried to convince me it was an oddity. (shrug-fail) Life just is...

keep them fed and entertained and you can do what you will... if that fails, divide them with fear and you can do what you will... I wonder what we will talk about the day after the 'election'.

Absolute certainty is the realm of the arrogant ignorant, and of this, I'm absolutely certain. ~me

I wonder how deep the rut in the earth is from her circles... as to leaving the country or not... I suspect, at her level, your body wouldn't have to go anywhere for you to go everywhere with her... circles within circles and whatnot. sagebrush, i can relate. I'm getting ready for a break from the media again soon. Answers are boring, predictable and usually unfulfilling, particularly my own. i find I am far more connected to life when i live in the questions...

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. ~Augusten Burroughs

yup, *shrug* again... where is baguakicksass when we need her?

The breakdown for the 3x manifestation was explained to me as... One from the initiator, one for the intention, or the work, and one for the target.

I'm not interested in childish... but I readily cultivate childlike.

I gave up trying to change the world a while ago. Now I strive to heal my self and thus through me, that which I come in contact with, will heal as well. Kindness and Love... they don't cost a thing... sprinkle that shit everywhere!

where is baguakicksass when we need her... In my limited experience with it, I'd say the cost of magic depends on the nature of what is involved in the intention, reverberated back upon the caster x3... so whatever goes out, comes back triplefold.

Interesting. I can only find them dried here... so I add them to smoothies where they are thoroughly micronized. I know that the phytochemicals in tomatoes are released and activated when the tomatoes are lightly cooked, not raw. The reverse is true for beets. Raw beets are packed with them, but cooking destroys that... My gut tells me that they are most potent and effective eaten fresh and well chewed. But that is purely my instinctive reaction. Though now, this thread has me wanting to get a bush and make tea from the leaves and stems...

Potent stuff Mate! You sir, have obviously not lost your marbles... harmony... harmonizing seems so much more attainable than balance and has an effortless quality to it, can even arise through sympathetic vibration... I've experienced this when I'm able to get enough out of my own way to allow spontaneous expression of self... there is some deep wu wei truth being shared in those words my friend. That really resonates... *deep bow of respect*

I used to enjoy watching the high level of competition. The injuries were always a drag. The violence of it was always a turn off, but I looked past it for the fun of the competition. I look at it now, if it's on tv when we're out at a pub and wonder how it ever held my attention the way it did...

What you're saying resonates closely with where I've been recently... Though I still engage in my practices, I no longer 'do them' in the manner I used to... there used to be a rather rigid approach and a solemnity, almost militaristic approach that has evaporated rather spontaneously some time ago. It's more like allowing myself and the forms, or the sitting to cohabitate in the practice space, rather than me entering into some well defined and ordered 'thing'. There's an amorphous quality to it. I've stopped reading external sources for validation of my process, yet I still read. There is no longer a sense of seeking... anything. Rather, just a simple letting go and being wherever I am. Radical release... and a constant process of letting go. In order to just be. Simple being. Really simple.

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