Sign in to follow this  

Can anyone help me with a demon problem?

Recommended Posts

So, it's a long story...when I was 20 years old, I learned to leave my body at will. 


Eventually I could do so within seconds.


I saw many things...though I only encountered 5 beings who weren't physically there.


My first experience, a light like a star appeared in front of me.  Stuck its tendrils of light into my head and telepathically shouted "Do not ever kill yourself!"


The second time, Jesus' face was where the sun was supposed to be, smiling.  Freaked me out and snapped me back.


I wasn't Christian back then, atheist anti-christian as a kid, at the time new age, now some kind of Christian Taoist.


The 3rd figure I met during a later experience was what I imagined the devil would look like.


As a huge Diablo video game fan, naturally I tried to kill him by shooting lightning from my hands.


It did nothing to him, and I was paralyzed by fear.  I looked to my right, and now suddenly I could see a glowing old man just sitting and floating and watching.  What I imagined Lao Tzu might look like.


I looked back at the devil in front of me.  Without my willing, a sphere of translucent light appeared around me.


The devil tapped on it, and left.  That was that.


For another 6 months nobody else appeared to me.


My second to last out of body experience, I thought I was slowly ascending / transcending to a state of Nirvana, or being one with Dao, or whatever.


After 3 days straight of silently chanting Om in my mind.


I was becoming the building, the trees, sky, etc and that perception was expanding.


I felt like I might be fading as a person permanently, and thought "I can't leave behind my friends and family to suffer". So, back to reality.  Oh, there goes gravity.


The very next day, I left my body and was immediately attacked by an assailant from behind, who I could not see.  Choking and raping me.


That was the last day I managed to ever leave my body proper.


Now, I can't fill up my body with chi / spirit / energy / whatever.  It all flows down to my butt, like some kind of leech attached there sucking it out of me.  Raping me all day every day for over 15 years.


Since then, 4 different transmediums of varying faiths, including one Taoist master, told me I have a "prince" demon, not Satan / unwanted "alien" (as in foreign) entity / negative spirit attached to me.


All suggested the same, I had to quit smoking weed and / or tobacco to be free of it. 


(If only someone told me before I started experimenting with meditation!)


It's ironic since one of the 4 mediums I've spoken to smokes weed on the regular.  Ah, either way I'm done with that plant.  It does make things noticeably worse for me.


The tobacco has proven impossible to give up.


The Taoist master, who I respect the most, taught me about shielding yourself with light (years after the glowing old man helped me when I was out of body).


He also taught me about seeking guidance from this internal energy.  Which, let me tell you, is not a good idea when you have a demon attached to you!


This master won't meet with me now apparently.  Despite teaching about leaving the body and spirits in one of his classes. 


I called his office and his assistant refused to give me a healing appointment, said he doesn't do exorcisms.


This demon thing has ruined my life.  This demon, pretending to be "God", convinced me to quit my job to focus on tobacco cessation years ago.  Bad idea.


This demon convinced me to not pursue a woman who was super into me.  Now lost to me forever.  Bad idea, probably good for her though.


Now I'm alone without any friends anymore, the only family that speaks to me, my sister, living on the other side of the continent.


I'm on disability for schizophrenia (meds never helped).  Enabling me to just waste away consuming electronic content all day to distract and escape myself...


I recently got 3 back to back tooth infections.  From neglect, too many sweets.


I could feel the infection spreading to my brain, and hundreds of points of "light" within my brain. 


Like "someone" was apparently helping me stay alive and unwell.  Without me praying / asking for help.


And yet I've prayed and begged for years for clarity and strength and ability to quit smoking cigarettes... unanswered.


I don't get it.  I can still feel love coming to me from an outside unidentified source...yet my life is still a nightmare.  Worse and worse, it's only getting more difficult.


These infections were happening in the midst of a schizophrenic episode, hopefully the last one since I can recognize it for what it was.  Delusion.  


Well, mostly.  I ended up locking myself out of my apartment.  My door unlocked, apartment door locked...on purpose in the middle of the night. 


I thought some deep state person was on their way to plant drugs on me or something.


Maybe the shadow government JFK spoke of was messing with me simultaneously during this delusion?  They may have been dosing me with something against my knowing.  I wouldn't put it past "them".


After all, I had called the cops for a neighbor who said she'd been dosed with a psychedelics unknowingly against her will.  The cops never showed up or called me back for some reason...


Anyways when I returned to my apartment the next day, there's an empty plastic possession bag.  In my apartment.  With a blank label on it from "Fort Knox"...thousands of miles from me.


Who knows...not me 


What does God send those destined for Hell, as written in the Bible?  Delusion.


Though, at the very end of the schizo episode, some "helpful unknown otherworldly being" began to channel itself through me.  Speaking out loud words that I've since forgotten.  Immediately after that, my mind became my own again.


The devil was convincing me that God was speaking in my thoughts.  Maybe He was, for a time.  Not any longer.


One way or another, I no longer trust my thoughts or feelings.  I don't think I'll end up delusional again...we'll see.


I don't know what to think or bothers me so much that all I cared about when I was younger was understanding "why am I alive?".  Now I'm further from an answer to that than ever.


I'm completely terrified of dying, the one reason I don't and won't ever kill myself is because I'm in no hurry to see what's waiting for me, after failing the game of life for so long.


I've tried everything.  Therapy, groups, meds, hypnotism, exercise and diet, gum, patches, even smoking tobacco alternative herbal blends.


The one thing I haven't tried is what helped my sister quit smoking.  She moved for her job, and became a part of a community where nobody else smoked.


Any suggestions for me?  Please don't suggest meditation.  That is what got me into this mess.


It is anti-relaxing, disheartening and discouraging to meditate.  Since it's just a reminder of the fact I'm being raped all the time.


Are there any established Taoist temples who speak English yet? 


I can't join any church close to me, they all preach that judgemental antichrist doom and gloom stuff.  Reminding me if there is Hell, I'll probably end up there.


Maybe I'll try community city garden in the spring again.  Covid then delusion derailed me last 2 years...


I can't think of anything worth my time besides growing food (in a non-industrial setting), or finding a Taoist temple where I can be a bum.


Thanks for reading...






Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this