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How to build awareness of the organs and spine in a safe manner without a teacher?

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I would very much like to be able to be aware of the processes and structures going on in my body, so that I may make the right decisions when it comes to my health and physical wellbeing, particularly since I have a spinal/muscular problem I am almost certain can be resolved if my awareness of the physical components and structure of the body is increased.

 

What approach should I take? I practice nondual mindfulness as much as I can, and whilst it has greatly increased awareness of the posture, it's really not a lot, presumably because attention is not directed. I dislike directing attention; it feels too forced. I have tried zhan zhuang, but it gives me a headache and makes me very very tired, likely due to a blockage around the shoulders/head area I mentioned above. I don't wish to do any activities that involve manual movement of qi, as I think this is very dangerous if one does not have a great awareness of the flows in the body already, or has a good, verifiable teacher to hand. Also focusing on the spine or organs probably isn't a good idea, as you will likely mess the energy flows to and from these areas, due to lacking awareness of the areas beforehand. 

 

What should I do? Am being too cautious? Is there perhaps a system designed around building a deep awareness of the processes of the body? 

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Inner work can be dangerous, true, but I do think you're being a tad too cautious.

Spend 20 minutes a day simply trying to be aware of your body. Start at the top of the head, try and feel everything there, and when you've got a good sense of what you can and can't feel then move down to the next part of the body. Building awareness won't really "mess" with the energy flows, you're just working on becoming aware of them.

And yes, you will come across blockages. Dissolve them, but if the blockage is too tough to dissolve all in one go (and it probably is) don't worry about it and move on for now, you can always dissolve it more later.

In general, the work that can be dangerous is "qi packing" work and work that involves moving the energy up through the body. Neither of these are bad practices but you need a qualified teacher making sure you don't fuc those up lol

Edited by blackturtlesnake
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