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About deepabidance

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  1. imo daoism, spirituality, realization, truth, all run far deeper than the superficial forms practiced and celebrated by most people, particularly from what I have read in this thread, although I didn't read much because there is a lot of argument and repetition over and over. If you think you are only enlightened if you go in the caves, if you need to live in the caves, then you are either very longing for truth and also very troubled by the pollution of the world, a hopeless romantic, or both. Often, its best to get this out of your system, or live it if that works. Go for it. Don't go on a forum and talk about it. If you think living in a cave is the only answer, go ahead and do it. More power to you if you can become enlightened like this. On the other hand, the bookstore spirituality that others are talking here is very superficial also. Unless you have delved deep into madness of duality, esctacy, suffering, given yourself to life really and that means not following desires - not because desires are bad or for energetic reasons - but recognizing what is desire that is self-recreating and repeating and what is authentic and real and needed, and really given yourself to samadhi and life and experience, you have not even begun to touch on dao. IF you are seeing dao in people at mcdonalds or in this place and that place, your relationship with the dao is still extremely feeble and mystical and not really anything real - akin to an old woman looking into your eyes and saying that you are loved or a child of god. True, yes, beautiful, penetrating, real? Yes, but it is not the penetration into the dao. Dao is not known through form, but through the formless, the nameless, the land of not being able to stand on anything, the land of giving and of fear and difficulty and surrender. Then it can be known in form. Not before. Then it can be known as an expression of life, in the world or wherever you choose to live it. Not before. Only after you delve deep and penetrate into the dao and give yourself to it, can you come out and see it in all form. Until then, it is window shop, or even photoshop spirituality sometimes. You can call a smile a dao. A tree the dao. A squirrel the dao. Beautiful, but fleeting. You are looking for something, not giving yourself to the very ground of your existence and of esctacy and madness. Often you are recreating experiences, your are looking for something and recreating, somewhere, a mystical feeling of oneness or union. It is not transformative, not deep, not a real penetration, not something that rips you apart and reveals the nature of reality and love to you. When that starts happening, if that starts happening, you will not see the dao here and there. You will not see the dao anywhere. You will be consumed so much by the dao, that nothing will be visible NOT of dao - and not in the sense of something new happening, or a constantly recognition of 'the dao is here, the dao is there!', everything that was unreal, illusion, and not of the dao, will be burned in your system, and all you will see is dao, without seeing it, without feeling it, without knowing it. The knowing that is given when you are emptied utterly, not when you are still looking here and there, looking mystically at the grains of rice and calling them dao. The knowing that it is so destructive that is challenges everything, destroys everything about you and what you know, in silence and awe you remain, your life unknown now, a movement - moment to moment, in this dao. You switch dimensions - from the root up and down you are constructed anew. It is is something else, not this photoshop spirituality, it is immensely deep, and immensely real, not fleeting or playful. It is cosmic playfulness, beyond playfulness or laughter, a playfulness that contains all seriousness as well. Not just a cup of tea and a laugh with a friend, seen from a mystical and seeking eye, looking for dao in it. It razes your reality to the ground and reveals something else entirely. All these things are the mild callings of the dao. Calling you - o ye living so banefully self content and self protected in your little life, see here, see there, the vast shimmering treasure, vast possibility, vast life that suddenly shuts you up when you are laughing with a friend, and turns you inward, serious. Something in you has stopped, is even afraid, but recognizes the realness. The laughter and the friend just a gate, something else was revealed. Your boredom of the laughter, in truth, of the endless conversation and personal relating and stories back and forth. When you shut up, and face the hollowness of it all - or perhaps it is more giving and you see it in beauty - as a beauty, in the people you are spending time with and it enriches rather than demolishes. But these are glimpses. Callings. the mystery, the dao, is calling you, showing you little cracks and glimpses into its sacred jewel, eternal reality, depth and wonder - and the seriousness and implications of the presence of something like this behind the entire universe. But it won't call forever, neither will these sparks and glimpses hold your attention forever. Either you will jump - jump into the crack, and abandon the world before you, behind you, entirely, as you throw yourself into this ocean, this unknown - not because it is blissful. You know it is not. It can be terrible, terrifying, it will wreck you, destroy you. But something about it, its realness, its calling, its mystery, just causes you to throw yourself into it and abandon the spiritually unsatisfying and limited ways around it. Not that you were consciously unsatisfied, but as it revealed itself - you knew - knew that you were wasting yourself, living life falsely, living something false and really unworthy. When the crack opens, you are faced by the smallness that you are, the stupidity that you are, the dullness of the way you are living. And you will throw, cast yourself into that crack, if there is a fragment of sanity or integrity or truth in you. Somebody you will simple throw yourself into that crack, because the world just does not satisfy, the world is simply senseless and weird. You will throw yourself into that unborn crack and vanish. Maybe you will come back, who knows? Maybe. It feels like you will not. Or you will not, you will choose to follow your dullness, cling in fear to the stupidity of the world and your ways and your misplaced trust in it and yourself and your life and your own intelligence. Then you will waste, waste your life away, while the immensity of the jewel is just a crack away, just underneath you, sitting on it. Waste a life, into the grave, just being a fool and living a foolish, self centered, self protecting life. Maybe you will be a mystic, looking here and there still, reminding yourself that the dao exists when you are down, reminding yourself of the dao in the rocks and the trees because it makes you comfortable. It is a frightening, dark night, a fight for survival, a giving, a hell, a heaven, an esctacy, a pain, a madness, a falling, a rising. It is intense, and has deep valleys. Voids, blackholes. This is how you reach the dao - not because of some tradition or because only these paths that talk of this lead to the dao - but because the dao is an inutterable, vast, consuming reality, and all that will happen, can happen, when facing it, is immense inner transformation, intensity, and immenseness. It is not, small, not fleeting, and not window shop spirituality. To know it, you really have to give. Including seclusion, reclusion, giving up. It is not easy - not meant to be easy. It is the sum of all your evolution as an individual and an individual consciousness being destroyed by something else. Not a building upon, not a gentle breeze, or a beautiful song somewhere. It is a destruction, violent as it is beautiful. Crazy as it is sane, wild as it is the only permeating tameness and calmness. It will shake your world and leave you upside down, then turn you up again and then down again. It will keep doing so till you are its', and its' entirely, no part of you left to yourself any longer. It will own you, forever and forever more. hope this helps much love, truly Nitaant
  2. Hi, Chicago

    Hi, living in chicago and interested in the tao Cheers!