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lmao dude you're jokes XD

Been sleeping on the floor with just a blanket under me for about 2 years now. I always sleep like a baby but lately I've started to feel pain in my hips from no support in that area. FUTON HERE I COME

Some new school sheeeet for MH

 

Are you making "yo moma" jokes about the tao? XD

Things are always great at the beginning. When I first started my journey into spirituality it was with some wayne dyer books and cd's about a year ago. That led to Taoism and when I was there, everything was great. It was all so simple, I loved it. Than slowly I started to let go of Taosim as Buddhism started to intrigue me. Thing's were still simple yet it got a little complicated. I became more strict with myself to the point where I just let loose(not blaming buddhism in anyway, I myself was weak). Now it's been over a month that I have left my practices, broke many promises I had made to myself, and ignoring the truth. Fear has come back which I thought was a thing of the past. Ever since I was a kid I was afraid, afraid of what I never knew. It wasn't until I got into this spiritual journey and introduced love into my life that fear was completely gone. I was a new man, no longer afraid. But as I slowly turn away from spirituality that fear is starting to come back which I know is no good. I don't know why I'm writing this but I just felt like it. I will be starting my practice again because I can't live like this, being afraid. Ignorance may be bliss, but that bliss definitely does not last. Sh*t starts to get real XD

Goodmorning everyone (: I just wanted to say today is going to be an awesome day just like everyday(not because of the numbers, forget that). Much love to all the bums even though we don't talk much. Whenever I feel lost I come here and read anyone of your kind words and it brings me back to the path of good. Thank you everyone, I LUH ERRR ONE OF YALL, I really do (: <3

Always listening to Damian "Jr. gong" Marley (:

 

 

Vexation of spirit is a waste of time

Negative thinking don't you waste your thoughts

Verbal conflict is a waste of word

Physical conflict is a waste of flesh

People will always be who they want

And that's what really makes to world go round

Unconditional love is scarce

^I see what you did there XD

First off anyways please correct me if I am wrong because I could be talking out of my a** XD. The way I see it the ego is one tricky bastard, being on a spiritual journey can be like drugs for the ego. I've had so many times where I feel like I understood everything, enlightenment, bla bla bla but than poof back to normal. Spiritual highs, they can feel so real but the thing is they don't last. I myself don't know how to distinguish between true feelings of bliss/enlightenment and spiritual highs. DAMN EGO!!!!! blame it on the ego, it's the easy way out XD

 

 

p.s. ignorance is bliss

SUPERHEAVY!!!!! They are friggen awesome I can't stop listening to them.

 

Bandmembers: Mick Jagger, Joss Stone, Damian Marley, Dave Stewart, A.R. Rahman

 

 

song starts at 0:50

 

ENJOI (:

tulku you need to chill out dude. Go outside or something, get a girlfriend, go have a drink, DO WHATEVER MANG cause the way your going you will be crazy in no time. PEACE MY BROTHA (: <3

Pursuing a spiritual path is almost impossible for kids now a days with all these influences around, it's sad. I have many friends who are younger than me and the path's they are going down and the influences that are around them are far from spiritual. Everything from themusic,movies,tv,facebook,internet,porn,food,friends,drugs,alcohol is holding these kids back. My brother was showing me this new rapper he listens to, it's friggen retarded(sorry I couldn't put it any other way). Kids skateboarding these days are putting upside down crosses, triple 6's,satan lives,jehovah(I don't know why they put this XD), and all these stupid things on there skateboards thinking it helps them land tricks. I try talking to my brother about spirituality and what not but there's no point. It's kind of like the movie the matrix, they are in this sort of matrix. Below is a part of a song these kids listen to including my little brother, they don't even try to hide the things they say anymore they just say it. You don't have to read the lyrics if you don't want to because it is pretty explicit.

 

"I erupt like a bomb, so give up the baton, I'll slap you after busting a fucking nut in my palm,why you muggin me like something was wrong, just take a puff of the bong, and let me leave your mind corrupt from the song, see you can't stop me, cause I'ma brainwash teens and create false dreams, cause it pays off clean, I'm just an idiotic, ironic, symbolic, illuminatic, product that's gonna be killed if I talk about it, shh, this industry business is all screwed up,I have no favorite rapper because all you suck, I sever the weakest niggas who not on my pedigree, cause on a tombstone is as hard as their name will ever be, I'm judged by my wild image a lot, and everybody seems to think I have a sinister plot, I do, be offended by every sentence I jot, I got some militant thoughts, and you aint killin them off, so listen (Chorus)

I sag my pants until my ass shows, I even slap hoes(bitch), yeah I'm an asshole, yeah yeah, and your parents hate me cause I love you, tell em I said fuck you, yeah I said fuck you, yeah yeah"

 

Immortal dude how old are you lmao. I remember watching this stuff when I was like 8 years old

What if the person who wrote that is your ego XD, I kid. How do you know that you have died to the self? I think I've felt it before after just sitting around for a while but the thing that gets me is how to define between spiritual highs and true glimpses of dying to self or becoming enlightened. If we truly felt this way wouldn't it stay around instead of slowly downing the dosage. Sometimes after I meditate I feel awesome and completely alive. I'm just smiling from everywhere but this slowly fades after time, how do I know if that wasn't just a spiritual high that ego created? LOL I just realized I asked a bunch of questions when I didn't even answer yours. So Everything, the part when you wrote that when you realized everything was "fake" are you basically saying that everything we see is an illusion? I read somewhere that true realization is knowing everything is an illusion, I know that might tick some people off XD. Anyways this post is just a bunch of stuff mixed together and whatever popped in to my head sorry if it isn't productive toward your initial post.

I was just sitting relaxed today reciting the mantra Om Mani Padme Hum. A couple months ago I learned about this mantra and fell in love with it, reciting it over and over but today something else happened. I didn't pressure my self into proper posture or closing my eyes falling into emptiness and what not I just let it be. As I was reciting the mantra I began putting more emphasis on the Om until I felt a sort of vibration past my ears. Slowly I began reciting it from my throat without any effort at all. The sound was as if I wasn't making it. I recited it this way for sometime than just began reciting long Om's randomly. I did that for about a couple minutes than went back to the mantra, I closed my eyes and I felt this surge of energy engulf me. Light flickered as my eyes were closed(sort of like pages of a book being passed through quickly)it was almost as if I was being lifted and I felt this energy so intense I wanted to be immersed in it but I felt scared so I opened my eyes. When I opened my eyes I slowed down the mantra and felt as if I was being brought back(I don't know from were). My body was very hot and I was almost sweating from the experience. I just sat for a while after wondering what the heck happened. It was something else, I also had never recited the mantra like that before at times I couldn't tell if it was me reciting it. I don't know if any of you have experienced this before but I'm still trying to get my head around it. Maybe thisis what's supposed to happen when you don't just recite it anymore you feel it, but I don't think I was ready. It was intense. Do any of you bums have an idea of what might have happened?

 

p.s. I recite the mantra in the Tibetan form which sounds like: Om mani payme hung, I don't know if that matters.

My favourite song by Bob (:

My father has been into Eckankar for a couple years now. He has never forced anything upon me or tried to teach me anything of it. Today he asked me if I wanted to go to a seminar with him next weekend. I know it will make him happy if I tag along but I have some doubts. I know Eckankar is mainly about soul travel and astral projection and what not. To be honest, I'm kind of scared. All that astral projection stuff never really made sense to me and I don't want were I'm at right now to get messsed up. I however know it's good to be open to things so I will still go but I would like to know if any bums know anything about this spiritual path, Eckankar. Thanks a lot everyone (:

 

 

BTW thank you all for replying to my last post, I greatly appreciate it and took all of your views into consideration. I know everything will turn out the way it should, thank you (:

wow I just realized what that all looked like, what a mess. Ummm....yeah sorry about that XD

It said I had posted too many quotes so I deleted the quotes and just left the names of those I replied to. Sorry if it's difficult to read XD.

 

I know everything my father says is right. He has been telling me the manual labour thing for years now XD. Simple things are good as long as it's not repeating the same thing over and over and over and over, maybe repitition is good but my last job was all repition. 90% thinking 10% work, a lot can fit into 10%. Thank you for replying (:

 

Thank you my friend. I understand about it being hard at first, I am willing to suffer for a couple years 100% but I took some hard thought into making the decision of quiting. The electrical field seems as if it is blooming with money and it is such a great field (it is) but there is no suffering at first than tasting the nectar later. It is suffering till the end looking for drops of nectar. Yes eventually I would have gotten paid more but even if they did pay $1000/h it is simply not worth the time that is lost in my life and the physical strain I have put onto my body. I don't know about the medical field, it's not something I ever had interest in. Now TCM would be pretty cool but I don't know if that has a future. Anyways thank you for replying (:

 

Yes you seemed to find the good in this situation, now I now what I don't want XD. Yeah I'm not going for anything medical, I wanted to become an electrical engineer but that was just a little fib I hid behind. Given the circumstances I probably won't even end up going to university. Thank you K for repling (:

 

Thank you sloppy zhang for that long reply I greatly appreciate it. You however did lose me at all that AP stuff. I'm not familiar with the education system in the US as I'm from Canada. I get what you are saying about the whole asian parent running down the school. I have seen it happen and I know my father will be willing to do that anytime of the day XD. I don't know though about putting stuff on the back burner. Life is short, I'm only 18 I don't want to spend all my life studying when in the end it's just a false identity I've created for myself which is only feeding this ego I am so dearly trying to rid myself of. I did a lot of that networking stuff when I was working electrical. I can get back into it anytime I want with several people willing to hire me but I know deeply that it is not something that is for me. For know I don't know dude, it seems as if things are going good for you I'm gonna give this college thing a shot. Thanks for replying man (:

 

My skills in electrical are no where valuable. Sure I learned many things, I can wire a whole house by my self, work with pipe, trouble shoot small problems, but the work was more manual labour anyone could do it. My job wasn't in electronics it was electrical construction and maintenance. So my primary job was doing the electrical for residential and commercial jobs. I don't know anything about electronics XD. Right now since I am just an apprentice and not licensed it is illegal for me to do sidejobs and what not so I can't make any money unless I'm working for a company. Eating bitter in the electrical field means eating bitter till I retire. Thank you for taking time to reply (:

 

 

I feel you. Yeah I have no where close to 100K. I understand your views on college but right now that seems like the only answer, when I find a program. Thank you for the reply (:

 

 

When I first started working I could relate a lot to the tao. Things such as if you approach everything as a difficulty than nothing is difficult. Or when I was given a job such as doing the rough in for electrical of a 3 story house I would take everything step by step instead of looking at the whole job and being overwhelmed. Those feelings towards the job however did not last. Thank you for replying (:

 

They are only in the states, thanks though. My father however phoned one of his friends and he told me he can help me with my studies and if I don't know what to do he said he has a test he can give me to see what I am interested in, similar to the link you sent me. Thank you for replying (:

 

No my simple life doesn't involve living in my parents house forever XD that would be the lazy life. I know where my father is coming from, he wants me to be better than he was and he only does it for the love he has for me. Of course I can work 12 hour shifts when I'm 18, do I want to? No. We had people working for the company who were in there 50's doing the same shifts I was doing and they were fulled licensed and had there masters. The first week at home I left to go camping in the backcountry alone so no chores were done XD. However I have been helping around the house, I have to. Thank you for repling (:

 

Wow. Than what am I supposed to persue, that is the question which has stumped me. I know somewhat about the whole ego and identity stuff, I know that anything I do is going to be feeding my ego. Electrical Apprentice was a title I had given myself. That title is now gone but in fact it never existed because it was an illusion to begin with. I don't know, thanks for replying though (:

 

Packing my bags and travelling is probably everyones dream at my age. I would do it in a heartbeat I have the money, but it would be so selfish of me which is why I can't. I did however try to get a taste by going backpacking alone in the backcountry for a couple days, I saw some pretty amazing sights, meditated like never before, and realized some pretty cool things. A couple days however wasn't enough, but it was nice. I would like to read some those papers you're talking about. I'll figuire out a way to give you my email I don't know how to use this site to the full extent yet. Thanks for replying dude (:

Simple is not easy! There are cultural rights of passage. You bit off the technical skill thing. You even got lost in it. Now get the education thing set up and do that. You live in North America. Don't take the opportunity for granted. If you don't know what to do or why, then just dive in and see what happens. What a luxury to consider completing an academic program as something you don't want to do. Don't resist it any longer. Work hard!

 

Thank you Deci Belle for replying. It's not that I don't want to go back to school, I honestly do. I went into school today fighting to take the university courses but the guidance counsler insisted that I can't do such a thing and she threw a bunch of college books at me. If I want to go to university I must stay back a year and half in highschool and to my father that is too much time. I already tried the whole dive in see what happens with electrical and yes I learned a lot of skills, I don't regret it but that didn't work out. My mother says to just choose something and go even if you don't like it but that's what I did before and it didn't work. I don't know Deci, thank you for taking time to reply.

I had a great opportunity to become an electrician but it wasn't something I could do forever. I had lost myself in the job, my whole life revolved around work doing 12 hour shifts a day coming home to just sleep. I quickly got myself out of that after 9 months. I have been jobless for 3 weeks now and my parents keep hitting me in the head(not literally). I just went back to highschool to see if I can upgrade my courses but they said I must stay back for a year and half in order to take grade 12 university courses. I don't even know what I would do if I go to university, I would just be there to make my parents happy. Right now as I typed that my father walked in telling me I F***** my life up and I have to go work for $10 an hour for the rest of my life and all this bullshit. They want me to be at a high leval so people recognize me but I don't care about that. I just want to live a simple life but to them that isn't good enough. I don't know what to do, what the heck am I supposed to do? How do you guys do it, cultivating the way but at the same time living in this system. I'm only 18, I'm guessing you're all over 20 so please tell me how you do it I need to know. This goes against everything I've learned to ask others for something only I would know but I don't know! I don't know what my interests are, what I will be doing for the rest of my life I am stumped. This is all giving me a headache and my father wont stop rambling.

Hello Mr.Audio. I have something to say about all this, this is just my opinion so I'm sorry if I offend anyone. To me it seems as if this was going to happen either way. If you went or not this girl already had this sort of mindset which was revealed to you recently. If you went sure it could have not ended this way, but eventually she would have met with that dude somewhere or met some other guy. This was supposed to happen in order for her to learn something and for you to learn something. For now the only thing you can do is use this to your advantage, there are many lessons to be learned and feelings to overcome which can help you grow spiritualy. Two years is already a long time to have been together but just be happy you didn't find out who she really was later on when you became more attached. Take care my brotha and much love (:

Full moon tonight for the bums that didn't know, enjoy (: