Clarity

Good one. Here's another, "Let the Sun of Truth rise in your Mind like the Breath of Jesus."

Or a fear of not having any fears.

I'd suggest you do yourself a favor and find a teacher. The benefits are achieved in a natural way by doing it, not by thinking about it. What you are looking for is a kind of union between breath, movement, and awareness. When you sink the Chi and relax, your whole body becomes light and full of ease, and the Chi flows naturally. It is true that you use your mind to guide your breath but not in a tense or controlled way. The breath needs to be soft, the body needs to be soft, the mind needs to be soft. Any unnecessary physical tension just gets in the way of the Chi flow. If you do decide to look for a teacher, find someone who teaches the application. In other words, someone who teaches it as a Martial Art. A good teacher can do a lot to ease any confusion you might have about how to proceed.

Your issue is not really one of alignment. It feels more like you struggle with your mind so much, it gets in the way of your physical intelligence. Too much rigid tension and not enough relaxation which leads to too much effort. When you use too much effort, you struggle. That struggle triggers all of your spiritual experiences of struggling. Once you stop struggling, your awareness will lead your breath and movement. So you are kind of misinterpreting what's going on with your body and your mind. For example, your mind doesn't tell your muscles what to do; the mind is too slow and clumsy for that. Your physical intelligence already knows how to do everything, you just have to get your mind out of the way.

Welcome the Machine. It neither rises nor falls. The answer is now.

And it's not just about emotions either. We have sensations, emotions, and reactions. We often get them mixed up. Mistaken identity or misinterpretation of emotions <> reactions, reactions <> sensations, emotions <> sensations.

Unity, multiplicity, and awareness. Those are the three things that come to mind when I think of "I am because you are."

Awesome, thank you for sharing your experience with us. That stillness and silence is so often hidden behind the veil of our conceptual minds. This is what I call experiencing the Tao. It doesn't seem spiritual or pretentious to me.

Actually, it's more about gravity, leverage, and physics. There's almost always an easier way to move something heavy than using brute force.

Energetically it feels more like anxiety around being judged by others. So not fear as much as mental reactivity. Feel better? Oops, now I see we are kind of threadjacking....apologies to the OP.

Somewhat out of the box response here. I've been through my fair share of 'digestive issues' but turns out there was really more to it. It was not really solvable by diet or exercise. When I make a triad out of your respiration, digestion, and elimination. It's respiration and elimination that feel weakest, they cause that triad to collapse. Here are a few things that tested weak energetically: 1. Lungs. Parasites at the cellular level. Strengthened and deleted. Lymphatic connection to the lungs strengthened. The lungs and large colon have a very direct relationship, one can weaken the other. 2. Suppression of grief, sadness, loss at the emotional level, also corrected. 3. An issue around money and finances (not having enough) causing you to worry. 4. Make you strong to any misinformation, misinterpretation, and wrong answers. Misinformation comes up as the first weakness, corrected. 5. An energetic correction to get your mind out of your body. Our minds put limitations on our physical intelligence. FYI, I have been trained in Yuen Method. Much faster to clear these things energetically. Qigong is great but too slow for some of these kinds of issues. It doesn't have to take months and months to get over these kind of ailments or disease. We can literally change on the spot.

You noticed!

Strengthen all the exit portals in your body. Strengthen the energy going down and out of you. You can actually do this by putting your mind on your centerline. Tense your centerline and strengthen the liver meridian and conceptual channel with your mind. It feels mostly like frustration, not really anger but a physical reaction which is creating the heat. In TCM terms, that would be stagnation of Yang energy in the liver. You also want to be neutral about being calm and not being calm. Although it feels like it has more to do with success and failure than being calm. So when you are not calm, you feel like a failure and get frustrated. Cultivate awareness, acceptance, and neutrality.

You are not a fool, you're 19. One thing you can do if you want to stop the parade of thinking and emotions; stop your breath and tense your centerline with your mind for a few seconds. Then send your mind away to other dimensions, other time and space, other energy fields, places unknown, and black holes. Just for fun, I've sent my mind to the Oort cloud. Let me tell you, it's pretty damn cold out there!

I'm here, I'm walking, and now I'm hanging out. Wow, this is pretty cool! Who knew it would be so easy?

Right, that is what the old texts say. What he says (in a nutshell) is because the astrologers were under the influence of the Kali Yuga, their calculations were incorrect. He actually lays out how he arrives at this conclusion in the book: http://www.scribd.com/doc/35297919/Sri-Yukteswar-The-Holy-Science I would not really venture to argue about the dates. We just want to be strong to all of the misinterpretation, misinformation, and wrong answers.

Not according to Sri Yukteswarji. In the "Holy Science" he states clearly that the dates are incorrect and miscalculated. According to his calculations, we began to transition out of the Kali Yuga a few hundred years ago. He says the original mistake "...crept into almanacs for the first time about 700 B.C. during the reign of Raja Parikshit, just after the completion of the last Descending Dwapara Yuga." Regardless, humanity has suffered from misinterpretation, misinformation, and wrong answers for thousands of years now. This is all changing right now. The prognosticators are almost always wrong. Here's the last paragraph from the introduction to the Holy Science by Swami Sri Yujteswar Giri. "Now, in this 194th year of Dwapara Yuga, the dark age of Kali having long since passed, the world is reaching out for spiritual knowledge, and men require loving help one from the other. The publishing of this book, requested from me by my hold paramguru maharaj Babaji, will, I hope, be of spiritual service." -Serampore, West Bengal The 26th Falgun, 194 Dwapara (A.D. 1894)

Thank you for posting this. I've had the good fortune of having several excellent teachers in this life time. A few things I've discovered: 1. Intuition is very important in finding the teacher you need 2. Time, place and person cannot be ignored 3. Life is really the best teacher we have It has also been my experience that the best teachers don't teach because they want to teach (ego), they do it because there is a real need.

Speaking from experience, Taiji does improve flexibility but you do have to practice. To the OP, for me it's always been finding something I enjoy and finding a good teacher. I have trained in Karate, Judo, Tae Kwon Do, Wing Chun, and Taiji. Taiji is my favorite.

Congratulations. It sounds to me like you have been turned upside down, welcome to the real world! My teacher used to say that the mind creates the brain at the moment of conception. I know people think their mind is in their brain or their head, but it isn't. -Adam

Your experience reminds me of how humans eliminate that which they neither need, want, or desire. The hole into the Earth is much like our own energetic and physical exit portals. Very interesting experience, thank you for posting this. -Adam

Dreaming can take place at the level of body, mind, or spirit. It is not simply a psychological issue. The way I see it, we have a mind so our dreams get filtered through our minds. For example, I know with certainty that I've had many dreams that were memories of spiritual experiences. Other dreams were more like spiritual visions. I've also had had dreams where my body was speaking to me through my mind. And of course, there is the typical re-hashing of thoughts and emotions which can permeate the dreaming state.

Here's a different perspective. If you really wanted to commit suicide, you would have done it already. You would not be here asking for help. One reason people commit suicide is they don't see any way out. Awareness is key. There are methods to resolve energetic weaknesses that don't include psychotherapy or drugs. For example, imagine how you would feel if you had been trying to resolve killing, hating, and traumatizing others for 1500 years. That kind of karmic experience would also explain why you feel that people hate you so much. Repeating incarnation after incarnation with no resolution to that problem would be very painful for anyone. I know you say that you are fine and happy as a clam when you are on your own, but energetically speaking this just does not hold up as true. We would also want to just remove all the sadness coming from your spiritual experiences. Thousands of years of unresolved sadness would be painful for anyone. As human beings, we are body, mind and spirit. So we just energetically strengthen that triad for you now. The truth is the only thing that will really set you free.

Standing on a feast Head in the sky looking down Heart an open book