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About wakeupneo

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  1. I'm not entirely sure Anand. Maybe someone else could chime in.
  2. It's no different then Buddhist/Hidu teaching where the end game is soul/consciousness of individuals merging with universal consciousness. Who knows? Maybe we already are an aggregate of souls? I know I sure act and feel like that at times:)
  3. I quite familiar with what other traditions say(naturally they are different based on whether the teaching is exoteric or escoteric). I vaguely heard some Taoist theories that the soul combines and forms with other souls, which then take a new body... but wanted to learn a little more. Again, with the health issues it's really been on my mind. I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes in dread thinking of "permenant insentience" having said that I still want truth and not some fairly tale.
  4. Hmmm... the last few hundred years perhaps
  5. Thank you all for your responses. I will check out some of the aforementioned resources. Dealing with a slew of health problems has created some existential questions. The body dies and breaks down into the elements, presumably the mind/ego go along with it, does consciousness remain or are Daoists some what materialists when it comes to consciousness.
  6. Hey everyone. I was wondering if someone could direct me to a high-quality teacher/literature on Taoist teaching/philosophy(life death and everything between). Everything i find on taoism is either Lao Tay, Chang-Tzu and "soccer-mom" teaching. I was wondering if anyone cant point me to a resource that is rich, perhaps even esoteric that really breaks down Taoist philosophy. Thanks
  7. Hey everyone. I was wondering if someone could direct me to a high-quality teacher/literature on Taoist teaching/philosophy(life death and everything between). Everything i find on taoism is either Lao Tay, Chang-Tzu and "soccer-mom" teaching. I was wondering if anyone cant point me to a resource that is rich, perhaps even esoteric that really breaks down Taoist philosophy. Thanks
  8. You'll be fine. Same thing happened to me and countless others. Stay the hell away from all spirituality, excessive rumination, or philosophical thinking. Put all your intention into the mundane life. Depending on how forceful the energies are you can start doing hakuin butter egg type meditation or simply open up your front(grounding channel) just simply move your attention in a straight line from your forehead to the bottom of your feet. You opened up your back channel(energy up) but your front channel isn't opened, you'll open it and you'll be fine, trust me, I thought I was done for as well and I practiced 10X harder and longer then you. You need to do the second half of the microcosmic orbit. I literally was getting pulled out of my body and didn't sleep for 7 days straight, I didn't know what to do with myself so I would just run and run and run like forrest gump, when I would relax all the energy would start moving up and out. Eat root vegetables and meat--- killing carbs/sugar will kill kundalini. Keep on the SSRI, I did and still am I, it was a life saver. Only talk to people who have been through it, even spiritual teachers, they have good intentions, but ultimately they have no idea what they are talking about.
  9. Hello everyone! For many years I struggled with a dissociative disorder which resulted from many years of over-zealous meditation practice focuses intensely in the head/crown chakra opening/kundalini opening. The trauma that resulted and the experience itself, I wouldn't not wish on my worst enemy. Over the years the energetic phenomena faded. I was left completely dissociated and adrenal fatigued. I've spent $10s of thousands of dollars and saw countless healers and tried various protocols to no avail. Then I started a detox program about 8 months ago and started a "haukins butter egg" ""outer dissolving" meditation and I started feeling a bit better. I was able to get off most of my medications, my energy levels returned to normal, I was able to sleep again at night, my dizziness/hypoglycemia faded. Most importantly I became hopeful, once again, there this could restore me to having a life worth living. 3 months ago I woke up to deafness in my left ear, visual flickering and blaring tinnitus. The visual issues faded within hours, the deafness within 3 weeks but the blaring ringing in my left ear continues. It's been over 3 months now. I should note that prior to the ear situation I felt warm chi in that area for a few days. Could this be some sort of healing experience? When I do the meditation practices, the ringing intensifies and engulfs my head. Of course, given my past this is extremely anxiety provoking. I do my best to not let it affect me but some days just break down and weep. I'm not able to sleep most nights, I walk around with a knot in my stomach as I go through the day and negative and dark thoughts start taking over. I've stopped the detox and meditation to see if that makes any difference. So far, it hasn't. I guess I'm just looking for support. I really don't know what to do. I feel desperate and at times just want to give up on everything... I'm fighting the thoughts that this tinnitus is some irreparable damage. Should I continue doing what I was doing? Is this some sort of herxheimer reaction? That was my initial impression but this seems really damn long for a herx. I pray that you all will be able to give me some insight, guidance and point me in the right direction. I feel such a mess at times I can't even trust my own discretion. If anyone knows anyone that can be of service, that would be helpful as well. I'm willing to pay, donate, whatever it takes... Do you guys know of any healers, retreat centers, practices which might be helpful? The jarring tinnitus is what is giving me the most difficulty at the moment. Thank you all for your love and support.
  10. I don't think so but who knows... I had a non-dual awakening well before this episode. My practice was simply recognizing my true nature(consciousness) and abiding as "That" constantly and consciously. My identity had shifted largely into "That". I can tell you that the quality was much different. Prior to depersonalization, I would rest as consciousness and it was sublime and almost had an intimate quality to it. This is more like absorption into a void. I describe it as living in a state of "waking coma". Life seems flat and gloomy. Visually things are flat 2D, colors aren't as vibrant, sounds are muted, thoughts are transparent and have no emotion to them, taste is dull, and sensation on body is barely palpable at times. One lives life like a ghost, walking around with no drive, no ambition, no purpose, it takes tremendous will to get out of bed sometimes.
  11. "Spirituality" makes my stomach turn these days but I still feel compelled to chime in... Under, I know exactly what you are going through. Intense Depersonalization/Derealization, your story mirrors mine in many ways, right down to the tingling in the third eye and the twitching left leg. I was an intense, perhaps overly zealous seeker for many years and then one day during meditation, during a retreat a little of 2 years ago... POOF! My life was turned upside-down in ways that were unimaginable at the time. Life is most certainly a struggle. I get all the "who is struggling", no desire, well the why so much suffering.. .I truly get it. Unless one has experienced this first hand you will realize just how difficult these concepts can be to apply. If you ever want to chat contact me at my personal [email protected] This has really opened my eyes to the fact that modern spirituality is still in it's infancy in many ways. I have spoken to about a half dozen or more individuals who have fallen into depersonalization via mediation. It seems to be somewhat common with a zealous practitioner, yeah no one seems to have any clue WTF is going on. It's not general like koondaleeny, its very specific with a very specific set of symptomology. Why do the "great" traditions not make any mention of this? It truly blows my mind. I really feel in many ways spiritual seekers are almost like pioneers who are treading new ground as they go. I have spoken to many teachers, the most famous and influential teachers and while they all claimed to understand...they really didn't as evidenced by lack of congruency between teachers and any resolution of symptomology after receiving their "healing" and doing their rescue practices. Nononothing...what do you mean make up what you skipped? Could you send me a link or something on where I can get more info on this "walking dead" state? Under, just hang in there. For what it's worth time seems to help. I feel a bit better than I did in those early days. I don't know if I'm getting used to this "state" or if the phenomena has faded a bit. I also started taking a small does of SSRI which has helped things quite a bit.
  12. Grounding Techniques Tai Chi

    Thank you for all the wonderful replies... Looking to start doing Tai Chi... any system that anyone out there recommends? Particularly one that is grounding, not highly energetic. love, j
  13. Grounding Techniques Tai Chi

    Thank you all for your replies. They are all extremely helpful. Is my logic correct in that Tai Chi practice will ground this energy? Will start to channel this excessive energy down? I have also put meat back on the menu as well as other grounding activities, such as sex, etc. If anyone else has any feedback on this matter... love, j
  14. Hey gang, Just wanted to get some feedback regarding some potent grounding Tai Chi, techniques or systems. Looking to do a couple of hours/day of tai chi practice. IS this too much? Could this in any way be dangerous? After years of intense work in the higher centers, the kundalini awoke and rose. The intensity and disorientation at times was almost unbearable. After a couple weeks of intense grounding, it seems that it has cooled off a bit. Spiritual practice is very much a part of my life, been practicing for many hours that past few years. Would still like to continue in some manner, however am looking for something that would ground the energy and bring Shiva down. Even regular zen shikantaza is out of the question as the mind starts getting absorbed and leaves me totally disorientated. Thinking something with movement might be better for me now. Looking forward to all your feedback. Namaste, j