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Havent you already picked up on hint after hint after hint that desperately seeks to project the idea that we have a sort of celestial lord in this community? 😉

Emptiness, the ultimate nature of Dharmakaya, the Ultimate Body, is not a simple nothingness. It possesses intrinsically the faculty of knowing the nature of all phenomena. This faculty is the luminous or cognitive aspect of the Dharmakaya, whose expression is spontaneous. The Dharmakaya is not the product of causes and conditions; it is the original nature of mind. ~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

windy at the lake ice baths should be avoided the games people play

Khenpo Chemchok: The View of the Visualization As all impure samsaric phenomena are just the numerous inventions of the conceptual mind, there is no reality to any of them. They are just empty forms appearing. When someone's bile disorder is cured, the yellow color that they perceived while looking at a white conch shell disappears. In the same way, when we rest in the primordial state of the inseparability of the nature of our own mind and the thought-free wisdom of Lama Guru Rinpoche's mind, conceptual thoughts and deluded perceptions are purified into primordial space.

DILGO KHYENTSE RINPOCHE A good action must be completely free from second thoughts and expectation; ideally, it should be free of the concepts of a doer, an object and an action.

He must've been in the mood for talking at the time. And probably lonely too.

FEMININE ENERGY The dakini or feminine principle of energy is all pervading energy within our state of mind. Often this energy manifests as either destructive or positive. It seems to describe the source of chaos in the world, whether there may be war, or famine or confusion in people's minds. Everything is cause by this dakini principle of energy, including positive aspects of situations as well ...... Therefore, dealing with this energy is very important in the practice of meditation as well as in life as a whole. One might regard oneself as completely law-abiding and sensible. But equally, there are other energy aspects creeping underneath that. One cannot simply try to be aware and watch oneself, do good, and be sensible; that is, try to be good. But one can also deal with one's own powerful energy flow, which could manifest as love, hate, jealousy, pride as well as other manifestations. They are not necessary to be condemned. *** From The Songs of Milarepa. Copied from an unpublished transcript.

A Self Admonishment. "I talk like an expert, talking and trying to impress others about what enlightenment is, but I do not know what it is not. Like an expert, I talk about Nowness, yet I have regrets of the past and have apprehension, hope and fear of the future. Like an expert, I declare Emptiness but moan at loss and deluded by gain as if they hold substantiality to my well-being. Like an expert, I describe egolessness but only to give ego another name, another form and still suffer from desire, aggression, ignorance, pride and jealousy. Like an expert, I define the non-conceptual but ending up making the non-conceptual into another concept. How foolish am I? Why so much confusion with all that spitting against the wind? All those words will only fall back on myself and bury me in a huge pile of concepts that I will find difficult to climb out from. Rest Thubten! Give all that prideful boasting up! You only need to Rest and train in non-action. Forget about even the idea of 'resting.' Do yourself that favor, please!" ~ Thubten K.

That's your understanding, but not how it actually works.

Karma exists as potential. Don't leave its fate in the hands of imagined beings. Take responsibility to create causes for good karma to ripen, instead of trying to erase unfavourable past karma. Most do the latter, that's why there are so few enlightened persons. Patience is a good virtue.

In essence, shamatha practice is simply training the coarse, everyday mind to settle. I think it means the same in Vajrayana as well as Mahayana and also among the various Theravadin traditions. Only the approach and methods tend to somewhat differ. In Vajrayana, its said that a settled mind will eventually reveal its true, undefiled nature. Much like clearing dust over a mirror simply returns the mirror to its natural function, which is to reflect. No need to engage in the futile effort to try and polish the mirror to improve its innate reflective quality. Yet people attempt this all the time. As for vipassana (vipasyana?), here's one vajrayana perspective:

The Dao may not care, but we must. This straw-dog theme may be the prime reason why I don't care much for Daoism. There's this apparent absence of warmth that is rather off-putting.

Karan may not be aware of the twinned threads of vipassana and shamatha that bind all Buddhist praxis, across all traditions. If there's a school or sect that claims otherwise, it's not Buddhist.

Khenpo Chemchok on Kyerim Practice — The Dzogchen Approach; The Way the Innate Wisdom of the Nature of Mind Is Brought Forth: Here, on the Dzogchen path, even when coarse thoughts proliferate in the mind of sentient beings, each thought is permeated by the cognizant aspect of the primordial wisdom of clear light, just as oil is everywhere within a sesame seed. Therefore, without going through the complex procedures of practicing prana and nadi (tsalung), and so on, if you now put the authentic introduction that you have received from your teacher into practice, all the important points of the path of the two accumulations that lead to the fruition, the two kayas, are gathered in the best possible way. The Way the Dzogchen Path Is Practiced -- The profound aspect of the path is practiced when we are introduced to and take to heart the essence of rigpa, the aspect of primordial space beyond all thought and all conceptual limitations, such as the notions of being existent, nonexistent, and so on. Since all the qualities of the fruition, such as the kayas and wisdoms have always been perfect and complete in their cognizant nature, all the key points of the vast aspect are brought together when we actualize the basic condition of all appearances as the nature of the deity and take this as the path. (The Gathering of Vidyadharas)

When the journey is undertaken by one pulling a donkey lugging two sackfuls of concepts over its back

catch the spirit drift best to have good tyres on too fast, too furious

Example of a UK-based retreat centre's open invitation to volunteers. I think this particular centre is not tradition-specific. https://openpathwaycentre.org/volunteer-2/

I started off doing a sort of semi retreat at a couple of Buddhist retreat centres in Europe. Semi means volunteering in some capacity with what positions were available at the time, in exchange for partial board. Got lots of free time to participate in group meditation, or not. Sometimes teachers would visit and the option to enrol for their teachings is offered, usually at a reduced rate. Durations of stay may vary from 2 weeks to even a year, depending. There have been instances where extensions of stay were offered, and accepted. This usually happens over the summer when activity is brisk. For the first semi-retreat, I'd initially only planned a 3-month sojourn, but ended up remaining for another 9 months. At one of the centres, i was assigned to assist with running the hostel under the guidance of the hostel warden. Mainly housekeeping work, plus managing bookings. Easy work. Was given a free bed, one free lunch per day, and free use of the meditation hall. It was very interesting, all in all. Naturally, all the volunteers would render additional assistance when & where necessary. Like many times I'd help out in the kitchen whenever big retreats took place. Always a good buzz though. Many retreat centres offer such exchange programs. Information usually found on their websites. This approach will be a good eye opener. Then you'll get a taste what retreats entail without having to burn any bridges... yet. After that, you can decide if you want to take it to the next level. Most of these centres are supervised by seasoned retreatants who'll likely be all too happy to share their own experiences once the connection has been made. All the best.

Togal: "After the meditation, this energy becomes apparent. Everything is energy; everything appears as if its light..." (@11.00 min.)

** a common and erroneous tendency of those who over-rely on concepts to make sense of things around them.

WHAT BUDDHA FOUND Without a single scientific tool, Prince Siddhartha sat on a patch of kusha grass beneath a ficus religiosa tree investigating human nature. After a long time of contemplation, he came to the realization that all form, including our flesh and bones, and all our emotions and all our perceptions, are assembled — they are the product of two or more things coming together. When any two components or more come together, a new phenomenon emerges — nails and wood become a table; water and leaves become tea; fear, devotion, and a savior become God. This end product doesn’t have an existence independent of its parts. Believing it truly exists independently is the greatest deception. Meanwhile the parts have undergone a change. Just by meeting, their character has changed and, together, they have become something else — they are “compounded.” He realized that this applies not only to the human experience but to all matter, the entire world, the universe — because everything is interdependent, everything is subject to change. Not one component in all creation exists in an autonomous, permanent, pure state. Not the book you are holding, not atoms, not even the gods. So as long as something exists within reach of our mind, even in our imagination, such as a man with four arms, then it depends on the existence of something else. Thus Siddhartha discovered that impermanence does not mean death, as we usually think, it means change. Anything that changes in relation to another thing: even the slightest shift, is subject to the laws of impermanence. Through these realizations, Siddhartha found a way around the suffering of mortality after all. He accepted that change is inevitable and that death is just a part of this cycle. Furthermore, he realized that there was no almighty power who could reverse the path to death; therefore there was also no hope to trap him. If there is no blind hope, there is also no disappointment. If one knows that everything is impermanent, one does not grasp, and if one does not grasp, one will not think in terms of having or lacking, and therefore one lives fully. Siddhartha’s awakening from the illusion of permanence gives us reason to refer to him as the Buddha, the Awakened One. Now, 2,500 years later, we see that what he discovered and taught is a priceless treasure that has inspired millions — educated and illiterate, rich and poor, from King Ashoka to Allen Ginsberg, from Kublai Khan to Gandhi, from H. H. the Dalai Lama to the Beastie Boys. On the other hand, if Siddhartha were here today, he would be more than a little disappointed, because, for the most part, his discoveries lie fallow. That is not to say that modern technology is so great that his findings have been refuted: No one has become immortal. Everyone must die at some point; an estimated 250,000 human beings do so every day. People close to us have died and will die. Yet we are still shocked and saddened when a loved one passes away, and we continue to search for the fountain of youth or a secret formula for long life. Trips to the health food store, our bottles of DMAE and retinol, power yoga classes, Korean ginseng, plastic surgery, collagen injections, and moisturizing lotion — these are clear evidence that we secretly share Emperor Qin’s desire for immortality. Prince Siddhartha no longer needed or wanted the elixir of immortality. By realizing that all things are assembled, that deconstruction is infinite, and that not one of the components in all creation exists in an autonomous, permanent, pure state, he was liberated. Anything that is put together (which we now understand to be everything) and its impermanent nature are bound together as one, just like water and an ice cube. When we put an ice cube in our drink, we get both. Just so, when Siddhartha looked at someone walking around, even the healthiest person, he saw this person as both simultaneously living and disintegrating. You might think this doesn’t sound like a fun way to live, but it can be an amazing ride to see both sides. There might be great satisfaction. It is not like a roller coaster of hope and disappointment going up and down. Seeing things in this way, they begin to dissolve all around us. Your perception of phenomena transforms, and in a way becomes clearer. It is so easy to see how people get caught up in the roller coaster, and you naturally have compassion for them. One of the reasons you have compassion is that impermanence is so obvious, yet they just don’t see it. ~ Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse

Khenpo Chemchok The "exhaustion of phenomena into the nature of reality," the fourth of the four visions of Thogal, is brought about through the natural interruption of the inner and outer aspects of delusory perception—the outer appearances of objects created from the primary elements, and the habitual tendencies (or karmic seeds) of the confused conceptual mind and its mental states. In this state, we remain in dharmata without ever separating from a vast ocean of untainted bliss. As this is the culmination of the path of training, we really have something to rejoice in. Even those who are not yet on this path (of "no more learning") can meditate by rejoicing for those who do abide there. We then request the deities of the mandala to turn the wheel of Dharma, according to the capacities and karmic fortune of individual beings. The request is made to those who have reached the bhumis, or those who, having reached the end of the four visions of togal, have attained the rainbow body of great transference and can turn the wheel of Dharma out of the expanse of their realizations. We also pray that those who have attained this great rainbow body may remain until samsara is totally emptied, and that they do not pass into nirvana, but stay to bring benefit continuously to beings. Dedication without conceptual reference is to rest in a state that is beyond the notion of there being something to dedicate, or an actual act of dedication. In this way, we dedicate all the merit ever accumulated through these seven branches to the attainment of the youthful vase body, the inner luminosity of manifest enlightenment, which is attained with the six extraordinary features of Samantabhadra. Excerpt: The Gathering of Vidyadharas

“All the violence, fear, and suffering that exists in the world comes from grasping at self…. According to Buddhism, all existents abide in loving-kindness free from concepts in their absolute nature. But the understanding and realization of that true nature have been covered over by the webs of our own mental, emotional, and intellectual obscurations. Now, in order to uncover the true nature and its qualities, we must dispel the cover — our unhealthy concepts, emotions, and actions. Through the power of devotion and contemplation, we must uncover and see the true innate enlightened qualities — loving-kindness that is free from concepts — shining forever.” Tulku Thondup, The Heart of Unconditional Love: A Powerful New Approach to Loving-Kindness

The fear actually is the seeming comfort 'living' mired among the habit of conceptual dependence that stuckness happens, often just beneath the surface of awareness. Not so much that conceptual mind is wrong; rather, its the clinging to concepts that entails much confusion. And conflict too.