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About curiouswanderer

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  1. Sexual Energy and Creativity

    Thanks, I'll have to take a look. I would agree, but masturbation is far from sex. During sex, as you probably know, energy is replenished. I don't understand why so many people say things like "Masturbation is fine, it's completely natural. People have been raised to think its a taboo and that is why they feel guilt. Animals masturbate in nature." Well, lets think about what is actually happening during intercourse - two people are coming together to make one. When you are sitting in front of your computer, and you ejaculate into the air.. your energy isn't going anywhere. You need both the yin and yang to be whole, ya know? What can possibly come out of spilling seed? Sure, tension was released, but I don't think it would be healthy for the second chakra. At the same time, I don't want to have any more sex with out love. I want to treat it as more of a sacred act, you know? I guess I've reached a point where simply engaging in intercourse doesn't do it for me anymore. I want to feel a strong bond with my partner, I want meaning behind it. However, I havn't had anyone to share somebody with lately.. I would personally rather not have sex again until I do find somebody I have strong feelings towards. In my eyes, this way seems more healthy spiritually - but I could of course be wrong. The chakra book I use for reference is called The Wheels of Life by Anodea Judith. In her book she says the second chakra deals with both the sexual and emotional. Here are a few quotes from her book that come to mind: "Chakra two is yin, tus encompassing more of the "feminine" qualities associated with receptivity, emotions, and nurturance." (Judith, 117) "Pleasure, as befits the duality of the second chakra, is a two-edged sword. It's an easy chakra to get trapped in, yet the trap can result in avoiding pleasure as much as indulging in it." (Judith, 118) When I look back on my relationships through high school and college, I can honestly say only one felt right sexually. We respected and cared for each other. Aside from that, I feel I have been kind of sinful with sex for a majority of my life. A one night stand or hooking up with a friend just to have a good time is something I want to get away from, ya know? Sure, I am having less sex but it feels like the right thing to go about things. A more healthy sex life might take patience and time, but I think it's for the best. Aside from that, being emotionally healthy will also lead to a stronger second chakra. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't think frequent sex is an absolute neccesity to a healthy second chakra, especially if you have vicious views towards sex in general. For example: a prostitute will get laid all the time, but they will not make love. In that situation, the sex just doesn't seem healthy, ya know? Or the drunk pair at the bar who just met and go home for a one night stand. Having healthy views towards sex, in my opinion, will do more for the second chakra than having sex. I guess I'd just rather be patient and find somebody I feel right with than carelessly throw myself at people who I'm attracted to. It's tough. I've thought this through more than once, so it is obviously something that often times bothers me. The fact that it does bother me may hint towards supression of this chakra, so I really don't know what to do besides do what feels right. I just want to approach sex as something special than a form of gratification. As much as I hate to say it, for most of my life I viewed it as a form of gratification. I want to transform the way I think about things and this seems like the only way... I'd appreciate any comments people have. This is a topic I have argued about with friends time and time again. There seem to be a lot of ways to look at situations such as the one I have. I find it to be an interesting topic.
  2. Sexual Energy and Creativity

    Even if you aren't doing art for profit there are still huge benefits though. Some of my favorite fiction work is of the high fantasy genre. Let's look at a common example, like Tolkien. The man essentially created his own universe.. even his own language! He is basically the omnipotent creator of his own world. He lives every characters point of view, knows every occurance/action, etc. And he can go there whenever he wants at will. Part of my background includes some studies of the occult / magick. When looking at the Tree of Life, the first step up the tree from this world (Malkuth) is stepping into the unconcious realm (Yesod). When you have creative union between the will and the imagination, you are doing this. I believe the benefits of art in terms of concious exploration are huge. So profitable or not, you still win. When I look at the mechanics of the MerKaBa, it seems more "magickal" in nature than it does a form of mental discipline and cleansing - though it does these things as well. Are you familiar with sacred geometry at all? The meditation is easier to explain if you have some knowledge of that. In a nuthshell the MerKaBa tries to raise your energy (or vibration, or frequency, etc.) to the heart chakra frequency, connecting you to your higher self. Several people I know have also went to Flower of Life workshops to learn the meditation and they also report great results. We practice the method taught by Drunvalo Melchizedek. I think some practitioners misunderstand the concepts of the MerKaBa and have mistaught it, however his teaching seems safe and seems to make progress. A lot of people on these forums seem to have a complex understanding of the mechanics of meditation and our energy system, so I'll post some of what I've noticed with the meditation. When you spin your MerKaBa, you are counter rotating two super-imposed star tetrahedrons in your heart chakra (star tetrahedron is sared geometry). You then just sit in meditation for however long you want, continuing to breath in prana. I run every day, I've read exercise cleanses your endocrine system and balances hormones. After my run is when I do my meditation. I usually meditate for 15-30 minutes a day. After I get out of meditation, the state of mind is very zen. Sometimes I have to exit my meditation because of the intensity of the energy of which is built up. It's also as if I can feel all of my cells vibrating.. because the MerKaBa is the only kind of energy work I've had experience, I'm not sure if any of this is normal or not. You can feel energy around your heart for hours after you meditate.. it puts me in a very calm, happy state of mind. I usually feel energy from the first chakra up into the head too. It feels like a connected stream of energy. This will last for maybe thirty minutes or so after I exit the meditation. If you've ever taken DMT, the after feeling is some what comparable physically - but the mental state is very zen. You feel like you are floating, the top of the head is usually intesne with energy too. I usually exit meditation and am pretty sweaty. It seems purifying. It feels great, and good for me.. so I continue to do it. I'm skeptical of a lot of new age stuff, but if you read Drunvalo's Flower of Life books are fascinating, and convincing. Sacred geometry makes the canvas reality is painted on - when you spin one of the most basic geometric patterns that creation is modeled after, you are working with a deep and core element of your being. The MerKaBa is supposedly an activated field in and around you that lasts for 36-48 hours after meditating. These geometries are always there, just not always active. The state of mind between what I feel on psychedelic drugs are not unsimilar to the effects after a meditation session, I feel it is a great tool to use for a creative catalyst. I usually have issues with anxiety and second guessing myself, but it goes away with the meditation. I'm sure a lot of energy work does this though, I'm just naive to other meditations unfortunetly. I've been practicing for about a year and a half now, I can't even describe how much I've changed as a person. It sometimes feels like there is an invisible hand guiding me along.. my interest in art and magick sometimes feels like an obsession, but I can see progress in myself as a person. There is more depth to me than ever, and that is what I'm looking for - growth. I've learned a lot about sacred geometry and the nature of reality, I feel. I've also noticed a change in long-term memory.. it brings up a lot of subconcious things. I've cried several times after meditation, but it feels good.. it isn't a sad feeling. The energy in the heart is overwhelming sometimes, it makes you very caring. I'm more sensitive than ever, but I feel in more in control of my emotions at the same time. Sometimes I get caught up with work and school and forget to meditate for a few days, and when I do, I definetly notice my MerKaBa is no longer active.
  3. Sexual Energy and Creativity

    Interesting thread, although the way it sounds I have to give up flirting! Considering the culture we live in, I think it would be extremely difficult to completely abstain from having lustful thoughts. If it was over a long period of deconditioning prior views relating to women, then sure. But regardless of the situation, those thoughts can still come up, and you can still choose not masturbate through willpower. I don't understand why not masturbating is repression, really. You can be open and honest with yourself emotionally and figure out your problems. For me, I ponder the question of why I feel the need to beat off. I think the urge comes from a deeper psychological issue I havn't addressed, or that certain conditions put me back into older neurological patterns. As a teenager, it was a way to relieve stress and even have fun. Orgasms can be addiciting, but so can cocaine. If you are a coke head and refrain from unhealthy drug use, it isn't repression, is it? I guess I don't see how retention of seed leads to something psychologically unhealthy. If anything I think it can decondition the problem and break it apart. If you are trying to change your views on sex and women, stopping masturbation seems like a logical first step. You are treating sexuality as something sacred, ya know? It then becomes more then a simple "feel good" activity at that point. This summer is the first time I have cut back on marijuana use since I was maybe 15 or 16. I've been a habitual user for a long time, and I've read that chronic pot smoking can have detrimental effects on the sex drive and labido. Studies also show it leads to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. The effects of weed on my sex drive might contribute to emissions. I never completely quit smoking, though I've cut back my use considerably over the past few months. Since cutting back, I notice my sex drive is much more active again. It's like I'm 14 sometimes. I go to bed high many nights a week. I'm not even sure if that contributes, but it sure isn't something I would find shocking. I practice a meditation called the MerKaBa. Some people on these forums seem to think it will harm you, but I have had nothing but great results thus far. I'm not sure if it helps with emissions, at least I've never read anything saying so. Are you referring to any particular meditation, or just energy work in general?
  4. What's with all this energy lately?

    Maybe you're just becoming more honest with yourself and your feelings. Beauty surrounds us, it's not a bad thing to feel like that when you are sharing a moment with your girlfriend. It's a good thing to be able to recognize the beautiful things in life, and seems unnatural to not have intense feelings during an experience like that. I wouldn't call it over emotional. I cry all the time, and it feels fucking amazing.
  5. Sexual Energy and Creativity

    Thanks for the info, Creation. Well, I still have an emission every blue moon - they never really went away. With time, they became less frequent, but they never completely ceased to occur. I was hoping with time they would just go away. Now, as to the question as to why I started up again...well, to say the least, it wasn't really a well thought out choice. It was an impulsive decision that I later realized was a mistake. I still can't really figure out why I gave in, but that is aside from the point: it happened, and instead of dwelling on that fact I need to simply learn from my mistake and move on. One thing I've noticed since I began my "spiritual journey", or whatever you want to call it, is I've become more isolated to some extent. Now, I am by no means an anti-social hermit or anything. I still have a solid group of friends I hang out with on a daily basis. I love them. When I was younger, however, say.. 19, I didn't even believe in god. I had no knowledge of any esoteric knowledge what-so-ever. And it definetly had an impact on my decision making. I had a lot more sex back then, but it isn't that I'm in a rut now. I just look for more meaning in something sacred like sex, I feel guilty when I engage for pure pleasure. Perhaps lonliness contributed to the decision? Now, as for methods I used to quit for so long? I have no methods besides willpower, haha. For me, there came a point when a voice inside started telling me I shouldn't be masturbating. By coincidence (but probably not), this started happening right around the time I first started experimenting with LSD. I understand a lot of people masturbate and there are spiritual practices involving masturbation to raise your energy, but I honestly feel that keeping your seed in is the best way to build energy. If your conscienece, higher self, or whatever you want to call it is telling you to stop I think you should just do it. Stick to it for the sake of your personal experience and life itself. If you yourself have noticed a fall in creativity when you jerk off, then just stop. Think about how precious creation is.. it is a special thing to be here! When I look across the world, we have so much disaster. Death and disease are every day news, people don't even think twice about the horrors we are exposed to. At the individual level, we can do our part with a little help from the imagination. The contributions ones creativity can make to society are virtually unlimited. Albert Einstein once said "Imagination is more important than knowledge." Some of the most influencial people of our era happened to be extremely creative people.. artists, scientists, etc. Many authors and painters were average joes who were able to have a positive inpact on humanity. This all started at the individual level. For this reason, I try to enhance creativity as much as possible. I find it inspiring. I believe art has no bounds when it comes to concious exploration.. creativity is precious. By bringing beauty into the world, you are essentially helping people see the light. To me, creativity is one of the most powerful tools any individual has to make a difference. Don't get me wrong, art needs no purpose and can pertain strictly to individual exploration - I just wanted to point out that one person can have an impact if they are in the right place on the inside. One could also argue that self-pleasure is a byproduct of the ego. Seeking outside is not the path, at least in my own eyes. I think it is best to look within. These are things I personally try to live by, and for that reason I felt immense guilt after I beat it. I dunno about you guys, but if you have similar experiences with guilt and conscience.. just think about what you're doing. I had crossed the line of "sexual exploration" into masturbation for pure pleasure, as if it was a drug. Transform the negative into positive. After a few weeks with out masturbating I never really thought about it, I don't see why cold turkey wouldn't work if you are stubborn enough! I do understand there are spiritual practices out there that require masturbation. I think it's fine if that works for you. Just be honest with yourself. It's all about intention. If you are masturbating with pure spiritual intentions, I'm sure things will work out. If your drive is lust, however, well.. that certainly isn't pure intention. You know deep down why you masturbate, I'm sure everyone has a different situation. Follow your heart and things will work out as they should!
  6. Sexual Energy and Creativity

    Hello everyone! I'm interested to see what some of you have to say in regards to a link between creativity and ones' sexual energy. First I would like to start by saying I come from more of a "New Age" background, I have very limited knowledge on Taoist practices. I apologize if the termanology I use differs from that of which you are used to. When I was younger, I masturbated a lot - and this continued up until I was about 20 years old. I'm now 22. When I was twenty I began meditating for the first time, and for spiritual pruposes I also quit masturbation. I must admit, going a few years with out beating off made a noticable impact on the way I think. It seems as if my entire conciousness transformed itself. I have been using writing to explore conciousness in these past few years. Earlier this summer, I gave in and beat it for the first time since I was twenty. It was over two years. I've gotta admit, it feels like I've lost something very special inside of me. I no longer can find access into the creative realms of the psyche I once had, and I can't help to wonder - is creativity linked with sexual energy? When I smoke heavy amounts of marijuana, I also lose this creative access. It seems like I dig as deep as I can, but it isn't deep enough - the information just doesn't come to me. I'm guessing too much weed can also harm the labido. These reasons lead me to believe that a link does exist. On top of that, I have generally felt less alive inside since I last masturbated. It's like the fire that fuled me is gone. I've been a lurker on these forums for a few weeks now and I've read some stuff about Qi > Jing > Shen. From what I've gathered, when you lose sexual energy, you lose Qi - correct? If this is the foundation for the path to enlightenment, and I am interpreting this correctly, I worry I lost a lot of what I had spent the past few years building up within. After a few weeks, I feel myself slowly getting back to "normal". I'm wondering how long it will take to re-establish my Qi supply. If anyone has input I'd love to hear it. As I said I'm kind of a rookie when it comes to this stuff, besides basic knowledge of the chakra system I am pretty ignorant. Any comments are appreciated.
  7. Aloha!

    Hello everyone, I have been browsing these forums for some time now. There have been a lot of good discussions on these forums so I figured I would make an account. I'm not very familiar with Daoism so I'm hoping I can pick up some knowledge on these forums. My background would be more occult/new age. I find the approach of the Taoist interesting so here I am.