A little lot about thyself,
I am 18 years old, I have had a few head enlightenments, and very much would like to take a few steps back and do it right so my entire being can participate in the yin and yang.
I read a few articles, many very awesome, I'm sure many answers on this site will humble me, in return I'd teach anything to anyone if they wanted to learn it. A wise man told me once, no one knows everything, but collectively we do. Sharing our hearts, dreams, visions, and feeling understood, is such a joyous part of life.
I had a rough up-bringing, as an infant I was blinded in my left eye from a lazer surgery to remove some cataract, the surgoens distorted the lens and pupil, I still can't honestly say if I have depth perception, I sorta think I do. It's been an interesting factor in my life. No matter all the times I say I'm use to it and it doesn't bug me, that's a lie.
From a youngster I loved nature, picking oranges, carving sticks into pencils, collecting bugs and frogs, climbing trees, feeding ducks, and fish. It seemed real.
Age 6, one day in class I began drawing a series of yin Yangs, rows, then pages of them until reaching a thousand. . . . didn't give much thought to it, didn't know what a yinyang was, saw it on karate flags, thought it looked cool, resonated as a friendly symbol.
At age 7 my father went to prison for a 3rd Vehicular Manslaughter charge, DUI, sentenced for many years, overall he had to serve 10, he just was released August 2005,
Age 10 I discovered the human orgasm when experimenting with masturbation, my first ego-dissolution, beyond deep sleep, many more to come at later dates.
Age 11 Became disturbed by the one of the 10 commandments, the one about not worshipping false idols,
the meaning blew my mind, I looked at everyone.... What are we doing!
(referring to celeberity popworship, president supremacy, hierarchial church, hypocrisy)
Age 13 Discovered marijuana wouldn't kill me if I tried it, discovered poetry, philosophy. Skateboarding was what I did most.
Age 14 One night around the Winter Solstice a 1/4 hit of LSD pursuaded me to change my mind about the nature of limitations, later that year first long term sexual relationship left me insane, depressed, why does love turn to hate, why do all things turn to their opposite?
A nessesary step, a precursor to being a successful man is a great failiure.
Age 15 Early ascetic practice, took akin to smoking bud, practice the way of free thinking, Drank ayahuasca with a group of 5 friends, one being my older sisster, remarkable forbidden tea it was.
Age 16 High dose of magic mushrooms catapulted me into alternate realities of past , present, and beyond conceptual opposites, saw mayans who taunted me for spoiling their meeting in paradise, saw myself interconnected with various animals, became part of a synthetic drum circle that's beat was so divine it launched me into hyperspace, first into a celtic knotwork mosiac of the universe and its four infinite corners, second into an all encompassing dimension where all that existed was a mighty OM.
Read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse in one day, it touched me deeper than any drug induced head trip.
Began loving books, mostly nonfiction, memoirs on hyperspace, zen, and the tao
Be Here Now, Hardcore Zen, The Teachings of Don Juan, The fire from Within, The Mastery of Love.
The I Ching. Tao Te Ching.
So many trivial events played even larger roles in my awakening, the realizations, insights, and humility is endless, and will always be, the relationships, friends, foes, strangers, and communion with the unified natural spirit, and all the sentient beings whom I so dearly love is my biggest inspiration to stay here and now, so I may in the end inspire them to ascend themselves, for in essence I am them, they are I.
I am a humble man, I don't want to be a "crazy", a leach, and I would never be a cancer upon this earth. I am fascinated by visions, dreams, which the nature of is infinite, so in describing them to someone not so facinated, I'm sure I come off as crazy.
I still use entheogens ayahuasca, mescaline, mushrooms, lsd, 1 - 4 times a year, as part of my tantric yoga practice, it works for me, don't recomend it for everyone. The legalities of it are one of the most dangerous part. I advise against it, I discovered different typed of breath work, rediscovered by psychologist, used by ancients that propel one into hyperspace. They are more effective than the use of drugs and in return, there is no addiction, hangover, and the experience starts and stops with your decision, where as psychedelics can leave you "out there" sometimes an hour or two, sometimes a day or two. Using psychedelics are not shortcuts to anywhere, there are no shortcuts, there's actually no where to go.
The answer my friends IS blowing in the wind, the great truth the sages want to express is in this moment.
My passion is in plant lore, learning, teaching, myth, spirit, music, art.
my ideal culture is one that blended all those concepts as one fluid way of life.
While I do not deny the worlds suffering, and I so often weep for it,
I do not prefer to suffer.
I am pro-peace, and believe a successful global culture can be achieved through just that means.
Global Culture, culture being, the enlightenment of human expression, global, the harmony of the whole earth system. I know it's a far off topic, and a far off dream, but does the journey of a million miles begin in a single step?
My great inspirations, Lao Tzu, The Book of Changes, Ghandi, and all the people and there sways of consciousness, and the godhead. This forum, upon finding it inspired me to work onward on my great work I'd love to share with you all sooner than later.
With love, with gratitude, it's great to be here now.