CarsonZi

Hahaha.......I was going to write the EXACT same thing (except citing "North America" instead of the US) but figured that would be too arguementative....glad someone said it though Love, Carson

Without thinking about it Love, Carson

I too was not here at TTB when Father Paul was alive, but reading his posts makes my heart swell. He is missed though he was never known. RIP Father Paul. Love, Carson

Hi hyok...... I would pray for him....drop his name in Silence....and stay out of his way as much as possible (for now) if I were you. Let Source bring him what he needs. Stay open to helping but don't force anything. Be open, honest and unconditionally loving. That is what I would do. You may have to deal with sexual advances in the future if he takes the unconditional love the wrong way, but staying open, honest and loving with him even in that situation will dissolve all the tension and allow him to release his own fears....as well as allow you to compassionately deflect his advances. Hope this helps a little. Love, Carson

Someone needs to hook me up with the Canadian Dragon!!!! Love, Carson

Namaste Friends! I posted this on the AYP forum this morning and thought I would post here as well to get some more "well-rounded" advice. Thanks in advance! Last night I had one of those seemingly "all-nighter" dreams and it brought to the surface some issues for me that I believe need to be addressed. I had a difficult social life for a lot of my childhood....I grew up (for the most part) in a very small farming town (total pop. 3000) in which almost everyone living there had been born there. I moved there halfway through grade 1 and left halfway through grade 9. Because of this (moving into a new town halfway through the year) and the fact that everyone had been friends since birth, I was very much "the outsider" and spent most of my effort trying to "fit in" and feel "accepted". This never really happened for more then a few months at a time. I had "friends" who would plan together to hurt my feelings by doing things that took a co-operative effort and would very much make me continue to feel like the outsider. This pushed me in the direction of trying to fit in in whatever way I could....which ended up causing me to become a bit of a "bad boy" just so that others would not screw with me. I would get into really really violent fights, I became the town drug dealer (even to many of the adults), started having sex at a REALLY young age, etc etc etc..... But this "trauma" has never really been fully dealt with I don't think. It has left me with a near constant need for acceptance, even from those who don't have any influence in my life, and has left me with a predisposition towards being embarrassed. The other side of this is my disposition towards feelings of "inadaquacy". For the most part this is mainly sexually related, but not always. I was fully sexually active from the age of 4. This has caused (probably obviously) some trauma for me (and others as well). By about the age of 12 I had had sex with several different girls, some younger, some older, and I was beginning to get a bit of a reputation as being quite good in bed. This caused the most popular girl in school (at least to me) to decide she wanted to have sex with me. This was completely disasterous for me. I got so mentally excited over this that I ejaculated very very quickly and was unable to satisfy her. This obviously got around my school/town very quickly and from that point on I have had a problem with feelings of sexual (at least) inadaquacy. Well, last night as I said at the beginning, I had a disturbing all-night long dream. This basically was a dream that could be considered my "personal nightmare" combining all the "faults" I feel I have, into one big episode that left me feeling very troubled upon awakening. What I have realized from this is that these are the next two big issues I have to start dealing with. So, my question is this: Do you have any specific suggestions on ways to go about dealing with deeply imbedded childhood trauma? Love, Carson

Hi hyok, King K..... I disagree with this statement.....(not that it makes any difference ).....If you feel jealousy it means that you also feel at least a slight sense of ownership......like, "this girl is 'mine'". She doesn't "belong" to you, which is why marriage can be such a wierd thing (I am married myself). "Your" wife is not actually "yours". I agree with this very much though Love, Carson

Hi King K..... I don't really have any advice for you....a tough situation that you seem to have a good perspective on. What I will add/suggest here is a practice....if it resonates with you, try it....if not, don't. It is a great practice for opening up the heart though. Hope this smooths out quickly and without unnecessary trauma. http://www.aypsite.org/220.html Love, Carson

Hi Mantis...... I started trying to get into Kechari stage 2 in mid summer 08. Since then I have probably snipped the frenulum maybe 8-10 times. What I have personally found to be the most effective in gaining extra tongue length is a combination of a slightly larger snip with twice daily stretching sessions. I practice AYP basically as prescribed, so I have a morning sadhana before breakfast and an afternoon sadhana before dinner. In the mornings I find that my tongue has tried to reattach itself while I sleep and that the first stretch in the morning is a bit painful.....but after that stretch, I am ready to go and can easily get into Kechari stage 2. I usually spend a fair amount of time during the day in stage 2 so the afternoon stretching is usually pain free. What I have found in all this is that to gain the most amount of tongue length in the shortest period of time, it is necessary to take a slightly larger snip then what is recommended by Yogani at AYP and to stretch twice daily. With this, I have found that the space created between the cut ends of the frenulum do not reattach. Instead it takes about a month or so for the cut to heal and it heals not by reattaching itself but by growing new frenulum skin.....so basically with every snip I now gain about 3/4 of a cm in length....and it stays. What I had found before, when following the AYP kechari snipping lesson as directed, was that I wasn't gaining any extra tongue length at all. I would snip, but the cut would heal very very fast, usually over night in my sleep, and I could basically snip 2 or 3 times a week with full healing in between. This was when I was just snipping and the only stretching I was doing was trying to get into Kechari which was not very effective, and I kinda lost heart with the whole effort and started to just stay in Kechari 1 without trying to get to stage 2. Over time though, my bhakti really started to increase and I was automatically reaching for stage 2 without any acute effort. So I figured I would start snipping again. The first cut I made (when restarting) was accidentally a little bigger then recommended, but I noticed that I was much closer to being able to leave my tongue in stage 2 without finger support (up until this point I could basically get into stage 2 but I couldn't leave my tongue there if I took my fingers support away). Soon, with the addition of twice daily stretching before I sat for my sadhana, I was able to get into Kechari 2 and leave my tongue there by itself. Now it is pretty easy and I am working towards stage 3. Hope this helps, it's a revolutionary practice when you have ecstatic conductivity (kundalini) already running through the system. Love, Carson

Yup No cavities yet! It's amazing the abuse the body can take....we humans are resilient little creatures Anyone else enjoying the fruits of the higher stages of Kechari? Love, Carson

AYP Deep Meditation is great. http://www.aypsite.org/13.html Love, Carson

It means you are angry and want to punch someone Kidding I don't know specifically what that mudra means.....sorry. What it means in general is that doing that mudra at that time was necessary to correct energy flow in order to (at least partially) dissolve an obstruction. At least this is my experience with automatic yoga/kriyas. Love, Carson

Katrine Kristiansen is in Oslo for a while longer (before moving to Ireland) I believe. You could probably contact her.....her website is here: http://www.satsangwithkatrine.com/default.html Love, Carson

Since this thread has kinda lost it's original intent (due to some post erasing) I figured I would post something here that I posted on the AYP forum this morning in regards to mudras (hand) and their effects during pranayam and meditation......... Lately I have become increasingly aware of the energy flows within the body, and during meditation and pranayam I have been experimenting with different hand positions to see what works best. Here are my observations, would love to hear of yours..... I have come to realize that a "closed" or "partially closed" hand mudra is best for me during Spinal Breathing Pranayama. Whether it is Gyan mudra, Dhyana Mudra, Anjali Mudra or any other "closed" mudra, I find that "closing the circuit" with the hands is more conducive to keeping the energy flow within the sushumna....almost like a bandha(lock) for the hands....Sitting in siddhasana seems to be like a lock for the energy flow out the feet, mulabandha for energy flow out the root, jalandhara for the energy flow out of the head, and a closed mudra with the hands to keep the energy flow from escaping out of the hands. I find closing all these "escape routes" during pranayam seems to "supercharge" my sessions. What I have found for Deep Meditation is basically the exact opposite. I used to engage all the mudras and bandhas during DM, but I have relaxed on that. I only engage Kechari and Sambhavi during DM now. And what I have found to be the most effective hand mudra for DM is to completely open the hands, palms up on the thighs. This (for me) seems to completely open the crown chakra and I can feel the crown spinning as well as the minor chakras in the palms of each of the hands spinning. Doing this seems to make my body feel very light (as in weight). If I close my hands in Dhyana Mudra or another I seem to "close up" and "get heavy" again. I find it very easy with the palms (and subsequently the heart and crown) open to become the mantra and to move deep inside to that place of "complete-ness". Open like this I seem to feel completely "whole". It may just be me, but I thought I would share and see if anyone else has experimented with different hand positions for pranayam and meditation and whether or not they have noticed any effects from them. Lots of Love! Love, Carson

Hi Fox..... I've come into a crisis. This wasn't even a crisis till I tried labeling things Isn't that always the way IME the use of "labels" and "definitions" is one of the major causes of seperation from the Divine. Pure existance just Is....no labels, no definitions....just Blissful Union with All. however at times, I guess things do need a label. They do make it easier to discuss things, but in the end discussion only goes so far....personal experience, actually DOING, is what goes all the way. I believe in a higher power, but I do not believe in a God of personification, I believe in a God that is everywhere, that is in the smile of others and in the curve of the horizon, a God that is in the water and trees. He may posess a physical form, but that form is beyond my realm of comprehension. Sounds good to me I believe that Jesus Christ was an amazing enlightened being, but I am not sure about him being a saviour, honestly, after 12 years of Christian schools I'm not really sure I get why he is our saviour, What is there to be "saved" from anyways? The only thing we need saving from is "ourselves" (small "s"), and the only one who can save us is "Self/Source/Love/Tao/WhateverYouWantToCallIt/ThatWhichCannotBeNamed". Jesus was a (literally) shining example of how to "save oneself". I mean, we are all "God's children".. right? Absolutely! We are all Divine sparks. I am also unsure of a christian afterlife, I don't believe that a loving creator would let someone burn in hell for eternity because they are a bad person. This one I used to laugh at even when I was a Christian....I used to say to my pastor and my youth group leaders and my Christian friends; "God/Hell/Judgement Day doesn't scare me one bit....God couldn't judge me harsher then I judge myself....Hell will be a piece of cake if it is "God's" hell." Now I have come to realize that "God" and "I" are One. That I am a manifestation in everyway of "God"...just like a God that "is in the smile of others and in the curve of the horizon, a God that is in the water and trees." We each are the "Creators" of our existance. We are all "Ultimate Creators". I know this isn't a Christian forum, but I just have been really into Eastern thought, and I give talks to a youth group and help with a local Christian church, and lately I feel out of place.. Though I think my talks on stillness and breaking concepts of what God could be are very helpful, I just don't think I am..well a Christian. Ah....labels labels labels. Such a shame we let the labels ruin the message But what does that even mean? I think Jesus was a great guy.. I think he was a Buddha.. I just don't think I owe anything to a creator, and I get a lot of that vibe in Christianity.. I think we are our own Saviours in a sense. But then there are these glimpses of simplicity and inner peace in Christianity that I do love.. These are not exclusive to Christianity in any way. These exist regardless of "religion" or labels. These glimpses (and more, in fact the entire VIEW) is within each and every one of us....just waiting to be seen. The whole Gospel of Thomas, a gnostic gospel, speaks of inner peace and the kingdom of God being in each of us, and hell being in each of us too if we do not find the perfection in the Now. Yes, I always loved the Gospel of Thomas .....such a great representation of what I would consider "real Christianity" or what some may call "esoteric Christianity". I guess I am just stuck at 1) picking a group to associate myself with.. 2) Being angry at myself for wanting to label my belief system. 1.) Why must you be part of a "group"? I know many here seem to see that as necessary, but it isn't for me in any way. Take what works and leave the rest is my motto. I have (almost) always considered myself a "spiritual anarchist" of sorts though. 2.) Let go of the need to judge yourself. Find that stillness within and release that anger to the stillness. Forgive yourself. Some of you had to have started out as Christians.. Here it was 12 years give or take a year or so. How do you do this? Do you still associate with Christianity and Taoism/Buddhism? Do this? Break away from Christianity or become a Christian? My entire extended family consider themselves Fundamentalist Evangelical Christians, so I still associate with Christians, but I do not consider myself a "Christian". I do like to think that I have learned from the example of Jesus Christ, but I see no need to ritualize those lessons, nor do I feel the need to worship the Divinity in Christ anymore then I feel the need to worship the Divinity in myself....which is to say that I worship everything equally as "God". I also spend a long period of time of my life considering myself a "Buddhist"....and I was very active in the community. I still attend a Buddhist Principles class once a week, but I am not a "Buddhist". I do like to think that I have learned from the example of the Buddha, but I see no need to ritualize those lessons, nor do I feel the need to worship the Divinity in Christ anymore then I feel the need to worship the Divinity in myself....which is to say that I worship everything equally as "God". Do you go down both paths? There is only one path and that is "your" path. You can't get off "your" path. Your path is wherever you are right now. I would suggest that you meditate every day, but don't even think about it. Just do it. And then go out and enjoy your life! How did you conquer this, or approach this? If you are talking about "conquering" my mindset of being a "Christian", it took time, for me it took marijuana (I am NOT recommending this), and it took me realizing that Truth is individual. There are no Absolute Truths, there are just Paradoxes....like "Stillness in Action" or "Active Surrender"....and trying to understand these things with the mind is futile. If I were you, which I am not, so take this with a grain of salt, I would start a daily stillness meditation practice of some sort. Personally I practice AYP (Advanced Yoga Practices) Deep Meditation: http://www.aypsite.org/13.html (free online lesson). This practice (and the rest of the AYP system) changed my life dramatically. Don't know what it will take for you to "conquer" this, but only you will know. Best of luck! Love, Carson

I came up with a new term for Vajra and his "type" which seem to be poking their heads out of their holes more then usual these days; Buddhamentalist....as in Fundamentalist Buddhist......Vajra reminds me of my Fundamentalist Evangelical Baptist Christian parents.....they claim to have an open mind, but are so tightly bound to their "belief system" that everything either has to "fit in their box" (frame of reference) or it is wrong. Ignorance is bliss! Love, Carson

Vajrahridaya......you are completely attached to Buddhism/your idea of Buddhism....until you release this attachment you will continue on and on and on as you are now.....forever spinning your wheels. I hope one day you find traction by releasing your beliefs in favor of personal experience. Love, Carson

Your above post is EXACTLY why I have you on ignore. AND why I choose not to participate in conversations (qhich are really just straight up ad nauseum arguements) with you. You spout other people's words and other people's realizations and have (seemingly) nothing to share of originality. Back on ignore. Love, Carson

Hi SereneBlue..... I think you are misunderstanding....it goes the other way. 2nd Density energy forms (plants, animals, insects, ameoba etc) take a REALLY long time to naturally transition into 3rd Density energy forms (humans) unless there is intervention (help in the form of Love and attention) from a higher density energy form. I'm pretty sure the process doesn't work both directions....there is always forward progress (in the long run).... We as human beings are the envy (so-to-speak, more just "the luckiest") of every other density.....there is nothing more Bliss inducing then realizing you have been dreaming this whole time and waking up to Truth (that we are all One). There is nothing more Bliss inducing then living in misery to find out that you were CHOOSING to live in misery and making the choice for Bliss instead. We as human beings are extremely lucky....we are in the Density that is the "waking up" density....we are here in this "reality" (which is really a dream) to realize that "reality" is a dream....that we are NOT seperate entities having seperate experiences...we are all One and we have All gone through this before. We have just forgotten. This is all a game...."Lila"....God's Play.......We are here to remember that we are Source and this is the Density for doing it. If you don't "Realize" in this lifetime you will have another chance . Worrying about running out of time is silly....time is an illusion...All is Now. Love, Carson

Ok Vajrahridaya....I am going to go against my better judgment and engage with you.... And I suppose you are saying that YOU "understand emptiness"? Emptiness can not be understood my friend. It can be experienced and that is it....to say that you "understand" emptiness means you really don't. I know this was directed at Blasto but I am going to be arrogant enough to answer it anyways......Yes I do, and talking about it is futile....something you seem to completely miss. Emptiness does not MEAN anything Vajra.....it just IS. This is why it is pointless to talk about it. Once you truly experience emptiness you will agree I am sure. As much as my energetic body can handle without going into overload. Enough. Not that it makes ANY difference. "Buddhism" was the Buddha's path to enlightenment, not mine. My path is my path and that's the way it 'should' be IME. Including the concept of dependent origination...it just IS once you are constantly aware. The fact that you keep talking like this makes it very obvious (to many of us I'm sure) that you are nowhere close to the "level of attainment" you claim to be. There is always more to experience thus there is always more to learn.....once you have raised your awareness to heart level and are fully embodying the virtue of compassion you need to learn to utilize WISDOM within compassion, as straight compassion leads to martyrdom. Once you have experienced the union of wisdom and compassion there is yet even MORE to learn/experience....and more, and more, and more until re-creation happens for All. Noone is "fully enlightened" until we ALL are "fully enlightened". Think what you want but you have no idea my educational background. I know quite a bit about Mahayana I just don't agree with you that it is the end-all-be-all of "religions". ALL religions to me have pros and cons.....spirituality is individual, ritualize it, organize it and it becomes religion, and no one religion works for everyone. Mahayana doesn't work for me. P.S> Just because you have "studied" mahayana extensively doesn't mean anything. You could be the most elite Buddhist scholar out there but until you have dropped that knowledge from your head to your heart and begun spouting wisdom that comes from within instead of reiterating someone else's wisdom, you are still lost. Only a Buddha would know. You achieved Buddhahood Vajra? Love, Carson P.S> All this is said with Love Vajra.....I have nothing against you, and have thus far stayed out of conversations with you because to argue with you seems pointless.....you have your opinions and you are very tightly bound to them....to each their own....I am only contributing with a post to you here because I felt it was time we officially "met". Hope you can read through the above with your ego in check and realize that this is all truly said with Love.

When one comes to realize their "Silent Core" it becomes easy to take the "self/ego" out of the writing....then there is no need for editting because it is not "you" who is writing as everything just "flows". Love, Carson

I will confirm that this was when "real living" started for me. I have a very high (recorded) IQ, and have in the past been VERY identified with my "intelligence". But it wasn't until I realized that I didn't really KNOW anything that I thought I knew, that the REAL Knowledge I did have dropped from my head to my heart. I no longer know as much as I used to, but in other ways I Know much more. Only once all your ideas and beliefs are tossed aside can you truly Know. Knowing comes from within, not without, and true Knowing requires no proof. Love, Carson

Hey Markern..... The answer to this question came first for me while reading "The Law of One/The Ra Material". In it, it is explained that all animals are able to go from "Second Density" (the density of microbial, animal and plant life) to "Third Density" (the density of Self-Awareness) over time, but that takes a LONG time. A faster way for plants and animals to "graduate" from 2nd Density to 3rd Density is through the aid of a 3rd Density energy form, such as a human. Basically it was explained that animals like a dog (who is a human pet) is a likely candidate for graduation to the 3rd Density because of the attention and Love given to it from the 3rd Density entity. Same can happen for Trees and a few other specific plants. It is the Loving energy given to the 2nd Density organism that helps it transition to a state of Self Awareness. This is the way it was explained in The Law of One, which resonates deeply with myself. Personally I have 2 dogs, and had one that we (my wife and I) had to put down due to lymph node cancer a couple of years ago. I can almost guarantee that these two life forms wil be human in their next lives. They are SOOOOOO human already! There is no way that this can be proven, but I know in my heart that this holds deep Truth for me. Love, Carson

Often we miss more then just "lessons" due to overthinking....Sometimes we miss out on Life itself! Let go of believing your thoughts and just exist as pure consciousness! Easier said then done though, so keep up your meditation practice or this will be nothing more then a dream within a dream. Love, Carson

Hi awake.... You "think" too much ..... You don't have to believe your thoughts. In fact, once you STOP believing your thoughts you will find that you are making much more progress then you could ever imagine. My advice to you is simple: Connect daily to "inner silence". Do this EVERY DAY! (Twice daily if you can) Use a style of meditation that works for you (not energetically so much as Silence-wise, although one that does both is double good!)......Awareness Watching Awareness, Trataka, Deep Meditation (mantra), Stillness meditation, Mindfulness, Zuowan, something that allows you to find Silence for a few minutes every day. And then STICK WITH IT even without definite results for a while. Give it at least 6 months of one style of meditation that connects you to Silence before you decide whether or not you are having some "success". Also, it is important to set your intentions so that you know what "success" is to you. Know exactly what you are trying to accomplish when you start your practices....meaning if you are looking for relaxation, or if you are looking to end suffering, or whatever.....set your intention. And then PRACTICE! And be patient! Rome wasn't built in a day and you won't become "enlightened" in one either! You deserve nothing but to know yourself as Source....you are not only Divine but you are HOLY, SACRED, PERFECT! You deserve nothing but PURE BLISS. Be easy with it. Love, Carson