I`m a 45 year old male. I`m also a mental health patient with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. In 1990 I started reading self help books which led to books on mysticism. I was so inspired reading about all the Spiritual enlightenment stuff that I more or less dumped everything else I had been interested in up to that point; I`d been losing interest in things for a while anyway, except alcohol which helped me manage with my illness, although I`ve given that up now. In 2000 after I`d been meditating for 7 years, I ended up in a mental hospital with my illness. It was in there that my dark night started. The quick results I expected from meditation didn`t appear and I started to lose hope. After that point everything in the world looked completely pointless and has been that way ever since. Now the world looks like a desert, and I spend all my time hoping and waiting for a mystical experience. I started experiencing Spiritual guidance a couple of years ago, in the form of precognitive dreams and also synchronicities. This lifted my spirits for a while, but now it seems as though it`s not enough, and I long for an awakening experience. It now seems as though I`m stuck in a bad dream which seems to have no end. I can`t imagine how anything in the world can possibly become meaningful again.